How do you get your child through homework without the daily temper tantrums? I’m so over homework time. I am not one of those parents who believes kids should not have homework. My child has learning difficulties, and we use homework time basically as extra practice for the things she learned in school. She did fine with it all last year, but this year, it’s been a complete battle. And I’m reaching a point where if she doesn’t want to do it, fine. But when you fail, I won’t care, because it’s your fault you failed. Consequences of your actions. It sounds harsh and cruel, but at the end of the day, I can’t physically make her do her homework, and I’d rather sit down with the other child who is motivated and wanting to do hers. Everyday, it’s…“It’s not fair my sister doesn’t have to do homework.” And I explain that when her sister gets older and eventually starts school, she’ll have to do homework too. “Nobody loves me.” "If you cared about me, I wouldn’t have to do my homework."The back talking. The never ending ridiculous comments. The constant daily temper tantrums. I’m so over it to the point where I don’t care if my child passes or fails. I just don’t. We’ve tried a reward system. We tried putting her into her room until her tantrum was over. We tried doing one problem at a time with multiple breaks in between. We tried giving a break between school and home. We even went as far as asking what would be easier for HER, and even caving and doing what she wants doesn’t help. Nothing helps, and I’m over it. Fail for all I care. And at the end of the day, when you don’t achieve anything later on, it’ll be your fault. How do you get your child passed the aggravation of nonstop temper tantrums and just getting them to do their homework? On the rare, and I mean maybe twice a semester, she comes home and actually does her homework without the tears, she grasps the concepts better and passes her tests. 99% of the time, it’s just spelling words she loses her mind over. We get 10-12 a week, so we write 3-4 a night. This way it breaks it down into a smaller amount Monday-Wrdnesday, and then on Thursday, she just writes the ones she doesn’t remember how to spell. And she only writes them on 3 lines. So it’s not like she’s being given hours upon hours of homework. 99% of the time, every single night, it’s writing spelling words she loses her mind over. The easiest thing in the world, and that’s what causes the mitigated tantrums. And I just don’t care anymore. Sorry it’s long, but my God! Just write the freaking words. What do you do if your child refuses to do their homework? Or screams their head off every single night?
Does she have to turn in the written words? If not, maybe try a different approach on learning them…instead of writing them have her type them out, post them around an area of the home and randomly ask her how do you spell “whatever word”. Make it a game…don’t give up, Momma. Don’t discourage her, encourage her.
No offense but I think it’s you. I could’ve written the post myself, my daughter has a hard time with math. Her teacher recommended after school tutoring, but due to transportation issues we couldn’t do it. Her teacher sends extra worksheets during the week that we use as practice work. Dad had to start calling every day at his work lunchtime to help her do homework because she reacted different to him than she did to me, regardless of what I tried or how I did it. It works better for everyone this way. Nobody’s mad or frustrated when dad calls to help.
My recommendations would be find a tutor or a different family member to help out if possible. We also tried YouTube videos and that helped a little, but not as much as dad doing it with her. Having as much patience as possible regardless of the outcome is best, so you don’t ruin your child’s spirit over some weekly words. And I agree, just write it, right? But you know, what works for one may not work for another. Maybe even try reaching out to the teacher and seeing what they recommend, or if you have access to a computer try educational games to help with said vocab words. Maybe even flash cards.
Before my son was diagnosed with autism we had meltdowns, tantrums and he has a lot of self doubt, confidence issues and learning delays. His hw was too hard for him. He had been diagnosed with ADHD before he was diagnosed at 10 with autism. He was having difficulty transitioning after school. But I do insist on hw for him because he needs the practice, my older daughter I did fight for her not to have hw at one time and it helped her. Every kid is different. Has she been tested for any special needs? Is the homework still too hard for her? My son ultimately went in to an special day class and the pressure has been lifted off his shoulders and mine. Hw time was causing me stress headaches. Now it’s 95% better but I’m still trying my best with boosting his confidence. Also, is there another family member that she might work better with? I know in my house only myself and one older siblings can sit with him. Meet with the teacher and discuss how hw is going. I have been there and it’s so much better! Hang in there, momma! 
Has she been tested for learning disabilities that is very frustrating because the really can’t help it I think that when they put them under a special teacher that shows them a different way to learn or that what they did in the early 80s and please don’t get me wrong I am not saying by any means that you child is handicapped absolutely not but they can have a learning disability in a certain subject and have no problem in other subjects it wouldn’t hurt to get her tested in the past the school did it but I don’t know now that’s been over 40 years ago
As soon as mine gets off the bus, we go straight into the kitchen sit down and do the homework. If she doesn’t want to, too bad. She’s not getting up until she’s finished. She can sit there whine and cry all she wants, I don’t care. Then when she is done, I allow her to do whatever she wants to do. It was a huge deal in the beginning. Sometimes she would sit there for over an hour and just cry. Now since she knows the rules, she hurry’s up and gets it done so she can have free time.
Read up on her learning disabilities and join a group for parents of this type of kid to get strategies.
Ask her to do 5 minutes of homework and then stop. Ask her if she’s OK doing another 5 minutes. If so, keep doing that until she’s had enough, then do something else for 1-5 minutes. Then refocus and keep going. If you’re stopping every 5 minutes, see if she can hold out for 6 minutes, then 7, etc. Set a kitchen timer or use an hourglass so she can visibly see progress and how much time she has left in each session.
My son had ADHD and would wail about homework. Hubs & I had to keep refocusing him on his worksheets constantly. When one was ready to throttle him we’d switch so we could calm down. It gradually got better. We also had him & his sister in tutoring programs.
Also, maybe invite her friends to come over and do homework with her to normalize doing it without a fuss & embarrass her if she has a tantrum.
Give rewards for every 5 minute achievement and every complete homework session (gold stars, M&Ms, kisses for interim, time at the playground or TV or playing games or picking one component of dinner for the whole thing. A week with no tantrums or procrastination gets a movie, pizza for dinner, Chuck E. Cheese, whatever.
As time goes on and she’s consistently doing better you up the ante: 10 minute sessions, then 15, etc. Two weeks ve. one to earn a special treat. Once she’s consistently good about doing her work, find a special date to stop the rewards. Tell her she has graduated to being a responsible student and take her out to dinner & get a good present to celebrate. Hype the event up for a week beforehand and stress what a great thing it is.
My granddaughter hated reading after school. She came home had a snack . Than we both sat at my kitchen table . No TV on No music on nothing . She wasn’t allowed Tv or playtime until her work was completed. I didn’t argue with her over it . I’d say fine if you don’t want to do it . But you can’t play go outside ride your bike watch tv nothing . You can set while I watch my soap opera and enjoy my show . I never ever ever gave in . I did exactly what I told her would happen. She is 20 now / she told me you were a little strict . But I needed structure and you gave it to me . I had her everyday after school. Now I am helping raise my 3 year old granddaughter. She makes her own homework on her tablet . She is doing subtraction at a 5 yr olds level. Learning starts at birth .