How can I get my 3 year old to sleep in their own room?

How do I get my three-year-old to sleep in a room alone?? Her sister, who just turned one when she turned 3, was having some health issues and was in the hospital quite a bit as an infant, and my brother n his wife apparently were helping my parents watch her while I was gone with my youngest… anyway they knew not to put her in her bedroom with the door closed and the light off Bc she was still getting used to being in there. Well, they did, and she ended up waking up and, from what I heard, screamed bloody murder for 10 minutes till my dad heard her and came in and got her. Now she refuses to sleep anywhere, but in a room with men is really getting hard Bc my one-year-old has set her own schedule where she gets tired about 7 pm, and my older, it honestly just depends on what her day has been like. So any advice helps!!


Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I get my toddler to sleep through the night?

My advice would to be… let her fall asleep with you and move her to her own bed every night. You are her safe space. Eventually she will wake up less often and sleep throughout the night in her own bed.


I wasn’t in the same exact situation with my oldest, but he wouldn’t sleep in his room. So I had him Start off by having his bed next to my bed and id lay in my bed till he would fall asleep. I’d slowly move his bed away from my bed each night. Then I’d start by letting him sleep in the furthest spot away from my bed, without me laying in my bed. And was eventually able to get him into his own room. At first, he had a toddler bed, so it was easy to have his bed in my room and move it each night.

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Get a wall calander and put stickers like a sticker chart.

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Leave a light on and the door partially open. She’s probably in the age where she is scared by herself in the dark. Help her get over it slowly so this doesn’t leave scars emotionally

I always put mine to sleep and then transfer her to her room, I keep a nightlight on and her fan for sound. I also have a camera monitor for when she wakes up and gets out of bed I can hurry and her to her because I know she gets scared :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: we also have a pretty strict bed time. 7/7:30 is warm bath with melatonin infused epsom salt and 8:30 is bed time, in between bath and bed we lay on the couch and watch a movie or read books for quiet time.

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Use a night light in her room

Let her fall asleep in your bed and move her to her own room or put a toddler mattress right next to your bed and start having her sleep on your floor next to the bed, then over time move the mattress farther away from the bed till she feels more confident to be in her own room.

Get her a stuffed animal and tell her it’s her nighttime protector. When my 4 year old was having bad dreams, we got him a stuffed dragon and told him it was a dream dragon and he works hard all night fighting the bad dreams away. It worked and now he doesn’t always need his dream dragon to sleep but its their in case he does.


I put a toddler bed on my side of the bed. When our son fell asleep I slid him over. But, what really worked, was telling him I’d buy him a TV for his room if he’d sleep in his room all night for a week. It did work, just a little longer than a week! Doesn’t have to be a TV. Maybe a big toy, a pair of shoes she has been wanting.

We have a nightlight on dresser, stays on for 45 minutes or something, and a portable handheld nightlight on the nightstand. Might help ease her mind

Play with her in her room and on her bed during the day so she won’t only associate it as a scary place.

I always rocked my girls to sleep and then put them in their bed. But when they got too big for this, I would sit on their bed until they fell asleep. Then I would slowly start moving myself farther away by sitting in a chair and slowly moving the chair away until I was in the hallway and out of sight. But I still sat in the hallway where they couldn’t see me to prove to them that I was still there and would respond if they needed me.

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They caused her emotional trauma. Who forces a child who’s afraid of the dark to stay in a dark room then let’s them scream for 10 minutes? I feel awful for your daughter! Be patient & supportive Mama! I know it’s hard. With your love & support she will eventually regain her sense of security. For now try spending time with her after baby goes to bed. Then lay down with her in your room with a light on until she falls asleep. Gradually you can leave her a little more awake until you are leaving her to fall asleep completely on her own. Then make a big deal about her room. Get her new sheets or a blanket or stuffy that stays in her room. Let her take the lead. If she stays in there all night give her a reward (special time with mom, favorite breakfast etc) the better she gets at it spread the rewards out. If she spends 3 nights alone, 5 nights, a week, 2 weeks etc. I would still use a nightlight & give her a flashlight.patience is the key.


I’ll let ya know if I ever get my 5 year old in hers :joy:

My advice would be to either let her fall asleep with you and move her or, lay with her until she is asleep. Do a routine, let her check under the bed,ect. Whatever helps her feel safe

I mean I just let my two-year-old sleep with me then again I don’t mind sharing my bed because I don’t ever plan on having a partner

My daughter was afraid after listening to War of the Worlds. I would let her sleep by us, but she had a pillow and blanket on the floor by our bed. She eventually grew out of it, but we entered her world and chased all the bad things out of her room and out of the house.

Try naps during the day in her own room then nights will be more comfortable for her. She needs to get used to it

Make a big deal out of getting her a bigger bed, let her help fix her room . I did a twin size or single bed. Doors open and a lighted path from her door to yours. Stuffed animals and a light that shuts off automatically, flashlight or dream light. She has to lay quite and still for so long then she can come get mommy. If she does maybe read a story and repeat.

Get a fun night light and a speaker. My kids love rain sounds, another thing. If she can grasp conversations then you gotta start getting it into her head that it’s happening and that’s she’s got to be a big girl about it. Mine use to throw a fit and come flying out of her room like a bat out of hell lol. Eventually, after two to three days of repeating it and putting her back in her bed over and over, she eventually got over it and now sleeps on her own. Reward her for sleeping in her bed, let her feel the pride of being a big kid. If you make it fun, she’ll do just fine. Xoxo momma

I used a red light bulb…it was a soft warm light… didn’t throw shadows…

With my son we transitioned him from crib to his room little by little. We started by laying in a queen size bed with him. After he got used to that, we got him a twin size bed. We read to him before bed and will stay in the room until he goes to sleep. He occasionally will wake up so I just walk him back to his room and make sure he gets in his bed. It took a while but keep at it mama. We have a soon to be 2 yr old now and I’m 19 weeks pregnant so she will be transitioning to her own room soon as well. Good luck

Routine. My son who is 2 and daughter who is 3 shares a room when my daughter is home 3 days out of the week and they both go to bed at 8pm. Gotta have that routine

When my son was about 2 he kept trying to sleep in our bed because he had always slept with my ex wife from the day he was born. Til we moved in together. I would have to just keep putting him back in his bed with a night light, and would sit outside his door so when he would try to come out he saw me and would just go back in to his bed. He did it multiple times a night for about 3 nights then gave up trying to get to our bed.