How can I get my kids on a schedule and listening to me?

Okay, so I have three children, an 18-month-old, 3 yr old and an 8 yr old. How do you get them on a schedule and to actually listen to you? My 3 yr old doesn’t listen to a word that comes out of me or my husband’s mouth… Anyways I am a stay at home mom, and I just want to have them on a good schedule to help not only me but for them as well…

4 Likes

You just stay consistant. Keep repeating the schedule and dont go off of it. It will take time since their a bit older.

2 Likes

Throat punch them :woman_shrugging:t2:…no don’t do that only joking. On a serious note, I honestly don’t know. I have an eleven year old and a seven year old and I’m still struggling. I have mine on melatonin. That’s the only way I can get them to go to sleep at a decent time. As far as listening goes, :roll_eyes: I have no clue :disappointed:. This mama mess is rough.

15 Likes

Try to make it fun. If you’re constantly badgering them they’re not going to listen. Be consistent. Always Give them choices only 2 they get to pick. It helps them feel more empowered. Reward them for good behaviour.

3 Likes

ha well 3 year olds do that. That whole terrible twos is more like entire childhood.
Sleeping is a thing of reducing physical activity before bed but get enough during the day. Have a night time ritual. But with a smaller one that might be difficult. Try using Picture Communication systems where you can show them the task that you want from them and then a reward. Keep the tasks short.
But don’t expect absolute obedience. They’re kids. They do that.

1 Like

Those ages are the time to enjoy them sit with them and talk have patience at that age no . child wants a schedule…just love them babies

3 Likes

Time outs if they don’t listen :woman_shrugging:t3: put them in time out n if they get out put them back in until they stay for the amount of time out u set.

Say it, mean it ,do it .
Keep tasks short and step by step
Only give punishment you will and do enforce.
One minute time out you stick to is more effective then a 10 min time out you dont stick to .
I used to have clean up before lunch and before snack time to help keep clutter and toys picked up .
Also no child ever starved overnight so it’s ok to go to bed without dinner if and when they dont behave.

2 Likes

You have to be consistent.

I have a 2 boys my oldest just turned 4 and have a 20 month old. Our schedule got pretty messed up when I became a stay at home mom about 6 months ago because we did a lot of parks and visiting family members more often etc… so it messed up nap time and everything. So towards the end of July I became very consistent with what would eventually be my oldest school routine, waking up by 7 breakfast doing some outside/inside play lunch at 11:30 and nap time around 12:15… they learned quick if they took a good nap they’d get fruit snacks or an apple/banana when they woke up. Then we’d go over to the school park at 4pm it was time to clean up the toys while mom took care of laundry/dishes… around 5-5:30 I’d start dinner and they’d usually be playing and finish picking up. 6-6:30 eat supper, baths, occasionally a movie or books and then in bed by 8. After 1 week of the consistency bam we had a great schedule set in place. (We occasionally still go off schedule but I try to at least make sure nap time and bedtime stay consistent as possible)

3 Likes

You program their little minds.

Come on… Do we not discipline kids anymore. If tgey don’t listen… Discipline them… There are many ways to discipline (to teach) tgem. If one method doesn’t work try another.

I taught my kids I am not a parrot. They are old enough (after age 2) to do as I say first time. I tell the something… Like… Go pick up your toys and put them in toy box. My child then repeats back to me what I ask him to do. I have to pick toys up an put them in toy box.

That shows they understand what I said. Then I say. If they are not picked up in (time allotted with kitchen timer) 15 minutes then (discipline happens) you loose all toys left on floor. My child then repeats discipline back to me

Then I set timer and follow through if they do not have all toys picked up… I pick up all toyson floor and tgey go in garbage bag. (I do not throw them away. I put them in a closet for a later day. Then if kid doesn’t miss them after 7 days I donate them to local kids in need.

If they wanted the tots… They would have picked them up.
.it teaches… Accountability. Responsibility.
Actions
Cleanliness

You are the parent. You MAKE the rules and you MAKE them follow them…

As far as eating. I am not a short order court. I cannot afford wasting food. Kids can and will eat what’s on their plate or no dessert and they eat what’s on their plate at breakfast .

Kids are picky eaters because PARENTS ALLOW IT.

Bed time is 9 pm year round… There’s no reason a child needs to be up past 10pm. And no reason to sleep past 6 am. No tv an hour before bed. Calm play only settles them down. No rough housing. They go potty before bed and no getting out OF THEIR bed unless an adult is awake. It’s dangerous to have kids wandering through house while you’re asleep.

Enforce the rules. Don’t make them if you won’t enforce them

4 Likes

Instead of always punishing for bad behaviour, reward for good behaviour too!

It’s amazing how much this works.

1 Like

Don’t make empty threats if you say “ John if you smack Liam you get xyz taken away” you take whatever it is you said away “ it’s bed time you get out of bed you don’t get to go to the park tomorrow” always follow through . Time outs 1 minute per year of age so 3 yr old gets 3 mins . Make sure you speak firmly and at eye level if scolding and explain what was done wrong .

If u have no schedule now maybe start slow. U know make a wake time and bedtime ( if u dont already have that) and schedual the meals! Lay that on the kids and let them adjust then start to fill in the day with things. Just be patient, consistant and keep you cool. Its defintly hard to be a stay at home mom with 3 kids!! Def make time for quiet activities for ur 3 year old to give u a little peace! Look online to pinterest! Good luck and dont beat urself up its a hard job!! :heart::heart:

The main reason that kids don’t listen to their parents is inconsistency. If you’re going to threaten a punishment, you HAVE to follow through!

Point system
I give them points for listening chores eating their food brushing teeth etc
Then they earn things like tv time or cooking with mommy time or a outfit or new toy trips to the beach or mommy and daughter exclusive time a new bike simple rewards like dessert and staying up 30 min later etc
They learn to value their belongings and accountable for their actions. They feel proud of them selves they gain confidence and respect
Positive reinforcement is the way
But they do get points eliminated for poor decisions or not completing a task
This has been the virtue of parenting!:trophy::trophy::trophy:

You are probably saying too much.
Eg. Shoes on.
Brush your teeth
Pick up toys.
Go to there eye level say it once wait 30 sec for response. No response equals warning shoes on or time out? Wait 30 seconds for response. Then time out.

Be consistent
Stick to your guns

If u say something they need to do it if they don’t listen there is a consequence, time out, no tv time, toy taken away etc

YOU are the adult.

Patience and CONSISTENCY. Be organized. Follow through. These are key! Good luck momma.

3 Likes

Following thru with whatever it is you say you’re going to do. Example, if you tell them they need to pick up their toys by the count of 3 or you will take them away then by 3 if they haven’t started cleaning up the toys then take them away. I agree it’s all about consistency and following thru with what you say you’re going to do. If there is no follow thru or consequence they will never learn. Also they learn from us as parents. So if they see you cleaning up or whatever it is they are more apt. To do it themselves. If you are inconsistent, don’t follow thru and don’t set the example it’s harder for them to be expected to do what is asked of them .

6 Likes

When you all are eating Breakfast (or even dinner the night before) break out a paper or whiteboard and schedule the day. Do it with pictures to help engage the 3yr old. Let them pick some of the activities. Like say sometime today we need to take a nap would you like to go to the park before or after the nap? And put up pictures so they know the order in which thing will happen. Then stick with it

2 Likes

My kids learnt schedules till they were in kindergarten…and from there no more problems about scheduling

This can be very hard and I find that the more children you have the harder it is to have a set schedule. Instead of trying to have a scheduled day just try to have your day filled with certain routines, such as meals, playtime, bath-time, bedtime. It will eventually become habit for them. But all that being said it is still important to not feel upset when you have days that just don’t go as planned. It will happen and its okay. Don’t be hard on yourself. Getting them to listen is always an every day battle but following through on consequences of not listening. Taking something away, timeout, etc. You have to find what works. Again though, it is an every day battle when they are little but if you are consistent they will get better and better the older they get.

I feel bad because all ive tried to do is gentle parenting. Ive read the books and everything. Guess what? After months of it it doesnt freakin work. The only thing that’s worked on my three year old is staying on top of him 24/7 and chewing him out. Sending him to his room. Time out. No tv. Taking any and all screen time away. Taking any treats away. I wish gentle parenting worked. But with this kid it just DOESNT

Follow the schedule yourself to a point. Like, you don’t have to nap during nap time but lay down in the room with them and quietly read to yourself or something. Same with bedtime. Eat when they eat, clean when they play. Take turns with baths and shower with your 7 year-old. Sit down and read during tv time. And so on.

Or you could just beat them