How can I get my sons last name changed?

I am legally changing child’s last name from father’s last name to mother’s last name. I’ve been married for four years now, and I have a child with someone else. My son has his dad’s last name, whom I haven’t spoken to or heard of since he found out about my engagement back in 2017. How hard is it to change my sons last name to mine? I don’t see why my son should have to honors someone’s last name that have no interest in coming around. I don’t talk to his dad’s side of the family, and they also have not reached out to ask about my son well being. I don’t want my son to feel left out or different because he doesn’t have a similar last name as his siblings. (I have one more child but this time I put my husbands and my last name on the birth certificate). Advice? Side note; I had spoken to my sons dad about this back in 2016 and he said he would NEVER sign any paperwork because that’s HIS son, yet he’s a deadbeat


If the man you’re with now wants to adopt him then that’s a way to get his name changed


Baby daddy needs to sign off on it.


all state depending but based on abandonment if your husband wanted to adopt him he could do a stepparent adoption. You would not need to terminate rights first, because the adoption terminates the rights as well. So you’d just petition for your husband to adopt him, provide the requirements, and he may not need to even sign off since it’s been so long. He would be notified though


You have to petition the court and get fathers consent to switch. Id hire a lawyer because you’d need new ids for your son future. Good luck

Adoption. Very smart Cheyenne Long

Different states have different rules

I had it done I went to court and asked for a name changed they contacted the sperm donor and he said no but I explained to the courts why I wanted it changed and they agreed with me and changed it


Unmarried here, when dad got added to birth certificate they asked me if I wanted to change the last name. I saw said no. They said if he really wanted to push for it it would be a court matter that I assume I would either need to agree to or something. Never came to that but in Connecticut that is what they told me. So believe he does need to sign off on it somehow.

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You would need father’s permission

It goes alot smoother to your x sign off and consent.

Without his permission I think ur stuck with the name u gave him!!!


I just had it done in ks and his dad had to sign the papers for it to be done

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I went through the courts. Im in FL. I just filed for a name change while doing time sharing (custody). Got finalized and approved March 30th. Took 2 years.


I live in pa. The whole process took 2 months (through the courts). If you don’t have a signed affidavit they have to appear in court to object (they don’t get notified but the hearing is posted in the newspaper).


Go into FACS or family courts get him supeonea to court get the deadbeat to sign over parenting rights, you have to go in hard though, if there was DV get police reports get everything including him not paying any financial help towards his kid, you are married and have the support around you, the game is in your hands now, make sure to stick daggers into the deadbeat too get him where it hurts, the heart :blush: , teach him a lesson, once you have got him to sign parental rights then you are free and so is your child. Goodluck


Go to probate court and file for it. He’ll have to come state why he doesn’t want it changed and you’ll have to state why you want it changed. Provide proof etc…


It might be best if you wait to see if your child wants their name changed. Otherwise, it could potentially be a lot of time, a lot of court, and a lot of fights before you may be able to legally change the child’s name

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in order to do that his father would have to give up his parental rights.

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Why don’t you let your child decide when he’s older. :roll_eyes:


Depending on the state, you could file for child abandonment if he hasn’t talked to or seen the child in 6+ months.

Contact an attorney…different states have different rules.


In my state you have to have fathers signature, unless there is a previous or current domestic violence dispute between the two. In my case there was, so I was thankfully able to change it without his signature. He also had not been involved or paid any child support in 5 years.

Depends on where you live. I did it but in Canada. You fill out forms and its sent registered mail. Then he has 30 days to respond to it. If not then it gets changed automatically

Father has to sign off, or have had no contact for a certain amount of years.

Without his permission you have to basically prove why it will benefit the child to change their name. Been there done that.

Go to the court I got told it’s 300 a letter to change a name


Is he paying child support?

I made a deal with my ex. I did not peruse the back child support if he signed away parental rights so that my current husband could adopt him. Worked out for us!

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In mo I needed dads permission…both kids have my last name now.

Usually if dad is on the birth certificate he had to sign off in it. You have to file with the courts to have it changed.

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I live in CA if your husband is willing to adopt him you can do a step parent adoption if bio dad is willing to relinquish his rights either way after 2 yrs without parental support and you can physically prove it his rights should automatically be revoked


I had the same thing happen to me I got pregnant had my daughter her father denied her till 2 days before her birthday first birthday and a blood test proved him to be the father hit they was ordered to change her last name to his I got the paper for him to fill out and notarize he never would go notarize it so we changed her name back to my maiden name he never would come and see her when he did he dropped her off at his girlfriend’s house they could go by where she was and when they see her running to them they speed up and go on by then she got older got pregnant had a little baby and wanted to go by and see her dad so we went by and sing her that well she actually wanted to see her grandma so we leave several days go by he had her come over to his house and his girlfriend’s by herself when I finally go to pick her up at 1:00 in the morning he had given her liquor pills that she didn’t know what they were all kinds of stuff like that she was so messed up we had to spray her off with the water hose out in the cold to get her to wake up enough to understand what she was doing after that we were done with him we knew he had a warrant we turned him in that he was coming to our house now he’s in prison for life for injury to a child which was sexual assault of a child he still owes over 60 something thousand in child support so I understand that problem I hope you get the name changed to someone who is caring and takes care of your child

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If you live in Canada you have to file a petition

It truly just depends on the state. In TN I was able to do it without dads consent but I had a solid reason why I was doing it.

Depends on state it was super easy where I live my sons sperm donor tried to deny it but spelt my son’s first name wrong so it went through lol :rofl::rofl:

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In my state if father agrees its just a matter of writing the new stuff on the back of the birth certificate & notarized then taking it to the vital statistics place. If they don’t agree to it then you can go in front of a judge. Also changing the last name is not the same as signing off rights. Seems thatd be common sense but my ex seemed to think that by changing my sons last name to my married name was supposed to take aways his responsibilities.

In Wisconsin u have the first yr to change the baby’s name without consent after that u have to petition the court

Just see if your current husband will adopt him so your kids can have the same last name.

Depending on the state you live in I just went through this but my ex hasn’t seen my daughter in 13years she had both our last night I went and filed the paperwork they asked if I got Child support or anything and I don’t and asked the last time I talked to him so I’m like yup 2008 blah blah blah I had no address for
Him nothing so I had to file something in THe paper to say hey there is a court date coming up with daughters name and what not and the courts dropped his name

Contact a lawyer in your area. Most will do free consultations for certain time limits and can generally guide you in the right direction of what to do

File a name change with the court tell them you have no contact or means to contact the dad…they will make you put the matter in the local newspaper & if no one contests after 30-60 so days the judge will grant it.


You can go to the deeds office and change it, but personally I am in the same boat. The father of my first child hasn’t spoken to my son or me since my son was born 4 years ago. I was gonna change his last name to but thought about it and I think it is something he should choose when he gets older for himself. Just my thought on it tho no judgment either way. That’s just what my mind went to.

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In MS my sister just had to put an ad in the paper and after a month if no replies from fathers family to contest it the paid a few hundred dollars and it was changed

I don’t know how old the child is or know anything about the child at all.

But, from my experience, I’d wait until the child is older (unless old enough now) and let him make the decision on if he wants to keep his Dad’s last name or not.
I completely understand not wanting him to feel left out with a different last name than yours or his siblings. But, even if Dad is a deadbeat, his last name may also be the only thing your son has left of his Dad.
Again, your son may not care either way at this moment depending on his age when Dad left, his feelings now toward his Dad, if he misses him, doesn’t remember him, etc.

A friend of mine, his Dad left when he was younger. He was so hurt, angry, and sad that he couldn’t see him. Kept asking where he was, etc. His Mom tried changing his and his sisters last names to hers, but begged his Mom to let him say what he needed to in court first. He was 9 yrs old and his sister was 6…and Dad had been gone since he was 4.
She though because he was angry, he’d tell the judge he didn’t want his name anymore so she could win the case.
He simply told the judge that he hated his Dad for leaving or calling and sad every day that he hasn’t come back. Said he didn’t think his Dad loved him anymore. But then said his name was all he had left of his and couldn’t lose that too. Even if he never saw his Dad again.
Judge ruled in my friends favor and him and his sibling kept Dad’s last name.
He never regretted that decision to this day and glad he kept it too cause he sought out his Dad when he turned 20 yrs old and they have a great relationship now.

Even not knowing my friends story, I’d still leave the choice up to the child when older. You may have given him his name, but it’s still his. I believe at that point, it’s his choice.
(Of course my opinion would change in an abuse or dangerous situation. But a deadbeat Dad who isn’t there physically or emotionally, doesn’t erase him as your sons Dad in his heart.)


Good luck. You have to petition the court and need the father’s permission to do so. Unfortunately just because he doesnt pay or come around isnt going to be good enough for the courts to change your child’s last name in 9 out of 10 cases unless it’s within the first year in most states. Get yourself a good lawyer as well.

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It completely depends on the state. A quick Google search will give you an answer.

My mom changed my last name when I was 7 and I’ve never forgiven her for stealing my identity away from me. It doesn’t matter how shitty the parent is, the child still deserves to know his given name and where he comes from. Have you spoken to your child about changing their identity? Is it something they want to do? Is it more for you or your child. I now carry the name of a step parent who was awful to me my entire life- and all cause my mom chose to change my name. Just some food for thought.

I petitioned the court and won so can you x best feeling in the world (no response on the other side though it’s sad but it’s done thank god that’s over took 6months from start to finish

My mum did this with me when I was younger, similar situation, but she actually did it twice. Changed from fathers name to mothers name then after she married my step dad I got to choose to change it to his last name instead because he was my dad :woman_shrugging:t2:
I don’t think it was overly difficult but it was a while ago and the sperm donor always made it clear that he was happy to sign anything that alienated and distanced me further from him and his family.

I just register my children with my name even tho its his on all official things like passport, at school they go by mine. You can do it if prove abandonment, but my childs nearly 16 do he’s old enough to do it himself soon.

Good luck getting him to sign the paper my daughter had to tell her dad to drop dead it was crazy I hate how u have to get the dad signature

Goodluck with that , you need fathers signature…

Court request - it will take a while but had a friend do it, the kids were so happy.