How can I get my toddler to listen?

I have a soon to be 3 year old who absolutely refuses to follow instructions. Her dad and I have tried every method. Her attention span is terrible she cannot focus on anything for long periods of time (music, movies, toys even lessons at kindergarten). She also gets angry and frustrated very easily like she hates the texture of her clothes and throws tantrums. She also can’t sit still for more than 2 minutes.Has anyone experienced something like this?I’m at my wits end and feel like I’m failing as a mother.