How can I get out of going on a trip with my friend?

How can I get out of going on a trip with my friend for my birthday? Backstory: I told her I wanted to either go wine tasting by the coast or go to Vegas as this is the first birthday in 5 years I get to celebrate as single I want to do something fun! She said let’s go to Vegas and I’m like okay cool. I told her I wanted to stay on the strip like in the middle closer to things and she’s like I don’t stay on the strip and I like the old strip so she booked the hotel on the old Vegas strip and now I guess her husband is going and they want me to pay half for the hotel which i don’t think is fair since it’s 3 of us then she asked if I will be driving myself bc she’s gonna go with her husband and I told her no cause I don’t want to risk my car over heating driving in super hot temps since we’d be going this month, then she’s never asked what I wanted to do but planning a whole trip around what she wants to do and it’s things I’m not interested in like going kayaking or riding ATV’s and stuff which is things I could do locally and I had a tumor removed in my nose 2 weeks ago so I still have to stay out of the heat which was an excuse I tried using to get out of going but she’s like we can spend most of our time at the pool but now she’s inviting people and I have no idea who they are and she’s like I wanted to surprise you by a group of us going but now I just feel like she’s using me as an excuse to go to say she’s going for my birthday… but the whole trip does not sound fun anymore and I don’t want it to be weird or awkward around people I don’t know.


Tell her u decided not to go.
I appreciate her efforts but u just aren’t feeling up to it any more.


Sounds like your friend planned a trip for her and her husband and wants you to come along so you can pay for half. I’d tell her to enjoy her trip with her husband.


Just be honest. I’m not feeling 100% and would like to plan another time. I’m sorry. Hope you and your husband have fun


Politely let her know that this isn’t what you had envisioned for your birthday trip, however, her & her friends are welcome to enjoy their trip.


Be honest and tell her this isn’t the type of trip you wanted or need. Tell her to enjoy and have fun.


I would just tell her this is about me and my birthday and you turned it into what you want which is fine go and have fun!


Girl just tell her u ain’t going :clap: we to grown to be going on trips with ppl we don’t want to :love_you_gesture:


I would definitely make other plans for myself. No it isn’t rite for u to have to pay half there’s 2 of them no no no.


Tell her you changed your mind and don’t want to go anymore. Then make a plan for you to do something else that you want.


Yea you’re gonna just have to be honest with her and say how you feel about all of it.


Honesty is the best policy and such a relief truth be told.

Wording it right is key.

You can say, “Hey, are you listening?”

Wait for her response.

“I’ve been trying to tell you this isn’t what I wanted and I don’t want to go.”


You just tell her the truth and move on. It’s not that hard just to be blunt and honest with someone even if it hurts their feelings. It’s your birthday NOT hers. She’s being a selfish entitled brat quite honestly


I’d just sit down face to face with her and be honest. I’d say, I think we’re not communicating well about this trip. I had an entirely different type of getaway in mind…just us for a low-key girls weekend. Seems that you were thinking something very different. I’m just not into that idea for this trip so, I’m not going to be joining you. You’ll have to adjust your accommodation arrangements. Hope we can spend some time together soon…have a great trip. That should sum it up and explain enough without blaming or getting upset.


Doesn’t sound like a friend at all…she isn’t worried about you or your feelings so why should you be worried about hers…just tell her you aren’t going


I went to Vegas on a girls trip for my last birthday. One of my “friends” went out of her way to ruin the trip. I had a handful of things I wanted to do during the trip and she refused to do them. Guilt tripped me out of doing what I wanted. My advice is to make your own plans and if they come, great, if not then you will still get to do the things you want to do. I can’t comment on the paying half for the hotel as I paid for the whole airbnb for all of my guests, but you shouldn’t be paying more than your fair share. I guess if it’s 2 rooms and they take one and you take one that would be fair but give them the bigger room and then split by 3. You really might be better off just booking your stuff separately and meeting up with them occasionally because if you rely on them the whole time you’re going to be disappointed. Do you have someone else you can take that can split the room with you and stay with you through activities? That might be the best choice if possible.


I would tell her that it sounds like she planned a trip for her and not for you and that you are choosing to do something else for your birthday that you actually want to do and she can enjoy her trip with her husband and group of her friends. She was wrong for not listening to what you wanted for your birthday. You shouldn’t be forced to pay for half a trip that you really don’t want.

I would just be honest with her and tell her that the trip is not what or how you expected it to be. Let her know that when it was first discussed and you agreed, it was supposed to be the two of you but it’s no longer the trip you agreed to, so you don’t want to go


It’s your birthday, choose your fun, not good having a friend organise your fun when clearly she doesn’t know your likes or cares at all. She is all bout her!!


Just simply tell her things have gotten out of hand with the planning, this was supposed to be YOU and HER, for YOUR birthday. And now with all the extra people she’s invited, and events she’s planned (that don’t interest you at all), you’d rather not partake in the trip and just leave it at that. Tell her you will make other arrangements for your birthday!

Just be honest and let her know that you are no longer interested in going. Not what you want to do for YOUR birthday


Just be honest and tell her in the beginning the trip was for you to only to celebrate your b day and tell her she didn’t ask you if your husband and all these people could tag along. Just tell her you don’t wanna go and tell her. If she wants to hang out another time that’s cool but tell her to go have fun and you are going to set this one outm

Wow!! I get she thought that planning a trip with you to Vegas would be fun but to add additional people, make events & then detour the whole trip & expect you to pay half and ride alone … does not sound very thrilling.
Just tell her that you are no longer interested & that there’s no real polite way of saying that you are not going.


Just be straight up who cares let her know point blank hell to the nooo eff that crap you are not about to be uncomfortable on your birthday to please her when it should be the other way around stop being so scared to confront people call them out on their bullshit

I would just tell her the truth. You’re not interested in spending your birthday doing activities that you don’t like and in a hotel you didn’t choose yourself. Then book the trip that you want and meet up with them for drinks if you have time.


I’d use your tumour removal as an excuse. Say you still don’t feel 100% and now there’s so many people going you don’t want to let them all down if you have to keep cancelling plans while you’re out there so you’re going to stay close to home and so something smaller. I really don’t think it’s fair that she’s taken an idea you had for your birthday and turned it into her trip while using you for cheaper accommodation and you’ll be the one driving so you wouldn’t even be able to drink etc. You’ll end up being a spare on you’re own birthday trip and you’ll be running everyone around it’s not fair I definitely wouldn’t go.

Don’t go - tell her you’re feelings - honestly- if she a good friend, she’ll understand. Your doctor said to avoid heat - (probably -anything to sun exposure) as far as strangers while you’re healing - come on -really …. She doesn’t sound like a real friend- more like a self centered jerk.

Tell her to have a great time cause you’re not going lol go plan your own trip

So find another friend and go wine tasting instead. Tell your friend Las Vegas will be too hot for you and you want to do something more low key with just one person and do things you enjoy where you want to enjoy them. Tell her to have fun on the vacay she planned with all those people.


Please just say something came up. And you hope they all have fun.


Choose a different hotel were you want . Perhaps you can get someone else to go with and maybe meet up with the others for a dinner or two . Rest of the time do what you want .


Just be honest and tell her to have fun. You’ll be making your own plans since she wants to make all the choices that you don’t want to do! Friends like that who needs enemies! Go and have a blast!!


I would honestly tell her that it’s your bday that you initially planned and since she is turning into a celebration for her you are no longer going . I know it may be a little direct but it doesn’t sound like she’s taking your feelings and what you want in consideration. I hope you have a happy birthday and the tumor is nothing you need to worry about


You only have one life. I’m going on a camping trip this weekend that I’m not thrilled about, but I know it will be fun.
Unless you feel like you’ll absolutely hate every second, just go and enjoy :woman_shrugging:t4:

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Just be honest. Let her know you are not interested in the hotel she chose or the events she chose. Or the fact that you wanted to go with your friend and she invited her husband and now you are driving alone

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I would back out politely or invite another friend to do what you want to do and let the 1st friend hangout with her husband.

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Id just be honest tell her she’s being selfish by planning things you don’t want or can’t do and not actually going by anything you want to do tell her you don’t want to be the 3rd wheel on what is basically her date trip that sounds like your just funding half of tbh tell her the trip was meant to be the 2 of you not extra people .so now youd rather they went on their own

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Just tell her straight up you don’t wanna go.
Hey, I no longer want to go to Vegas for my birthday trip with you. I thought it was supposed to be a trip with just us two having fun, and I told you what I wanted to do but you disregarded everything I wanted to do. Instead, you invited your husband and other people, who I don’t even know to this trip. You never once asked me if it was okay and just did whatever you wanted to do. You can be mad at me if you want, but this trip was about me for my birthday. You completely disregarded me and I don’t appreciate that. You did whatever you wanted to do and are using my birthday as an excuse. I will no longer be going. Please don’t beg me to change my mind as I won’t be changing my mind. Have fun with your husband and friends.
That’s exactly what I would text her and tell her.
Also you need a new friend. She is not a friend. She is full of herself.

Just be honest with your friend…and I don’t blame you…tell her you want a girls weekend somewhere else


No is a complete sentence.


Be honest say, I thought it was just going to be just the two of us. She planned on something totally different. That wasn’t what you agreed to do. Say go without me, and say I’ll stay in the cool so ok can recover.

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I would let her and her husband go then I would go something else. I would say you would feel odd going with you and your husband.

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Just be honest and say this would be a better trip for the two of them to do together and plan something else. It’s ok to want different things.

Be honest. You’re not 100 percent about it and rain check her for later date if you’re up to it

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The truth is always the best answer. Be tactful and polite and grateful but honest.

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Just tell her you don’t like how it was planned out and you don’t want to go


Just tell her you won’t be able to make the trip. Maybe another time.

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I would say I’m not going


You don’t need an excuse, you are grown (right), have a real conversation and explain how you feel.

Wow. Your friend has some balls. I would just be straight up with her.

Just be honest about it with her and tell her you’re not going

Don’t go. She ruined it already

Just say no and don’t go !!

Say hey Bo, I don’t wanna go anymore so y’all have fun :v::heart:

I’d say well it’s my bday & I changed my mind I’m gonna do something different :dancer::woman_shrugging:

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What’s the problem? Tell her you aren’t going. Simple.


Just say you’re not interested.


Life is too short for this BS - tell her this is your day, not hers, and this is not what you wanted and then cancel or go with someone else.

I’d just tell her that you thought it would be for your birthday and you’d get to do things you liked with people you knew and wanted to spend your birthday with. And since none of what she’s planned has anything to do with your birthday wishes, you’re not going

You’re N adult just don’t go.

Just tell them , you do not want to go

Tell her you aren’t going 1. You don’t want
To drive by yourself 2. The itinerary is not what you had in mind 3. Awkwardness sharing a room with her and her husband

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She. Is. Not. Your. Friend.

Tell her to have fun, but you’re doing what you want for YOUR birthday. That’s all you need to say.

Just tell her your not going
And you have no intention of going

Tell her asap. Say I will not be able to go on the trip. Yall have a good time.
Repeat as necessary and do Not discuss further at All.

Just tell her? Explain that she’s planned a trip that isn’t what you want to do, it’s YOUR birthday trip so you’ll do your own thing & for her & her husband to enjoy the trip she planned.

Just tell her you’ll pass. Trips to Vegas by plane are cheap, and you can get flight, hotel, transfer from airport to your hotel on the strip CHEAP! FIND ANOTHER "FRIEND"TO GO WITH YOU!


Ask your Dr for a note to not go. :blue_heart:

Tell her you caught covid.


Be honest let her know you can’t be in the heat and tell her you don’t feel comfortable with the whole trip also you pay half room and drive by yourself up there? Not much of a birthday I think you are right I think she wants it to be fun for you so she is picking things she would like. Speak up tell her no and that you don’t want to drive up there and be In the heat when you just had a tumor in your nose removed

Just bring a friend and get your own room. If she’s talking about Fremont Street, that is so much fun. I like it better then the strip. So much cheaper. Otherwise, let her go and you stay home and just do what you want to do. Happy Birthday when it gets here!!:cake::ice_cream::confetti_ball::gift::partying_face::balloon:


It’s your birthday…not hers. Tell her to cancel the hotel so you can choose one on the strip. Also tell her if her hubby is going then it needs to be split three ways and you’d like to ride with them if possible. If she doesn’t like it then don’t go and plan something else.

That very quickly got dictated! Id be honest with her and tell her that it sounds a little overwhelming and not something you would enjoy so you don’t want to go it’s not the trip you planned for your birthday and you don’t think you would have as much fun as you would like nor do you want to prevent the others from having as much fun as they are wanting to try and go do

You’re a grown ass woman. Just tell her you’re not interested in going anymore and hope they all have fun. Period. You don’t owe anyone any detailed explanation. The more details you give or start using lies that’s when shit gets awkward. Also get a new bestie bc she clearly doesn’t care about you listen or hear you. Plan your own trip for yourself at a time place and activities you want to do. Then you can invite or not whoever you want to go

Tell her straight up that her arrangements are not suitable and she should have consulted with you and that because what was meant to be a quiet affair is now a group holiday you will not be going

Just tell her it isn’t what you wanted to do, tell her to go on and have fun.
Then hop on a plane,rent a car, go to the hotel of your choice and have a great birthday!!

Just tell her you are not up to it now and let her and her husband go with the others it’s not what you want to do so don’t go x

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Just show her this post. I think you explained the situation very well. She should understand.

Tell this isn’t the trip that you were look for. Tell her you aren’t going
Make plan for what you want to do for your birthday. Tell her this started out ad a two party girls triip. Tell her that in the future you and her can get together just the two of you.

Hey I’m sorry but this is supposed to be my birthday and you’ve completely disregarded everything I’ve said so I’ll just let yall have the trip and I’ll do my own.

Communicating is the best even if it upsets her. This is a day about You, it’s really ok for you to change your mind. Friendships should be stronger than that.

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Sounds like she is just expecting you to pay for her vacation not yours. Say buh-bye and go in your own vacation. Enjoy doing what you want!

Tell her. My car won’t make it. It’s my birthday and I wanna do things for my bday… I thought it was a girls trip but plans got changed and it’s oka… but I’m not gonna make it… it is what it is

You don’t have to make excuses, just be honest. It’s your life, it’s your birthday. Don’t worry about offending someone, make yourself happy because nobody else will. It sounds like she planned this trip for herself and just invited you along.

I would not go and blame it on the inability to pay for all the extra excursions. It sounds miserable

Just say no. Do what you want. It’s your day.

Tell her just that. Be honest with her

Tell her that’s not what you want for your birthday. You will plan what you want to do for your birthday.

Girl she is USING you to pay for HER vacation. Tell her you already booked your own room and events that YOU enjoy so you will not be contributing financially.

Just tell her your not going

Just tell her. You are not going!!! To hell with this friendship.

You tell her directly …sorry, you changed your mind and its all just not going to work for you, you aren’t going, and tell them to have a good time…without explaining & getting into the bowels of your legitimate reasons why.
You don’t owe that, and though its the truth of the matter, it will just become a verbal war of attrition where she gets defensive , justifies herself and actions, plays victim and makes you out to be the difficult heavy in it. Not worth it.
Going forward, refrain from making these types of ’ plans’ with this person again, if their habit is to completely hijack them in lieu of exclusively what she wants, now that you know this about her.

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Sounds like her and her hubby would be going alone

Just say no, it’s no longer what it was suppose to be

Speak up now . Just be honest. You thought it was a girl trip just you and her. You wanted it because you are single now . Other people coming is not your thing . Nor is any of the activities she has planned . You don’t like the heat and definitely do not want to go Atv riding you can do that where you live . You would like to see a few shows .

I wouldn’t go. Just tell her your not interested in going.

Just come out and tell her what you’re telling us! If she doesn’t like it , tell her to kick rocks!

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Quote " oh my goodness, my doctor wants to see me about my surgery, so sorry. I must cancel"

Don’t go. That bitch is planning a trip for HERSELF not you. How selfish considering it’s your birthday and she’s just taking over. I would leave that friendship behind, she sounds awful.

How old are you?
Because you sound like you’re turning 17.
Stand up for yourself, take a stand, and cancel your portion of the trip.
No arguing.
No guilt.
Like an adult.
Boom :boom: