No. No. Kick. His. A,
Tell him to fuck off
Take him to the pound…
Keep doing it , it’s never happened it’s never will:woman_facepalming:
Listen. A guy can eat a women’s ass but he can’t change a baby’s diaper THATS IT .NEED I TELL U MORE
Quit being a servant to him period
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U R A PATIENT WOMAN!! That’s all I will say🤷🏻♀️
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You 're NOT overreacting .
Hire someone or quit complaining.
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Sounds like a jackass
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why r u helping outside
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He’s an ignorant arsehole. Stop doing anything of his and just do you and the kids
Hire a cleaning lady
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I used to go on strike. Passive aggressive for sure but effective.
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You should tell him that you have decided to get a job outside of the home. Therefore any messes sfr equally made and should be cleaned equally, laundry washed equally, child care after work equal. This might him realize that helping now is a much better and more economical idea she doesn’t pay for child care.
I suspect he was raised by a dad who felt the same way. If he does not want to compromise, maybe he would like to do his own laundry and cook his own meals. I went on strike on cooking once…unfortunately my 9 year old daughter cooked for her dad and brother. I was hoping they would get hungry. She let me down, but we laugh about it now.
You should both help each other out and care about how one another feel. I don’t think you’re overreacting. He should see that you’re overwhelmed and want to help you as you you should him when he is overwhelmed.
Stop doing things for him. Wash your own things and your kids but nothing that he uses
Tell him u will trade him jobs…I’ve done day care and watched my kids and did all the other stuff too.,You get tired
Been doing it for 51 yrs.
Thank god your husband can do what he does. About 10 months ago my husband was in a accident now he can’t do any of outside stuff now I do inside and outside. Never take for granted what you have. Thank god everyday for what you do have cause that old saying your life can change in the blink of a eye.
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I’d stop doing his laundry and cook simpler meals. Super basic meals. Maybe even tv dinners. Or boxed stuff. Sorry hubs. I’m on overtime right now and that’s all you get. This may open his eyes to how good he has it. Or HAD it. Lol
Leave his clothes and his dishes for him… he messed them… it may only take a week or so before he is asking for his clothes N his dishes to be done… he will get the point … maybe he could just help out a little with y’all’s kids
Since he says that the laundry and dishes are your responsibility because you made the mess, tell him he needs to do his own laundry and dishes because he made those meses.
Can u afford someone to come in once a week? If so get someone to come in
I have a friend who is ill her daughter has been trying to get someone come sit with her so she not alone in the house. They are hooked up with government program that are short staffed. So even if you have the money not easy to find someone.
No you’re not overreacting. He lives there too and he can help out too. He needs to at least clean up after himself he’s not a little boy. He can do his laundry and dishes and at least throw something in the oven like at least twice a week doesn’t have to be a fancy meal. He needs to man up and learn how to be a partner.
Not at all! He should be helping you out and you shouldn’t have to ask. Period. And if he wants to play that, I can play too. No more washing his dishes or doing his laundry. 
maybe when he doesn’t have any clean undies he’ll come around. He isn’t your child to take care of. You both are in it together!
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No! Your not wrong for wanting some help it’s exhausting. I’m a newly stay at home mom but my hubby helps out at least once a week with all the inside chores and deep cleaning he helps with the kids getting them bathed and ready for bed he has his days where he doesn’t help but communication is key before we moved to VA I was always constantly asking him to help and I felt I shouldn’t have to after all the asking finally now he just helps might not be always but I appreciate what he does my biggest problem is he doesn’t clean how I like it so I don’t really complain to much but everyone’s situation is different.
A real man helps his spouse when needed. It’s a partnership for a reason. It’s not like you are asking him to take on the responsibility of the house too. 
No you’re not over reacting. Stop doing his laundry if he won’t help.
No. Your husband is unfair and immature and takes you for granted.
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He needs to start doing his own laundry, and help with dishes & baths.
Ok, you tried the good way…now it’s turn for the bad way. Stop cooking for him. Stop washing his clothes, stop washing amything that he uses, just keep clean your kids and your stuff nice and tidy. He’ll end up needing clothes for work, and he’ll be hungry, and he’ll find himself with nothing. That…really works
Stay in the kitchen 
I’ll say what I tell every woman - train yuh man. I do not apologize for that statement. He never became so overnight. Lay down your laws from early in the relationship. “We both cook, we both clean, we both work hard, we both contribute to bills, we both spoil each other.”
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“If you’ve used it, wash it.” That is the cardinal rule in my childhood home. Nobody picks up after anyone else, even my mom for my dad, so it was always fair. I get that as a wife this may not be so easy but your husband may need to make certain comforts he’s gotten used to as a habit he’s doing for himself. The kids as well (depending on their age ofc) can help out as well. No one person should be more responsible than the other since everyone is equal under your roof. Right ?
Get a maid let him pay for it
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Some men is to lazy
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You have options 1) hire someone to help with the cleaning of the home and laundry could be once or twice a week let him pay the person 2) put aside one day to prep meals or cook and freeze meals, order out or go out to have dinner once a week hire help for twice a month could be every other Friday. 3) Don’t stress yourself sick do what you can do in and around the home, cooking is a priority, outside work can wait, hire someone to help with the in house day care (maybe 2 or 3 times a week)
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You can shape a persons behaviors by ignoring the things you don’t like and praising the things you do. Start by praising the things he already does. If he takes out the trash, even if it’s ‘his duty as a man’ reminds him of how much you appreciate the ‘little things’ and tell him how useful you find him. Right now you are telling him you appreciate how un-useful he is by focusing on only what he doesn’t do. You must re-train your own brain to look for the good in him. If we are going to play roles like ‘the wife’s job’ and the ‘mans job’ then remember part of being a supporting role is to build up your partner not tear him down. He can find any ole woman to do that for him. What makes a special woman is one who is willing to do what others are not. If he crosses a boundary find an appropriate time and place to address it in a fair manner and then let it go. Harping on your mans hang ups only makes you look like ‘ every other woman’. Consider treating him extra special when he does well. On days when he works on the yard make sure to run him out a tall glass of something cold to drink, remind the children to be extra specially kind so he can rest afterwards or pay special attention to him in bed and remember to compliment his hard work so he associates going the extra mile for you with your kind gesture. And remember changing ones self is a process that takes time and effort don’t beat yourself up (or your spouse) for getting it wrong, just focus on trying to get it right. Good luck!
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He needs to watch Dhar Mann videos how men supp to help d wife around d house n appreciate her. Otherwise don’t do 1 dam thing for him. Let him do his laundry cook his food n clean up after himself.
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He looking for horn. I’m kidding lol but I’m also not😒 Anyways once he loves you and values you- time to get assertive and set rules as the others said above.
Throw the whole man away… stay single 
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No he is a stubborn person not taught well by his Mom.
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Start by changing your inner language and the way you form your speak. He wouldn’t be “helping” you, he lives there too and he creates messes like all humans. You don’t have to “get him to help”… you have to set your boundaries and limits and not do any more than you can and is equitable. Start by saying you will no longer be doing his housework (his laundry his dishes) since you are too busy. Let him take care of himself first before you do. Get in touch with what is your responsibility and what is not. Just because your office is “at home” it in no way means you are responsible for everything and everyone who comes in and out of it and leaves a mess. Get in touch with what is equitable and what is not. Doing work constantly several times a day inside the home is not comparative to doing yard work once in a blue moon outside the home. Communication and boundaries on your part is imperative for you. Good luck!
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Sounds like you have a good arrangement except that he is still a father and it is his responsibility to help his partner with the children.
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First of all, my advice (for what it’s worth) is that you should give up the daycare and find work outside the house. By having an in-home daycare, you are effectively LIVING at your place of employment, and working there 24/7/365. No days off, no breaks, no nothing. Your “husband” isn’t really a husband. He is effectively another child you have to take care of…24/7/365, only you take care of him for free. What are you getting from him that you can’t provide for yourself? “Boys” are raised by a “mommy” who does everything the child is not able to do for himself. When “mommy” doesn’t realize that, at some point, she has to teach the little boy how to do the things he is capable of doing himself, she is effectively raising a grown child. Those “children” almost always marry another “mommy” who provided other “benefits” that biological mommy should not be providing. Some boys grow up, others don’t.
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He is too lazy …he suppose to help u n ur kids together… hire a maid he will pay for it …
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Stop washing his clothes and hire someone to come in and help clean a few hours a week.
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She still hasn’t said what " some help" means
So i Google what is the definition of a husband and the Bible perspective says…to love her, understand her, honour her, lead her, provide for her, sleep with her, be her spiritual partner…discuss these with him and see his perspective on each, then you have to decided what will work in your family, because everyone could tell you what you should do, but isn’t it more what he should do for you, so they say communication is key but if his communication is limited how can you get the support you need…just saying…you need to adjust based on your feedback from him…you need “support” not “help”…then you will now be able to give him the " praise" that he should get.
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I saw where u say your job is inside the house n his is outside and u still help him outside that right there shows u gave him bad habit now wants to change it as u are overwhelmed with your chores n job…simple shit sit down with the man n explain why he should help …
Go to page of Dhar Mann
Make sure you’re on the one that’s got a blue verified check on it (saying this because not all my posts hold onto the tag).
Look through his videos. There’s at least one dealing with this. There’s some others that are indirectly related to the issue as well.
If he still refuses to do his share of the housework, I recommend either setting up an intervention with a therapist as facilitator or choose between keeping the status quo vs saying sayanara. Being taken for granted is bad enough & shouldn’t be tolerated either. Being devalued is 1,000,000,000,000 times worse. When push comes to shove, he’s not keeping his marriage vows & treating you like a slave.
My goodness. Thats downright inconsiderate. I’ve always been a working mother and if i tired, ah dam tired. Work don’t dead. If he wanna see it a particular way now, then let him do it. My husband OCD and would clean anything out of place so no worries here. If you did the sit down and talk bit and it didn’t work, you shouldn’t have to beg. He heard you the first time he just didn’t care enough to do anything about it. If yuh not able take a rest and do it when you can. Simple. Stress manifests itself in so many physical illnesses its baffling. Don’t allow satisfying someone else to cause you health issues.
NO YOU’RE NOT OVER REACTING 
… Sad thing though , many men think like this ,they don’t contribute physically towards the home:pensive:… But why do women have to do all the house chores ,take care of our kids ,go out to work and still be a mother , maid and wife 
??? This is because we women were built stronger to handle any situation big or small… Most women don’t get any attention or affection from their husbands once we’re a house wife:pensive: ,they think we don’t bring an income , so we don’t have a life to voice our opinion… This is why we should value ourselves by taking at least 30 mins to relax , breathe freely , scream or even prayer and ask for guidance… So when he comes home you can be fresh as ever 
… This should be done daily when he’s not around ,take care of yourself , love yourself ,look into the mirror and talk to yourself ,tell yourself you’re beautiful , you’re not a maid you’re human and I’m worthy of love that’s why GOD has me here ,to love myself even though my husband doesn’t cherish me… My last words on this also is to approach him and say I was thinking we could both organize and make dinner together , I would appreciate a lil help today and make bar b q ,or something nice that the kids like … See how it goes . All the best … But always prayer GOD will guide you 
… Sending Hugs 
to all women 
…
Start to do everything halfway watch and see how he starts to help because he will want things a certain way ent. Sometimes u have to think outside the box and beat them at their games
Leave it right effing Dey let all the clothes/dishes/laundry and dust pile up
If u have time to still go outside to help why complain stay inside simple
Get the Molly maids in and send big boy the bill.
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He needs a boot to the head. I would not feed him or do his laundry. I definitely wouldn’t be going outside to do his work.
You are not a maid and are not obligated to do certain things but do what you can and the rest for another day don’t exert yourself and he himself could help you shouldn’t have to speak with him but in this case talk to him be frank and open if he refuses then hire someone to help no shame there
I dont know many house holds where this is not the norm.
This role divide is ancient.
Outside house work is always less and not as often.
You have to tackle this with drastic changes…
Ask for switching roles …
Or item per item
Garbage is one item…
So on that day u only do one item (easiest of course)
So you will cook on the day he cuts grass
On the day he needs is best out fit make sure it is soaking for laundry day which is once per month like the cleaning drains
It is a war we have to win by tactics.
Wait for all clothes to be dirty
And u waiting for wash day.
Dinner is good one to match…
Cook and leave all the dishes because cooking is your work
But not dishes.
Leave his laundry and his dishes, if he doesn’t like it show him the front door and tell him to shut it quietly on his way out.
A husbands/fathers job IS “NEVER DONE FOR THE DAY”.
Just think, he may “buy” the things to make a home. But who really makes it A HOME.
It’s 50/50. My husband works 7-3 in the morning, and I work 3-11, and we both EQUALLY do everything, actually him more than me he does ALL laundry, wash/fold/put away for our family of 4. And I do ALL Dishes, and we equally do the rest.
Since you BOTH work and you are not just a stay at home mom, he needs to pull his slack. Why did he bother having kids and getting married if he doesnt want to act like a family man?
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Your at home for 8 -12 hours doing what?
It shouldn’t be called “helping”… its called he needs to step up and take on some of thr chores because he lives there too. You aren’t his mama. Quit doing “his” stuff (laundry and dishes) and quit cooking for him. If he says it’s your “job” tell him you’re on strike for unfair wages and subpar working environment. 
Sounds like he’s over reacting. Seems like an excuse to be lazy. Honestly I’d stop cleaning up his things just for a week. Let him see how it feels doing the extra work. Don’t do his laundry or dishes or anything for him. He can pick up after himself. My husband works in the sun 12 hours a day some times and still manages to cook and clean, wash his dishes and his own clothes. He helps around the house etc.
On a side note folks only go as far as their allowed. Don’t allow the behaviors to continue with out speaking up or it’ll just get worse.
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Not overreacting. He might feel this way because u run a family day care not an excuse but if u can look after your own children and others then you can do all the house work type thing. Mayb don’t clean up and see how he starts to notice… he might realise how much you do!
not overreacting and definitely not alone. no help from me, just well wishes
He isn’t going to change. Live with the bastard, or better yet divorce his ass and claim alimony!
I do inside hubby does outside
But if I need help he will help me
But he works long hours so I’d rather he rested
No your not overreacting you just need to find a way to make him understand it’s a partnership in everything YALL do and that your not some slave that cooks clean and take care of the kids he helped make them so he needs to get off his ass and help out and stop being lazy cause just paying bills don’t cut it.
Women are more multitasking than men…
That’s just my opinion…
They go to work ( if your lucky enough to even have a man that works ) but then they think once they are home their day is done.
As women, mothers or even grandmothers we can go to work , take care of our children, cook , clean and still make time after they go to bed for ourselves…
If he is paying the Bill’s or at least helping you pay the Bill’s
Thank God for your blessing
Not everyone has someone to even do that much
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Your husband is broken…get a new one.
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Throw the whole husband out… you’re not going to get anywhere, especially if this isn’t the first time you’ve had to ask for “help”.
If you’re babysitting and supplying money to the household then you also work. He needs to help. I am a SAHM and don’t have income but my husband still helps me with dishes or laundry. He also does all the outside stuff. How old are your children, find age appropriate chores for them as well.
Also I’d quit doing his laundry and leave his dishes in the sink.
Leave his laundry , his dishes to him. Cook for only you and the kids. Let the kids learn to help out around the house. My toddler is on picking up garbage duty. Let him get mad or he won’t wake up
Get a Clening girl once a week
It’s life changing
Me being an older man who does try to help out her is my 2 cents worth. Dont do his laundry and cook for you and the kids for a while. See whathappens then. Also quit helping him outside its his job according to him
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My husband never replaced the toilet paper wgen it ran out. I acted lije it was too difficult: Me" can’t get this darn toilet paper thing to stay on. " Husband “it’s easy. This is how you do it. Just watch.” I believe that was the first time he put toilet paper on the roll. So I just replied "so you do know how to replace the toilet paper ".We both laughed and that was the last time he replaced the toilet paper, then I divorced him:rofl:
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Plan a 1 week get away for yourself. It’s strictly “me time”. Do it around his vacation time so he has to keep your kids.Nothing like a little first hand experience, to value what you do. On your return, before you resume the household chores have the discussion on the need for additional help around the home. Ask him to take on specific tasks or hire someone to help. Let him know you value him and would like to give a better, less tired, less stressed version of yourself to your husband. Make it about him and see the difference. In the meantime, acknowledge and commend him for anything he does to assist, you are re-training him.
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How old are your kids? What responsibilities do they have? My son was in first grade when he started doing his laundry, with my help at first. He had three loads, a light, dark and bedding. He was very proud of his independence. As an adult now, he felt very confident when he moved out in being able to take care of himself and his apartment. Everyone in the house had their own night each week to do their own laundry. If you can afford someone to come in and clean, go for it! They can do the bathrooms, dusting, and whatever jobs you want help with.
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Hell, no. A marriage is a partnership. If you cook then he should clean up and do the dishes etc. Who is he to say what your “job” is….I wouldn’t be in a marriage like this. He is your husband….not your boss.
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I am not sure about the in home daycare how much of the mess comes from that and how old are your kids if they are old enough they should have chores…my next question is what type job does he have, I grew up in the traditional setting my mom was a stay at home mother she took care of the house and my father did the yard work if he was raised this way he will not change…
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A few missed meals and dirty underwear might give him a clue since he takes it for granted…
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Nope, you’re not overreacting. He could at least clean up after himself - his dishes and laundry. That’s at least a start. You’re not his maid. I’ve actually told previous members of my house either clean up behind yourself or it’s in the trash. I’ll give it a couple of days, then if it’s still there, it goes in the trash. Amazing how they move to get their things picked up if they know it’s trash bound.
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Quit doing his laundry because you don’t have time , when you are doing everything else on your own, when he has nothing to wear, maybe he will get a clue!! My husband has always helped me with the house and the kids, start re training him, you are not his slave , you’re his partner.
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Well I for sure wouldn’t be helping him outside any more. Not trying to be petty but if he can’t do anything inside you have enough on your plate already. Btw get some cleaning help in to deep clean once a week. If he complains remind him you asked him for help so now he can pay for somebody to come in
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Stop doing anything and everything for him! He will catch on when he has no clean clothes, no self care supplies , non of his favorites to eat. Treat him like a roommate.then when he questions you say that you thought you were in a partnership but just realized you live with a roommate! Having a partner means they are partly responsible the same as you are partly responsible.
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My husband died when I was 35. What I would give to clean up house and do his clothes again. These things should be done out of Love and never taken for granted!
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Leave HIS laundry alone, don’t cook dinner 2X a week, order food AFTER he comes home, just feed the kids a little dinner or snack to tide them over, don’t make HIS side of the bed, I would say dishes but that would not look good. Let him realize it’s not always easy. Also if he ever asks for a drink or remote don’t give it to him, vaccumm when he’s watching tv things like that. I think you get the idea
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Stop doing his laundry stop having his meals ready stop washing any dish he dirties and when the house is a mess because he hasn’t cleaned up behind himself and when he wants to know wth is going on just say since you grown and you “made a mess” so you get to clean it. He’ll get the idea and help or he’ll be eating off dirty dishes wearing dirty clothes!
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Let me just say this…it’s never one or the others job you are in a household together. You have kids together therefore responsibilities together. I hate when men make it seem like what they do counts for more!!! He should be helping even if the mess comes from “your” job he doesn’t mind spending the money together does he?? I think maybe you should take a step back in the things you do for him!! It’s not a woman’s job to take care of a man, and you work hard too!! Take a step back you need to get your mental health in place too. Wishing you the best!!!
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Good Luck! I tried that with my husband. He knew if he ignored “his cleaning job”, I would eventually do it anyway. (I only asked him to help with housework after he retired from his outside job)
Nope. (he passed away last year… and I miss arguing with him🤣)
I am one lucky girl, my husband helps me with everything inside outside kids you name it and i help him as well we are a team we both work. I would say dont help him out with his duties dont due his laundry or cook for him.
I don’t understand some people. My ex would do his own laundry and make his own meals. However, we had 2 young kids at the time and he would not clean up their things or make dinner for them. He wouldn’t take them to McD (but would eat it in front of them) or the park. He forgot to pick the oldest up from K and therefore never did the school run again. Wouldn’t babysit his own kids but got mad that I didn’t have a job outside the house. When our youngest broke her arm he was mad that he had to miss his pt jobs and stay with older kid. He told his work couldn’t come in because wife was out and not home yet. Made it sound like I was out shopping instead of sitting in ER with 3 year old.
My ideas:
Let the housework go for a couple days.
Use paper plates and plastic utensil
Serve him TV dinners OR
Sandwiches and chips for dinner.
Take a seat on the couch when your daycare closes.
Take a nap when he gets home.( too tired to cook )