It only gets worse good luck and god speed!!!
I agree dr or counseling theres definitely something going on as this is not normal behavior
Shes 9… that’s all you need to know.
Yeah she will be that way till she’s 25…
Get used to it! It will get worse 
Don’t worry she’ll grow out of it
Please side with your child and try to understand that children are real people with real emotions. That they have no clue how to deal with. She may feel completely out of control in most situations and is spiraling by the time she interacts with you. Talk with her like a person and try to get to the root of what’s causing the behavior. Spanking her might solve it for a minute but it does nothing to heal her and begin to change the behavior. Being proactive will always beat being reactive.
She needs a good spanking!!
Maybe she needs something to make her care.
Its called puberty it’ll be with you for the next 3 or 4 years at least.
1 Like
I think it’s just the age. My 10 year old only showers when I tell her, even though its part of her daily “chore” list. We also found out she was just showering and not using soap, shampoo or conditioner! I don’t think they fully understand the importance in taking care of themselves. I try to explain it but it goes in one ear and out the other.
1 Like
Give in. Say okay. This is a power struggle and the more you give it attention, the more she doesn’t and will not care. Let it go. Give in and say okay. Allow her to not match, or be a little stinky she will figure it out naturally. Allow her to get to know herself and her body this way too. Also you could start setting a schedule for bath nights and make it fun, turn on some music, dance with her and help her prepare for the routine, or make up a fun song about hygiene. Make it fun and easy. Not hard and punishable. Turn the attention away from punishment and into interacting positively with her, and watch the power struggle fly away.
6 Likes
She’s 9. Schedule her entire day like boot camp or a farm, and hold your ground. Give all her stuff back and place boundaries around every one of them. However you do it, understand that you are in a power struggle with a 9-year old. She needs to know that the parent(s) run that joint…not her crappy attitude.
2 Likes
Maybe instead of yelling and taking away sit down . Talk with her ask her why she doesn’t care. Maybe there is more going on then you know. Teachers or kids at school. Ask her how she feels, what would she like to do. I’m not saying don’t punish, but try to get her to open up
5 Likes
I also say let her be. Once you see a change it means she’ll be “growing into a young lady” my niece was the same way til she started her monthly. Just the past few months I’ve notice a change into how she dress and cares for herself
My daughter was like that when she started junior high school. She never showed she was mad that I took things away or grounded her. It’s a battle, I know. She still thought she could do whatever she wanted and it didn’t matter if she got caught or not. As for matching clothes, let her wear what she wants.
My four year old is like this .-. She doesn’t listen to anything at all that I say
1 Like
My daughter started having problem at 9 years old. Some major issues, yelling & holding out on things won’t help. Have heart to heart talk . Schedule a appointment with counselor for you both.
Bathtime, make fun & interesting, go-to mall get new bath bubbles, try new scents, different types of soaps. Remind her your her #1 cheer leader.
As for the matching, leave it. She may be trying to find her own style and the more you fight with her on what you think is right the more she will fight to assert her own personality. The showering, I think they all go through this, both sexes. Take her to the store and let her pick everything out for her shower needs. This lets her personalize that as well. Just don’t make this a fight. Like others have said, the more you fight her the more she will fight back.
Schedule, routine, consistency, and take time out of your day for one-on-one attention. These are early signs of anxiety, depression, and possibly other mental illnesses that if you don’t address NOW will only get worse. She probably says she doesn’t care because she actually doesn’t care about herself. Lack of hygiene is a symptom of low self-esteem. The things described are symptoms of a problem, not the actual problem.
1 Like
therapy… she might be depressed. maybe not but better safe than sorry, that stuff gets worse over time if ignored.
4 Likes
Ignore the behavior it’s a power struggle she is trying to become an independent person kids now especially girls are changing our world she sounds strong willed when you stop bringing it up she will see she isnt getting a reaction and do what she needs to
1 Like
Could be her self confidence. She probably says it because she doesn’t understand why she should care. Try sitting her down and asking her questions and let her know it’s ok to have her own feelings. Don’t get upset or tell her she shouldn’t feel that way though. That was my oldest problem when she went through that phase.
When you take everything out of her room leave 5 days worth of clothes. Hubby did this and my daughter had to wear what he left. It’s a bit embarrassing to where some immature clothe items. Worked amazingly at our house. Nothing else in her room but a bed.
Do the same not caring right back. Don’t set a plate at the table for them or make them any food. Don’t wash their clothes
When you figure it out, let me know. I have a 9 year old daughter that is exactly the way you describe yours. HELP!
Why don’t u try talking to her maybe theres something going on to make her feel like she doesn’t care… if she’s not taking a bath good why don’t you go and wash her hair and just talk to her when your washing it… she’s only 9. Maybe she needs some attention. 
what ever it is I hope someone’s advice helps.
Do things with just her and try to have a good time.
Hold her accountable. Give her chores and a set list if what will happen if they’re not done.
Buy a book about growing older and tell her she is in charge. Have her shop and cook a meal once a week. Enjoy 9 because 17 is in your future 
Make her do physical cores/yard work/cleaning around the house.
Every time she says I don’t care throw something she "does"care about away
If you let it be she won’t have anyone to argue with, if she wants to stink let her, if her clothes don’t match, dies it really matter. children have so little control over the things in their lives. Si let her dress how she wants, her hair how she wants, let her eat what she wants as longs asnit is what you serve. My son was the same way, he is 35 in January, now none of this matters . She will grow up and be a good adukt.
Oh please yes! Help!
Following my 6 year old has been this way
My daughter stopped this shit when kids at school started picking on her… She came home crying about it, i looked right at her and told her I didn’t care, I tried to help you and guide you through it, you didn’t want to listen. That’s right I told my kid I didn’t care she was being picked on for things she absolutely had control of. Guess who started washing everyday and not being a little asshole… Sometimes being a dick right back works.
Tell her n 2 yrs
If it burns down there oh well