Please post anonymously. So long story short, I was engaged to the love of my life. I had a child before I met him and have a beautiful son. He was three at the time we got together. I was very cautious about introducing him as my child has some intellectual disabilities. So I met this guy, and I fell madly in love with him. He had a pretty rough upbringing. He grew up in foster care with his sister and was removed from his biological family at the age of 8. So he remembers a lot. When he turned 18, he was a junior in high school, and his adoptive family kicked him out. I got a job and finished high school. His best friend and his friend’s family took him in as one of their own. He later joined the military and reconnected with his biological family. When we got together, I never met his biological family. His mother didn’t like me before she even met me. My son and I loved him so much. Later in 2019, I found out I was expecting baby #2. He seemed so excited. Around Christmas time, he left us… no explanation and went to his biological mother’s home. He came back after the new Year in 2020 and agreed to get help and work out his own issues. February 2nd, he left us again. I was only 12 weeks pregnant. Then covid hit and schools shut down etc. My oldest struggles so much from everything, and I cannot stop blaming myself. To this day, I cannot forget it. I try working hard to raise my five-year-old and nine-month-old on my own, but I feel so empty and broken. After everything, I still love this man, but he moved across the country to be with his biological family. The only time he messages me is when he wants to talk sexually etc. Eventually, I just quit responding to that, but I still update him on our son and send photos. He never came back for the birth of our child, hasn’t visited him, but when he was three weeks old, I did travel across the country for him to meet him. We agreed he would come back to visit, but he still hasn’t. I’m trying to keep my personal feelings separate from co-parenting as that’s all I’ve ever wanted was my kid to have his dad. I just want to know how to heal or what steps I need to take. I can’t express how much I just hurt.
Learn to let him go. Seek counseling if needed. You and those kids deserve better.
As hard as it is I would cut all ties from him. If he had any interest in being a father then he would be and he would be around. It’s not your job to always get ahold of him to let him know things and show pics of your son. That’s not co-parenting. Move on and find someone worth you and your children’s time.
What you are doing is not co-parenting. He has no interest in his child or he would put effort into it. You are doing all the work. It’s obviously not mutual. Either take him to court for rights or child support. He clearly doesn’t want to be involved.
You may never know what happened or why. Thats the toughest part. Its impossible not to take that personally. It happened to me. Im very lucky that his friends and family told me he met someone else and was getting married to her. Hopefully thats not the case. Try not to take it personally, time to find a wonderful man who will treat you like royalty. Its very hard to do, I will be praying for you!
Pull up your big girl pants. And get yourself together. You’re not co-parenting. He’s not involved. Do for you and your beautiful babies. And things will in time come together.
You have to let him go. I’m in a very similar boat. Raised our 18 month old on my own and he has not looked back.
Awe … time go move on … I wouldn’t say co-parenting hes obviously not involved … you came this far with you just talng care of your kids keep going . If he had any interest he’d travel to come see his baby… you make effort to stay connected let him do his part by contacting
You can’t force him to be involved, you and the kids deserve better. Keep your head up and love them babies extra. 
That is not co parenting. I completely understand how you are feeling and what you are going thru. I am in a similar situation and it’s heartbreaking. Throw out anything you have around of him. Pictures. Shirts. Blankets. If it came from him or was his in any way it needs to go. Stop reaching out to him. Let him contact you and ask for pictures and things. See how long it takes for him to actually get in touch in regards to the child. Get therapy immediately. If all you do for a while is talk about him fine but seriously, get a therapist. There’s no shame in that what so ever. Time helps, I promise. It doesn’t seem like it but the more time that passes the easier it will be. Eventually you will heal. Maybe this is God’s plan. Maybe he’s making room for something and someone MUCH better in your life that you don’t even see coming. Hang in there and know you are not alone in this.
This is not co-parenting, first of all. He is not involved and I would not push him to be. And as far as getting over him? Only a total piece of garbage abandons a woman pregnant with their child (TWICE!) and their own child. He is garbage. Period. Do you want or deserve that for you or the baby? No.
Focus on you and your babies. It’s hard, I get it.
Seek legal advise about abandonment in your state. Document everything you can, and stay strong. Get counseling if you can. But realize this is who he is. If you can’t love your own kid how can you love anyone else?
Do not talk to him about anything but your child. And stop going out of your way to keep him informed. It is his responsibility to ask about his child and his responsibility to come visit.
That’s not coparenting sweetheart. He up and abandoned you all. Please don’t let him use you. Stop sending him anything about his child unless he asks since it doesn’t sound like he’s very interested. By your explanation he isn’t even communicating with you, so there’s no reason to blame yourself. His journey doesn’t seem to include you. Deep down you have to know what he’s done to you isn’t right and far from healthy and you and both your babies deserve so much better. 
That’s not coparenting. That’s you trying to get him to be involved.
Stop messaging, even regarding your son, unless he asks.
No communication. It’s time to move on.
It doesn’t even sound like co-parenting if he’s only ever met the baby once in 9 months. Letting go of someone you love is hard, especially a significant other, but just remember your love for your babies is so much more than that.
You miss the life you wanted with him.
What do you love about him, exactly?
His abandonment issues or his utter lack of respect?
Ensure you have legal & sole custody, which I never advise but in this case, do it.
Stop bending over backwards for some guy who essentially is using you. He made no secret of his issues. He is Not going to be the partner or parent you wish him to be so stop sending the pictures and making visits! He knows how to get ahold of you for booty calls so if he wants to be more he can get ahold of you it doesn’t sound like any actual coparenting is happening. You are basically single abd desperately doing whatever to keep him kind of involved. So just stop. You will move forward and feel better if you stop all this. If he wants you and if he wants to be a dad he would be and he would show up for you. He doesn’t care if you are hurt. Stay away from him get some child support some therapy and move on without him.
Your trying to hard with him, u can’t force him to be a father he’s clearly not ready nor interested. He needs to put in the effort. Don’t reach out to him anymore. Just focus on making your kids happy, no needed for the added stress.
It’s not love it’s the ideal of him and having a family. Your kids and yourself deserve better and so much more.
It’s you and your kids. Give your kids time to heal and give yourself time to heal.
If it wasn’t for you he wouldn’t even know what his child looks like…co parenting is when you both spend time and responsibilities…he does neither…
Stop sending him anything…stop calling… maybe if everyone stops making it easy he will grow up…
Yes he may of had a rough time…his issues…not yours or your kids, only he can change…grow…
Hunny you’re not co-parenting, you are doing it all PLUS his part of just needing to show up. Good for you for taking baby to meet dad but don’t force dad into babies life,
Speaking as a kid that never knew my dad
It was easier growing up having never met him or talked to him (not ha int my mom push that on him or myself really)
It make it easier to accept, cause I didn’t feel like I was loosing somebody, where as if you push and push for involvement, that he clearly doesn’t care about, you will
End up hurt and so will the baby,
Just move on babe, if he asks about the baby , tell him, but you’re not required to do any extra for the man
Stop doing for him he is a grown ass person. Don’t Force him or you to make him see the baby. Get a lawyer get full of custody of your son get child support make it right now so he can’t come back and take the baby. Then start yourself a journal and write in it whatever you wanna write about or if you feel like talking to him write a letter to him in the journal not sending it to him. That way you get your feelings out. Wish you the best!!!
Walk away from that situation. It seems as if he is not interested in you or your kids. You the kids deserve much better then this. As a mother your children should be top priority. Therapy is great to help you through the process. He most definitely is not coparenting, he’s being a yo-yo dad, if you can even say that for he never comes around on his own accord.
Cut contact. Dont update him on the kids. Stop sending messages and photos. He clearly dies not want to be a father. Don’t confuse love with emotional need or a trauma bond. That man does not love you. He just wants to use you for sex when it suits him. Dont ever take him back. You need to teach your son how to treat women right and you cant do that with a man like that in your life. He will never give you stability.
It doesn’t even sound like you are co-parenting. Make sure you have full custody and cut off all ties. That would be best for your kids, I think. It’s not healthy for anyone for him to come and go as he pleases.
This is not co-parenting. You are a single parent, raising kids on your own. If this man cared about you or your kids, he’d make that known. The faster you accept that, the easier it will be to get over him. Therapy is great for you and your older child to help cope.
Honey, I am not seeing anything in that saying that you are coparenting. You are a single parent. You are trying to continue a relationship by sharing photos of your son to a man who doesn’t seem to care enough to be a father.
File for full custody or for child support if you want him to partake in your childs upbringing.
Make sure you try to do something for yourself. Even 5 minutes of deep breathing and positive affirmations.
You deserve better.
This isn’t co-parenting. You are a single parent and it sounds like he doesn’t want to be involved. You need to find a way to move on or get counseling to move on for the sake of your children you are a strong woman you have shown that by taking care of those two children on your own. Maybe stronger than you know. You deserve better. You deserve love to be given back to you and your children. I hope you find that. Be honest with yourself about the situation and face it head on. You deserve the best!
He can’t love you or the kids because he doesn’t love himself. He’s very broken emotionally and isn’t able to be what he should be, what you and your kids need him to be. Stop trying with him. Focus on you and your kids.
Sweetie I’m so sorry your dealing with that. He’s not coparenting. At all. Not a smidge. If you truly want to get over him don’t give him the time of day. Tell him you’re willing to keep a line of communication open for parenting but other than that not to contact you. And stand your ground. He’ll either step up or walk away. If he walks away it’ll be hard, but you or the kids are better off if that’s the case.
It’s ok to love him that may never change. Be honest with yourself this man brings nothing positive to you or your children then concentrate on loving your self, your life as it is and your children.
Time to move on. The feelings aren’t mutual. It’s all one side and it’s only you hurting. Time to cut ties and focus on you and your children. He has to make the effort to have a relationship with the baby. Phone calls, visits, sending money. I know it hurts but save yourself more heartache . 
This isn’t coparenting. What I’m hearing is that he doesn’t plan on being involved with your child. It is not your responsibility to try and get him to have a relationship that he doesn’t want whether with you or your child. It will cause more pain and damage.
Sounds like you dodged a bullet. As much as I can understand wanting to have your family and have him in your life and your kids lives, I’d say cut him off. Make sure you have custody and move on. You sound like you are doing this momma thing on your own and killing it. Definitely too busy for whatever game this man-child is trying to play. You will need to cut contact as much as possible to get over it, don’t text him first unless there is an emergency he NEEDS to know about. Don’t send him pictures or updates, he gave up his right to those when he abandoned his child. Seek therapy if you need it, there is absolutely no shame in getting professional help navigating this.
Sounds like to me this guy prob has serious issues due to his childhood ( which isn’t his fault ) but … He’s grown now & needs to seek professional help to sort these problems out . Meanwhile you have to do you !! Walk away & move forward for you & your kids . I promise you things will get better & you can rebuild your life with someone new eventually 
Sorry, but this is not co-parenting. You are raising your kids on your own. The feelings are not mutual, it’s all one sided and it’s only hurting you. He seems like he has made his mind up, IF he wanted to be with you in a relationship and be in the kids lives he would be their with all of you. If he wants to see the kids he let him contact you. He has obviously moved on and you need to move on yourself.
That is the farthest thing from co-parenting. He’s a drop in dad when it’s convenient for him. Does he give you consistent and recordable child support? Does he visit them regularly? He lives in another state. How exactly do you co-parent from another state? Ask yourself that.
You aren’t in love with him. You are in love with the idea of having a healthy and together family. Maybe because you feel like that is what he needed to heal from his tragedies in life. You felt like you could complete him or fix him with your love. But that’s not how that works. He has to fix himself. And maybe his version of fixing himself doesn’t include you or his son. Maybe he’ll realize how much his son means to him some day. Hopefully.
But you need to heal you, for you and your children. You are their sole provider. As hard as it is it is time to move on and focus on yourself and your kids.
No many things wrong with this story just sad I think you need to get into some therapy to help you make better life choices And your 5 year old should see some one You have a big mess here lots of which you made with bad choices
This is not co-parenting. Co-parenting is when both parents are part of the child’s life. Honey, if he wanted to be there he would be. He is not. Phone calls are not co-parenting. Dose he pay child support? Dose he pay bills or buy things for the child? Dose he go to Dr. Appointments? I am assuming not as he didn’t show up for the child’s birth. Baby girl, you are a single mom. You are doing it alone. He ran out on you and his own child. You move on by actually moving on. He did you dirty!
If he wants pics and updates and visits with the kid, let him initiate it. Stop bending over backwards for someone who doesn’t care. You need to focus on you and your kids. He’s not going to change because you want him to. He has to want to do it on his own and for himself and for his kid. It’s clear that you’re better off without him. Take some time to figure out who you are and just do what needs to be done for you and the kids.
I had to coparent with a toxic person whom I was still in love with I wont go into too much detail but he was an addict … It was hard in the beginning but I kept telling myself hes not good for me or my son I allowed him to see and be in his sons life as long as he was sober… He tried to flirt with me and hit on me and be sexual with me but I wouldnt buy into it Id remind myself he hasnt changed… Id remember all the hurt the tears … And it got easier everyday till I only felt love for him being my sons father but nothing besides that… I know so many ppl say it but it really does get easier with time but dont go back to him for you and your kids let him be involved but you should keep your guard up you deserve better…
first off, file for child support. he absolutely owes you that. then realize you can’t make him change. decide what life you want for you and your kids and make a plan to get it.
I would travel 9 hours so that my daughter could see her dad… my first trip she was 2 weeks old. I sent the pictures, I called him to update him on his daughter…
After about a year… I realized that I was doing all the work so he could have a relationship with his daughter. I realized that it had to be 2 ways… I quit texting him, I quit FaceTiming him, I quit it all… I let his family know when I would be in town and set up time for them to have her (they called, and sent messages, etc).
It took him 6 years to realize that he missed out… he had to prove to me that he was willing to put in the work so that he could see her…
Tell dad that he needs to step up and figure out why kind of relationship he wants with his child… start it now since the child is young and it will be his/her normal… to travel back and forth, special dad time, etc.
That’s not coparenting when your doing all the work. Stay focused on your kids. If he wants to see the children let him come to them.
I’m so sorry you have to deal with all this responsibility on your own,but I think if he truly care about your kids, you won’t be the one looking for him or telling him about how they are, you have to face reality,the earlier the better.may God help you because I know is not going to be an easy journey but you are stronger than what you think.
I hate to say this short and sweet lose his number and start over. You have 2 beautiful kids and a life ahead of you don’t waste it on a fool. I’d even move screw him.
If he doesn’t make an effort don’t do it for him. He made his choice and you are going to have to move on and be mommy and daddy. It’s hard but worth it
Time that’s all you can give yourself and just don’t engage with the ex on any level of he’s not communicating with you leave it be sad as it is 
That’s not co-parenting. Cut him off and move on.
Love yourself. God will protect you.
Co-parenting means BOTH parents are involved in the children‘s life. Honey, he needs therapy and you would benefit from it as well. I hope you find some peace and become strong enough to let him go.
There is no co-parenting, raise the kids how you choose. Honestly I wouldn’t even update him on his child unless he asked !
It sounds like he is trying to fill a deep void in his lift to find out who he is . Please move on from this guy, accept financial support, but he has no ability to be there for you or your kids. Be the best mom ever and you will start to respect your self and hopefully move on. Good luck 
Get on with your life raise your boys get in church and enjoy life.
What kind of co parenting? Doesn’t sound like he is engaged in parenting at all. Don’t put your children through the ringer with this guy.
Build your self worth. He has issues that you cannot fix.
Sorry how is any of that co parenting? He has no interest in his child.
His early life is no excuse for being a crap person. Been there, done that - we all have choices and he has chosen to feel damn sorry for himself, be lazy and use it an excuse rather than do the hard work and change his ways to be a decent person, partner and father. Send him pictures of the children, send him copies of reports from nursery/school and let him know if they are ill. He is not co-parenting as he is not making any effort and has you doing all the running. My two grandchildren have a very absent father like that (his mother pays his child support ffs). At 16 and 14 they have come to terms with who and what he is and do fine without him as my daughter has decent male role models and other family who show them how to behave to others and what unconditional love is. I am sorry that you hurt so much but you have to face facts that he is not making any changes or any of the running, you need to stop pandering to him, he treated all of you in the worst possible way and he is not worthy of your care, love or attention. You are not really helping him learn that he needs to change. See him for what he is, see that you are a good mum and person and find someone who is worthy of you, get support from those who truly love the three of you, and find someone who will be a great “dad” for your children.
He is not co-parenting. Sounds like nothing more than a sperm donor. Does he pay regular child support?
I would suggest a therapist and a mediator
Easy… sleep with someone else that’s equal or better in the bedroom than they were.
Tell to kiss your sweet ass and forget him
Without more information it is difficult to assess the situation, however, honestly he sounds as if he has narcissistic personality disorder. If so, your only real answer is ABSOLUTELY no contact ever again.
Baby girl, that one’s broken, throw it out! He moved to be with his FAMILY that he missed YEARS with! He is searching for who he is, was, and wants to be. Your CHILDREN don’t have time for that! YOU shouldn’t be making time for that. He’s a project and you want to be the thing that makes him feel love and acceptance and all that other mushy crap the movies feed us…but he isn’t giving you that space and you BORE HIS CHILD! As a foster/adopted kid that is THE ONE THING he should be there for. My husband’s dad was never around, and my husband vowed to be there for his children and is every day! Go find a man who is stable and healthy emotionally.
He made his choice. He is not co-parenting with you. You love your children and yes its heartbreaking he doesn’t want the same. Write him out of your life…look for someone who will love you and your children.
Get a good cry ,scream out ,punch pillow then let all go .Say fuck him I’m better than him.tell yourself that when you fell like to go back.Love yourself first and take of you,then it will work out.Its his loss.New beginnings try new things ,meet new people.
That’s not coparenting dear.
See him for who he really is. And not for who he pretended to be. He’s a broken child in an adult mans body. He tried to be the adult, had sex and had a kid and then ran back to his mommy when life got difficult. Hes no man. Hes no father.
Give yourself and your kids the best gift: stay way from a boy like him! A real man would
It staying with you and your kids no matter what! Ur kids and you deserve better then that! It will be hard for you, but it will only make you stronger! Ur a great mom and a real man will find u and love your kids! Stay
Strong
Not to be mean but this isn’t even co-parenting. Co-parenting would be when both are there for the kids visa versa. He knows he has issues, but to admit does not mean there will be a change. He has proven to you he doesn’t want to be with you, he has shown you that not even his own son is his priority right now. Who knows maybe he will come to his senses but you need to move on. The kids do need their dad and mom but you shouldn’t be after him so your son can have a dad. Stop telling him about the kid. Let him look for his son. Your responsibility is to take care of yourself so you can find strength to keep going forward for your own children. They need you more because right now you are the only one so far that is stable. Focus on your kids. Men come and go but not your children. Leave him for good. He doesn’t deserve your love for him but your kids need your love and for you to love yourself.
You will heal, but in order for that to happen you need to let him go. Take a look at both your kids when they are asleep and in that moment pray for you and them. These are tough times to be wasting time on who don’t love you back.
Not co-parenting… Stop engaging with that lame and move on. You want a daddy for your kids? Time to find a new one.
Your gonna have to move on. He doesn’t want anything to do with your children and all your gonna do is end up broken all the time if u keep trying. You want for your son to have a dad is clouding ur judgement. I was there once. It takes time to except this mentally then the heart will follow. Just when I was ok with being alone with my son my wonderful husband came alone and the rest was history and he wanted to be a dad not only to our son together but to my first son
Your not coparenting if he doesnt have anything to do with his kids. Dont contact him about the kids and see how long it takes before he asks about them,if he doesnt want to be a father you cant force him too believe me i learned the hard way. You will get over it and be able to move on youre just not ready yet but you will be all you have control over is the parent that you are not how he is. Take care of yourself and your kids and in time you will forget about him.
Move on. Get some friends go have fun soon you will forget him. Later you gonna say eww why did i like him gross
He’s not interested in u or the baby. Get child support from him and dont let him sweet talk you.
It took me about a year and a half of heart break to finally move past the point that my sons bio wasn’t interested in being my sons dad. I did everything anything to get that man to be there was his son but they wont do it unless they want to. My son is 9 now and hes beginning to learn on his own the kind of person his bio dad is.
That doesn’t sound anything like co-parenting.
Cut your losses and move on!
He’s not coparenting. Let’s be clear here. Let👏 him👏go👏 his issues are his alone. You’re now putting yourself through BS and you have kids you need to think about. Sorry for being too direct but stop acting like a child. Get him with child support and move on for your sake and your kids sakes. Also therapy. Get therapy to help you move past this.
Turn your whole situation over to the Lord Jesus Christ…tell Him everything,and ask Him to help you heal…release this man to God’s capable Hands…
Seems like he doesn’t want to be involved in the kids life. Co-parenting means both parents want to be here and raise the child. I would say cut your ties and be done with it. He’s not worth the added stress.
This post made me angry when I read that you traveled cross-country in August, the height of the COVID pandemic, with a three week old. You put the lives of yourself and your children, assuming you took your other child, at risk for someone who isn’t worthy enough to carry your damn luggage. Sever this non-relationship and get on with your life, if not for you at least for the children!
He’s made it perfectly clear he is not interested in you or any of the children. Why keep chasing him? You need to grow up and be the parent your children need and deserve. Get some therapy for yourself and your children.
. Stop acting like a 15 year old. He owes you child support. Take him to court. Grow up. Get counseling
Isn’t he doing the same to his child just abandon him. Maybe he is hoping his son will find him when he is grown .then he can be dad without responsibility.
Start with defining what “co-parenting” means to you and what is actually is. Not trying to put you down but, when you figure out the difference you may find that the only issue with this relationship is what you are allowing.
Lay it ALL at the feet of Jesus and ask HIM to show you the way. Forgive that man who obviously has a a lot of hurt due to his past. Hurt people hurt other people. Love yourself and your children enough to get into some kind of counselling,/ recovery program and LISTEN to people who have walked in your shoes. Find a good church and study God’s word, you’ll be surprised how quick your situation can change. Let go of what YOU think is right and be teachable - you owe it to your children if you want a better life for them. Different actions result in a different life. Trust God and listen to His Word and then just DO it. I"ll pray for you to have supernatural revelations and the power to walk in a direction which will heal you and give you a new found freedom
He has no interest in being a dad,get on with your life let him go!!! Don’t look back!!!
This man needs professional help, that you can’t give him. Unless he WANTS to get better and actually wants be a father, he will not. This man won’t help himself so as long as he does not, he can’t help anyone else. Your hurting because your only human. You were probably expecting more from him. It’s hard being a single parent, and in your case with a child who already needs your full attention and a helpless newborn baby it’s got to be very hard for you alone. Even if he were around it my be adding on to your plate with " his issues. It could be much worse! As for his biological family, that’s only an excuse. He is a grown man with 2 hands and 2 feet with a head of his own. If he truly wanted to be a father and your companion he would find a way regardless of his biological family. He is a grown man, no one can tell him who can or can’t love. No one can tell him what to do in that dept. He is the one that has live with you not them. Whatever happens between you and him is private and only he can decide that part of his life for himself. We can’t change anyone remember that though. I’m thinking that his situation made you want to help him, love him, and possibly save him… However, since he is an adult he needs to want that for himself. He needs too want better and it doesn’t seem that way… Meanwhile your children won’t wait. They need you now. Your all they have. Your an adult as well and you know now what not having parents means to your children. Get some counseling, therapy, and remember to love yourself, and respect yourself and your kids as the most sacred part of yourself. You deserve to be treated with love and respect and for the person to be in it with you all the way. Write this man a serious letter. Tell him that he knows what it means for a child not to have his parents, from his own experience. That he shouldn’t use this as an excuse to not be a parent. Tell him that his child shouldn’t go thru the same absenceof his father. Tell him to get serious help for his own sake and his child. That he knows where his child is and that if he makes an effort to be there you will help your child build a good relationship with him. As for your relationship with him, I suggest you seek therapy yourself first. This man has serious issues that you can’t fix and it has hurt you deeply. Unless you both seek help I wouldn’t consider allowing him back in your home as this can really further damage you and your kids. Before you know it, it will become toxic. It takes time to heal. You also have to WANT better. Meanwhile get therapy or counseling. Do mediation, yoga, join some type of single parents program, work on yourself and your little family. Work on getting emotionaly, mentaly, and physically stronger. Sometimes it’s hard to see thru the pain when ur hurt. If you work on yourself with time you will see things in a better prospective. You can only help yourself.
Giirrll start letting yourself hate him lmao see the negativities. See the flaws. Stop seeing the FAKE good things. I was abused for 3.5 years with 2 kids… i get it. I finally got him to sign over his rights to the kids… Stop believing his lies and believe your self worth.
Co parenting requires two parents. Leave him right where he’s at.
Live your life, move on .Accept that he only cares about himself, that’s the truth. Now you only care about you and your children stop thinking about him. Build a happy life and love yourself first He has proved he isn’t worth your time or heartache. Time to move ahead Now
That’s not co parenting. He’s not being a parent at all. Sorry he is doing this to you.