I was brought up that work doesn’t come in my job your job!! Work together until everything is done!!!
Its his home too. And he should not be “helping” you. Instead he should take on some house chores not to help you but because he lives there too. Maybe he should stop looking at his and hers chores but rather jointly
Husbands till now have the medieval concept of house concerns are for wives only. Although there are few nen who updated their concept of shared responsibilities i suggest you make a list of things to do for him and for you if the list is with postive results maybe you can add a chore here n there for him until it becomes routine for him to do his side of the home activities. Good luck to you. I know it’s a herculian task but keep a positive mindset
You’re not overreacting, start feeding him cold sandwiches for dinner, tell him you’re tired of doing all those dishes, if he wants something hot he can help with the dishes.
You can’t change him. You can only change yourself. Stop looking at it as if he needs to “help you”. That makes everything “your job”. If you can change the way you look at your partnership, then it becomes obvious that it isn’t that he isn’t helping you, he’s not doing his job in the partnership.
Fix easy but healthy meals. Use left overs. Engage the childrens’ help. Assign hubby his daily task.
Don’t cook his food or wash his clothes.
It will do him good to do his own & not to be waited on!
Women at home, & with children, are too often undervalued, as they just get on with it, with no breaks or time for themselves.
Some men are still in the “dark ages” & are generally extremely selfish.
Wow… my husband works almost every day of the week; long hours but he does his own laundry and washes dishes when he can. I can’t complain cause he also does the cleaning the yard every two weeks
No, your not overreacting! He sounds like a traditional man. That is to his benefit, but not fair to the woman in todays world. Your child care provider work is your full time job. He should be splitting the rest of the housework and child rearing. Tell him to do his own laundry or wear dirty clothes. He’s basically making his own rules so he can just relax after work, but you never get to. If he doesn’t at least compromise, you need to decide if you want this quality of life, or maybe a new life partner, one that’s more fair.
I would threaten to leave him . My man know that it’s a 50 /50 home we are living in the 20th century men need to step up and do more but they are only going to do it if we make it 100% clear we won’t accept anything less. I had to kick my man out a few times before he made the decision to step up and now things are good. He needs some reminding at times but he helps out so much when he is home . Your husband will only change if you change. Don’t keep letting him get away with treating you like this. Trust me we teach people how to treat us. So stand up for yourself. I promise you will feel more empowered and more independent
I was married for 47years my husband always helped me around the house even when I was sick he even wash dishes and he hated to do it it’s called compromise
Don’t be vague. Ask him to help with specific things. Then, don’t bitch about how he does them. Would you like him to make dinner Friday? Don’t complain if it is hot dogs and mac n cheese. Need him to throw a load of laundry in? Don’t complain if he doesn’t do it your way. If you married a decent man, it may get you far.
No you are a team, you both should be taking care of your kids, house and yardwork or whatever you have. Remind him it is a PARTNERSHIP. Good luck.
Some husbands do and some don’t. Mine didn’t even do the outside. My son helps his wife he does the shopping and helps clean. My son-in-law helps with cleaning and cooking. They both do the outside If they weren’t taught by their parents then now is too late
Girl I work 12 a day n a nursing home my husband sits at home an does the bare mim. Granted he helped me threw an addiction but I’m at the end my rope. He never had a problem b4 working he says it’s due 2 depression but who knows with men.
Not doing his laundry, going on vacation, leaving everything a total mess is just going to cause more arguments. He’s not going to change. Find somebody to come in at least once a week and clean up the whole house. Spend the money to save your sanity and to avoid the endless arguing, resentment and hurt feelings. It’s that simple.
If my husband said that to me he would no longer be my husband. I have zero advice for that because I wouldn’t put up with that for one minute…but I would take some of these other people’s advice. Go on strike. He can cook his own meals and do his own laundry. This isn’t the 1800’s. You work just as hard as he does if not harder. It’s nice to spoil your man and him spoil you but there is a point of being taken for granted…and that you are xoxo goodluck
Just do yours and the kids washing, donner and dishes. Piles his out of the way.
Then if he says wheres mine etc. Say ‘ive done my jobs for the day’.
A marriage is a partnership your job is child care his is outside the house. But then everything else should be split down the middle.
Try doing a chore rota and only do your jobs on your days. See if thay helps. You cant be expected to do everything.
I tell my husband theres nothing more attractive then to see him helping me out and how handsome he’s getting each time he does it. I also give him his favorite ice coffee to hype him up but not he’s aware of it lol. Never complain if he does help you or dont go over the work he did even if it’s not up to your standers. Praise him for what he does. Reward him like a child and brag on him. Little by little you can train him to do it your way. My husband was laid off for a year during the pandemic and he saw all the chores and all it takes to keep up the home. I thank God my kid is grown but it’s a major task. I’ll be praying for you and all women who have husbands that dont want to help.
Nope, not overreacting. A relationship is a partnership. He’s not done when he gets home. He gets an hour break and then his job is being a father and a husband. You take care of the daycare stuff. He takes care of HIS kids for at least an hour, so you get a break. Dinner should be done together or you make dinner and he cleans up. You say you try to help with the outdoor stuff, that’s because you’re a good person. This is not an equal partnership. He needs to “man up”
Order out for some meals and eat on paper plates, schedule a helper a couple time’s a week.
Hell no tell him to do his own laundry for awhile don’t make dinner tell him if he wants it make that your beat!
Just hire a housekeeper to help you. Someone to come in to clean the bathrooms, once a week. Or a laundry folder. Pick something you hate and pay someone else to do it. See how he likes that.
No you.are not overreacting for heaven shk! Are you his maid? He is a grown up man…he should do his work himself and bcoz you guys are sharing kids together than he has to help you with the kids too. Put your foot down
Don’t do his laundry or dishes. Tell him he made the mess, clean it up
No you’re not and he’s not a man if he doesn’t help out with his own children
No, he is suppose to help.He help in making the children. He needs to help since you are working too.That’s how God meant marriage too be helping and loving each other.
We teach people how to treat us! You must have been accepting this behavior from the beginning . Stop being a fool. He is not a child so you don’t “train him” tell him how it’s going to be from now on and that you will not tolerate anything less, and stick to your words.
Just talk with him. The passive-aggressive approach hardly ever works.
There’s another way to look at things.m my husband died at the young age of 45. I wish I could take back all the complaints about just these things. The things he did take care of like the yard the cars and keeping things that broke fixed, was huge
I told my husband I’m his wife not his mother. If he wants to be treated like a teenager and do fuck all then he can move back with her
No you are not over reacting I’d say 90% of women feel the same way
If your kids are old enough get them to help. Hire someone, if it cuts into the budget maybe he’ll realize you need help.
They don’t change. You need to make up your mind if you are willing to change to deal with it or not.
Marriage is a partnership. My husband and I are two individuals living life as a functional team. There are no 1950s ‘gender roles’ , and he would not want them any more than I would. . Both people in this original post work full time jobs and one should not have to be responsible for everything else needing to be done at home when work shifts are completed.
Leave him, get another man that is more cooperative, willing and ready to assist you in doing what you want.
take a day off do noting when he get home he will see what you do cause it isn’t done that works
I am confused does he help out or he dont ?
Don’t do his laundry!!! Or help outside!! Good luck
The honest truth is that you probably can’t. If you love him get used to it. If you don’t love him move on.
No you both went into your
Marriage with
Promising to love and cherish one another in other
Word’s 50 50
I know what i would be saying to him…
Foreplay starts in the kitchen, dipstick.
I bet if you stopped putting out you would see a difference
Absolutely not. I think you need marriage counseling.
Hell no.slavery went out years ago.i wouldnt do a thing for 2 3 days.absolutely nothing
Now husband are you helping me or am I employing help
No ur not . first what ages are kids? They can help if 5 and older.kids need chores to feel good about self and teach how to maintain house. Then how much yard work , is he sitting his ass on rider drinking a beer or our beating up blackberry bush…you may want to go on strike for a week .show him how much piles up.sounds like your unhappy start saving for day ur done.
He ain’t gotta do shit yu lazy n at home all day handle yo bidness n let the king rest
You are not over reacting!!!
All this time spent complaining online could have been used to mop the floor.
Go into one of those websites and find a person to help you. Get someone to clean once or twice a week pay extra if they cook.
Since he is this side of a jerk, he can do his own laundry, shop and prepare his own dinner for a month. If he has his own space he can clean that too.
I don’y know, how did your mom and dad do it? When my children were growing up, I worked outside the home, and my wife was a “homemaker”. When she went to work, if I got home first I started ,or made dinner, I never cleaned the house, ot did dishes because “I didn’t do them correctly”. Now she is retired also, and we eat out often,
He’s an ass. Don’t do his laundry make him cook for himself. It’s a 2 way street. Speechless that their are still guys playing that bullshit card.
No you are not overeacting
So wrong and selfish!!