My children have my ex’s last name. We split up, and I would like to hyphenate their names with his last name and mine. How easy is this to do? I’m not trying to change their name to just mine; I just want to hyphenate it. The plan was to always end up with the same last name as my children as we were engaged, but now that that’s not happening, it doesn’t sit right with me that my children have no part of me as far as the last name is concerned. The process for doing this, and how easy was it to get done?
I may be wrong but dad might have to also agree on the name change
You and their dad will have to agree to get their names changed and will have to pay at the social security office for it to be done
Have to file with the courts and pay for each child and you will have to get the fathers approval because even though ur just adding ur name your still technically changing jt
I did this for my child at birth.
You have to go to the social security office. I believe it costs money
The dad will probably have to agree. I’m not sure if you have to go through court or not though
Go to the court house, or wherever you have to go to get birth certificates etc in your town, and ask for a name change form.
You carried them for 9 months and literally birthed them.
They are a part of you.
But I think you need dad’s permission.
Go in to your local town hall to find out. It’s possible and costs about$100.
What if you get married down the road? Then your last names wouldnt be the same anyways
Its about 1000 depending on ur state
Dad will have to agree. My son just took mine and his siblings new name
Legally, if he is on the birth certificate, you can’t do it behind his back. The court will notify him that you’re wanting to change the name and he will have a chance to object to the change if he wants
Just be aware people screw up my daughter’s hyphenated last name all the time. And on her license there won’t be a hyphen, our state doesn’t use them even though it’s on her social security card
He has to sign off on that it’s expensive too
In fl a name change cost us over 500
You would have to go to your local social security office and fill out a name change form there may or may not be a fee, but after doing so they would need a new social security number. In some states you can go to the health clinic to get a new birth certificate.
Why not leave your kids out of your disputes with your ex.
In CA you have to go to court and file for it to be changed. The dad has to either agree or not show up for it to be granted. Any changes to a birth certificate has to be done through a court order. If its left blank and your just adding information you can go straight to the hall of records or wherever the BC is issues from and take proper documents and add info but changing requires a court order signed by a judge then you go and get a revised BC and then a revised SSC.
That’s just mean, imo
You have to go through court the same way if you changed their entire last name. A judge has to approve.
Honestly, I would just leave it. That is their name. I just can’t see making a big fuss. I have a different last name than my child simply because his dad and I aren’t married yet. We’ve been together 22 years, he’s 14. It’s never been an issue.
I do not know the procedure maybe get legal advice on that? My husband went by stepfathers name since he was 3 -4 years old. Never adopted. When in military he changed it legally to Stepfathers name as that was all he used for years. Don’t know how his Mom handled that when he went to school though. My daughter in law and her daughter changed daughters name but she was older so it was daughters choice.
Its a form you download online. Fill it out, both sign it have it notarized mail in with a check.
I don’t know if it works the same way but I considered changing my daughter last name to mine because her dad has no part of her life and I was told all I need to do is when I change it have it run in a newspaper once a week for four weeks. I think its like that because that way if the father sees it he has the option to contest it. But in my case if I was to do it he wouldn’t see it anyways because he’s in a different state and they said it had to run in the newspaper in the county I live in. I dropped it though because my daughter don’t want to change her last name. Well anyways this is in California and I know other states might be different
That’s dumb. Leave their names alone and grow up. They didn’t break up with anyone you did and that’s still their father…
In Iowa you can file yourself online, and it costs $185. But if he is legally the father (on birth certificate, signed paternity affidavit, etc) he has to approve.
A rose by any other name is still a rose. Just saying. My daughter has her father’s last name and he’s an abusive drug addicted alcoholic. We’ve been split well over 3 years and I wouldn’t change hers. He is still part of her and her part of me no matter what the last name is. A name doesn’t define a person. She is a wonderful in dependant little lady and that’s what counts to me not her last name. But that is just me. Name changes can be expensive. Research your area and call around for pricing information. It may dif in your area and get their fathers approval. Honestly, it’ll be a lot for them to write out too possibly and to learn.
The father will have to agree with it and it can be expensive. My daughter has her bio dads last name. It bugged me at first but I was bitter about the whole situation. I’m now married and my daughter still has her bio dads last name.
My children’s names are like that. They have both my mans and mine. But we did it on the birth certificates
You need fathers father’s permission
My son doesn’t share my last name. He has his dad’s last name. He will never share my last name. To me, my children should have their dads last name whether that be mine or not.
Both my kids last names are hyphenated but i didnt have to change em theyve been that way their whole lives
For all of you saying that she’s being petty, or being stupid, or what may have you, she’s not completely changing their last names. They will still have their fathers last name, she just wants them to have her last name too. People do it all the time. It’s understandable. She wants her children to have her last name, but doesn’t want to take their fathers last name away from them, that is why she’s hyphenating it.
Dont listen to all these rude comments. If the dad is willing you should have no problem. Its not like you are trying to take his name out you just want your name in too whitch is completely reasonable. Nothing wrong with that at all.
From a mama with a different last name from her oldest babe -
my husband wants to adopt my boy… he is all for it, but he wants to keep his last name. It is apart of him, and the last thing of his bio dads to hold onto.
I don’t mind, as long as he is happy. Of course I want my baby to share a name with me, but ultimately, it doesn’t matter as long as he happy.
Petty and childish. Hate the baby daddy not the baby.
Get a lawyer n change name
Let’s think about this logically. What if you get into a new relationship years down the road and end up with another child. Would you hyphenate that child’s name to? What if you an the new man get married and you take his last name? Will you then change your first two children’s names again to be hyphenated to your new last name?
Leave it alone. It’s not something worth worrying over or dealing with.
Dont understand why you think the kids dont have a part of you because of their last name, they have both of dad and mom blood , looks and so on, a name is their father’s last name which is normal , even if you would have got married it still isnt your family name by birth, I say let it alone! If it was so important you should have done it at birth
Leave it Mama my older 2 have different last names then my younger 2 who have my so last name my oldest o was 16 and that relationship didn’t last long he has both mine and his dad my 2nd has her dad’s last name hell me and my little sis have different last name then my older 2 siblings it happens and we are still very close
It shouldnt bother you at all. Whats in a name right? …my oldest child has my last name because me and his dad werent together when he was born. Were married now and have two more kids who have his last name. Theyve never said “why does he have a different name?”…theyre brothers it doesnt matter what name they have. Why do they have to have your last name? You carried them and gave birth to them and are raising them…a name will not make anything better or worse.
When I read the post, I read that she was asking for advice on how to change the name. NOT ANYONE’S PERSONAL OPINION!!!
What happens if you re-marry? Change it again?
I would call vital statistics in your state and ask them how it’s done.
I understand wanting your child to share your last name as well. Just remember you may need to hyphenate your last name as well if you get married so your child will still share a name with you.
He has to agree with it and sign the papers. Or you have to prove to a judge that changing how their names are somehow benefits them in the long run. So most likely since u dont have a legit reason other than u want the same name as them the judge will deny it.
It depends on what state you live in. In PA, if you want to change the name you have to go to court and do it. They charge a fee and they ask you to advertise in 3 newspapers local to the child’s father that you’re changing the name. He’ll have to either dispute it or do nothing. If he does nothing, they’ll change it no problem. At least that’s how it was done fifteen years ago.
So if you get married down the line and change your name to your new husbands name are you going to change your kids name again? Of course you can keep it but then let’s day you have kids with your husband? What then? I know of never in a million years agree to hyphenate my kids last names.
It’s almost 2020. It’s time to grow up and stop worrying about last names. It’s just a name. You’d have to try them new social security cards and insurance cards and change it with the schools and doctors and every other place that has it.
You bitter, we get it…why didn’t you do this at birth?? You weren’t married yet but it wasn’t a problem then?? All of a sudden it’s a problem?? Grow up!
My youngest has 2 last names.I have a terriable time trying 2 tell people this .Far as government papers its terriable
Wow all these comments bashing. I don’t understand the issue!
For the OP, just contact someone at your local courthouse and ask there. They can point you in the right direction.
Do it fuck what everyone else is saying if it will make you feel better do it. Theres nothing wrong with having both names I know a lot of people who do this. Your going to have to change everything though, birth certificates, any of their cards and if I’m not mistaken you need to pay to have it put on there. Good luck!
Pain in the ass and expensive. I’d leave it personally
I’d leave it… my 1 older son has my last name and I figured his dad would fight to have it changed when we went to court…(we were young and it took him 2 yrs to grow up…but anyways) he never fought to change it and he has my last name along with his other brother… but my 2 younger kids have their dads last names and regardless if we split or not I feel they should keep it bc it’s their family name. But you could also wait until they are older and let them decide which name they want.
I believe the other parent would have to agree to the change to and you would have to pay to change it that’s all I know I know how this can feel but if this is fresh I’d give it a little bit best of luck
They’re no less your child if their names aren’t hyphenated.
Why is everyone saying she is petty because she wants to hyphenate her kids name? My mom hyphenated mine at birth its really not that big of a deal. She is not taking away the fathers name she just wants to add her own. For the OP unfortunately i do not know the process since it is different than changing the name all together but don’t listen to these people saying you sound petty or bitter it’s not that big of a deal to have a hyphenated name, I would want the same name as my kids too.
Coming from a kid that had a hyphenated name, don’t do it. It’s more of an annoyance for a kid than anything. Just let them have their dad’s last name.
You have to go to court.
My kids have their dads last name. We will never have the same last name. We were engaged. Split up now and I’m married. So they’ll never have my last name. But they’re still and always will be apart of me. Them having their dads last name doesn’t change they and doesn’t bother me and never will that’s their dad regardless of my feelings for him. They’ll always be apart of me too.
Courthouse pay and change name.
Lord have mercy 99% of you are ruthless and downright RUDE. She didn’t ask for your snotty opinions on IF she should do it. She asked you HOW to get it done. Sorry I have no advice but there are other groups with better people hun.
I was grown but my dad adopted me or should I say paid a lawyer for a name change. It was $1500. But, to change my sons name to his for him to be my child’s grandparent, the father had to give written permission. My husbands daughters mom, somehow had his rights taken away, had her husband adopt her daughter and change her last name.
If he agrees to it, it’s a fairly easy process. You can find the paperwork online, both have to sign and submit it to court. You will have a hearing and the judge will sign it. I did this with my children and have no regrets
I want to change my daughters too… when I tried before when she was younger, they told me I had to get the fathers consent and pay a $200 fee. It was so much of a hassle trying to get him to sign off on it bc he lives in a different state I just gave up. I regret it bc now shes used to his last name and doesnt want to change it. I hope one day my daughter will be open to changing it. So I say go to your local court, get the papers, pay the fee and do it asap.
My granddaughter has father and mothers name and can use either one. I say go for it.
The only way you can get their names changed is if their father consents to it. Otherwise you’re out of luck. You can still change your last name to theirs. Easier and cheaper.
Dont do it!!! My parents did this to me and I HATED having 2last names!! Kids were mean about it and MOST time i refused to use them both and just used my dads name anyways.
Please think before doing this. As what if you meet a guy later on down the road and get married then. You will have the same last name as your kids then. Just really think a out it. And do your research on it and also make sure you have their father’s permission also. But other then all that it is your choice if you want to do this.
I wanted to change by sons names when their father and I divorced. I was going to give them my maiden name and habe mine replaced as well. I never got around to it. Then when I remarried and had another child my sons wanted their stepdads last name so that all of us had the same last name. But their bio dad woild never agree to it
I would just leave it… Its easier having 1 last name. Growing up with kids that had both parents last name it was annoying for them. They ended up going with the first last name anyway.
Leave it. My older two kids and I have the same last name. My youngest has a different last name. I dont understand why this is such a big deal to people. Its just a name.
In today’s world and love rarely lasting forever… think ahead people Yes you have to go to court. Partner and I together 8 years not married… He didn’t have a choice hyphenated our baby girls last name Yes I understand it can be annoying but only when it comes to the main documents Schooling etc she can just use one last name
So my husband and I weren’t married when we had our first. I hyphenated his name and it was a horrible choice. Nothing but issues with our insurance. We’re married now and his last name is being changed to just my husbands because I’ve had it with all the issues it causes.
A name does not make them a part of you.
Hyphenated names will make travel easier as well. As far as i know you get a form at city hall fill it out, pay money and might need dads permission. We hyphenated our kids names when they were born because we wanted them to carry on both our names. We are engaged we are thinking of just both hyphenating our names to match when we get married and be a unique new clan lol Good luck! Dont worry about the negative comments above i dont think those people read the whole thing or something all the hate doesnt make sense.
Well she didn’t ask for all the bashing it really doesn’t matter to each his own and I guess I wouldn’t want to do it but if she wants to do that it’s certainly her business she just asked if anyone knows how to go about it I don’t but I’m assuming she could contact an attorney is probably going to cost some money and they’ll have to go to court when I got divorced someone asked me why I didn’t change my name back which I know is a different situation but I’ve been I had been at that time my married name longer than I was my single name and I didn’t really think about it that I think could have been done at the same time as the divorce but I didn’t think to do it didn’t need to do it but as far as the name change I as I said I think you have to contact an attorney and go to court and just that simple and no need to be bashing this poor lady who wants to hyphenate she didn’t say she wanted to get rid of the dad’s name just put her name on with it I think it will be a little harder for the kids but you know what kids are resilient they’ll get over it you’ll get used to it
Since you trolls seem to have missed it, The admins posted that they will be banning the rude unsupportive people, I.e., you. I am being generous in screenshotting and taking your names and messaging the admins with them. Anyone who’s sick of these rude people should do the same.
What happens if you remarry? Do you change theirs again?
You have to go to court and legally change it which I believe requires both parents consent as well as a judges.
I think depends where you’re located.
I have both my parents names. My mom did it that way at birth but you should be able to quite easily
Call your courthouse or go to their web page and get the information. Your just adding your last name to theirs, not excluding their dads name so I don’t see that it would be to difficult to do or that the father would object to it. As for the idiot women giving such nasty comments on your post, tell them to piss off !
I hyphenated my children’s last names. I was never married to their dad. As they got older my boys decided to just go by their dads last name. My daughter still goes by both
I would leave it. But that’s just me, and my kids dad is an amazing daddy, I kept my maiden name, but 3 of my kids have their dads last name.
Following, I am in charge of my child’s healthcare (the father has never brought him to a single doctors appointment and he’s almost 18 months). Wish to do this seeing as I’m getting married soon
What if you get married down the road, are you not going to take your husbands last name then because it wouldnt match your children? What if you have more kids, are going to give them your maiden name so you all match?
Not trying to sound like a bitch at all, but I suggest you think about those scenarios before moving on to your final decision.
It’s going to cost money as well as his permission. Why not leave it. Their name is what they’re known as right now.
I would just leave it. If you were married it would be his last name. Sounds a little selfish to me to want your kids to have to write two last names all through their lives because you two didn’t make it. Just my opinion.
Dont do it. They have your DNA and that should be enough. Dont hyphenate it. Maybe someday you will meet and marry a wonderful man and he will want to adopted your kids change their name then. 2 last names is 2 much for kids. I work at a school trust me.
Leave their dang last name alone bitter Betty just because you didn’t get what you wanted doesn’t mean it has to change for them.
When I was a kid my dad dipped out and I had his last name. I got made fun of and questioned all the time since I didn’t have my mother’s last name. She also had problems with proof I was hers. To change my last name involved finding my father and going to court unless was 18. So I waited and changed it the moment I could. Now that I’m a mom, and not married, my child has my last name and not his.
When /if you remarry again then what? A name doesn’t make them more or less yours…
It should have been done at birth … just because you and dad are no longer together doesn’t change the child’s name as someone else said they still have your DNA too
I’d just leave it also. When I got divorced I didnt feel it was necessary to change my 3 childrens last names just because me and their dad weren’t together. They will always have apart of you because you are their mom.
My son is adopted and his name is most definitely hyphenated because we were not married. He can choose which one to use if not both whenever he likes.
If he pays child support he has to agree if not your children will have both last names
I feel you. My children don’t have the same last name as me and it breaks my heart. Also being a mom with full custody, it’s me, everywhere, the only parent to take them to appointments and travel and anywhere our names are required I always get asked who I am. Because we don’t have the same last name…and it’s stupid. I would contact a lawyer and start there.
What if you get married down the road to someone else your name won’t match then why waste the money not that big of an issue