My baby girl is almost 3 and HATES shower days ( no bathtub so always showers) she will scream and freak out like someone is hurting her…the idea of me washing her hair will cue a mega meltdown…she won’t calm down enough for me to walk her through putting her head back and letting me use the removable head…she just flailing and slipping and I’m scared one day she’s gonna slip and I won’t be able to catch her…then after the shower and drying of hair she’ll still freak out when I try and brush her hair…I’m almost and the point of cutting it all off into a pixie until she’s older and can loon after her own hair…I dred shower days, and hair days…help looking for tips trick advice…something to save my mental health…
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I get my toddler to stop freaking out about showers?p
Bathe her in kitchen sink til older
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My daughter has always disliked showers too. She’s 7 now, she will only take a tub. Can you maybe get a tote and fill it with water in the shower so she can have a bath? Also…! I got my daughter into swimming lessons last year & she is a whole new kid with water!!
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I had the same issue with my child. I bought a tiny blow up pool and put it on the shower floor… bath nights were way easier after that
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Sounds like she could be autistic with sensory processing issues regarding the water/shower. It’s very common for autistic girls to not like their hair brushed.
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Sponge bath in the biggest bowl or pot in the shower just dip your wash rag in and squeeze. It may just be the noise the shower creates. Or Get a slower setting shower head.
Kitchen sink. It’s easier for both of you. Less stress on your back, less panic for her.
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Have a Shower with her
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Get a large tote! Set it in the shower as a bathtub! 
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Without sounding crazy my grandson had the same issue we got one of those little swimming pools made it work
Wash her hair in the sink
Have you seen those blow up bathtubs for little ones? That might be less scary/more fun for her. My kids loved them and you can use them on the shower floor.
Make “magic” conditioner in a pretty bottle. Try brushing in the tub with the magic conditioner. Make it fun. Get a little tub and put it in your shower.
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So maybe try not washing her hair in the shower. Lay her on the countertop and use a towel under her head and do it that way. My baby girl was like this as well. So to help her and bring her at ease I did it on the counter. That way if she’s freaking out, you have a better way to control her. She is only 3. Don’t cut her hair🥹 She just afraid the water is going to get in her eyes. That’s okay. reassure her and try the countertop
Kitchen sink until she’s to big
Also, we only have showers as well. We bought a blow up portable bath tub from target or we have him sit on the shower floor and we use our removable shower head while he plays with toys
Could you buy one of those large storage tubs and fill that up to use as a bath. When my son would stay with my parents, that’s what they would do and it worked well for them… they also would set it up in the living room with a mini tarp underneath in front of the TV to distract him from hiw much he hated getting his hair washed… worked like a charm for them
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I have just a shower. When baby got too big for a baby tub, I got a Rubbermaid tote and used that. She loves it
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I had the same issue and used a large metal drum
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Try a tote in the shower or a small blow up pool fit to the bottom to fill a little with water for a little bath!
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Get a blowup pool and put it in the bottom of the shower so she can have a bath
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Detachable showerhead for close wash instead of large wide stream. Might help
A baby pool filled with soapy water
My 3yr old and almost 2 years does the exact same thing!!! But they’ll play in a pool, ocean,lake,ect and have no problems. So some days they’ll want to play in the shower. But when it comes to bath time, they literally hate it!! Same for baths, but as babies they were huge water bugs, and loved bath time. Now it’s like a huge horror movie come to life in their eyes
Get a mat for the shower and get a detachable head. This isn’t Hard. Also use conditioner and then leave in conditioner.
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They make these cute hats they’re like bathing visors so you can wash their hair and keep water/soap out of their eyes maybe that would help? I got one on Amazon for around $13 and it helped tremendously!
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Has she been checked for autism spectrum disorder and sensory processing disorder it honestly sounds like its overwhelming her and could be hurting her? Maybe try filling a cup up with water and washing her hair out that way.
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Get in with her or try to talk about it when she isn’t actually needing a shower. Ask her questions and try to find out why. I know she is 3 but it should still be helpful
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If you have the removable head, let her sit down. Get in there with her until she sees it’s not that big of deal once she sees you are right next to her.
Get a small wading pool and put in bottom of shower use as tub
My son went through this for nearly 2 years, would freak out if water got on his face in the bath or pool. He definitely wasn’t going to get in a shower. Eventually he grew out of it though. Wish you had a tub to try. Maybe theres a shower insert to pool the water like a bath? And I see many saying this means shes autistic. My son is not, kids are just fucky about things sometimes too.
It’s a sensory thing. She is probably autistic. Forcing these things just makes it worse. It causes pain and discomfort for them.
If you have a sink, put her in a sink bath.
They have little things for the bath that are like visors I use to have to use it on my son cause the water on his face caused a huge meltdown… I think I got it off Amazon for $2 but it makes it where no water gets on their face at all and it helped my son tremendously now he showers by himself with nothing cause we finally got him use to it
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They have water guards that you can put around her head to keep water off her face. That helped a lot with my youngest. Also give her a baby doll or a Barbie for her to do her hair while you do hers. Use leave in conditioner brush from the bottom of the hair moving up. This will help a lot with how many tangles she has and will make things easier. Good luck.
A shower stool will probably help her
You know those big Rubbermaid tubs? They make excellent bath tubs for small kids, and most fit in the bottom of a stand up shower.
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Get a small wadding pool or blow up pool and place it in the shower an give her baths. She’s not ready for a shower she’s still too little an a shower can be intimidating to little ones. If she fits in the kitchen sink do it there if not get you one of the pool ideas. Otherwise you are risking her not liking water or bathing in general.
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Does she have sensory issues? It could be that the water pressure feels bad in her skin.
Get a bath mat for the floor of your shower. I would also get in with her and shower together until she is comfortable. It doesn’t have to be when she needs to shower. You want to shower and have time put her in with you and have her try to play in the water that is on the floor and pop the bubbles from your shampoo and body wash as it drains.
See if you can find some shower crayons, she can play with those as well.
I would say though that a fear or hate of bathtime is pretty normal for toddlers.
From the day my youngest son was born, he hated baths. He would scream bloody murder no matter how warm I kept the bathroom or anything I done to make it better. He got better when he was about 3, not screaming his head off. But he still absolutely hates his hair washed and the water has to be almost cold. He doesn’t even like warm water and won’t let me rinse his hair with the detachable head. I have to use a cup and put a wash rag over his face. It’s still a fight sometimes but it’s getting easier. Maybe try that.
Does she maybe have sensory processing disorder? My 5yo does and baths are very difficult for him.
Have hair day done in the kitchen sink lying on the counter maybe? Will also help with knots that way. My kid hates the shower and he’s 6. No issues with baths. Wet brush and start at the bottom. Also you don’t need shampoo every wash. Just some conditioner.
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We only have showers too, my daughter is 3 and I bought a blow up bathtub on Amazon when she didn’t fit in a baby bath. She hates water on her face so washing her hair has been a nightmare, she also screams like someone is torturing her. I’m finally getting her used to it but she has to hold a dry wash cloth over her eyes for me to even get her hair wet.
Get a blow up tub for the shower or use a rubber maid bin and fill it
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Get a little pool and put it in the shower she will love it x
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Maybe a water guard or goggles in the shower will help.
Is she too big for the kitchen sink?
A friend of mine would use a plastic tote to bathe his kids because he only had a shower stall.
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Tote from Walmart, cheap and works
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Just lay her down on the counter and wash at your kitchen sink
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I bought bath crayons and paint and let my daughter color and paint on the walls while I washed her. She took a shower with me so she loved to paint and draw while I bathed. Maybe that will help 
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I remember my youngest doing this at that age. Now I can’t keep her out of water. I just kept trying til she stopped 
Get a small tote and put it in the bottom of the shower and fill it up as a bath.
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Maybe tell he that she’s gonna catch the raining fairies 
Fill up a tote with water inside the shower for her to bathe in
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Does she have a sensory issue? The noise, the water hitting her can be painful and overloading.
I would try what the others suggest. Also to make it an enjoyable thing, try something I called a “play bath” toys, bubbles, with a quick wash up at the end. It was a great way to start winding down for the night.
Get a little tub big enuf for her to sit in and room enuf to have a few little tub toys. Sit it in shower fill it and let her enjoy a bath.
Try making it fun. It might be a pain but throw on swim suits and let her wash your hair in the shower. Give her some control over the experience maybe she will learn to think of it has fun with mom vs something scary
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I use to have to get in the shower with my youngest son. He was the only 1 out of my 7kids who doesn’t like water. So I’d get in the shower with just my undies hold him and bathe him then hand him over to my husband and then take my shower. He’s 6 now. He likes water but not in his face so if he’s swimming and someone splashes him he’ll have a meltdown 
I don’t like my face wet either 
We got a plastic storage tub and filled it using the shower head so our toddler could bathe instead of shower. I wasn’t going to fight a two year old lol
When one of my friends only had a shower she made a tub. She took a really large clear storage container and filled it with water so her kid could have a bath and play.
Get in there with her or use kitchen sink, if she’s small enough
Try the sink method where she lays her head back and put her hair in the sink.
If that still doesn’t work then cut it so it needs less maintenance until she’s ready to try again.
I wish I could help, but all of my kids love showers. My youngest just has days here and there when she’s not really in the mood for one, but she doesn’t tend to make too big of a deal of it.
My daughter hated water in her face or anywhere near her ears. Only liked baths and wouldn’t even do pools.
I signed her up for swim and cue the screaming. Little by little she got used to it and now she loves it (even submerges her head under water). This helped with giving her showers. She doesn’t scream or cry anymore when I try to wash her hair.
Maybe give that a try.
I was desperate lol.
Have her sit in the bottom of the shower stall, take the hose down and then turn the water on.
Take a big plastic storage big she can sit in. Bam you have a bath tub now.
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My kids were the same so I got a small paddling pool to use as a bath and they love it
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My daughter is 7 and still hates her hair being touched all… ughh I feel ya but I’m sorry I cant give any advice as I’m going through the same she does love the bath but hair time oh man it is hard
Have her sit in the shower, let her hold the shower handle & spray herself, make sure the water pressure isn’t to hard if there’s different currents that come out, make sure it’s not to hot, just a baby bath if one will fit…
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Buy a tote, put it in the shower & bathe her
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Your going to need to try n get some kind of bathtub. N get her water crayons and markers and wash her hair using a cup…good luck
Sounds strange but i got my son a snorkel n goggles… we did have a bath so i would put coins in there for him to find but it definitely got him used to having water on his head and face… maybe try something fun like that in the shower
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We have one of those shower heads you can bring down off the wall. It made showering my kids so much easier. Then when I wash their hair I give them a washcloth to out of their face.
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Mines almost 5 and only just managed to get him to stop freaking out. Before he took shower and bath easily. But we moved and he changed. I think some just go through phases but if you are worried, seek advice from a doctor/health visitor. All the best
Put a tub in the shower, fill it up and bathe her there…put on happy music, new toy…phases don’t last long♡
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Crayola bath paints and crayons is what I use with my 3 yr old when I give her a shower .
Try to make it fun and give her time. Mine is three and just stopped screaming about showers and hair brushing. Make sure you condition her hair and use leave in conditioner. Experiment with different brushes. We do hair washing first in the bath to get the worst part out of the way then she can play with toys and she LOVES the crayons bath paint. Try to be patient and give her time. I did just have to cut my daughters hair because it was just wayyy too long like down to her butt and brushing it was a pain in the booty. I also waited for her to tell me she wanted a haircut. Give her time. She will grow out of it. You got this!
Get a big tote and fill it up with water in the shower. Make shift bathtub. She gets clean without traumatizing her for life.
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Lots of great ideas in here. My kiddo used to play/bath in a giant storage bin. Make it fun not a chore, ask her how she thinks it should be done and work with her not against her. And if all else fails yup cut her hair and give it some time. Be sure your using detangling easier products to keep it as quick and simple as possible.
My almost 3 year old was the same way. My hubby told her that there is a set of fairy’s that watch her every move and that when she’s good she’ll get a prize at the end of the week. Basically we just made up a fairy and told her that she’s the “shower fairy” and if she takes showers she get a prize. She still cries here and there but she’ll get in and let me do what needs to be done. There’s also a potty fairy and hair fairy I guess I’m saying bribery works
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My daughter freaked out about showers until she was around 7. Showers scared me and the water running over me made me feel claustrophobic until I was almost a teen. The more you try to force her the more traumatized she will be from it. Get a large plastic tote to set in the shower and fill it up with the showerhead or you can use a small blow up pool.
Hay when I was young they scared me !!
Put a container in the tub and wash her in it. I used to do it with my little when we were camping in our trailer that only had a shower.
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Put her on the kitchen counter to wash her head and just spray her body in the shower.
Get a plastic inflatable tub for the shower . Fill it for her let her play in it . Put some toys . Than wash and rinse her hair . Empty it let it dry .than remove it until your next use . Also buy children’s hair detangler . They do make inflatable tubs for showers
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I put shaving cream on the shower wall and let them go nuts.
My mom always layed me back on the kitchen counter, and washed it in the kitchen sink! Very calm, and gentle, I would almost fall asleep while she was massaging my head
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My friend doesn’t have a tub either, but she would put my son to play in water on the floor of the shower. Use a cup of water to rinse her hair and body.
I have a trug that I fill with water and put in the base of the shower, and just used the actual shower head gradually, starting by just turning it on for like 5 seconds and built up. Now she sits in the trug with the shower running and absolutely loves it
When we only had a shower I had to go buy a big plastic tub like a storage bin. And put it in the shower for my kids baths. It was terrible and inconvenient as hell for me. But it was the only way they wouldn’t do what your daughter is doing. They’re just scared. I broke my shower and flooded my entire house and caused thousands of dollars worth of damage trying to get my son used to showers at age 4 after trying EVERYTHING. so a tub would most likely be your best bet.
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Get one of those inflatable bath tubs or baby bag tubs to stick inside the shower and use that. Also, my 4 yr old has autism and HATES her hair being washed. Doesn’t matter if it’s tub or shower. Over the last week, we’ve realized she loves having her washed in the kitchen sink. I have her lay down on the counter with her head over the sink and she thinks it’s sooo fun! She doesn’t panic at all. Worth a try!
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I’d suggest laying her on the counter and washing her hair in the sink to get her use to it. Also I’d get a bucket for the tub and give her baths like that (while still washing her hair in the sink). That way she has a good connection to bath/wash days. Sensory issues are a huge.
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Make it fun let her wash ur hair maybe that might help
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Get her toys for the shower. We had mermaids
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I use bath paint with my almost 6 year old. Only way so he doesn’t freak out. U can it at the dollar tree.
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My youngest was like this, I got her bath and shower crayons and it changed her overnight. She’s loved it ever since
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I sometimes jumps in the shower with my toddler to give him confidence. Holding him or his hand while he is under the water. They are scared of the shower water pressure I guess. And play with him and tell him that he is very brave and a big guy for showering.
how about trying to use an inflatable tub we put it in our shower stall
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