How can I get my husband to treat his anxiety?

How can I keep my relationship with my significant other when he refuses to treat his anxiety? We’ve been together almost 17 years, and our kids are 12 and 13. In the last few years, his anxiety has really increased, yet he refuses to treat it and barely acknowledges it most of the time. We’ve added a couple of fur kids to our home since the pandemic, and that seems to have made it worse. He doesn’t help with inside housework at all but likes to constantly accuse us of being dirty and unorganized. He doesn’t help with the dogs at all, the kids and I take care of them completely, but if one of them makes a mess or causes the slightest irritation, it causes him to go off the handle, as do most small things. He does have a full-time job and takes care of the house outside, and we start to tense up before he gets home from work, wondering what kind of mood he’ll be in; he can change the collective mood so quickly, and I hate it. I also have a full-time job and handle most everything for the kids. I’ve mostly taken it in stride and tried to be as understanding as I can, but lately, it’s led to nothing but shouting matches, some in front of my kids, which I hate myself for doing. I’ve begged him to talk to his doctor, but he refuses to entertain the idea of medication, or much else, really. What can I do to try to save our relationship?


You simply can’t help someone who won’t help them self. If you have tried to live with this and it’s obviously affecting not only you but your children too, I would give him an ultimatum. Either he sees a doctor and tries to sort himself out or you leave. It’s not fair on you or your children to have to put up with his mood swings and irrational outbursts if he isn’t willing to change or help himself.

I went thru simething similar with my boyfriend of almost 15 years now but about a year in a half ago he ended up having an brain aneurysm that erupted 2 of them actually but in the hes as good as could be for what happend . but long story short the drs said that the aneurysm was part of the my way or all hell to pay attitude

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I get my husband to treat his anxiety?

Doesn’t sound like anxiety hun, sounds lazy to me more than anything but I’m no doctor.


Talk to him about it. Let him know a change has to be made.

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Talk to his doctor for him. If he refuses to seek help you might have to leave to get him to see how serious it is.


Anxiety can definitely manifest in all the ways you mentioned. Best advice I can give you is tell him he needs to get some help and support as it’s ruining your relationship, or leave until he gets help or completely walk away

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Be careful with this. Walking on eggshells like this will cause ur brain’s limbic system to stay on alarm. That’s a part of the brain only supposed to be switched in emergencysituations. This may cause you to end up needing mental health care to heal too.


Roll him a joint for when he gets home…its great for moods and anxiety.


You tell him to try to deal with his issues or you are done. Nobody should live walking on egg shells because their partner can’t be bothered to get to the bottom of his issues.


It sounds like he may be bipolar. I know, because I have it and little things can set me off. Try marriage counseling. Do some research on it, because it’s a serious matter. As far as the medication goes, maybe he’s tried it all and none of em work?


It honestly sounds as if there may be more than the anxiety going on. Often times with men, they become embarrassed about things like this which creates anger and irrational behaviors that are projected onto those they love. Sadly, if he truly isn’t willing to seek help of any kind, it may be best for you all to have a separation from each other. As stated above, living in an environment like this can cause trauma and rewire the brain so that its programmed for fight or flight at the slightest occurrence. That is an alarming possibility for you and for your children and can take many years to heal from. I’d suggest a last and very sincere heart to heart if you wish to maintain this relationship and if the outcome remains the same, it may be time to explore options for you and the children living elsewhere for a time. Maybe that is what its going to take for him to realize the effect his behavior is having on his family. Sending so much love and healing to you all!

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I have anxiety and when I don’t take my medicine I don’t feel like doing anything. I get depressed and in a very low state. He needs to do something now! I haven’t had my medicine for a few months and I’m at the point now where I won’t leave the house.

How old is he?
My neighbor went through this and mens testosterone starts to drop as they age and causes quite the mood swings until they re adjust. Just a thought on maybe why. Wish he would see the doc for ya!

Don’t add animals to chaos . Tell him how you feel and something needs to be done. I wondering what he does that you think its anxiety.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I get my husband to treat his anxiety?

Poor man ,sit down with him calmly and explain how it’s affecting you.most men won’t seek help as they see it as a weakness ,maybe even speak to his closest mate he may be able to have a yarn to him :disappointed_relieved:

Make it clear that you and your children shouldn’t have to walk on eggshells in your own home, tell him you love him and you’re there for him but if he doesn’t get help then he’ll have to leave. It’s not fair to anyone to continue the way it’s going and while there’s not an easy fix, medications and/or therapy can help a lot, but if he isn’t willing to put forth the effort to get himself help for everyone’s sake, he needs to go. You cannot force him to get help if he doesn’t want to, but he also can’t force you and your children to live on edge waiting for his next tantrum, it will end up causing issues for everyone involved. I’m not trying to sound cold here, I have been there and some times are going to be more difficult that others, he’ll have to decide between his pride (or whatever else may be stopping him from getting help) and his family’s well being.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I get my husband to treat his anxiety?

He really needs to speak to someone and quickly before escalates any further. Good luck. Not nice living walking on eggshells. Watched my mother do it for years with my dad and vowed never to let my kids see it. Be as supportive as u can if it gets unbearable take the kids for a walk to calm the situation . X hope it goes ok x

I’m so sorry. I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder which also started getting out of control. I was constantly one edge with my hubby. I started to notice a lot of negative changes and was scared I would ruin my relationship. I finally got the guts to talk to my PCP. I was put on Lexapro and I think it changed my life for the better. My marriage improved significantly, including sex life. My hubby noticed the positive change. Literally, my life is better now because doesn’t control me, I’m able to manage it. I wish you both the best and I hope he realizes what’s at stake, as I did.

Get rid of him before u end up with a ulcer

Does he see his Dr at all???
If so phone his Dr and let him or her know of the situation…then when he goes Dr can bring it up…
Good luck…very hard situation