How can I get my toddler to be okay with not being rocked at bed time?

I have a question! I have two children under 2. my oldest still gets rocked to sleep. But with my husband going back to work and having a newborn, I don’t think I will be able to keep this routine. How do I get her comfortable with just being laid down in bed? Currently, we do bath, milk, and rock to sleep. If we just lay her down awake, she freaks out and screams. Help!!!

8 Likes

Ferber method of sleep training. Seriously works.

2 Likes

I used to to rock my son to sleep until one day when he was super tired I just laid him in his bed and patted his back rubbed his head until he would fall asleep. Also maybe its time to add reading to your nightly routine

1 Like

I’m gonna sound like a jerk but as a mama of four I say… Rock that baby as long as you possibly can get away with. It goes SO FAST and before you know it…

59 Likes

Ask him if he’d like some music! I had a child friendly music box with a projector and my son loved it!

Maybe try cutting down the amount of rocking time by just a little bit at a time time?

So if you normally or currently rock for say 15mins maybe start by only rocking for 13 minutes. Then do that for a couple days and go down to 11 minutes(just as an example whatever amount of time or whatever works for you)

That way its not so drastic and abrupt for him and you can have a set end goal so you can feel better about managing it all.

Hang in there your doing a great job!

1 Like

Been there! After I threw my back out lifting my sleeping 3 year old I started sitting in her room with her while she fell asleep. Sometimes I would put my hand on her leg or hold her hand, sometimes she wants me to hum “her song”. Then I started taking small moves towards the end of the bed, not really touching her anymore but still in the room. Eventually I moved to a chair in the room, then in the hallway and finally she could fall asleep by herself. It took about a month but it was worth it and it was an easier transition then crying and tantrums and then an over all fear of her room. Good luck mama!!

2 Likes

I won’t lie, my girl is 5 and she is the last of 5, the oldest is 19. We was still putting her to bed with lullibies and lay with her until she falls asleep. Her dad and I worked 50 + hours a week so that was our time. I just recently got laid off and bedtime is hard because I am taking this time to help her grow and change her routine. I suggest starting small . if you have never heard the little snowman "snowflake " song. Try it. It is like the baby whisper song. :joy:No lie I put it on in her room with a color changing light and so far it hs worked 2 weeks in a row. It will be hard on you and the little in this transition but you got this mama!!

Get one new swings moved ele.rock the baby and keep it sleeping with musice.

I have twin grand sons. So hard to rock them. I lay one on my lap to watch TV and one beside me touching me and they will go down like that

I know it sucks but just lay her down and let her learn to self soothe…go in every 10 mins if she’s crying and give love and then say goodnight and walk back out. It only takes a few days of hell for them to catch on.

2 Likes

My oldest 2 are 13 months apart … hell, my oldest wasn’t even 3 yet when my third was born. I made routines that included them all, the older ones being helpers along the way. It’s amazing how much your lap can hold. Rock them both. Have a swing or some other holder (I had a pack n play with a bassinet attachment) near by to switch out. If the newborn will lay down, take advantage and rock your older one and vice versa. Read books to make the routine wind down and bond. Even setting on the floor next to their bed and reading to them too. My oldest ones are now my best sleepers! Don’t make your oldest grow up too fast. They’re still a baby yet too, just a little older!

3 Likes

I know it’s hard mama but I went thro the same thing. I had to let mine scream. Every ten minutes I’d go back in there say I love you night night lay them back down and after 3 very tiring nights of that they started just not screaming. It’s hell but we are all mom’s and we are strong I wish there was an easier way :frowning:

1 Like

Your oldest isn’t even 2…I agree w/the one poster who said to put the baby in a swing & keep the routine w/your toddler. You don’t want the toddler to resent the baby.

3 Likes

If you have a baby swing, put the baby in the swing and rock the toddler because they are still babies at this stage and still learning. this is a common debate called nature vs nurture in child psychology, and your 1 year old still needs to have your attention to promote a positive relationship as well as a trusting and loving one.

2 Likes

My daughter use to be the same. Have a melt down and even vomit. So Id put her to bed and rub her back for the 1st few nites then the time got shorter and I’d just sit beside her so she knew I was there (u could do that with your new born) after few nites got a chair and sat in room and slowly sat on chair moving it away fm her bed till she was fine. Day 3 or 4 was the hardest. And try wee nite light

Put her to bed and stop rocking her, she’s going to scream or cry for a couple of days but don’t give in and she’ll get used to it

1 Like

Rock as long as possible.The baby won’t remember but the 2 year old will be hurt. They grow up so fast.

Create a new routine…encourage blankie love, and repeat. Night 3 or 4 it won’t be as bad. Consistency is key!! Dont cave! Same thing with the bottle. My oldest cried for it for 3 days…4th never mentioned it again :woman_shrugging:

Let her scream :woman_shrugging:t3:it’ll take a couple days or so but she’ll figure out it’s okay. We used to have to pat our kids back until he fell asleep. I stopped doing that just before a year. Let him cry a little and now he goes to sleep great.

1 Like

What about reading to them? They lay down get comfortable and you read a chapter of a book usually my son lasted 10 minutes

That’s a hard one. That’s her special time with you…

1 Like

Nope don’t listen to them. Don’t brake the bonding time!

5 Likes

Children get a custumed to routine. Change is painful.

1 Like

Get newborn settled… then rock the older toddler. She needs to feels like that baby didn’ t take her place! :cry:

4 Likes

Under 2 is still a bit early to put to bed with out some mommy time.
Especially with a newborn
Get the newborn settled first then you can focus on the older child

6 Likes

Gradually change the routine. If you rock for 10 min, do 8 min, then 6, 5 etc. Then offer a hug/kiss/ snuggle once you’re down to nothing or something like that. :woman_shrugging:t2:

2 Likes

You will figure it out, dont stop cold turkey. She is still small and doesnt understand the change.

1 Like

I would gradually seen her from being rocked all the time. If you just stop all together with having a newborn it could cause some hurt feelings and resentment Todd’s the newborn.

2 Likes

Is their away possible get the big sister to help get the baby settled and cozy and needed than it can be her time for Mommy Snuggles after. Soon enough if you just stop completely she is going to hold anger to her sibling and become anger towards the baby. Speaking from experience i have a 6 year old now and another fixing to be 5.

I agree with Zinnia Evelyn Conrad . Get the new born down then. Rock her.

I explained there will be a new baby and you’re my helper. What I did was let him curl up between my legs. Head on lap. Watching his tv or read while I breastfed and usually they fell asleep pretty quickly together then I’ll have the dad to help putting them in bed.

1 Like

Momma of a 3 year old and a 10 month old. I still cuddle/rock both my kids to sleep. You should have started stopping before the baby came, if you do it now it’s going to be hard on him thinking he’s being replaced. Put the 2 year olds to bed first give him his own bedtime routine give him that one on one time lots of kisses and snuggles, let’s face it… it won’t be long until he’ll think your snuggles are Repulsive!

1 Like

I would say just keep rocking her. Because soon she’ll want to do everything by herself because she’s a big girl now. My daughter is almost 4 now and she will barely let me help her with anything because she’s a big girl now

1 Like

Start her love for.reading. slowly change over to reading a book. Something they both benefit from. That goes to them reading to you. She picks the book you read when she is a big girl and climbs into bed. She still gets that time with you

Rock her until you can’t! I lay with mine and cuddle till they fall asleep. (They are 3) I have a 2 week old and I just put the kids to bed between baby’s feedings.
The twins end up in my bed by midnight and stay the rest of the night. Sometimes I get frustrated because it’s only a king size bed and my husband is also in there so it’s pretty tight. But I wouldn’t change it for anything. It’s the only time I can actually cuddle my daughter without her telling me to go away. My son on the other hand wants me to cuddle him 24/7. They grow up so fast. Soon they won’t want to be rocked or cuddled, or sleep in your bed. Enjoy it every second you can.

2 Likes

I’m sorry, but that’s not fair to her and she could begin to resent the baby because it’s taking her time that she’s had for the last 2 years before baby! I have three kids! I’ve always juggled bedtime and keeping their routine, even with them being 9,7 & now 11 months.

1 Like

You can also try to snuggle with her in bed as an alternative so the rocking can stop. Then eventually train her to sleeping by herself but of course with you tucking her in bed first, maybe sing her a song or read her a story. I would love to say keep rocking her to sleep but once the new baby comes out and comes a time that you will not be able to do that for her she might feel bad. So I suggest you start training her. Also tell her she’s going to be a big sister like prepare her so she won’t get jealous in the future although it sometimes can’t be helped. God bless❤️

I still rock or snuggle my 4 year old to sleep. I did that with my 11 year old until one day she was like “No mom, Murphy (our dog) is coming to bed with me.” In time your little one will go to bed on their own and you will miss snuggling with them.

Let her wear herself down before bedtime. If she’s taking a nap of an evening cut omit that. Maybe then it won’t take as long for her to fall asleep. I’m sure it’s hard for her to adjust, it was on my middle child when we had the last one. I would just get them both up in the chair and we rocked or reclined until they went to sleep (we all fell asleep at times). I’m not putting you down momma you are doing a great job, but just let her be little too. Before long she will not want you to rock her. :heart:

Rock that sweet baby! One day, she’ll no longer fit in your lap. The days are long but the years are short, enjoy every moment

1 Like

I wouldn’t stop my first child’s comforting routine just because I had another baby. You will regret not getting those last few moments because they grow up so fast. Continue rocking your baby. My youngest used to fall asleep on my chest every day and when it stopped I missed it terribly. One day he crawled up in my lap and fell asleep when he got older and I bawled. You will be thankful for those moments when they are older. Even if its beyond exhausting.

Just be flexible with your new routine. You’ll be surprised at what you can accomplish with two smalls kids. I have rocked both kids to sleep at the same time. Also, talk to him/her about being a big sister/brother and how things may change with bedtime once new baby gets here.

Don’t stop! Find a way to make it work. She won’t be little much longer and you’re gonna miss it. I have a 7 year old that has to have a hug and a kiss every single time before I leave the house. She will run out the door after me for a hug and a kiss and to tell me she loves me. Same with bed time. She HAS to be tucked in and have a dozen hugs and kisses at bedtime. It annoys me sometimes, but then I think about my oldest 3. My son is 12, he only comes out of his room to eat, talk shit and ask for money for video games. My oldest two are 17 and they’re to busy for me most of the time. Enjoy it while you can. Maybe get a routine that involves both babies.

Slowly tell her you can’t do rocking all the time

Rock them . I did mine until I couldn’t any more.

Rock for awhile, and read to her when the baby needs you. Or sing lullabies. I remember nursing a baby while singing somewhere over the rainbow to a fussy toddler who just wanted to sleep with mommy.

while it may sound overwhelming right now, enjoy your time rocking your babies. all too soon, they will be out of this phase and won’t want rocked any more. my youngest grandchild is now 6 and how i wish she still wanted to be rocked.

My daughter was the same until last week! We got rid of the dummy and daytime nap together and was sick of spending hours holding her fiddling trying to get her to sleep. We laid her down in bed didn’t look at her and started reading “Sam the sleepy sheep” it’s on amazon and I swear by it worked for both mine, keep reading through the little tears hold their hand and just lay them back down without looking, the book takes about half an hour to read. First night she was asleep after 20 minutes and then every night since we don’t even get to the 3rd page. Persistence is key!

My 4 year old boy who is half my size still likes to lay on my chest and get his back patted. I’ll do it as long as he will still let me lol. But I understand with 2 kiddos the time has to be split. Good luck mama. Do what you feel is best

I have a 3yo & 15mn old. We have separate bedtimes, with similar routines for both. We do bath, jammies, stories and then they lay down. My 15mn old is not a fan of being rocked, she just wants to go to sleep at bed time, so I let her. My 3y/o son is the opposite, he wants to know someone is present until he falls asleep. We started rocking him, then moved to snuggling and rubbing his back, and now we just sit in the rocking chair in his room. Gradually separating ourselves without actually leaving the room has helped alot, and allowed me to still rock, feed, etc my daughter when she was smaller.

1 Like

Tell her a story in bed

she will need it more once the next baby comes

It will be hard becuase shes older and usento being rocked for her own life but u have to jus put her in her bed and let her be… also i would stop the milk it will rot their teeth if they drink milk and fall asleep without brushing. Id give a sippy cup with water and tell her shes a big girl now and has her own biggirl bed. Go in every 10-15 mins and calm her down tell her shes ok if shes crying.

Do a load of Laundry,put the baby in a car seat ,set the car seat on the drier and watch how long it takes before the baby is asleep. Then put the baby to bed because they will be sound asleep.

how about getting daddy to help

Throw him against the wall

1 Like