Hello mommies, I’m looking for some advice. I’m a little desperate. So in August, I start a program to become an RN; I’m going from being a stay-at-home mom of three (4, 3, and 1-year-olds). My older two are fine being away from me, but my 1-year-old (almost 14 months in a few weeks) has a super hard time. He is still breastfeeding two times during the day, but he eats table food with great no issues. The problem is he only wants me. No one else can soothe him; when I leave, he just cries and cries, doesn’t matter if it’s with family or his dad and siblings. He and his daddy have a wonderful relationship, but still, he only wants me. We’ve tried the daycare at the gym; he barely lasts 20 minutes, going to a buffet, he cries just when I go get food really quick. I don’t know what to do. He is a great, smart, sweet baby, so I hate seeing him so upset, but I don’t know what else to do. I don’t want to wait another year for the nursing program; I’ve already waited four years. I’ve got a scholarship now even. But I have classes two days a week for 4 hours each, then every other weekend labs/clinics up to 12 hours. I don’t know how to get him more prepared I get so anxious about all of this. Also, side question, anyone has meal prep recipes easy for daddies when I am gone for clinical?
Start going away slowly, leave for 1 hour at a time 2 days, whatever the days that line up with for your nursing program, then gradually go up to the 4. It’ll be an adjustment but he’ll get used to it!
I would try instead of you leaving, start with him leaving you. Have Dad take him to run to the grocery store or something. Bring toys with him or Dad even take him to pick out a new toy. Little small trips at first, then slowly start leaving on small trips yourself. You definitely are going to have to slowly adjust him. Good Luck!
Have small outtings for the person or person’s that will be with him to go on without you. Like the park to play with the siblings. Since school starts in August this needs to be daily. Then set up activities done in home and you leave start out 1 hour and build time daily. This will be hard but necessary for the both of you. Good luck and God bless.
Yeah I agree to get him out of the home so he’s not expecting you.
Take him to a babysitter or daycare or errands with Daddy, have a play date or go to the park etc.
This should start helping him eventually get used to time away from Mom where you can leave him for half a day.
Practice. Spend a little bit of time away each day and then increase the time.
Leave him an item that smells like you and just keep on telling you’ll be back, he is safe and he will adjust
My daughter was the same way. I messed up with her by trying to sneak away and she started to not trust me so then I started telling her bye mommy will be right back give her hugs and kisses and telling her I love her and now she is more comfortable with goodbyes
There’s no way around it unfortunately. I was in the RT program for 2 years. My son was 4 when I started and 6 when I finished. Those two years are gone and will forever be gone. I feel guilt that I missed so much but we have a better life now because of it. My son is now 15 and I still tear up about it. My daughter is now 17 but she’s always been independent. It’s a sacrifice we have to make but unfortunately our whole family has to also sacrifice. When I was done with the program, I would get up to go to the bathroom and my kids would question me where I was going and if I’m coming back. You will have to be very strong and determined. These programs are intense and to really make it, school must come before kids and family. I had to work while I was at school and their dad had moved to Texas. I literally went to school and worked having zero days off for two years. Any school breaks I had to pick up extra shifts to make ends meet. I don’t wish that on anyone’s kids. Just remember you are doing this for them. Once an RN, you can work once or twice a week and still bring home a great income. Your children are small and won’t remember. Keep your eye on the prize and when the guilt sets in remember why you started.
Start now on the days you have class leave for an hour ,when you come back tell him how proud,happy you are of him next week be gone a little longer
Stop breast feeding him. I’m a nurse and u can only miss so many hours before your kicked out. Nursing school is very hard so be prepared
Do it over a slow process just for your own mind aswell
But leave before he can see you /wakes up
This worked for me and worked for so many others
Leaving him with Dad is great
If he see’s you he will want to be with you
On the first few times get dad to do really exciting and fun stuff Best distraction
Good luck it will all work out
Sounds weird but, train him.
Pack your work/study things get dressed and go out the door wait 1 minute then walk back through the door. The next day pack your things go out the door wait 2 minutes then go back in. It starts to build he’s confidence that you are coming back. Increase the minutes per day. I had to do it with my son. He was fine around the 2 weeks mark.
He’ll be ok eventually. But start off having daddy take him to fun activities alone for short periods and get him used to being away from you.
Get the book “kissing hands”
I had the same experience with my little one after I started my nursing training! Trust me it gets easier my husband takes her on trips! They will go to the beach or even visit her Granny! She’s turning 4 and sometimes I just leave her something that smells like me!
He will.get used to it.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I get my child being okay with me being gone?
My best advice is to just go. He’ll adjust in due time. I had to do that with my now 4 year old and 2 year old. It’s really harder on us than them. They’ve adjusted fine over the last few years with different schedule changes and still get super excited when I come home from work and that melts my heart every time 
Maybe you could start running errands without him, it would help him understand that you always come back. My 5 year old is like that. He doesn’t even want to go to school. He is his momma’s baby. 
I try to leave him at home to go do stuff but I feel so guilty 
.
Heard if u have a shirt with ur scent might help.
he will get use to it will probably be bad couple weeks but after that he will realise your coming back think more hard on us seeing them upset
No advise, but your not alone my 14 month old is exactly the same. She cries at the baby gate if I just go for a wee it upsets me to see her so upset x
Separation anxiety. It’s not something that u can just stop in my opinion
It’s so hard. But they do adjust. May take a bit longer than a few times. They do adjust. Some children are just that way. My son was the same. Eventually it was no problem at all. By the time we hit kindergarten and I thought he would have a hard time. He just took off with a wave and had a great time. He never liked being to far away from as a child . He’s very much a small group of people person. He’s 35. It’s so hard they seem so distressed. But I promise it’s okay and healthy normal process for some children. Prayer and congratulations on your new adventure in life.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I get my child being okay with me being gone?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I get my child being okay with me being gone?
Don’t stop the program. The baby will be fine.
Maybe don’t have him as much while you’re home with dad and other kids so he know that he’s fine with being with other people.
Because he smell you , so give him a t-shirt of yours and he will be ok.
I would try a quick “I love you, hugs!” Then have baby distracted with a walk outside or with bubbles while you quietly make your exit. If the good byes are long and drawn out it makes the littles more upset. Good luck in nursing school.
Hamburger helpers daddy’s best friend…and for the little guy.Just say I have to go I promise to come back.And go…Give him rewards for good behavior but don’t reward crying.
Could always face time daily
I am a great grandma and from my experience with children he will get used to you being gone it may take a few days but he will be okay… don’t worry about him shedding tears…
I have heard leave a bit of your clothing so when he feeds he can still smell you .But they dont cry for to long .
The hardest part is listening to him cry when you leave. I went through this many, many years ago. Your child will always want to be with you until they find and understand you will be back. Don’t be discouraged. Remember, you are doing this for Your FAMILY’S future. He will be proud of you. It will also build his social skills.
You need a very patient babysitter who will work with him. Don’t post pone your dreams. This too, shall pass.
Wear a soft T shirt for a day. When he gues poor it closer to his face so he can smell you on it. It works.
Dont stay longer or linger. Say bye, give kisses and leave. It makes it worse if u linger longer.
Living in the bush I would drop my son off at kindy while I did the shopping - when I left I would show him on the toy clock what time I would be back - then show him the big clock on the wall. I made sure I was back at that time and after a while I had pleas for just a bit more Mummy! Perhaps bush kids are more independent.
Meal prep ideas: on your days off, cook as much as you can. Make mac and cheese, spaghetti, lasagna, chicken, anything he will eat. Freeze it so dad just has to take it out in the morning, let it th haw and then nuke it.
Just go. Or you never will. It will take time but it will happen.
Remember to be Strong. But its hard to do.
You need to do this for your future and your families. Crock pot always for easy meals can do over nite or early morning let cook five or six hrs
My daughter was the same way when i started work and put her in day care. The day care suggested that i make a little photo album for her to take to school with pictures of me and her. And they would talk with her and tell her im working and i love her and will be back as soon as im off of work. They told me it really helped when she brought the pictires.
record/film yourself telling a series of story so that when you leave it can be played to the child and calm them.
My youngest had seperation issues with their big brother when he went to school. Honestly sometimes you just have to let them adjust to your absence and your return… If it goes on longer than a few weeks though I would consult a specialist in the matter. You’ll get too many varied opinions online…
It would be a great idea for you to find a provider now … take the kids 2 times a week n be there with them …. Then take them there n go shopping or just go home for a few hrs but when you do it do it at the same time as best as you can so a routine can be developed… when a routine is developed he knows your coming back …. You just got to be tough on the outside n him know it even though it’s breaking your heart… we’ve all done it … That’s why it’s called “the toughest job in the world that you will love the most”
Give you baby a shirt of yours to hold on to . or a small blanket that has your sent on it. .ive heard that calms a baby down being able to feel like their mom is there with them. Good luck. Hope this idea works
before you go to school stop feeding him that will help some
I’m 67. Left mine for nursing school. There isn’t a price you can put on being with your childs God given need for you. I cant go back. Just being truthful. I fully understand a women needing to further herself. Do it with more on line classes. There will always be nursing scholarships. Even more in the future. They are desperate!! No way I would up taking care of other people again minus my crying baby. Your baby will be 3 soon and understand and be like your others. We nurses tend to have to give disease to the detriment of our families.
You can buy cushions with your face printed them.
Following because my baby is doing the same thing!
Follow the_girl_named_max on Instagram for all development norms
He will get used to it.
Hmmm Laura Frances Kay
Beware of daughters taking pics.
My little brother was the same when he was a toddler. We’re 11 years apart. When he would go to his grandmothers he would cry for atleast an hour when my mom dropped him off. At first I would accompany him and most times that didn’t help but he would eventually stop crying and let other people soothe him. As time went on I stopped going over with him and he went through the same crying fit but eventually the duration became less and less until he was perfectly fine being dropped off. Can’t remember how long it lasted but he was always safe with family so there was no worries at all. Sometimes they just need to cry it out at first. Best of luck
Need to break him from breastfeeding, you are his pacifier.
Aww I have 5 grown children when they were youngsters I only had a problem with my 4th child. Whenever I’d leave he scream bloody murder he would even hold his breath. I was at a loss and was terrified and felt guilty for leaving him especially when he held his breath. He was barely two I also had a one yr. old but none of my other kids had separation anxiety like Joshua. He finally out grew his anxiety & tantrums and now he is a grown man, but is still very attached to me and a Mama’s boy. Lol but you didn’t hear it from me… Miss those days 
Sometimes it helps if they have something of yours that they can cuddle up to
I had, and still have, separation anxiety and I’m 31. My mom was CONSTANTLY around me. What helped was bribery. Can you bribe him with something? Cookies, McDonald’s, a toy?? Maybe a trip to the park? My mom also used to do short spurts, and gradually increase the time. First it was 5 minutes, then 10, then 20, then 30. She set a timer and told me when it buzzes, mommy will be back with a special treat. She’d also get my grandmother to distract me so she could sneak out.
As to meal prep: cook as much as you can on your days off. It’s also ok if your kids eat pancakes or eggs for dinner one or two nights a week. My niece went through a phase where she ate hot dogs 3x a day ( she ate other things, but honestly I wasn’t fighting. It’s better than starving her).