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QUESTION:
"Just got broken up with because I drink too much and I can't stop but I keep loving. I don't know how to stop. This will tear me apart but I know I can do better. I don't want any negative comments, I'm killing myself realizing what I did to screw things up. Please I just need some words of encouragement and advice."
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"You can do it, the first step is realizing there’s a problem. Personally I think it’s harder to just straight out quit… so I would recommend downing your intake a day until it gets to zero. In the meantime, use that time to learn about you. Learn what your triggers are, figure out if there’s meetings around you, get a therapist or a journal to write in to help you. Mental health is a big thing when you’re trying to be better so make sure to take care of yourself."
"Go to inpatient treatment. Get clean for you because you are ready"
"As a child of a parent who was an alcoholic you won’t stop until you truly want to n it will destroy almost everything/everybody around you till u decide to stop. I suggest you go to an intensive inpatient rehab cause u really do not want your life going into a downward spiral n losing everything because of alcohol."
"If you are in withdrawal go to a hospital. (Preferably with a detox unit. They will help you start the process.) if not In withdrawal look for an in patient service. If the inpatient services don’t have any openings get yourself to an outpatient site and they will do everything in their power to get you the help you need. (I worked at an outpatient site and was able to see many people gain sobriety. The first step is to want to change and know where to turn to. AA meetings will help you as well but from my work experience, the AA meetings are better for after you start to become sober not a first step. However, everyone is different. Do what is best for you but take that first step and reach out. Having a good support system will also help you from relapsing. I hope you find the help you are looking for."
"You need a good solid support system. If you don’t have one organically making your own is fine. How you make your own is you submerge yourself into the recovery world. Everyone outside recovery needs to be asked to keep alcohol out of your senses. No smelling, tasting, or seeing it. Anyone that can not respect your recovery, or is in active addiction needs to go. I am 9 years clean. There is hope. Please save yourself and reach out for help. Even if you hate AA you can find some amazing friends there. You can even go to NA, which I personally prefer. You got this."
"You have to want to stop and you have to be willing to put the work in. Period. Take a step back and really examine yourself and your life. Think about what you want long-term. Think about how sobriety is going to help get you there. And work for it. Go to meetings. Get counseling. Take the steps. It’s very few worthwhile things don’t have a little hard attached to them."
"You have to want to stop. Then take it a day at a time. Start with meetings."
"Go to AA or a dry-out clinic. You realize you have a problem which is really amazing. Don’t think about relationships for a year. If they love you, they will be waiting for you when the time is right. It may be that you need a life without alcohol in it so your relationship with them may not be what you need in a year’s time. Take the first step to living without alcohol or drugs. I don’t drink and people who do can seem very boring when you go out with them. It is possible to have a great night out without alcohol and I do it all the time."
"Meetings and therapy/counseling also realizing what’s more important to yourself. The booze or a life. Nothing comes good from drinking learned the hard way."
"If you’re acknowledging that you have a problem, then you’re ready to get help. You may feel bad for the situation at hand, but realizing you have a problem and wanting to get help is the first step. Take the next step. Don’t focus on what has happened in the past, focus on your future. Get help. Learn to love yourself. Learn to make good choices for yourself. Once you’re well, everything else will be easier. Best of luck!"
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