How do I gain custody of a child that is not mine? My fiancé wants to care for his niece and I told him if he wants to take care of her then we need to get custody of her because I am done. She has lice, and I’m talking like an infestation. It has been going on a year now, and I’ve made it very clearly I’m not okay with it I think it’s disgusting, it’s completely contagious and I am at my wits end. I don’t want my three girls with beautiful long hair to get it. I tie everyone’s hair up and mainly stay at the park so we aren’t at home. It’s not her fault she is only 3 and does not understand. They’re so lazy they shaved half her head for “thinning” but truly it’s because they’re so f-ing lazy they don’t want to care for her hair. She doesn’t understand to “wipe” due to never being taught. She has no clothes that fit except what I give them for hand me downs or what we have bought. Has zero shoes that fit her to the point I bought her a pair and she literally said “but aunty these shoes are little.” I said no baby there’s shoes fit you feet hunny. Like I don’t know what to do and I love this girl. But it’s been over a year and nothing had changed and I’m to the point either we take custody of her or we stop putting our kids at risk for bugs. Call me bad or rude or whatever but I care about my child’s hair. I just would rather take her in than let her suffer the way she is. Any tips ideas I don’t know what to do. I’ve said many things to her parents they just do not care !!!
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I get custody of a child that is not mine?
I guess I would probably start with public health or DHS. Or a lawyer. Then go by their recommendations.
You gotta get a lawyer. Take the parents to court and go infront of a judge saying why the parents shouldn’t have the child and you should
Well her parents need to be seen as unfit. Get CPS involved.
File for guardianship first
Take her in for a treatment. There are places for that. Your fiancé will have to go to court to prove her parents unfit. Talk to a lawyer to see what he needs to do.
Sounds like CPS needs called.
Call child protective services and hire a family law attorney
Get cps involved first then if needed get a lawyer
Depending on where your located there’s are many different ways to approach it but first I would speak to a family law lawyer. Most likely a petition to the courts for custody
Heather why the angry face? She clearly loves this child and wants the best for her. Clearly she cares more for her than her own mother does.
Time to call the State on Them.
Child Protective Services
Document all this. Take pictures of the kids hair, clothes, shoes, everything you can to prove a case. I would start now on documenting everything
This child is not being cared for and all you seem bothered about is lice😔, take her in and care for her
You KEEP trying to help!! People wanting to just ruin people’s lives! Disgusting! Help this family! Don’t tear it apart!!! Smh…
Call CPS explain your the family and just tell them
My kid also has an infestation I couldn’t shake until I used God’s sent cure. Pink Lotion. It’s in the ethnic hair isle. Slather on freely, use the lice comb and problem solved forever.
Talk to them. Ask if you can take her for a year so they can relax and get their lives on track. If they agree, during the year document their visits and interactions with the child then file for custody. If they dont care or make an effort then they might very well just hand her over.
The only way we got rid of a bad lice infestation was shaving heads. My kids caught it from camp.
Don’t involve dcfs just get a lawyer. An you have to have proof of everything
If this has been going on for a year and no change then please do the right thing for that baby. Tell her parents straight out that you will take the child, and provide proper care since they can not. If that doesn’t work, then Call child services. They will place a child with family first. Then you can try to get custody.
Report to cps for starters and then find a good family attorney, they can answer any questions on the subject and there’s plenty that will do a free consult before charging you anything.
Call DHR and tell them the issues and let them know you are willing to take her in and take care of her.
File for guardianship, then go from there. Cps will check both homes and see what’s going on. Start taking pictures and documentation of everything. Exact dates, take her to urgent care and have them state it’s an infestation. Cross you t’s and dot you i’s
And new to call 
CPS
Maybe make friends with the child’s momma.stop judging her and gently teach her better. She sounds a little negligent… apot of parents can be if they were brought up that way theirselves.you always help more by being kind.
Call CPS or whatever child protective services you have around you.
Report her parents to CPS
Are they good parents otherwise? Money might be tight. Why don’t you treat the little girls hair? But does sound like CPS need calling though.
Take them to court!!!
Everyone saying CPS but there’s also the route of getting them to sign over their rights to yall. Go talk to a lawyer
CPS. You HAVE to establish a paper trail.
Call cps immediately, report them
Nah sorry you don’t take someone child because they struggle and because the child has head lice sometimes it’s pain get rid of she might be to sensitive for lotions so shaving is only option and if your the worried called social services so they can get help don’t tear the family apart and steal there child
Social services don’t take kids from parents living on the streets in tents. You won’t get custody over lice… plus, you sound slightly neurotic as well, so there’s that…btw, shaving her head will not work. You will always have hair follicles.
Call cps and keep calling
Just put thick lotion in your hair for a day then wash it out. The lice suffocate. Cheap easy and fast. Re use the lotion every few days if you need to.
all of you so quick to call cps. that is kinda harsh cause they dont keep families together if they remove her
Use lavender hair products keeps you from getting lice bc they don’t like it…you can use alittle cooking oil to get them out now bc she maybe immune to the products but if parents don’t treat house and her bed or where she lays they want go away…I would call CPS and ask for advice and see an attorney as well good luck keep us updated
CPS. You can report anonymously. If she was in school or daycare, they would’ve reported it already, so you should definitely report it ASAP.
Please do all these things but documentation is everything. Any thing you may have already save. Save it all and show the family courts. It’ll be so much easier with proof.
Pictures are wonderful, not always something you have but I would start trying to get as many as you can. If you take her to get her hair treated have the stylist write down or email you about the severity of the situation.
Even if you don’t think it will help it will.
So her ONLY escape from a neglectful home life may be your home and you’re saying unless she’s a permanent guest you don’t want her around because your children MIGHT get lice?? Pshhh. Couldnt be me! 
Custody or not, any child who isn’t be loved right is welcome in my home regardless!! I’d shave my head if I had to.
Fight in court to be a guardian. Then they may hand over rights
There is a shampoo for your kids not to get it. My grands had Super lice. Had to pay a professional in to clean the house and do their hairs. It was awful. It almost took a yr to get rid of them
You have to prove the child is in danger or neglected
Call cps explain you are family willing to take placement for the child…they can give you emergency guardianship then you go to court to terminate birth parents rights and they will be given to u…now the courts may habe the birth parents take classes ect to try to get child back but if they are as lazy as I say I doubt that will matter…make sure you are documenting EVERYTHING
call cps and don’t let these people saying “don’t take their child away just because they struggle” get to you because that is straight up them not caring for that baby.
Do not call CPS. Just have her parent sign a personal agreement for the time being until the girl is with y’all for a certain amount of time and then you can file for custody. I repeat do NOT involve cps
Then, get rid of the lice, be there for her, and don’t single her out. Don’t call CPS because they’ll probably just put her in a worse situation. Get a lawyer and go from there.
Report them to CPS for neglect and go from there, parents like that irk my nerves. You don’t just let your kid sit with lice that’s terrible.
Could he not just offer to take her? They may say yes
Ooh I am so glad no one called cps on me when my kids got lice 3x in one year. It’s extremely hard to get rid of. Maybe help the parents? Treat her hair and help mom and dad clean? Maybe they don’t have a working vacuum or dryer or know how to properly get rid of it. It’s overwhelming and a lot of work. Sounds like they need help to me.
Being poor has nothing to do with being clean. They are unfit parents. She’s doing the right thing. Even if she does treat the little girls hair she’s gonna go right back to her parents and home and get them again. Definitely contact a lawer . Document every thing , dates and times
Lol you’re not gonna get custody of a child bc she has lice, there has to be more than that before CPS even considers alternative placement. If she has clothes then CPS isn’t going to care where they came from. There’s kids out there being starved, beaten, abandoned, sexually assaulted. I’m not saying lice is nothing, but maybe it’s in their house and they just can’t get rid of it.
Why haven’t y’all called cps yet?
Pretty sad to hear this poor baby is 3 and being treated like this. Why not treat her hair at your home so she doesn’t feel like she’s the reason your not at home, judging by what you’ve said you don’t really go near her? So not big pick up cuddles etc for fear of getting damn lice?? Common that’s sad, she’s a baby. If you have real concerns cyfs is a good out let. They may be so useless though so get documentation on the little one. Honestly I feel for this baby seems like you treat her like a outcast
you cannot just take a child away from their parents. if there is actual abuse or neglect ( and no-lice and wrong sized clothing is not neglect) then you report to social services. If not you just try to help. when the child is with you then you ask mom if she minds you taking her to a lice specialist. you buy her clothes and shoes and send them home with her. not hand me downs- new clothes and shoes because if you think that she is better off with you then you had damn well better be prepared to treat her exactly the same as your own children. What it comes down to is that unless the child is being abused or neglected you shouldn’t need custody to be a positive influence. You have no idea the trauma that being removed from her parents could cause.
No 3 year old has the ability to wipe properly. And lice is not a medical condition, they’re actually allowed to go to school with it now and could just be passing it back and forth. I don’t think anyone should have lice, just stating the facts.
Don’t leave her behind. It’s not her fault. If they aren’t interested in raising her maybe bring it up.
You won’t get custody of someone’s kid for them having lice and no shoes that fit. I’m not saying any of that is right but just trying to give you realistic advice.
It’s not even just the hair… I babysat a little girl who snuggled up to me and upon noticing her scratching her head a lot I didn’t even really have to dig for bugs. They were crawling out onto her forehead and her scalp was fucking RAW. It’s so sad. I don’t think you’re a bad person for feeling this way. Sorry, I don’t have any advice but I hope that you and your partner can get it figured out… it sounds like she’d be much better off with you.
Will the parents be willing to sign over temporary guardianship?
Just go to the courthouse and file for emergency custody. Take pics and take her to the doc.
You can look into kinship and adoption.
My family has guardianship of a lady my mom went to highschools with daughter.
She’s been with us almost 3 years now.
She gets to call and visit her mom and sister on an established schedule.
We will be adopting her evetually, but at this point the only thing that will change from what we are doing now and adopting is her last name.
If you care more about lice on your kids hair than the well being of this child you need a reality check. Gross.
Go to the courthouse and file for emergency custody.
You can’t just file for guardianship. If CPS has been called out and there is an open case then that’s better. There are protocols to do such a thing. Even if you got all the lice out of her hair. As soon as she goes back home she will have it again. It’s a losing battle. If she is under fed and the parents are deemed unfit then they would take the child out of their home. They always try to place a child with family. So you would be called. Unfortunately, it sounds like it has to start with you calling CPS to get them out there. It’s not an easy process though and it could possibly cause some problems. Or just talk to the parents and tell them if they are having issues with taking care of her then you would take her till they can get their stuff together. And then file on court for guardianship. And you could use the court thing for medical and school seasons. I know this. Because I have done it.
Cps! That’s neglect. So much trauma comes from neglect … cps will find ways to help the parents if not they will temporarily put the child in foster care which can be u n ur husband. Ultimately u want her parents to shape up n be able to care for her in the future. Her parents need help they seem to be struggling with mental health
Treat her hair with a lice treatment. Then after you comb it. Rinse it with slightly diluted apple cider vinegar and comb thru again. Id call CPS on the other stuff.
That child may need you. My heart hurts for this girl
Being old and a former foster mom and adoptive mom it isn’t easy! First the parents have to be found unfit and really while icky lice isn’t it! Should you become vocal the parents then become defensive you see kid a lot less! You become friendly, offer to help you might see the kid more! I became “friends” with birth parents helping them parent in several situations. PS several of our kids brought lice home, swapping combs and hair clips! Didn’t kill them! One daughter did get scabies… swapping clothes! She grew up!
Avoid CPS!!! Just go to the courthouse and file for emergency custody.
Have you tried talking to her parents? Not about her needs, but about taking her temporarily so she can have what she needs? A lot of parents would be glad fo the help if you made it clear you aren’t trying to take the child forever.
You can also go through a family law attorney, with a lot issues.
Chid services isn’t the way to go. Even if they do step in on behalf of the child, there is no guarantee that your fiance will end up with the child.
Treating her hair when their home hasn’t been treated is pointless. It solves nothing. If it truly is as bad as you say when you get her next, take her to the doctor. They are mandatory reporters. They will get something done for the child.
Have you considered asking her parents instead of a hostile take over??
Poor little girl what a sad life she must have at home, it makes my piss boil with anger, some people should just never have children.
Outright ask for custody
Not sure where you live but if head lice is the one of the minor issues more than likely CPS won’t do anything unless their living quarters is truly nasty and no food or adequate food is available for the child or children if more than one. If this child belongs to your finance’s sister/brother have him speak with them about taking temporary custody if things are that bad for them - talking to them may get you further than anything else. Explain to them your concerns and if they are in that hard of a spot that they can’t supply her needs they may just agree to let you take custody. Good luck and please do not abandon this child who seems to really need loving/kind people in her life. God Bless you all especially her.
Offer to help. And CPS will not help. Don’t bother calling. And cos will not let the person calling take custody. Maybe offer to help parents. And live inst a reason to stop contact if your kids get it then treat it. Treat her her hair if you can also. Your family help each other. Maybe parents are having mental health or depression
Are the parents infested also?
If they will sign her o er willingly than u just need an attorney otherwise get an attorney and take it to court
What does your fiancé say or think about it? Why hasn’t he confronted his family or even yourself about it. Some babies suffer more going into care if there’s a time period while yous sort out taking her full-time.
Poor baby. It’s not her fault her parents are neglectful. Why not try talking to them and offering to HELP? They may accept it. If not, then maybe involve authorities. As much as your uncomfortable with her live, imagine how that baby feels? Lice can affect her iron levels as well. Be compassionate.
Avoid cps at all cost as a foster parent im telling u avoid cps
The child should mean more to you than the lice do. She cant help it and wont understand why she no longer gets to play. Why dont you offer to take her one day and lice treat her.
I believe you can go to the court house and file for emergency custody if u can prove that they are unfit but you have to prove that they are unfit.
If you care so much then do something about it? Instead you’re bashing a 3 year old. How disgusting of you 
I feel for that little girl 
Go be that child’s voice! Apparently she isn’t being loved right, so go show her what real love is. Regardless if you have custody of her or not. I’d definitely say something to someone about the neglect. Then tell them you want full custody of her.
Sounds like you need to get in contact with DCS/CPS . From there they will let you know what to do.
If they’re neglecting her call CPS & have her immediately removed via courthouse with emergency temp custody. Get a lawyer if you have to, report and document all the incidents etc
Call CPS and start there. They can answer your questions. No reason this child has had lice for a year. Y’all are adults, call CPS.
Cps won’t remove for lice or small shoes
Stay in this little girls life. Instead of being at the park take her home and do a lice treatment. Continue to do what you can. Offer to take her for longer times and unless the parents get money for her from the government they will probably leave her with you. Teach her how to clean herself from toileting to brushing her teeth, to washing her hands and face. Children do not ask to be neglected.
Don’t call cps and mayb they will sign a paper for you to take her under ur care and go from there is there just her or more kids
If you truly care why aren’t you cleaning her hair of them? Beyond that all you can do is report the mistreatment to division of children services.
Call CPS. Start there
Hair straighteners kill lice
I know it’s not a fix if they don’t treat the house she stays in but my granny always used mayonaise in our hair for lice we would coat it with mayonaise and sleep overnight with a shower cap or something on then rinse in the morning it always got rid of lice for us… and it’s great for your hair
I guess the real question is… Do they WANT to hand her over? If not… Nothin much will happen. Lice are not neglect or abuse…
Document everything and petition the court for custody…and buy NIX for the lice…get Adams flea spray and spray the furniture, carpets, mattresses,everything in the house, rugs and all, and do your girls hair with Nix also…is will protect them from getting lice for 14 day so no worries bout them getting it while you are getting rid of the lice the niece has…take custody of this child as the parents are clearly unfit
All kids get lice. It loves clean hair. Treat it. If it happens again… call CPS and ask for emergency custody papers