It’s a process and you’d have to get approval from their father. I looked into it. But I gave all my kids my maiden name as one of their middle names(they all have 4 names, twins from my ex and a daughter with my now husband) , maybe you could add your name like that?
From what I’ve read she wants both last names…equal… people saying “bitter betty” and petty … like WHAT? Sounds like she still wants it to be a family even if not married so the kids have both last names. Maybe something to help her with the dynamic of how their family is now. Either way the last name isnt taking away from dad so I don’t get the mean comments.
If you wanna change it , that’s YOUR decision . It’ll cost a good bit of money , and his permission . But if yall were once engaged , I don’t see why he wouldn’t agree . Just remember tho , if you get married and the husband wants to adopt , it’ll be more money and a lot of Hassel . Because then the baby daddy will be bitter and not want to give permission to change it . Just really think it over . They are your babies , and have half of you (tbh all of you , but by blood it’s only half lol) . Best wishes to you I don’t think your being a bitter woman .
Contact your counties probate court. Theyll tell you what you have to do.
You do realize you can give a child any last name you wish at birth. It does not have to be yours. So that being said… Do you realize how many kids are walking around with names that aren’t family names as a last name because the mother/father didn’t like theirs or wanted to be different. The name is nothing but a sound we answer too so it doesn’t exactly matter. That’s just unnecessary drama and money. The kids will not care.
Back 50 years ago all we had to do was get our Social Security Card in the name we wanted. All my siblings and I used my Step-Dads last name in school and got our SS cards with his name. Doubt they make it that simple today.
I wasn’t married to my kids father. All 3 of my daughters have my last name / Madian name . I married some else years later. My girls still have my Madian name - they are girls so when they marry they will change their name -
I kept my ex’s last name FOR my kids. I’ll possibly change it later in life. Customary for kids to have fathers name. Even though he’s a POS.
Iv changed my sons last name through deed poll, wasnt the same reason as yours but it can be done, I didnt need his permission either and it cost me £10. A child does NOT have to have the fathers last name
Please think about your children on this. Its so much easier for them to have one name. My twins have their fathers last name and not mine and we are not together. It may seem like a big deal now, but it won’t later. Let it go. There are so many other real problems we have to face as mothers, this doesnt have to be one. Jmo
Dont do it. My names hyphenated due to the same issue and it’s been an issue my whole life. Trust me. Dont put him/her through that
Personally, at best I think this is petty, and at the worst short sighted. Plans change, people change. Life isn’t perfect. So what. I think in your head, you had this picture of how it was all supposed to be, and it was in your reach. But now every last shred has been destroyed, and now that it’s gone, you’re still angry about it. My advice is, don’t go this route. Don’t fall into that trap. Give your children the part of you that does NOT come from a piece of paper. They have YOU. They have your blood running through their veins. They have the memories you’ve made and will still continue to make in the future. They have the lessons you will teach them and the the guidance you give them. Don’t waste the precious time you DO have worrying about something that doesn’t matter and will eventually change anyways. When you you do get married, you’re still going to have the same exact problem you do now. Is this in YOUR best interest, or is it truly about your kids. I think we both know that answer.
Just go to the courts for a name change your adding to not completely changing
Having a hyphenated last name SUCKS. Mine is Delyria-Villasenor & I wish I had just one! Please just keep it how it is.
In my state it must be approved by father and cost a couple hundred dollars
Girl I did that to my son when he was born and if you are in the states believe me when I say it’s a pain in the ass for income tax purposes. My younger two have just their dads last name.
They are still apart of you because you had them. A last name doesn’t change that. As they get older they can drop your last name thru the courts cuz of how troubling it will be and you would have spent so much money on it for nothing. If their dad is a great dad to THEM then leave their last name alone.
Also a side note. Majority of states don’t allow name change unless father gives the okay. So good luck with that.
This is so stupid and would be a waste of money. They have their fathers last name… that’s typically how it goes. If them also having your last really mattered then why was it not given to them at birth?. This is only being done because YOU want to be included…I can guarantee the kids will not care.
My kids are hyphenated and we are married. Ignore the idiots calling you bitter. Call your local statistic office
Depending on where you live. I know when I tried it, all I needed was a paper filled out and notarized with mine or dads info, and sent in to vital records in the state they were born in. When my 11 year old told me she wanted my last name too I contacted her dad he was okay with it and I called my state here I’d have to go thru a attorney and paper to do it. It just depends on where you are. I’d recommend calling your states vital records and see what the process is
File a name change with the court
Depends on where you live. Where I am, I either need the father to sign paperwork allowing it and I have to pay around $530 to file it. Or, run ad in paper for x amount of days and if no response from father, pay the $530. Also, either way, it goes before a judge, and I will have to explain why it’s in child’s best interest to have last name changed.
You have to go to your social security office and file for a name change and request it. Just like when you get married. You’d also have to get new birth certificates after getting new social security cards, and also change all their paperwork with schools Drs ect. Really more trouble than its worth tbh. I would just leave it.
Don’t hyphenate! He is their father, keep the last name. I kept my married last name because I preferred it to my own but only because it’s “nicer” if I ever get remarried my kids and I will have a different last name. There’s no reason to add yours to theirs and that’s a lot of hassle to have them write it all out etc. Leave it alone.
Do whatever the fuck you want. Ask your kids what they want. This is 2019, and you are not obligated to keep their name any way beyond what you all decide you want.
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You need to go through the court and get his permission for a legal name change. There are different processes for every state.
Still their dad unfortunately… They are your bloodline… Does the name really matter?
I don’t mean to be rude. Again…not being rude. But if your children having the same last name of you was so important you would have gotten married BEFORE their births. That’s just how it goes.
There are some hateful people here. Thats the only down fall about this page. If you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say it. She didnt ask for anyones opinion she asked how hard it would be and if anyone could steer her in the right direction. Not call her names like bitter or tell her to leave it alone because you think she’s mad. Whose really bitter here? The woman asking how hard changing her childs name is or the women who for whatever reason decide that she couldn’t possibly have a good motive it must be because shes angry and bitter. Some of these women need to grow up!!
Well if parent dont consent wait til child becomes legal age and have child chsnge last name themselves
Go to your local court house and fill out paperwork, serve the father and file, they will give you a court date and if I were you I’d come up with a better reason like they will have a different last name than you so it will be questioned every time you enroll them for school, for Doctor’s appointments, dental appointments, and any other times you’ll say their last name being different from yours. Is your Ex willing to hyphenate their names? If so the process is a lot easier.
I think you have to go to the social security office. It all depends on where you live
Go for it but contact a lawyer who can help you navigate the legalities
I can totally understand, if I wasn’t married I would give my kids my last name. I’m sure if you call your court house they can tell you what you need to do. It may depend on your state for where you need to go.
No part of you? Umm did you not pick the first and middle names? Are you not related? 🤦🤦 They have part of you
All of my kids have their fathers last name we are still together 18 years it’s a running joke in our house that I’m the only Boswell used to bother me having to explain who I am doctors school etc but you have every right to have your last name for the kids too I’m glad your not like some mums who want dads name removed completely
I changed my son’s last name. All you do is fill out the back of the birth certificate. The only time you need a lawyer or court order is if the father refuses to sign the back of the birth certificate.
always feel free to message me screen shots of rude comments and I will handle them. We appreciate all of you. It takes a village!
Ask your kids what they want. Just because you’re divorced doesnt make the kids divorced. I’d leave that up to them tbh. But that’s just me.
Go to court and ask for the paperwork to change name of dependents. Would be the route I think you’d go?
I was married and then got divorced. I asked my children how they felt about me going back to my maiden name. They asked me to keep it because it’s part of them…so I did. Regardless of how my ex and I feel about each other, he did give me 2 amazing young men.
You just need to file a petition to hyphenate their last names. MOST judges will grant hyphenating last names even if the other parent doesn’t agree with it because it isn’t getting rid of the other parents last name, just adding your last name to their name. My kids all either have just my last name, or have hyphenated last names. 4 have just my last name, and their dad (my ex husband) had to agree to it to be just my last name and two have hyphenated last names, and their dad (my husband) did not have to agree to it for them to be hyphenated. After the judge orders/grants the name change you have to get a certified copy of the order and take it to the social security office to order new cards with the new names. Then you have to change their names for their insurances, school, doctors offices etc. It can be a huge pain to have all their records changed. Then you also need a certified copy of the orders to have their birth certificates changed to the new hyphenated last names also.
Honestly. They are apart of you. Their names have NOTHING to do with it. Without YOU carrying them for 9 months they would not be here. They will have apart of you for the REST of their life. 🤷 I would just leave the names alone momma. Just be the best momma you can be
I think it takes the other parent 100%agree. An Attorney and court date.
Your kids are a part of u…u made them.
I wish the laws would allow a one time free name change for kids when in this situation!! I would love to change or hyphenate my daughters last name with a hassle and paying such fees!!
My last name is, so probably not hard. I think the first name change is free
Depends the state you’re in I would say. I personally wanted to take off my last name from my daughters hyphenated last name because at certain places like daycare and even at the doctors, theyd think her last name was mines so theyd disregard dads last name and its honestly a hassle. I asked what was the process to have my last name taken off. Lady told me I would have to go to court, take dad with me because I’d need his permission, court would have to approve it and I’d pay a fee of about $500 to have my last name removed. Yeah no. I’m not going through all that lol. I shouldve just stuck with dads last name but I thought what if we were to ever marry they (our kids) could have both last names, but honestly it’s a hassle when places put only one or mix up which is the last name that is used. My son only has dads last name and it’s so much easier
i understand why you want to and my ex got super mad at me bc i gave my son my last name instead of his. but im glad i did. but the schools will “hyphenate it” to prove your their mom. it will cause a lot of problems down the road with hyphanting their names. but if its what you want u have to go through the courts and get the fathers permission
So what if you get married? You going to change their names again to match your new one?
Is it just me or do all the posts regarding last names of children sound more like a petty ownership type thing like writing your name on a toy because you want everyone to know it’s yours?
I kept my married name after the divorce for the kids. Changed it later on to my maiden name after they were old enough to understand it
Don’t hyphenate. Put your surname as a middle name, or his. Whichever you both agree to. Hyphenated names make it harder to get ID to match. Passports don’t hyphenate, so licence ID won’t match…
Our son has 2 worded surname, mine then my partners.
My daughter had my last name for her 1st 8 years. It took a judge to hyphenate her last name to his then mine (since she had mine longer it was the main at the end). After its approved just update things with the schools/doctors/sports/etc. Updating social security cards is a lot longer of a process and may not be worth it to you.
It’s a hyphen shes asking about right? Not to erase HIS last name. Calm. Down. People.
How petty it was good enough for their first years I don’t get it their name has nothing to do with who their mum is
Just change your name to their last name? You dont need to marry someone to change your name
My mother hyphenated her last name to include our last name. It made it so much easier on my sister and I growing up but yet we still had the connection between us 3. When she remarried she changed her last name but still kept our hyphenated. Just a thought.
Ijs sounds like a bitter baby momma
just do it yourself!!!
Ypu sound bitter and immature and it is literally a hyphen it wont change a thing.
And what if you get married later to someone else?
My son has my exs last name, never even thought about changing it, that’s his dad, hes half him so he can have his name, seems like alot of effort to go through, but each to their own.
I dunno why people are telling her to get over it and stop being petty. She asked advice on how to get it done, not IF she should do it. It’s her want, and her decision. Just help the girl out if you have a good answer. Jesus Christ.
I hyphenated my boys names for a family reason. Now divorcing, I’m so glad I made that decision when I did.
Y’all rude af telling her she being bitter and immature. How?? I feel like her maybe taking away his last name from them completely…maybe. but she’s not. Y’all sound immature for even telling her to get over it. It’s her life her children and her choice. She asked for step by step on how to do it not if and what y’all think about it. So if you don’t have any step by step helping info for her then mind ya business and don’t comment:speaking_head: