How can I get my 7-year-old to sleep in his own bed?

I have a 7 year old son who just won’t sleep in his bed. He has been like this since he was 4. I’ve done routines, new bedding even a new bed! I ask him why and he just says “because I love you and I’ll get scared” but he is gonna be in 2nd grade and I need my space as well. Help?!

56 Likes

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I get my 7-year-old to sleep in his own bed?

Try a night light and if that doesn’t work you can try to give him an incentive/reward for sleeping in his own bed

3 Likes

My daughter just turned 10 and she still won’t sleep in her room. She’s so scared for no reason. Got her a new TV, led lights, night lights, nothing works.

1 Like

You move him. Every time he comes to your room. You take him back to his.

1 Like

Nightlight or keep his bedroom light on…. My son is 6 and we have to keep his bedroom light on cause he is afraid of the dark even with a nightlight

1 Like

I bought my daughter the hatch rest + on amazon it’s a great transitional tool for them its a nightlight and plays music and its a 2 way radio so you can hear and talk to them and they can talk back it also has over 14 different colors and a built in alarm, my daughter loves it and won’t sleep without it.

4 Likes

Reassurance that your love surrounds the whole house and will be there in his bed. Maybe give him one of your pillows.

1 Like

I used to let my daughter watch tv then laid down with her for 20 minutes and then lessened the time every 5 minutes every week until I just stopped it was easier and work for her!

2 Likes

I moved mine to the couch in my room, then he’d go to sleep in my room on the couch and I’d put him in bed, then he’d go to bed in his own room and come to mine at night (if I noticed I’d put him back) and eventually he’d just go to bed on his own and stay there. One time I told him it was illegal for 7 yr olds to sleep in the parents room lol. Idk if he believed it or not but by 7 he was pretty much in his room lol.

4 Likes

I had this issue with my son. Turns out he just felt safer in my bed. So I said he could start in my bed and when I went to bed I would walk him to his bed. He couldn’t stay the whole night in my bed and if he got out of my bed, he would have to switch to his bed. He agreed to the rules and was happy. He started in my bed for several years.

2 Likes

My 7 year old is like this. He’s going into 3rd grade. I told him I’m going to get him a cot and he can sleep next to our bed.

I started letting my daughter do sleepover nights on weekends with me. She lays in bed with me and we watch her starry lamp and listen to music.

Its easy to get her to her own bed weeknights if she knows we do sleepovers

3 Likes

My son is 11 and still wants to sleep in my bed! He has his room lit up like noontime and still runs to me.

1 Like

Get Things that light up in the room. Every time he comes to your room walk him back to his and lay down with him in his bed.

Put a tv in his room? Or reward for sleeping in his bed! Weather it be a toy or a fun day out!

Idk my mom never figured it out. My sister got better about it around 14, but even at 21 before mom died she still had moments she needed to lay down with mom and feel safe.

Whatever you do just don’t punish him for it. All he wants is his mom and security so punishment is really inappropriate here. Incentive and redirection is probably what I’d keep trying. Have you tried laying in his bed until he falls asleep? I had to do that with my daughter when I first sleep trained her. Don’t know how well it would work on a 7 year old but it couldn’t hurt to try if you haven’t. You can also reach out to child behavioral specialists that offer parenting advice (I may be using the wrong words, but someone that specializes in children behavior in general) they may have some out of the box ideas.

2 Likes

My oldest is 21 and she still does this along with her sisters who are 20,19,15, and an 12. They all invade my bed individually and together. My 12 y/o used to sleep in my room up until she 8. She had a her bed in my room even though she had her own bedroom. She is disabled so I kept her in my room until I felt like she was ok to be in her own room. I think the key is to make sure that they understand when you need your own space but that they’re welcome to come in to bed with you if they’re not feeling well, need some time with you or an emergency if the scared or sick. Mine will always be welcomed in my bed no matter how old they get. If they need some time or attention or just to be made to feel better my door is open. I’ve raised them with an open door open heart open mind policy.

1 Like

My son was the same, he would sleep on my floor until he was 15

1 Like

Keep him close for as long as you can.when hes grown you are gonna miss it

8 Likes

Let your baby decide when his little heart :heart: is ready, and can handle it!!

2 Likes

When someone figures this one out, let me know. My 3 year old will start out in his bed, but ends up in mine. Sometimes I make a pallet for him beside my bed, and sometimes that works for him, sometimes not :woman_shrugging:

1 Like

Start out laying down in his room and when he passes out get up

4 Likes

Put him in his bed and reward him for staying in it.

My now 12 year old did this until she was 5, I broke her from it by having a “sleeping fairy” come only on nights she slept in her bed, I would get a box of junk from the dollar store, nothing too expensive. When she slept in her bed, she could pick a prize!

6 Likes

Start with the mattress in your room.
My almost 7yo is still in my bed. He just says he doesn’t like to sleep alone, which I totally understand.
So when he’s ready, he’s ready.

1 Like

Sooo sometimes mine still come to my bed and they are 15 and 12 but I got them in the habit of laying on the floor next to me or if they need to be closer then they ask to lay on the couch next to me. (We have an L shape couch)

Lie with him in his bed until he falls asleep

1 Like

Sound machine memory foam mattress pad and sit with him till he falls asleep

1 Like

just do it. let him scream cry have a fit. hell get over it

6 Likes

Idk I’m weird boy go to your room :joy::grimacing:

4 Likes

Lock him out of your room

7 Likes

Take him to his room, tuck him in, tell him to stay. When he comes back, get out of bed, take him back tuck him in. Keep doing it, it will eventually stick

5 Likes

Cherish it! He won’t be there forever and you will wish he was! He obviously needs something right now and sleeping with you is giving it to him.

11 Likes

Put his bed or a mattress right next to yours … You can rub his back or hold his hand while he falls asleep or you could start playing lullaby music while he adjusts to sleeping near you instead of with you … After a few months rearrange your room & put his mattress on the other side of the room / farther away & continue with playing lullabies … I coslept with all my kids … When I was getting near the arrival of baby #2 I got a “big boy bed” for him but he was in the same room … When baby #3 came along #2 joined older brother at opposite ends of the “big kid bed” … When #3 was about two I got a bunk bed with a fold out futon couch/ bed on the bottom - oldest on the top bunk & the two younger ones opposite ends of the bottom bunk … No one ever slept alone until they got a little older & actually needed some privacy & personal space :+1::blush:

2 Likes

Omg I feel you. Mine says if I’m not touching you I’ll have nightmares,

2 Likes

My 10 yr old son is a big momma’s boy. He was occasionally sleeping with me. It got where it was atleast 1-2 times a night. I got it where now he will sleep on the floor in the corner of our room. His dad couldn’t sleep in the bed with the both of us comfortably. My son is a squirmy, kick ya in the back type of sleeper. We would cuddle when you slept in our bed.

I say snuggle him :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:
Life is short and childhood shorter. He will want his privacy one day. Today he wants to snuggle.

13 Likes

Today i made $ 587 for doing work in part time. my friend has been making $ 18398 from this and she convinced me to try so i am now making more than her. its amazing.

Open this>>> https://supercashincome129.pages.dev/

There are two schools of thought on this. Kids are young for such a short time. Let him stay with you and cherish the cuddles. It will happen so soon that affection from you will embarrass him. You’ll go from mommy to mom to bruh. At least my daughter did till she insisted on going back to mom. Lol. The other school of thought is to keep taking him back to his own bed till he gives up and stays there, and probably cries himself to sleep. Personally, I’d go for choice number one. But you have to do what’s right for you.

6 Likes

Why do so many people seem to think mums should give up every right to any kind of alone time? Unless sleeping with you is helping a past trauma, then you deserve your space. Boundaries with your children are healthy. If you’re not meeting your needs you are unable to meet everyone else’s needs proficiently. Find what works for you and get that beauty sleep. Doesn’t mean kiddo has to feel unloved, you can do whatever makes kiddo feel safe before you sleep separately

19 Likes

We kept a small loveseat in our bedroom. If the kids had a bad dream, they were welcome to sleep on it. Our bed was not large enough to add a kid to it, so we did not allow the kids to get into bed with us.

2 Likes

Let him watch TV in his room tuck in and let him fall asleep to it.
I’m an adult and I still can’t sleep by myself unless I have a TV on :sweat_smile: low sound but still on. My parents did that for me and they tried an automated timer to shut off the TV but I would always wake up.
My oldest is the same, but she shares a room with my middle now and she sleeps better.
Honestly I’ve been like that ever since I can remember, some people just don’t like to sleep alone. I know for me my thoughts just wonder and if I do fall asleep it isn’t a restful one.
Either sleeping with someone else, or with a TV is the only way I’m able to sleep comfortably.

1 Like

It’s hard but if you are really committed to making him sleep in his own bed after all this time, the only way is to take him by the hand and put him back in his own bed, be very quiet and do not really talk, just tuck him back in and go back to your room. You must do this every time he gets back up and comes into your bed, as many times as it takes. Even if it’s 100 times, you need to wear him out and out will him.

8 Likes

You are gonna have a few rough nights but you just have to make him stay in his room

1 Like

Let him know he is getting older both need space and tell him you can hVe sleep overs one a week maybe Friday or Sunday one week he sleeps with young t week you sleep with him

1 Like

Why do we expect kids to sleep alone? Do adults sleep alone? NO! MOST sleep with their spouse. Kids don’t want to be alone. My 6 yr old has his own bed in my room. We’ll be moving to his own room soon and he’s really excited to be able to decorate it with Minecraft stuff.

7 Likes

What is he scared of?

2 Likes

Mattress on the floor

2 Likes

I had night terrors as a kid and would crawl into bed with my parents up til I was 12.
My son was the same way, but thankfully I broke him of it last summer because he’s a bed hog and I’m too old to be getting kneed and elbowed all night lol
I let him look around on Amazon and pick a nightlight that he liked and wanted. Once he got comfortable he quit waking up and tells me “I don’t know why I didn’t do this sooner I sleep so much better”.
Sometimes I think they don’t realize they can do it until it actually happens.

1 Like

Supernanny has a technique for this. It’ll be rough at first, so start on a Friday night. But it’s effective.

There are professional sleep trainers that do so without CIO. They can write up a plan and help you. I used a non CIO method one when my oldest was younger. It worked well. He was 5 and has ASD.

Time to put your foot down

2 Likes

Maybe get him a cool nightlight? Ask him if he’s scared of monsters and make a ‘monster spray’ with him and spray the closet and under the bed

3 Likes

Some of these answers are so idiotic. Insinuating that she should be firm or stand up to her child or use some sort of discipline with him to resolve this is disgusting.
Most adults don’t like sleeping alone, some do, but most don’t. Children are no different.
We don’t know if he’s suffering from nightmares or night terrors.
Maybe he’s cold in his room.
Maybe he’s scared of sounds or things that look scary in the dark.
What I would suggest, is do a step down.
Bring his bed or mattress into your room and let him sleep in the room on his own bed and see how he does, if that works for a few months then move it to his room and you sit with him while he falls asleep and hope he stays if you need the space.
Just please don’t make going to bed and wanting to be comforted the subject of a power struggle or negative experience for your child.

16 Likes

With my 6 year old I have a spray bottle monster spray (with water in it) to spray anywhere she thinks there’s a monster. And I tell her if she gets scared then she can come sleep with mommy.

We did a sticker chart and, it took a while, but it worked!:star2:
My four year old woke up crying, however, the first morning she realized she was still in her own bed and not ours. After I comforted her and congratulated her for being such a big girl, she smiled and put up her sticker. That did it!:relaxed:

Good luck on that lol. I have two 9 years and almost 6 year old that always sleeps in my bed lol. I can’t keep them in their own beds.

If he’s saying he’s scared there could be something that he sees but you can’t. Young children are more opt to seeing sprits and demons because of their pure innocent souls. Honestly get some holy water. Make it into a game for him. And label it monster spray and have him spray it all over his room. Then when he’s at school call a priest to have him/her to bless the house. Also when he’s at school say these words throughout the house “any spirits that may be in here you are not welcomed. You must leave. By the power of God I command you to leave and you may never return to any home that me or my family may live in.” Hope this helps mamma

2 Likes

Stay in his room with him til he falls asleep for a few nights and when he falls asleep leave…and in the morning praise him for sleeping in his own bed

Tell him straight out he needs to sleep in his own room he is 7 years old and too old to be sleeping with mom. Put a night light in his room maybe even some white noise, and you can even try reading a story before bed. Have him get in bed and sit next to him and read a book before he goes to sleep. I didn’t get my son to start sleeping in his own bed until he was 4 but that was my fault I let him sleep with me his whole life until then. You can maybe even try talking to his pediatrician maybe he/she can recommend some things.

I read mine a story, let him pick out any stuffed animals he wants in bed with him & then I turn the tv on iheart radio & let him listen to the music while he sleeps, also bright night lights.

My son is the same way! Either get a bigger bed or a dog for him to snuggle lol my Philosophy is they will grow out of it when they are ready. I’m assuming you’re a single mom and it’s kind of just normal for our sons to want to be there for us and essentially protect us and feel protected. 

3 Likes

U should’ve never even started that sh÷÷…like that’s so not ok & so unhealthy

3 Likes

My daughter since she was born sleeps with me. around 7 yrs old I bought a small bed it was like a toddler mattress and I would put it next to me on the floor sometimes she would also make like a bed on the closet and stay there. I personally wouldn’t just make him just sleep right way , you need to make the transition smoothly … when she turned 8 I decorated her room how she wanted It got her a loft bed , some led lights and at age 9 we painted her room turquoise , she started sleeping in her own bed own room at age 10lol. She’s 11 and sometimes sleeps with me or in the closet lol… I have two boys who are 3 and 5 and sleep with me and my husband . I don’t mind. Mind you they have a room and beds lol. I will never make them sleep by themselves if they’re not ready.

1 Like

We just gave our boy no other option. It sounds harsh, but it’s worked amazingly. We let him know we love him and are here for him, but that it’s time for everyone to go to bed. He will bang and hit on the door. We firmly tell him that this behavior is unacceptable and tuck him back into bed. And he will usually go right to sleep. We do let him watch a movie before bed. And will leave his door cracked so he doesn’t feel trapped. And most of the time he won’t even watch the show and will just roll over and go to bed.

I had the same issue with my son. I asked his therapist for advice and she suggested telling him that if he wanted to sleep in my room he had to sleep on the floor. One night of that and he never asked to sleep with us again, he was 5 at that time.