How can I control my child’s tantrums and refusal to sleep? My two year old, almost three years old, is refusing to sleep and throws horrible tantrums—every night and nap time I put her down at the same time. When I put her down for nap time, I usually rock her until she is asleep, then put her in her crib, and I get her comfy so she can stay asleep. When I put her down, she freaks out and starts screaming. She will start kicking her crib and yelling. At night it’s the same thing. I will stay in the room with her. I have tried rocking her for hours, laying in the crib with her, I have tried night light, no night light, I have tried white noise, I have tried a fan, and I feel like nothing is helping. I’m at a complete loss. I’m a first-time mom, and I don’t know what else to do. P.s nap times still happen because when she gets sleepy, she lays in the middle of the floor and doesn’t want to play anymore. When she doesn’t nap, her attitude is even worse, and it feels like every 20 minutes, there is a meltdown.
Let them cry! The more you give in the more they’ll refuse
Guna have to let her cry it out. It sucks it sucks bad but sometimes there’s not a lot else you can do. Going through it too
Fresh diaper, 10 mins if cuddles, explain that she is a big girl now and can sleep by herself. Then leave the room and let her cry.
Cosleeping then moving her? I did that with my son. Then when he turned d4.we got.him a.big.boy bed like mommy’s so now he loves it
Maybe not have a nap during the day anymore? My almost 3 yr old doesn’t nap anymore an goes right to sleep at night.
My daughter just turned three and doesnt nap anymore, if she does she will try to stay up really late
No more naps … my almost 2 year old does the same thing at night if he naps during the day and will be up for like 3 hours passed bedtime
Work on being patient
I tried this and its working!
Answer to every tantrum water(not my advice but recently tried it and it works.)
This may sound crazy but what about a tv in the room? My daughter is 2 & falling asleep with the tv on has helped her so much. Just put a sleep timer on there & she lays & relaxes until she falls asleep. Sometimes it takes longer than others but even after the tv goes off she will drift right to sleep.
Just sharing my thoughts maybe she needs to get on a schedule my son turned 2 this month we wake up at 8 we play hard i keep him busy hes just started skipping naps and going to bed at 8 a little screaming and a bit of a fighting when hes over tired but i would say get her in a schedule and have planned activities thur out the day to make them tired then dinner bath time and hes usually asking for bed time good luck!!
She could be used to your warmth and when you lay her down she’s cold. My oldest was like that.
My son did this when he was about 2 and a half. I switched him to a toddler bed and it got a little better. Most nights he fell asleep on the floor and then I would move him to his bed.
Ditch the nap. Try adding some epsom salt to her bath
Let her cry it out. It is worse for mommy then babies. When my babies would cry, and I knew they were taken care of and just tired, I would take a shower. Then I’m not listening to them and are able to relax. Once I would get out of the shower, they would be sleeping.
When we switched our son over to his own room he did this too. We went out and let him pick a new bed set, fun pillows and a new stuffy. It helped, but dont feel bad letting her cry it out either. My mil told me as long as they are fed, clean and dry you can let them cry and check every 20 mins. I would just sit outside his door (a lot harder on the mama then the babes)
Put her in the crib and leave the room, she’ll cry and freak out but trust me she’ll fall asleep eventually. You rocking her at almost 3y/o is one of the dumbest things you could put yourself through. She’s showing you that she’s too dependant on you and you need to give her space to do simple things like go to sleep on her own.
I would skip the naps and do an earlier bed time. My youngest stopped naps at about 2.
Have you tried a weighted blanket? Or compression sheet? You can get both on amazon.
Only suggesting because my daughter is autistic and these were recommended. She sleeps well but I did invest in a couple of sensory swings to put in her room. Even a mini trampoline to put in and let her jump out all of her energy.
Before bedtime I use Dr Teals lavender bath salts for children and Oilogic baby vapor bath to calm both my toddlers down before bed. For the most part it’s helped tremendously. Hope this helps you 
How long are the naps?
Melatonin. Used with my 5 year old that never slept. Wished I would of done it sooner.
No naps and try a little earlier on bedtime
dont give her meds ro sleep. melatonin is only to be used a few times otherwise the will stop producing it naturally, read up on it. try loosing the crib. maybe she has a touch of claustrophobia. put her mattress on the floor and lay beside her.
Try a weighted blanket.
Start with a mattress on floor of your room maybe? Then move to her room eventually?
Melatonin. They have the kids kind it’s only 1 mg. It’s all natural I take it but its 5 mg my best friend has a 4 yr. She takes the kids melatonin. And she is fine it helps her sleep. There s No harm in melatonin u can buy at wal mart or pharmacy it’s by the vitiams
Take her to the park, outside to play everyday in the evening. Wear her out physically. Bring her home, feed her, give her a bath. Place some soothing music or read her a book. I also used to give my children massages on their legs, shoulders, etc…Make it the same routine every day.
Lay her down and shut door she will stop on her own. Watch Nanny 911 u will learn alot lol. Shes used to being babied
Mine did this until I hot her a big girl bed. Now I lay with her until she goes to sleep and then get up and go to my bed
What a great mom you are. You are doing such lovely hard work to keep your child feeling safe and loved.
She enjoys having you close and doesn’t want to switch to the bed. That’s understandable. But try putting her in her crib right beside your bed. You lay on the bed and her in the crib. She will protest a few days, maybe longer. Be consistent. Just lay there next to her. I used to sing the same song over and over to my son. Oh my darling, oh my darling, oh my darling clementine… I think I have spent hundreds of hrs singing that song. He is 3 1/2 now and I can get him to sleep in 3 minutes if I sing that song 
Please don’t use the cry it out method. What you will teach her is that you are not available for comfort in a time where she needs it. And therefore simply stop crying because there’s no use in crying. Crying is how she tells you she needs you. Later on they will use words. If you teach her that you are not available for comfort, she won’t be asking you when she gets to use words.
Yes, it is a daunting task. But you build trust in her, making her feel safe and sound.
If she still fights sleep in a month, you might need to look at her sleep schedule - is she getting too much, too little?
White noise is also a good cross over. Use an app on the phone. Use it for a week while getting her to sleep like you normally would. Then start putting her in the crib like mentioned earlier. She will associate the white noise with sleeping and it is constant, so even when she wake up after a sleep cycle she will go right back to sleep due to the sound. Worked with both of mine.
Shes ready to drop her nap
My almost two year old always refused sleeping in her crib whenever I put her down she would immediately get up and cry so I would bring her into the bed and hold her while she sleeps when she’s in deep sleep I gently place her head on a pillow and it feels like I’m still holding her then I would put pillows around her so she don’t roll off the bed and she sleeps with no trouble 
most people told me its not a good habit but because shes my first baby I felt like she just wanted to sleep close to me
Toddlers usually start refusing naps between 2 and 3 and yes they are very cranky because of it. I would definitely switch to a toddler bed at her age. If she refuses a nap during there’s a possibility she’ll sleep better at night. I hope you get some relief soon.
Mine, 2 and 4, had gotten in the habit of not going to bed until late. We started waking them up early(8-ish), not letting them take more than an hour nap(if they took one) and any naps they did take couldn’t be after 4pm. At 7-8, they help pick up the living room and then get ready for bed. Some times I read them a bedtime story, but it’s lights out, watch something on TV til they pass out and then bed. Also, should be in a toddler bed, she may not like the “bars” created by the crib. You can get a twin size bed, if you want. Some stores sell a thing that keeps them from rolling off that you can attach.
A 30 min routine before a nap and bedtime at night will help so much! The same routine for both makes it a lot easier for her to transition and knowing what’s coming helps her feel more in control. Going to sleep being rocked and held then waking up alone in another room can be scary for a child her age. Be firm! A baby monitor will help you to know she’s alright. If you remain firm and consistent she should start going to sleep without tantrums in a few days at most. ( easier said than done! But worth it!)
Big bed and just let her play her self out. And a real tone voice and warning before time …time out or nap. She makes her choice i really dont spank tell no option like her fighting to get out of trouble. Sometimes just falling out and leave her where she is for ten minutes before moving her into a big bed… My daughter was the same way… Im now. A grandpa
Try not doing all that stuff put her to bed and leave her cry. Crying has never killed anyone. She knows your gonna come in and stay with her that’s why she does it. Manipulation has begun…
Try taking the mattress out of crib and put on floor surround it big comfu friendly pillows and a nice blanket and stuffy friends. Sit and read before bedtime on the new bed some children become fearful of the crib see it as a confinement
Have you ever said, if you don’t behave your going to bed. Some kids relate it to being in trouble. Maybe that’s why?
Same here for my son! Every single time . And I feel like a crap mom because I hate hearing him scream and cry but I’ve tried it all…
Put her crib mattress on the floor without the frame. Tell her to stay in her room with the door open. Try putting a small tv in there too.
Dont give her a nap, then she will be tired at bedtime and zonk out
Sounds like she’s outgrown nap time
She ready for a toddler bed she to old for a crib prolly what her issue is most out theyre almost 3 year olds in toddler beds
I know I’ve seen it in the manual before… I think it’s called a spanken!
Also known as a paddle on the ass.
A lightly weighted blanket can help
My one and a half year old has never slept well. Wakes still about 4 to 5 times through the night. She goes down easy but doesn’t stay asleep. Yesterday she had a nap early and woke early and by bedtime she was to over stimulated overtired and struggled to go down. She finally went down for an hour and a half 
woke and screamed the house down for 20 mins. Just to tired but over tired. It’s a horrible thing for them. This is why I love a thrive off routine. My nights are far better when she’s had a decent day nap at the usual time she goes down.
Sleep begets sleep. If shes over tired and overstimulated, it can backfire. Try putting her down for nap before she’s trying to lay down in the floor because shes so tired. Find a sweet spot of a time that works and stick with it every single day. Same for a bed time. Tantrums are normal at that age, but it sounds like its more of a sleep issue than a tantrum issue.
You can’t spoil your child with your presence and love. If your child wants you, go to them, go to them a trillion times! Every time you go to them they will feel safe and secure knowing you will, and they will eventually stop needing you to.
Limit sweet,start an hour before bed warm bath warm pjs dim the lights, keep things low key and quiet as possible get her favorite book’s to read to her and read to her in bed and be firm and a matter a fact about bed time no negotiations with bedtime it wilk take time but it will work cause she already knows if she has a freak out u will come running and if she does no big deal once she gets it it will stop
I don’t know how helpful my advice will be because I’m currently dealing with the same thing with my almost 3 1/2 year old. He seems to be going through a phase and honestly I just do whatever I can that night to get him to fall asleep. If he wants me in his bed that night, I’ll lay with him, if he wants to fall asleep in my bed, I’ll let him. If he wants me to rock him before bed, I’ll do that. If he wants me to rub his back or read him a story before bed, I’ll do that. As long as the “negotiation” is something I’m okay with/don’t find to be “ridiculous” I’ll do it. Because 1. I don’t mind giving in to a back rub if all he wants is a little comfort and 2. After 3 years… I’m OVER the tantrums 
sometimes certain things work and sometimes they don’t but every child is different! One thing I will say is that there are days where he’s gone without a nap and yes by bed time he’s absolutely exhausted but he’s SO over tired that it’s almost more impossible to get him to sleep because he’s fighting it so much more! I also have a child who will not fall asleep on the couch or in front of the tv… if I left him in the living room he’d be up until 5am 
find what works for you mama!
My little one throws fits like you can’t believe too! I’ve gotten to the point I just walk away. Usually after a minute or two she comes to me and calms down. If she’s to the five minute mark I will pick her up, say all day and wait for her to stop crying then I put her down. I had a similar napping problem too. I completely cut it and the second I saw she was starting to fall asleep with rocking I put her in her crib and let her figure it out. Sometimes she would whine, other times she would ugly cry but she eventually gets it. We use music but after five minutes we shut it off, they dont sleep well if it’s not quiet. Sounds like you’re giving them tough love, but if they know they can cry and get what they want, they’ll continue.
My daughter did this, it’s the sleep regression. Her pediatrician told us to get children’s melatonin the lowest dose they have give her one a night 30 min before bedtime! This also restarted her natural melatonin and after a month of using it we no longer had Issues at night and stopped using the melatonin!
Try to put the crib mattress on the floor, and see if when you put her to sleep if that helps.
Maybe it’s the crib itself…
My son had that issue… he did not like being in the crib.
& maybe like everyone else is saying, cut out the naps… she should be sleeping through the night at her age.
Even try one of those music stuffed animals that has the little lights on it… if nothing helps then you just have to let her cry herself back to sleep 
it sucks, but maybe that’s all it will take.
I had some issues with my baby sleeping. I found that the more I coddled him, the longer I held him, the longer I stayed in the room, the worse it will be. Now I kiss him on his way into the room, say I love you AND WALK AWAY. I do not go back in. It took a few weeks, but he finally got the point. No longer any headaches here.
I have a dog with separation anxiety and the trainer told me that sometimes all the kissing and saying goodbye for 10 minutes actually creates more anxiety about the separation. She said to not say anything and walk out. So I tried applying this to the baby at bedtime and nap time and it worked
My granddaughter was the same. Found out at 4 she has sensory issues. Ignoring problems isn’t a good response.
My two, almost three old does this too. I have 5 children aged 6,5,4,3 and 2. I’ve been through this many times with the others. They are at a point where they are out growing their nap time. When she lays on the floor and doesn’t want to play any more, just leave her there and if she falls asleep on the floor - let her. If not, just let her rest where she lays. You find something to do in another room and leave her be. This allows her body and mind to rest without actually sleeping and you’ll probably find after a little time out, she will hop up and play again. Then at bed time, take her to bed a little earlier, say good night and close the door. She will cry, but being so tired, she will fall asleep on her own. You will only need to endure this for about a week and she should start looking forward to bed time. Poor little things don’t know how to behave any other way when they are so tired and it is exhausting for both them and us. Keep trying… I promise it does get better. Now my children are a little older, I use the Moshi Twilight App and they are asleep within 15 min. Hope this helps and good luck!
Get her a bed! Shes old enought to not need a crib, I know when I got my son a bed he was excited to sleep in it.
With my daughter her naptime has to be early so by 12 and 2 latest and no longer than 2 hrs. I had to sit with her on the bed hold her down while she cried and threw her tantrums after about half hr or more of her screaming crying tantrum she’d fall asleep I did this for about a week then naturally thank god she would get sleepy at that time and by HERSELF would walk to the room and go to sleep it was/is amazing lmao best thing I did was get that sleep schedule shes been on it for almost a year and yes she gets off sometimes but we get her back on
Keep her in her crib. She’s still a baby and if she’s having trouble in a crib, it will be worse if you change to a bed where she can get up whenever she gets put down. Stay with the crib, look up how to get her to sleep from a pediatrician who deals with cognitive behavioral issues. Won’t take long. And she’ll still be safe in her crib while you’re asleep at night.
Get her in a big girl bed, put a gate at the door, kiss her and send her to bed. Go to sleep or not, you’re staying in your room. You’re literally feeding the tantrums at this point.
Lay her down and walk away, she knows you’ll give into her tantrums, don’t.
Get her comfortable, give her a kiss, put her down, then walk away momma
Consistency is key! A set time for bath, set time for bed/storytime, white noise machine/diffuser with lavender and hug her up tight tell her you love her and walk away.
Super nanny method look her videos up on YouTube they will save your life don’t listen to anyone else on here swear to god
We used to put kid in the car and drive around till they feel asleep… What did we know!
Well your child is 3. The tantrums aren’t going to go any where.
Maybe cut out the nap and she will be super tired by bedtime.
Put her to bed before her normal nap time. I suggest lots of play and exercise, give food or snack and put her in her room. To me I would have put her in a big girl bed at the age of two. We take the bedroom door off and replace with a gate. Nap and bedtime should always be the same time. Lay her down sing a song read a book whatever then go. If she gets up put her back and say no it’s bedtime. If she gets up again go back and put her pack without saying anything. Same goes with time outs. Be consistent and the adult. It might take a day or two but it will just become the normal and she will just stay.
Lay her down and walk away. She expects you to stay and its giving her what she wants. My daughter is 18 months and I put her in her crib, turn on her lullabies and leave her to it. Either she cries or lays down but she knows that she has to sleep and she’s not getting her way. Ignore her tantrums. She sees you’re giving her attention because of them and she continues to have them.
I’m the unpopular opinion. But I let my kids sleep when they were tired. They didn’t get caffeine, (I didn’t use it during pregnancy or breastfeeding either). I kept meals and snacks either low sugar, or made sure they were active enough to burn it off before sleepy time. I dont believe in letting kids cry it out. I love the sense of security and the bond I have with each of my children, which I cuddled for pretty much every cry. To each their own. I am currently the mother of 3 well behaved, respectful, intelligent teenagers. Dont get me wrong they hate doing chores lol, but they know I’ll be here for them, good and bad.
Give no input. When throwing a tatrum they want some type of attention in return, negative or positive. If they’re not receiving any input back it will likely stop.