How can I get my ten year old to stop lying? She’s lying about everything and anything. I have grounded her. I have done the writing sentences. Nothing is stopping this behavior. Any suggestions
Be a person she trusts
My 10 year old lies to about everything…
Yep taking things that she values don’t give them back. Tv computer lab top phone bed room door stop letting her rule you who is the Parent here let her get pissed who cares
Have her make a sign that says, “I lied to my Mom about (fill in the blank)” and have her hold it at the entrance of Walmart every time you catch her in a lie.
She’ll get better at lying the more you punish. You’ll dig yourself a deep hole.
I’ve done the whole take stuff away and restrictions stuff, but what has really made a difference with my kids is pulling weeds and picking up sticks. I told them they did not deserve to be punished while soaking up my AC. I bought them gloves and put them to work outside. They hate doing it so they have straightened up a lot.
You may need professional help with that one to find out why and how to correct the behavior.
Tell her everytime she lies her ears turn red So you will always know when she is lying. Bet she will try to cover her ears.
If your child lies to you …you damaged the trust somewhere…mayne instead of taking things away…try spending more time with them!!! Show them they can trust you again…have little secrets…take special trips…other than that therapy might be helpful
Therapy… also family therapy
Maybe therapy to get to the root of the problem
My 11 year old is doing it. We’re doing therapy, we’ve taken everything from him but his bed and dresser. We’ve done the “if you lie your tongue turns purple” crap. Nothing has worked.
A empty room and mattress on the floor should do, bc if you lie eventually that’s all you will have left! It’s harder but if others measures aren’t working then you have to get her to stop now so she doesn’t ruin her life
She will probably grow out of it if you stay on her about it. They just want to see what they can get away with.
Wash her mouth out with soap. Every single time.
Talk to them ask them whats going on…Dont just punish the behavior…Kids have funny ways of telling us things arent okay…Spend time doing something together and then have a chat…
False threats do not work that’s for sure. I have an almost 12 year old girl and between ugly nasty mood swings and lying I’ve had my patience tried regularly lately. Finally talked to her about therapy. She’s finally open to the idea so we will take it one step at a time
This child is 10 why in the actual hell would you bring them to therapy… I swear yall fools think you literally know everything what’s next should the child be on pills to?
Why not try sitting down with her and asking her why she feels like she needed to lie about this or that why take the toys and items away clearly it’s not working… threats won’t work…
MATTER OF A FACT WHY NOT TRY THIS TAKE YOURSELF BACK TO 10 AND TRY AND REMEMBER WHY YOU LIED ABOUT THINGS…
You need to get down to the core yes but that’s something you and her need to figure out not you her and a damn stranger all that’s gonna do is teach her it’s ok to trust strangers… theres a reason shes lying and you and her need to figure out why… instead of yelling or taking things have you simply tried to sit down and ask her why?
Give her a taste of her own medicine. Dont let her know , just start lying to her and abt her . Tell others your plan so they can help . Promise things tell the same kinda lies she is show her how it feels and can affect others .
My son is like this…lying. I’ve told him that he will be spanked when I get the truth. He tested me on this and well… His butt was spanked.
I think 10 is old enough to sit down and have a serious chat about why she feels the need to lie about things. Point out her behavior, the damage it causes on all fronts, and literally force her to explain why she lies. Often times when coming face to face with the ugliness of their behavior they may try to make a change. Keep enforcing it and ensure her she doesn’t need to tell lies while making her understand that in the real world consiquences are much more severe. She has to change her behavior or it will ruin her life. Get real. She might take more out of it than you think.
Apple cider vinegar in her mouth for a bit. Every time you catch her lying. It will help. Plus the apple cider vinegar wont hurt her if she swallows it. It tastes HORRIBLE.
I had 3 out of 5 that were so bad about that and the 2 girls got so bad with lying and sneaking around we had to take the bedroom door down and bolt the windows shut and just for good measure I planted a very spiky plant outside that same window. You have to prove to them that you mean business and that you’re not going away or giving in. Eventually they realize this and things get better but can never let your guard down. Love them and protect them even from themselves.
Some people are just predisposition to lie. We raised our your choices impact our choices. So if you choose to lie about something that requires trust, well they don’t get the privilege of going or doing things that require trust. If they lie about chores- they pick up more chores. If they lie about taking something- then who ever they took it from gets to choose something if theirs. Phone, TV and anything outside of 3 meals a day, a bed and a couple changes of clothes 2 out fits is a privilege… wouldn’t even consider getting any of those until a long period of time has passed with no incident… steady consistency is the key. Have her to reflect back to you why your upset and how her choice to lie had impacted your choices…
Sit down with her, and tell her to start writing a book. Her lying, means she has a very active brain, put it to good use, and write a book. Use that imagination, nuture that talent and you never know, she may become a great author.
My son tried this.
I finally told him I would go to his class and tell his friends…he really thought I was playing.
I walked in his class, to proctor, but he turned beat red and started sweating. His teacher already knew what I had said so when he asked to talk me, she let us step outside and he finally got it.
He’s never lied to me since.
If nothing is working, I’d try family therapy.
my dad was “old school”, he grabbed me into a “,head lock” and then put soap in my mouth, and give me a spanking i got the message
Well it’s a kid thing…I remember back when I did this and my dad would say if your lying to me the consequences are far more worse… allot of it was FEAR cuz if I was honest I would get in allot of trouble and didn’t want a spanking…but I still got it anyway cuz he always found the truth…I got grounded allot but the thing that killed me the most was he took the phone…
Does she exhibit any other strange behaviors. Anxieties, irrational fears, trouble relating to other children her own age, maybe tactile (clothing is too rough or can’t stand things near her neck) or heat sensitivities, or anything else that you thought was just slightly odd? My daughter lied all the time for no apparent reason and she was diagnosed with mild form of autism at the time it was called Asperbergers. I think she lied in an effort to fit in and appear normal but the lies never really made sense to me. You should try therapy for her, maybe she just needs counseling and then again maybe their is a diagnoses that can help you understand how to help her.
Tell her the story of the boy who cried wolf alot teach her why lying could hurt her even the little lies
She’s lying because she thinks she Is going to get in trouble for telling the truth have to teach her the truth is always better than a lie
Lie to him/her about everything for an entire day so he/she knows how it feels. Then have a discussion about why it’s important to be honest. Sometimes it’s the only way they understand.
Take her to a counselor.
By the time I was 10, my dad was married for the third time…his second wife had abused me horribly for 8 years…I was 9 when my dad told me “that’s not your biological mom…and we’re getting a divorce”.
I started acting out horribly…I was stealing and lying and hurting myself.
My dad’s 3rd wife took me to a counselor…the lady I went to did an amazing job because I stopped the lying and stealing.
Lol I’d lie too of i was constantly punished.
i lied to my daughter after trying everything to get her to tell the truth! To my knowledge, i don’t believe she lied to me anymore! she was very hurt by my lying, i explained to her, that is how i feel every time you lie to me!
Something is causing these lies. Dig deeper maybe counseling but try to refrain from too much punishment she may feel like she cant come to you if she always feels she will be in trouble. Shes ten… Theirs a reason she is lying a lot. Maybe she doesnt feel as efficient or confident like other kids she might know somewhere and needs to make up for what she lacks
It could also just be her brain. I had a friend who’s son would lie about EVERYTHING, even stuff she wouldn’t get mad about. She tried all this “teach/listen” stuff. Turns out kid was just down right brilliant. Sometimes they weren’t exactly lies but its almost as if his brain would see and think a certain way bit he just hadn’t found how to express it all in a way that made sence. He has a wicked imagination, talented beyond belief. And no word of lie no matter how hard i try to scramble it,he still manages to fix my rubrix cube in under a minute … Im not there yet mine’s only 5 months young but I’d probably keep at her, call her out. Ask her why, I wouldn’t label it as anything and wait…
- We are sinners. 2. Teach her the bible and her need for a Savior.
Bar of soap n rub it on her tongue. Maybe scrape the teeth a lil. Lol
Not sure what she’s lying about or how strict you are but alot of kids lie because they are scared to open up and talk w their parents out of fear of getting in more trouble. They act out for attention but then lie about it out of fear of the punishment.
My great aunt watched me when I was growning up. My sister called me a lair. I never forget this she made her write 100 times a day I will not call me sister a lair. When she finished on friday she never looked over them or counted them. She ripped them up in her face and drop the paper on the floor and made her clean it up. Digging ditches also helps or shelling peas. Sometime you need the older people to give you advice on how to raise kids. Instead of these young parents.
Boy who cried wolf. It was a hard lesson to learn but my daughter is finally understanding it.
Take every thing she owns…every toy, all electronics/internet, phone I’m talking removing everything except a bed, side table clothing/dresser, and books. She can earn her things back one item week at a time ONLY if she has not lied. Keep her favorite thing be the last thing back. Oh and ground her too. We had our daughter read a book a week and we had her write a book report on it. My daughter bucked us for a few weeks, but then there was a massive turn around. She ended getting all of her stuff back…she back slide a little so we took her tablet again but she earned it back a week later.
She also did chores, hers and her sisters for three weeks. Now she just does her own.
I know this seems extreme, but it is quite effective
Stop punishing and start listening. Kids lie because they’re afraid to tell the truth. Why is she afraid to tell the truth? Figure that out and she will stop lying.
Therapy could definitely work to find out what is causing her to lie. Maybe she is not getting the attention she needs from you, she might not trust you, this happens alot in children who have strict parents so that might be a reason or it could be something much deeper that is bothering her.
Take away privileges. Whether it be playing a sport, going somewhere fun, a phone or tablet etc.
Take all her privileges away or tell her you will do something special for her, then don’t follow through and when she asks why tell her you lied, see how she takes that then explain why lying hurts.
Encourage her to do creative writing. Maybe her imagination is running wild and she needs a place to channel it? A place where lies are allowed, seperate to real life. Just a thought. Worked for me as a child with a wild immagination.
Children go through a “lying phase” it ranges from age 6 to 12 with the majority of kids growing out of it by 8. The recommended thing to do durring this phase is to continually call them out on it… in private. Its a compulsive behavior so embarrassing them doesnt help. When u know for sure they are lying u calmly tell them u know they are lying and u need the truth from them. Sometimes the lies they tell are just harmless whopper stories, but its still important to call them out. Remind them of the boy who cried wolf.
My 10 year old daughter lies mainly cause her dad promises when she sees him and he lies to her and she thinks it is ok every time she lies i take something ojt of her room and now she has no toys at all then i start taking things she enjoys like tv away and boy shes learning my saying in my house is if u cant b honest with urself u cant b honest with others .
Tell her your taking her to Disneyland. When she gets excited about it tell you lied.
On a serious note though I think most kids go through this faze around this age. Testing boundaries and they get s little kick out of you being conned.
Explain to her that lies can hurt people and can sometimes be dangerous.
Give her an example or two of serious lies that are age appropriate.
All the psychiatrists online - shouldn’t you all be gone to work by now
This might be about poor self esteem. Therapy,.?
I think some punishment is necessary, because they have to understand that it’s not ok. But I think what’s more important is explaining to them how trust is earned, and how important it is to be trustworthy.
Just what Ms Angela armor say take all the good things away
Stop over reacting to what she has to tell you. Lyimg turns into a defense mechanism if the child feels like it will end in overly severe punishment. Literally rewires the brain for lying to be her go to means of defense. Taking her belongings will only make her anxious and territorial.
Take everything out of his room but bed and books you appove
Take her to the police station and have an officer give her a tour of the jail and tell her this is where you go if you lie. My friend’s mother took her brother there and did it. He was 7-8 and it worked.
Lie to her and show her how it feels, i had to do that with my 17 yr old around that age , he still doesn’t lie to me