How can I get my 4-year-old to move on from something tragic?

:warning: Trigger Warning :warning:

its not a nice topic unfortunately. My now ex is in jail because he sexually assualted my 4 yr old. And i have a soon to be 2 month old with him. Sadly she bonded with him before all this happened and im a emotional wreck where eating and sleeping seems nearly impossible. The only way i can get the baby to sleep is with a blanket of his cuzz to her it smells like her dad. Im out of ideas of how to try and get her to sleep without that blanket. I rather worry about her then myself at this point. Please i really need help on other ways to get her to sleep since he is no longer in the picture.


Is she seeing a therapist? You should ask them about this. I’m sure they’ll have some solid advice from experience. I’m so so sorry, I can’t even imagine :cry:

1 Like

I think she means the baby as in the 2 month old. And you may just have to go cold turkey and tough it out for a few days. It’ll get easier.


I agree with going cold turkey it’s gonna take a couple days but it should get better

1 Like

Maybe it’s not even his smell but the feel of the bkanket. Babies are sensory and are known to have favorite blankets. Eventually with time the smell will fade from the bkanket. I would just keep using it until then. Or until she grows out of it. Mine Is 10 months and has a favorite one as well.


Agree with above, use some of your clothing if need be, she will be ok. I’m so sorry for what you’re going through, I hope your 4 year old recovers…lots of love xx


She’s 2m old she can adjust to just about anything. It sucks but you’ll need to find a new way to comfort her. Rock her, pat her, snuggle her, bathe her at the same time every night. You need therapy and some guidance on how to help your child that has been abused. Take it day by day.


I say wash the blanket so it loses his smell and she decides on her own that she doesn’t want it… cause if you give it to her and she realizes it’s not his smells she will toss it rather than you taking it from her… just kinda my thought process with like weaning from diapers and bottles putting water or cutting off the nipple my kids realized it wasn’t what they wanted and they got rid of it them selves… does that make sense. All prayers and good luck this is a long and hard road but you did what you needed to for your fam! Your are strong momma.


It’s a blanket. Let the baby sleep. Sounds like you have much bigger things to focus on. So sorry for your daughter.


Possible need to wash it, so it lose the smell. Let her let it go on her own… My heart goes out to you. I grew up being abused, and I understand what you’re feeling…

1 Like

Through that blanket away she will sleep with out it eventually.


I have no words but I will pray for you. He is lucky he’s in jail because I would have killed him


Id burn the blanket and thank my lucky stars the scumbags out your life. Your 2 month old will settle after a few days. Cant imagine how hard it is for you… x


It’s jist a blanket and I honestly doubt it’s smell. It’s more likely to be the feel of the blanket. Wash it and give it back to her.


Wait the 4 year old or the 2 month? If its the 2 month thats insane shes only 2 months just take it away . Shell get over it and wont remember . I think its u whos been affected the most


Toss it before she gets more emotional attached to it.

1 Like

I am sorry you and your babies are going through this❤ i say just get rid of it now, cold turkey, she will adjust at 2 months and be fine. Best of luck and prayers for y’all.

Make it her blanki what’s the problem; he is out of the picture!


Let her keep the blanket. It will hurt nothing. I have been in your shoes and my youngest was 18 months and has clear memories of him. Do not delete items out of her life that are attached to him. Allow her to. Even though she doesn’t understand now that is her only connection to her father, she may one day and if you take it she may fault you for that. While he needs no contact, it’s silly to throw something away that reminds YOU of her father. She will still have love for him and you need to allow her to feel how she wants without reservation so she can form her own opinion. At age 10, my daughter no longer speaks of her father and has formed her own opinion of him. Good luck to you and you are in my prayers


I agree with Rebecca Harris.

Whats wrong with her keeping the blankie if its her comfort?? Shes to little to understand.
Just try to help them heal i know this is probably a rough time.

1 Like

I’m sorry you are dealing with all of this it’s so hard I think you yourself should seek counseling to deal with the pain of what’s happening along with making sure your 4 year old is in some kind of therapy as well. If the blanket soothes baby I’d let her keep it. It doesn’t matter to her what her father has done she’s too young to understand anything right now. You need to make sure through this horrible time that you are using self care because if you don’t take care of you you can’t take care of those children and they need you most right now. Sending lots of hugs and prayers.

1 Like

Is there a chance that the smell of him is upsetting you every time your baby goes to sleep? It’s possible that your baby wants the blanket for the feel more than the smell. I’d say wash his smell out of the blanket and let your baby have it.


Just let her have the blanket. And don’t let him around her. That will be a conversation and possible therapy when she is way older.

1 Like

At 2 months, I doubt it will take too long for her to adjust to him being gone.


Who ever laughed at this is a piece of trash, sorry not sorry :woman_shrugging:t2::fu:t3:


Ditch it. Counseling for all including yourself it will be difficult if you still have feelings for this man


Uh you’re really worried about that when you should be worried about your 4 year old!!! Hope is she sleeping? Is she okay?!


I’d be worried about the 4 year old. Not the 2 month old. Shes little, shell forget.


Wash the blanket. I am sure it has more to do with the blanket than the smell of the blanket.


That is super disgusting to me. I would literally get rid of everything that guy has or owned.
My father sexually assaulted me when I was 5 and unfortunately I still remember bits and pieces of it. I remember the night, the cops.
He was released when I went to middle school.
I am praying for your daughter. I’m an adult now with 3 kids of my own and I hurt still from those memories!
Your baby will be okay. Try new things with her and give both those babies all the love and more!
My mom has done an amazing job on her own without my him. You will do great too just always put those kids first and never let him back into your life again! It’s going to be a long hard road but you can do it!


Your child your first concern believe me at age 4she will always remember what happened you need her conceiling and you to even tho you don’t think so you have things to deal with or it will eat at you my prayers are with you I do hope you get the answers you need

1 Like

Wtf :rage: who would put laugh faces on this, that’s just messed up,

Poor kids :persevere:


You need to get your 4 year old in intensive therapy NOW. Get rid of the damn blanket. Your 4 year old will remember what you did for her and you owe it to her to make sure she feels loved and secure. The infant won’t remember any of this and will eventually adjust.


You need to get the four year old in therapy and get full custody of them and never look back. You got this mama your stronger than you think.


Whoever left laughing reacts on here are sick fucks.


Give the baby the blanket. His smell will slowly fade out of it, weening her/him from the smell.

I’m truly sorry you and your baby are going through this


Wow who would laugh at such tragedy :face_with_symbols_over_mouth:


1st whoever laughed you’re a piece of shit
2nd I’m sure shes worried about her 4 year old so stop jumping her on it as shes probably looking for a way to ease some of the stress by the baby not sleeping. Shes having to focus on 2 kids who are struggling and asking for help to ease the stress on the lesser situation to put more focus on the larger situation. Cut her a break her plate is full right now trying to deal with the 4 year old and a baby. If she can take care of the lesser stress it will ease some of the stuff on her shoulders and 2nd she is mom she is gonna worry about both kids and the struggle on both, caring for BOTH kids in a situation is what a mother does.

Young lady I’m so Sorry for what your 4 year old has had to go through and what it has put you all into. I can only imagine the struggle and pain right now. Now if you (and I’m hoping you do) have a counselor or therapist for your 4 year old they should be able to give you some ideas for her to cope also. His smell will slowly go away off the blanket. Maybe every so many days add a tiny little dab of a perfume or something else so a new smell starts to build overtime and helps ease her off his smell. I wish I could help you so much more and I wish you the best of luck and healing to all of you in this time.


This are the people laughing!!! Dont see what is sp funny!! A horrible thing happened to this 4 year old. And as for thebtwo month old… She probably likes the blanket not the smell… And she is two months!!! Alot od two month olds dont sleep good

1 Like

Let her sleep with something that smells like him for the time being. Like Michelle L Mixon said the smell will slowly fade. I’m so sorry your going thru this. :heartbeat:

I am so sorry you and your children went through & are going through this. I will be praying for you.

Please do not take him back !! Let her keep the blanket for now

I think that the blanket is ok.for now she does not know what went on. Try holding her with another blanket.they are young enough to train

1 Like

It really sucks but you have to do whats best for the kids

Hey hun baby is too young to remember just throw it away! Its all in your head about the smell of him being what she wants but so sorry on what your going through and sending positive vibes your way <3


Do whatever works for you. Being a mom is not easy and especially with added issues. Do what helps and maybe find a nice stuffy she likes to help wing her off if you decide. Your amazing and your mom so you decide. :hugs:

I don’t think she should have ti be reminded of that pig i hope shes in therspt

Could it not be the blanket she has attatched too and not the smell either way as others have said I would leave her with it the smell will fade then if she’s still attatched to it u will no its blanket and not smell x

1 Like

Tough shit. Burn the blanket and prevent triggering your 4 year old. Baby will adapt quickly. You’ll probably have a week of crying but surely it’s worth it. It’s probably the blanket not the smell. Wash it!


Therapy, she is not to young to remember! We were in a a bad car accident my children were 4 and 5. They remember, and my son actually now suffers from PTSD. Get her some help!

Keep washing the blanket to get his smell out, but let her have it at night…

1 Like

blanket is a comfort to her for some reason, let her keep it and wash it , his smell will wash out

I had to put my baby in the swing and give him his blankie to hold until he falls asleep and then move him to the crib I know it’s not ideal but that was the only way to get him to sleep. As for his blanket I myself would just toss it get her a baby blanket with a similar textureI know everyone is saying she’s two months and she doesn’t know any better but my son is horrible to get to sleep when his dad is gone. Try rubbing her down with some lavender or chamomile lotion before bed