How can I get my childs last name changed?

Mamas, anyone gone about changing their child’s last name? My 7 year old has his dads middle and last name, horrible judgment on my part but I was stupid and misinformed and now it’s been about 3-4 times since 10/2021 that his dad has even bothered with him. We also have a daughter together but she has my last name. For the last 1.5-2 years my son has questioned why he has to have his dads name if his dad doesn’t come see him anymore? And he broke my heart saying “i want your and his sisters last name, so we can be a real family”… I’ve asked him a few times before about changing his name and of course it’s always a NO… Is there possibly anything I can do… what can i do? where would I start??? I need advice


I gave my now 22 year old both last names that way when he got older he could decide which one he wanted to carry

Not sure elsewhere but in NC parent must sign.

Use what ever name he prefers right now, just pop it in the preferred name on documents. Then apply with the courts to have it changed


You’d probably have to take him to court at this point.

Department of vital statistics, I think :thinking:

Without dad’s permission you can’t change child’s name

You have to prove it’s in the child’s best interest unless dad agrees.

I had to go to court and they had to send something to the dad he didn’t respond so they were able to proceed with changing my daughters last name


Pay for the name change even if through court you can hyphen his name with yours, especially if your not married

Do you have an agreement from the judge? Mine states I can’t change my son’s last name without his father’s consent, but after my husband files for adoption (and we can claim abandonment since he’s been MIA for three years) we will change it.

Fill out the dept of vital statistics forms.

File a name change petition with your local court system. You will get a court date, you explain to the Judge why you want the change and the judge will decide to approve it or not. If the judge denies your request your son will have to wait until he is 18 and can change his name then if he wants.

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You would have to go through court first and judge can terminate rights from 1 parent this case would be dad but if dad shows up and says he wants visitation or time with him then as long as dad has rights he would have to agree to the name change. I’ve tried with my 2 oldest kids multiple times and their dad has a say since he’s on the birth certificate.

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You could petition and ask the family court to overrule. even if the father doesn’t agree it is a possibility to get it done my daughter had this issue and the family court judge asked her directly in court if she wanted to change her daughter’s last name because the father hadn’t been participating in her daughter’s life and he didn’t even show up for the court date.
ETA and she wasn’t even in family court for name change they had a court date for different reasons involving visitation and child support. The judge just offered her the option after he didn’t show up.


My boys always wanted my last name, so they did call themselves by my last name except when necessary to use their birth name. I did talk to them bout it being their family name. They are old enough to change however they haven’t.

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We had the same issue with my daughter. You will need a lawyer to help in this process.

In Illinois you’d have to get a judge to sign off on it

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If you’re in Australia, you can’t

You cab change name by deed poll without permission if you want to change birth certificate you need to apply ro Court c

Start by getting out of your child’s head about his dad. That is the 1st step.


File a motion in the courts to change name. You’ll have to prove abandonment.

I believe you have to file for abandonment first otherwise they will need the father’s permission.


In some states, if your use a different last name at the child’s pediatrician, taking a billing document with that name on it is enough to get a new social security card issued. Check your state laws.

It’s gonna depend heavily on your state, but your best bet is to a consult with a lawyer. You’ll probably have to file abandonment, which is 90 days of him having no contact with the child.

You can try to change his last name however you will never be able to change who the father is!!! Just let go and get out of your child head about it.

You either have to have his permission and him sign off on it or take it through court and they usually will not just change it unless his rights get revoked and they won’t do that unless he’s deemed a danger to the child or unfit.

You can take it to court and have a judge do it. You stand a decent chance since the sister is full blood. If he has abandoned him or not provided financially in a year you can move to have his rights removed.

As far as I know you file to have his rights terminated if he’s on the birth certificate. From there you go to probate court to file for name change.

In some states you don’t need his permission if you were not married when the child was conceived or born. You need to look up your local/state laws as each state is different.

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In va you can’t without fathers permission thank god mine is wanting to sign his rights over soon!

You have to go to family court and file a petition

Had both of my daughters names changed from their bio fathers to my new married name. I did so 1 year ago about a year after my son was born from my now husband. My ex hasnt been involved in 2 1/2 years not a call, text let alone seeing them. I had to prove that I “put him on notice of the change”… he had the opportunity to contest and chose 3 times to not show up to court. Ultimately I proved that it was in their best interest and that he had been properly been made aware of the case. I’m in NY. The fees were somewhere around $250 each child.

In our state you can’t without a boat load of trouble. The other parent has to be served and come to court or the party that wants it changed must announce in local papers for several weeks, at their expense, what is proposed. However, at 16 the child has the right to change their name without nearly the amount of red tape.

My mom changed mine at school.when I was in 4th grade. Never was done through court. When I was 16 I got a new social security card with the name I wanted. Was never legally adopted either. Social security told me everyone is allowed 1 alias.

No you cannot change without the other parents permission. You can take it to court and you can still spend lots of legal fees without getting the outcome you want. Abandonment is hard to prove. In Florida anyway, nothing overcomes the rights of both parents to be in their lives regardless of whether or not they take advantage of that or not. My son waited until the age of 18 and did the paperwork to change it then.


Attorney. I know someone who did it. Didn’t cost that much. Other parent had to basically give up rights.

My middle son ended up with my ex husband’s last name. We were divorced for years, but I never changed my name back to my maiden name. No ones upset. My son doesn’t want to change his name to mine.

You’ll need dad’s permission.

My son was 5 when he argued with me infront of a hair dresser about his last name. He didn’t want his dad’s last name at all. I asked his father not to fully change his name or take it away, just wanted to hyfinate mine in. I got no response. Every year he’s bugged me about it. So it’s not just phase thing for him. Now that he’s 15. I told him, when he becomes 18 he can change his name to whatever he wants without either of our signatures.

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Check with an attorney in your area.

If the dad doesn’t agree to it you cannot do it

Explain to your son that a name doesn’t mean you’re family or not, and it’s just a word and doesn’t mean anything… and that when he’s 18 he can change his name if he wants.

You file an order to change name with your local court. If dad isn’t around and can’t sign you have to publish the name change in your local newspaper. If no one responds in 60 or so days the judge then decides to approve the petition etc. No lawyer needed but it was about $300 total years ago. Ask your local clerk or look it up on the court website.

Make sure to let your son knkw you are a real family even if he has a different name. He doesnt need to think all families have to have the same last name thats heartbreaking. My older kids have their bio fathers name and my youngers have their bio dads. Im married to my younger childrens dad and have that name. That doesnt make us less of a real family.

Theres a form and youll need dads permission unless you have him for abandonment or dad lost custody. The other parent will be served and will get a say. In my state without the other parents permission it cant happen until their 14. I still have the website pulled up for my son my only problem now is $$ but hes 15 and wants it changed too.

In most states after 6 months to a year of zero attempts at contact, the absent parent has essentially committed abandonment of the child and you can file for such and they’ll lose their rights period. Check with a lawyer in your state to do so. Why have his name if carrying it means associating with a POS. :woman_shrugging: I Agree with your son. He doesn’t deserve to carry that name around.

So in the state of Florida if the dad is on the birth certificate, then the dad needs to give permission to change the last name. My husband’s twins Mom tried to change their last name to hers and the judge denied it because my husband said no. Now my daughter wants to have her stepfather‘s last name and her father said no, unless he no longer paid child support, which I will not be agreeing to so I was told when my daughter turns 18 she could change her last name to whatever she wants