How Can I Get My Boyfriend's Mom to Accept Me?

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QUESTION:

"Me and my boyfriend have been living together for a year now and we’ve been together almost two years. His mom hates me and doesn’t think that I’m good enough for him. I’ve tried to bond with her but nothing works and she views me as nothing but a toy to him. It doesn’t help that my boyfriend is a huge mommas boy to the point where he doesn’t listen to me at all he had to ask his mom to “confirm” I’m right about everything. A little story for reference, one day she came by the house and waited outside the door to listen to us as we were arguing (we didn’t know she was outside) and when he walked her outside after the visit she told him that I needed to respect him more. We were arguing about him quitting his job when we didn’t have the money saved up at the time for him to transition to a different one. This woman has no respect or boundaries for our relationship and he just lets her get away with it and I’m so tired of it. His sister on the other hand loves me and is so nice and supportive she’s the only reason I haven’t left the situation yet I feel like I can’t handle the drama anymore and it’s only gonna get worse as time goes on. How can I get her to accept me?"

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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):

The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.

"My mother in law didn’t always like me. We always got in to it always bumped heads but as time went on we got extremely close and she became my 2nd mother and she would take my side over her sons. Just takes time. Just stand your ground show her your not going any where! It’s been two years almost since my mother has passed and I miss her everyday! Before she passed away she told me how lucky she was to such a great daughter in law and that she couldn’t have picked someone better for her baby. And like I said I swear she couldn’t stand stand me for the first few years."

"Run. moms always gonna be an issue. She’ll never accept you. save yourself anymore time & heartbreak."

"If he is a mama boy he’s not going to change. Accept it or leave. Probably going to get worst. If I were you I would pack my bags."

"She’s toxic. You dont need her approval and very well may never have it cuz she sounds horrid. Just keep doing you. Try not to have her actoons phase or stunt you."

"Dont stay just because of the sister. Run away as fast as you can. Once a mamas boy always a mamas boy."

"It’s the worst when you are with a mama’s boy you will never be number 1 , find someone who respects u fully and loves his mom but at a disdtsnce, and that accepts u."

"You can’t. To her, no one will ever be good enough. Personally, I’d have words with my son respecting his girl if he ran to me over every fight. He’s an adult, he should act like it."

"This is my opinion, there are so many other wonderful men out there, I’d drop him. You aren’t in a relationship with him. You are dating both of them. Can you imagine if we’re married to him and then had children. She would be a nightmare and he would run to his mom every time there was an issue."

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