Youre gonna get told, you have it good deal with it by many people. And it sounds like you do. But, I’ve been kinda in your shoes. I had alot of hate in my heart for a long time. But day by day. It got better. Day by day. I cared less & less about him. Knew all i should focus on is my child. See a doctor for depression. You got this.
I don’t have much advice besides keep on doing what your doing girl, im in the almost exact same boat. You are not alone!! I finally found someone and things are getting so much better!! It can and will happen when the time is right!
Sorry but all I read was a whole lot of whining…so much about him too.
- Accept the past for what it was. Accept that you cannot change any of it. Accept that some of it was your fault and accept that he may never accept any fault.
2.stop focusing on what he has 
“the grass always looks greener over there”. Like you said you have a nice home nice car great kids…work on making those things even better.
3.come to terms that this is a shard world and stop expecting that someone ‘even your family’ is going to step in and help you or save you.
- One day at a time…
And yes I speak from experience. 10 year marriage and I left with 4 kids, oldest at the time was 5 and the youngest was a newborn.
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You should be glad he’s gone if he treated you that way, my advice is , the best way to get over somebody , is to get over somebody else
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I’d be forwarding any inappropriate e-mails of him hitting on me to the girlfriend. A cheater is a cheater and if they’re talking marriage, she should know what she’s heading into.
Be grateful the bum is gone, karma will catch up with him in the long run. Focus on leading a good life for yourself and your kids💕
I hear ya , ur not alone😓
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Honey you are AMAZING!!! You are killing it where so many others would have walked away if in your shoes. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. I’ve been a strictly solo mom of 3, for 8 years, with no child support. It is a struggle, but worth it. Your kids will see your strength and it teaches them great things! You have the rest of your life to find a partner. Right now live for your kids 
And dont worry about what he is doing. He did you a favor. Never give up. You are doing great 
SHOW HER THE RECEIPTS !!! She is going to be going through the same shit as you if he’s trying to hit you up, you can either fuck her over or do her a solid.
As for him he’s not thriving, it’s a show…case in point number one he’s already trying to cheat if he hasn’t already done it to her. He’s a piece of shit. You’ll find someone one day, focus on you.
I married my high school sweet heart, have three kids with him, he just quit drinking after me being DONE. hope you find peace.