Every summer my husband is usually asleep by 830. He’s up at 445am and home by 5pm. But between being home and falling asleep, he never ever engages in conversation. Any ideas to get him to talk? This way for 15 years now.
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I just start talking as soon as hubby gets in the door. I also text him while he’s at work and if/when he’s not busy he’ll respond.
Add yourself to the routine so it becomes normal to talk to you. Also you should have a date night weekly that’s reserved for conversation and updates.
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Give him a new chore and use it as a conversation starter lol
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Email or text him at work and finish the convo at home.
Do you guys sit down for dinner as a family? Start chatting then… if he is working his butt off he is prob just to tired. Weekends? Need more info to give good advise.
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Aww poor guy must be tired. I would voice your concern to him and see what he says. Do it nicely and have a convo. If it’s been that long it’s gonna take a while for him to adjust. Be patient 
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Find a topic that he’s interested in to get a conversation started. I feel like I could work beside my husband at this point because I ask questions and get to know the details about what he does in the day. Sometimes you just need to jump start the talking. He may just in the routine of being silent.
Sometimes you can still love without being in love and that spark leaves…
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My man does this too. Its a summer thing, especially if it is super hot out. It used to bother me a lot, and we had fights over it. He works hard, in this alabama heat, so I leave him alone. Lol 
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I feel ya. My hubby is up at 330 and home at 430 and goes straight to outdoor chores. Hes exhausted when he comes in. Most of our conversations occur in the shower together.
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The man is basically putting In 13 hour days .I dont know what you do for work or if you’re a stay at home mom or what. Maybe send him something at work to get him a notice like instead of coming home tonight I’ll meet you at our favorite restaurant the kids are at our parents for the night love and miss our conversations we used to have
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I went through that for 6 years and it finally ended in divorce and I’m with someone now that actually wants to spend some quality time with me even when he’s had 20 hour work days… he’d come home and talk to me… get like 3 hours sleep and head back into work the next morning. 3 years later into our relationship and we’re still as close as ever. If you talk to him about it and he still doesn’t want to make an effort… then I’d say maybe it’s time to move on to someone else. No matter how tired someone is it’s no excuse to ignore your spouse all the time.
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He’s just exhausted.
I give mine a backrub every night, and during that back rub, during which time he cannot be cranky, and we listen to music and gossip and joke around.
But, we meet in the evenings after long days, it’s an unspoken rule that we talk about our days.
You can’t really expect profound intellectual conversations about the universe out of someone whose just come off a 13 hour work day…
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Well I would ask him if he wouldn’t mind spending more time together, tell him it’s really bothering you that you guys have no cuddle time and if he cares he’ll work on it if he doesn’t care he’ll blow it off.
I doubt he will change…Most guys have no use for small talk.Girls like small talk.Hes probably just tired and wants some peace .Fix his favorite supper and chat a bit and let the poor guy relax…You have to accept guy as he is
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Uum, I make my man listen/talk to me. I don’t annoy him, but things happen throughout my day and I wanna tell my bestfriend. I usually talk to him during dinner or in between him playing Xbox. He’s not much of a talker, but I bring it out of him. I try and do this when he’s comfy and relaxed. We have to talk or else I feel distant. They aren’t earth shattering conversations, but any conversation brings u guys closer.
Guys don’t talk like girls. You don’t see a group of guys get together at a coffee shop to chat. Go into a bar guys will be sitting enjoying the peace or having mindless conversation. My husband tells me all the time it is possible for him to think about nothing where as I am constantly thinking about things I need to do
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Why dont you say how you feel? If after that conversation you dont get the answers or whatever your looking for , if his reaction isnt really s bothered one I think its clear where the relationship stands?
I work the same shift as him…
Girl it’s exhausting that’s why…
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Do you have dinner together? There has to be something you both could enjoy doing together. My husband has the same schedule but we have dinner with our kids every night we try and avoid phones and on the weekends we garden or clean early in the morning so that by 4 we can watch movies together or something during this quarantine. However it takes 2. I always say you get what you put in. To engage I would just say, hey let’s try something different today…and through an idea out there. Or tell him, hey I know your tired but I miss doing things together with you. Let’s… by spending time together it will open conversation opportunities
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Just start a conversation. If he doesnt engage just flat out tell him he needs to talk to you. Express your feelings and just be real with him about it.
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Same boat…10 years for me. I dont think it will ever change.
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Good luck changing a habit you accepted for so long . I worked two Jobs at one point and would get so tired but I loved my time off to engage!!
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What is it you want him to engage with you about? That might help us
Mine works the same hours but doesn’t wanna stop talking. I suggest calling in the day and more importantly talking to him. You may end up surprised if he don’t know u feel this way. Married 10 years this year. Good luck 
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I ran in into this once I realized I didn’t leave much to talk about since he just talked football and vehicle’s. I started asking questions to help engage and it did wonders for me
Take him on a fishing trip…deep sea or big lake…out in a boat…then start that conversation…he’s got nowhere to run out there.
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Tell him to talk to you. He won’t know there’s an issue unless you tell him. Communicate
Four years for me. He will go to bed by 8, because he is tired. Will act like it’s a big inconvenience to do anything once home from work. But if his friend invites him over, which is pretty much every other night/every night. He is up and out the door in a flash and will stay up past 11. Idk how u stick with it after 15 years. Lack of physical and emotional connection in my relationship now, has me looking for he door. We talk about our issues but nothing changes. I don’t see it getting better. I feel detached.
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Our therapist said to set aside 15 minutes a day to conversate, about anything
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Pretty much in the same boat.
On his days off should be more activity though
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Welcome to married life. Do your own thing.
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He needs a new job like yesterday
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Mine dont talk to me no sex no chat no kissing nothing for the past 9years what do i do im so lonely any ideas z
Ask him how his day was? And engage in the convo…
You can not make someone have a conversation.
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Write him a note, stick it on coffee pot. 36 years of basically the same.
Sorry honey they never change
mine doesnt talk. most times i get a yes or a no answer. Together 15 years. Thats just him. Got into an argument with a male neighbor one time. He just said, you got this? Thats his way of saying if not i got your back. I know he loves me but talking is not his thing. When we were in the red for covid. I almost went nuts. Was like living alone. I don’t mind tho i talk enough for the 2 of us. Lol
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Ask open ending questions…
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Maybe he’s got no idea you want to talk.
Tell him you will give him a bj. If he talks to you. You won’t be able to shut him up after that.
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I was just going to say suck his dick, he’ll wake up real quick and talk about whatever you want
Honestly if I worked 12 hours 5 days a week I’m guessing? You really didn’t specify I wouldn’t want to come home and talk either… everyone wants to pick on the guy… I’m just saying… if that was you working hours like that, how would you feel?maybe it’s to much for him? Do you work? If not maybe you could pick up a part time and pitch in so he can cut back? Is there any ways you can help him lighten the load so to speak, that’s got to blow…
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I never want to be like this Larry Seiter
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Communication is key
This is so sad, I feel for ya…
You’ve been together for a really long time, you’ve already talked about everything there is to talk about, his work schedule keeps him exhausted. I know the feeling, but the only thing that seemed to help me any little bit was his brother telling him to communicate after he brought it up to him. He probably wants it just as much as you do, from my experience. 11 years here! Try to take the lead sometimes, that helps too.
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This is my work schedule as well. I’m also pretty tired and checked out by the end of the day. There aren’t many nights where I’m with my husband chatting during the work week either. Not because I don’t want to be, but because it’s necessary for me to properly function. Don’t take it personally. I love my husband to death and I always wish I had the energy to stay up and spend time together.
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I’m sure you have to be the one to educate all of us how u did that for 15 years! 
So with that being said … I’m sure y’all are doing something right! I know during this time of quarantine we all feel cooped up and need extra attention, but you’ve got another maybe 10-15 years and he will be all yours! He will retire and you might wish he was back at work! Haha! Good luck darlin! You got this! 
Up until a few weeks ago I kept a similar schedule and consistently felt bad because I would make dinner and then read and go to sleep. To tired to fully participate with my family. I liked my scheduled because I could spend time with my daughter but after 5pm I was done for the day
My bf is like that. Goes to work early in the morning an comes home late at night. I call it peacefulness😂an very lucky he doesn’t ever want to talk about anything. When we do talk it’s of maybe 5-10 words an has to do with food an then the talking is all done🤣
I don’t think he’s cheating, just worn out. Been there on an early start & if I hadn’t gotten sleep I would never kept up the pace. What about talking on the weekends? Don’t try talking just before bedtime. His rest is more important.
you’ve put up with it for 15 years - you’re just going to have to be blunt. ask if the two of you can schedule some
time before bed to just talk. plan it. 8:00-8:30. you can get a box of “table topics” (on amazon) if you need conversation starters. but yeah - you’re going to have to speak up.
If, this is real?! Uuummmmm…what makes you yearn for change, now? How do you have a relationship, with no conversations?! Interesting, and not in a good way. Child…
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Don’t expect him to be the only conversation starter. It works both ways. Simply start by asking how his day went.
Not when you’re eating dinner that would be the best time say something like how was your day
I read this to my husband…he said one day before bed just look over and say “I let the neighbor stick his finger in my ass” that should spark up a conversation.
If it’s been that way for 15 years it’s probably not going to change.
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Tell him something new he doesnt know. However small.
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He’s probably cheating
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Maybe talk about things he likes, to start with…
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How’s that saying go about shoes not stretching… 
Im in the same boat. But i tell him straight out. Why the hell dont you talk to me? What is wrong with you? Im not your girlfriend, im your wife. We arent roomates. Lol but thats literally just me…maybe ask about his day? Engage one of his hobbies. Ask to take a walk.
Find things to talk about that interest him. Men aren’t really all that talkative but if you can get them to talking about something they love they never stop talking lol. This then opens the way for him to listen and talk with you about your thoughts.
Stop fucking and start sucking…
Ask him about work as soon as he gets in . Or tell him about something you have done or seen
Newlywed here, but together for 5 years. I’m not a big talker, especially after work. My brain is fried, my masks are off, I’m just ready for relaxation. I could just stare out into the woods and chill til bedtime. My husband is the talker, he lightens me up with some food and a tv show or movie. Then we talk about what’s going on and that leads into some laughs and more conversation. So I suggest some food and pick a show to watch together. Naked and Afraid is a good one lol good luck!!
My husband works these hours except he’s not home by 5 lol. He’s a trucker 
. He’s tired. I’ve learned to live with it. He does his part and more 
and I get his attention on the weekends. Does your husband communicate when he’s not working?? Xo
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So from what I gathered it’s for the summer months only. I get it sucks. But if I was in his shoes, I can’t say I’d be much in the mood eather.
eat dinner together Naked I bet he will say something
15 years 
Of no engaged conversations?! I think things need spiced up. Like if you can go in the bedroom and just be naked and put him to sleep before he falls asleep that would be a good thing to talk about later 
or just literally get in his face and talk. He’s not engaging because he’s either just to tired or there’s literally nothing interesting to talk about. Talk about work or his interests or things you two want to do or accomplish together. Some people just are not big talkers though, Im sure he’s not a mute but something needs to spark his fire to pay attention and engage his attention towards you. To want to talk and to want to hear you. Talk to him and tell him how you feel. Opening up helps. Telling him what you want is ok.
Act like you have a boyfriend on the side get on your cell phone and start a conversation with a fake person maybe that’ll grab his attention? It’s not well he’s at work move the twin beds into your bedroom to give them a hint that there’s a problem🤣
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Hate to say it, but if it has been that way for 15 years, I doubt much of anything will change it. From the guy point of view, do you want to talk about things with him that are more girlfriend stuff, or is it spouse stuff?
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Talk about what, life? Issues? Daily conversation? Your post implies you’ve had zero conversations with him, that he doesn’t ever speak to you. I find that hard to believe.
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Men communicate very well while driving. I’m not sure what it is, but try a long drive in the car.
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Good luck my kids dad was the same way I just talked anyway🤣
Hard working man!!! Mine is a lot like this after 40 yrs. don’t bother. When he wants to talk we talk. Best times are at supper
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If you husband hasn’t had a meaningful conversation with you in 15 years it’s time you talk with someone else and it doesn’t have to be another man either it could be anyone i know you want it to be your husband however it’s obvious that’s not going to happen best of luck to you you’ve been through enough start living AND talking again💯
So everyone saying that “he’s tired let him be” is it ok for him to not talk to his kids? For him to not engage with his kids and spend time with them? She’s more than a mom, she’s a wife and she wants her husband to be a HUSBAND. Bread winner or not she deserves someone who takes her needs into consideration too. I just got into a fight with my SO about this yesterday. Her needs are just as important as his “relaxation”
You don’t have a husband. You have a room mate !
He is probably tired from working.
Be naked, that seems to get their attention real quick.
Be understanding. My husband has a job where he can work 60 hours a week. Write things down and wait for the weekend. If it is something he needs to know right away, leave a note. It is not easy, but once he feels like he is not “jumped” at the end of the day, he may begin to change. Put yourself in his shoes. Not everyone can switch work/home gears easily. Hope that helps. I will be married 24 years in December
Nah. Just let him sleep. Enjoy the peace and quiet.