How to get nine years old out of our bedroom! I’ve literally tried everything. Sensory toys, weighted blankets, essential oils, melatonin, and nothing works. This all stemmed from a scary story her friends told her two months ago, and ever since, she has ended up in our room. I’m at a loss as to what to do.
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Tell her to get out of your room.
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Lock your door. My kids dad had to do that to his youngest kid. He slept on the floor a few times right outside the door but eventually just went back to his bed after awhile. She’ll be fine and will get past it
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If she’s having bad dreams try a dream catcher and a night light
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What was the scary story? Was it monsters, kidnapping, etc?
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Be firm. Tell her she is too old to be sleepinv with you. Remind her everything is ok. I would also reassure her in anyways you can. I would tell her to go back to her bed everytime she tries to come into your bed.
Umm, or just be there for your traumatized child. She isn’t going to be scared when she’s 20 and isn’t even sleeping under the same roof anymore, so enjoy the fact that she needs you while it lasts.
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Try a radio with one of her favorite stations to sleep to at night 
I put a dream catcher in my daughters room and it works. She’s 3 and I tell her she has to take deep breaths to relax and think of what makes her happy for the dream catcher to work. If she ever has a bad dream I tell her it must need a cleaning and I’ll just like brush it off and tell her it’s ready to go.
My other advice would be to just comfort your child. They are scared. This won’t last forever. And it could be the mere feeling of knowing that you’re there for them and understand their feelings that makes them comfortable to sleep on their own again.
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Let her stay til she feels better.
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Make a “boogy man” spray… Get a squirt bottle from walmart, little glitter, water and a little of perfume… Have her spray it wherever she feels scared at and tell her it gets bad dreams away… It worked when mine was 7-8… good luck!
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You spend a couple full nights in her room on an air mattress or roll away or 2nd bed. Then you get up after she falls asleep a few nights, if she comes to get you in the middle of the night you go back to her room and sleep on the rollaway. Then get some walkie talkies and spend the night apart so she can reach you but the deal is absolutely no getting out of bed. Eventually, she will realize she doesn’t need you.
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If she’s scared to be alone why would you want her to be alone? You are her parent her protector and you don’t want to just let her sleep in your room til she feels safe? It won’t last forever she won’t always be scared. My kids always come to bed with me if they have a nightmare or if they just cant sleep w.e. Just be there for her.
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I was terrified of ghosts and scary story’s as a child. I always snuck in to sleep with my kom at that age. It was traumatizing to be turned away. I would comfort her and try to gradually get her back into her room. Night lights are a must! Maybe try staying with her in her room until she falls asleep.
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Unpopular opinion loading… let’s unpack the problem with her being in your room.
Is it because you want privacy for intimacy?
Is it because you feel she needs to get over whatever is scaring her?
Are you sick of cosleeping?
I ask bc if you get the root of why it’s bothersome to you, you’re more equipped to rationally handle the issue.
Many parents are sitting here thinking, why wouldn’t you cuddle her and reassure your child when they are afraid?
Many others are thinking - who’s the parent here? If you want her out, put her out.
There’s no right answer. But getting to the root of WHY is a good first step.
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Sometimes therapy helps with these kinds of things. My husband got sick in the middle of the night when he was little and was scared to sleep for some time after that, fearing he’d end up waking up sick like he did before. He finally did some counseling sessions and it went away. He still remembers it, too. His breakthrough happened drawing a picture with the therapist.
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Monster spray. Look it up on pinterest.
Your kid is scared and traumatized and you’re worried about getting her out of your room? Honey, that ain’t it. 
unresolved trauma can have psychological effects. Be there to comfort her. Period.
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How long was it for you after you saw Psycho or Night of the Living Dead ? It takes time. She’s only 9.
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Suck it up and enjoy it while you can because soon enough she is going to be a teenager and not want to be around you.
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Sort of a similar situation myself with my son when he was 8. His friend decided to tell him that E.T was under his bed. For 6 months waking up screaming and wanting to stay in my room. So I pondered on how I can fix this. So I decided the best option was to remove his bed frame for awhile so his box spring and mattress was on the floor. Did that for a while and he realized that nothing was there. So I put the frame back and he was good to go. Im thinking if you can figure out just one thing related to what she was told and eliminate it some how may work. My son literally thought I squished E.T under his and I killed him. Process of elimination I guess.
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Enjoy while you can They outgrow it. it’s a stage in life.
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Put lights on in there room at night
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What i am curious about is what was the scary story she was told? Once u know that, breakdown the story to where it doesn’t sound so scary.
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Why not try lying in her bed with her until she falls asleep? Or even talking to her about a time you were afraid and how you personally got over it.
I understand wanting your privacy or your bed back, but for something to go on this long, I’m sure it has deeply effected your child.
As a parent, we make our own rules for our household. Showing that you have authority over your child is not going to make her get over her fears faster and may have negative results in your relationship with her.
Talk with her. Have her tell you why she’s afraid and help her rationalize.
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Just tell her to go back to her room. If you wake up in the middle of the night and see her lying there wake her up and send her back to her bed.
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I’ve always found it odd that as adults, we crave comfort and security in another when sleeping, but expect children to stay alone and sleep by themselves when afraid in order to teach them to “self sooth.”
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Don’t just put her back in her room, she’s scared and she needs to learn coping skills, go about it a different way
Comfort her , she is scared! They are only little for a little while. Sending her back to her room will only make it worse. She needs to feel safe and you are obviously her safe place !
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Bribe her with Robux 
It worked at our house. And to keep her in there she has to sleep in her own bed until Jan 1st like a big girl and she will get her “dream come true”…an iPad 
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Lol Best of luck to you, mama. My oldest slept in our room until… maybe 2 years ago? She’s 12. And sometimes she still wants to “camp out” in my room and grabs her fold-out cot for camping and puts in in my floor lol My 2 year old sleeps in my room but in her own bed. Part of it, I think, is that my husband has always worked nights. When he’s not here, we all like being together in one room. I mean, it doesn’t bother me so I’m no help lol I’ve always liked us being close at night. I sleep better with them near me.
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Night light, or even let her leave her light on. Maybe a sound machine to help sooth her, you can also even try putting a small TV in her room and let her leave it on low for sound background noise but also give her some melatonin so she won’t be up all night watching the TV.
If she’s scared try talking about what she’s scared of and figuring out a way to make it not scary and explain to her it’s not real just scary stories. My daughter would be scared but I keep a tv in her room and it works as a night light and I keep it on all night for her. It helps
Try this. Best “night light” ever. She can change the colors to whatever she wants, it’s soothing, comforting, and just awesome. Worth a try, at least, to make her room a comforting place again 
and it’s a cool distraction.
My kids love theirs, and it’s now the number 1 thing I get for my friends kids (ranging from 3 to 12)
I was afraid of the dark well into my teenage years. And I was harshly reprimanded for it. My thing was regardless if I had seen a horror movie or not, I always ran up the hallway, even with nightlights. If all the doors were shut, then I was fine. But I would get in trouble for being scared, and I would be made to go all the way into the back and walk slowly up. And let me tell you, it didn’t work to ease my fear. Make sure you don’t make her feel bad for feeling scared, because obviously it’s had an impact on her. Mine stemmed from a scary movie I watched when I was 6. And it never helped when people started jumping out and scaring me or telling me I was being a baby and to get over it. I’d say definitely comfort her. Even if you feel like it’s “taking forever” or “she should be over it”, comforting is the first step. Maybe sit in her room until she falls asleep…or let her fall asleep in your bed and then move her to her bed.
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Give her time. Let it run it’s course & let her know you’re always “protecting” her. Help her fight her fear instead of being ready to boot her out of your room.
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Following because I have the same issues with my 9 year old son! Every morning he is in my bed. He is very stealthy and I don’t even hear him climbing in the bed anymore.
Try “Monster away Spray”. Fill a bottle up with water and glitter and let her spray it through the room. No more monsters 
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I’m thankful for my parents, I was very fearful of someone breaking in, so I slept on there bedroom floor and held my dads hand to go to sleep, they never kicked me out or said anything, I just outgrew it… just comfort her until she gets through it…
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Therapy. Best thing ever for my daughter. I couldn’t convince her anything besides HER reality. It doesn’t make sense to us but to her it’s real. They taught her coping mechanisms and how your brain can overreact and tell your brain it’s okay, it’s just a story, etc. and also the nightlight, weighted blanket, noise machine, melatonin to help her get sleepy.
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Give her time and you have got some good suggestions. If you have a family pet, maybe let it sleep with her. Pets can do wonders for children.
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U tell her those monsters aren’t coming cause they are scared under their beds cause momma coming for them
And monsters don’t like mommy’s they are very scared of them
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I allow my 9 year old to leave pbs kids at a low volume on her tv while she falls asleep she learns so much & knows that if she trys to stay up late I will turn it off. Kids are people and their feelings matter.
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Shes only 9 leave her be ffs
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As an almost 30 yr old who still clearly remembers being that terrified 9yr old… Let her in your room, or go lay with her in hers…she’ll eventually go back to her own room. She feels safe with you.
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Depends what the story was and what in it scared her
If it was say monsters or something that comes out at night
Make monster spray (water and and essential oil in a spray bottle) for her to spray around the room before bed so the monster stays away ,if it’s the dark maybe a nice night light or you can get globears that light up and just let her know that mummy is always their to protect her and she can always come to you when she is scared or worried right now she’s overthinking what ever scared her I’m sure it will run its course and she will forget soon enough
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Laura Beth Sears ditto. Mine is 13 now and I wish she would spend enough time with me to be in my room. I promise they out grow it and then they’re just GONE. EMBRACE this time. Bedtime is the best time for conversations and bonding. Not what u wanted to hear, I know. No one likes to sleep alone…especially traumatized children
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Lock your door. Problem solved
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Try a few nights sleeping in her room with her, with the TV on, then after a few nights when she falls asleep you can get up and go back to your room… Show her there’s nothing to be afraid of in her room.
- monster (insert scary creature) away spray. Take a air freshener can. Make a new label. Put the label on the can.
- walkie talkies. It gives her communication to you without having to be in your room. Just make sure you reply when she talks to you. Eventually the fear will decrease when she realizes there’s nothing to be scared of.
- nightlight. We got our boys one that plays music and projects moving stars onto the walls and ceilings.
- watch sci-fi show where they do the movie makeup together (if the story was about a monster)
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We put ours to bed in their room. We’ll lay in there with them until they’re asleep. We leave a nightlight on in their room and one in the hallway to our room. If they wake up and climb in bed with us, one of us will go back to their room and start the process over. Most nights they don’t wake at all, but once in awhile they do, but now they just wake us and ask if we’ll go lay with them in their beds. At first it was pretty much every night. We ended up sleeping in there a few times. Lol but patients was for the win with us. We try to tell happy stories before bed and reassure them that we’re always there if they need us. My 17 year old will still come and wake me if she’s feeling a little scared. Sometimes they just need to know we’re there no matter what time it is. A little reassurance and a few minutes to talk out what scared her and she’s back to bed. I called my grandma many times in the middle of the night when I first moved out on my own and every time she answered. A parents job is never ending no matter how old our babies are. 
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Leave all the light on in the house, let her fall asleep on the couch to a movie. Obviously something cute and cuddly, eventually it will work itself out. My oldest had terrible night terrors when he was younger didn’t get him out of my bed till he was almost 8. Any time he had an episode after that’s what worked for him
Go to her room and lay with her instead of letting her stay in the room with you and keep talking to her about how it was just a story and not real
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When my boys wouldn’t sleep in their rooms I would lay with them or sit next to their bed. (I am pretty small at 4’11”) I would read a book to them with the light on then I would turn it off and sing to them, looking back I sucked but it was still comforting to them because I’m momma.
When I was little and was scared I would always have a stuffed animal near me, that helped a lot.
Reassure her that the story wasn’t true and that you are there for her. It will take time for sure. Best of luck.
I took a frebreeze Spray and made a “monster away” label and put doctors directions on it. I said the doctor prescribed it and I would spray it for her every night b4 bed. And sit it next to her bed for her. I told her no monsters can come anywhere near this room now. It’s the best stuff there is. It ended up working! Lol maybe try something like that but with whatever she is scared of.
go sleep in her room with her
Stop putting oils on your kids and expecting anything but a rash to happen.
Talk about the event that scared her, let her re tell it to stop giving it power. she needs understand why she felt fear at that time when the story was told and why she doesn’t need to feel fear all the time just because of that event. (Learned this from the book The Whole Brain Child) ← literally a game changer i suggest this book to every parent ever to help understand not only your kids brains but also your own and why they do or think they way they do at all different ages & development stages