Sounds like you need therapy! Why do you want someone so bad that doesn’t want you and is verbally abusive? It is not good for kids to be in that environment and they know when the parents aren’t in a happy, healthy relationship. I say, save some money and get out! Or get a divorce and make him leave but don’t stay living together. If you think it “might be” all your fault and you don’t know, you’ve probably been emotionally abused into thinking everything is all your fault! RUN!
Firstly if he doesn’t want you either you or him need to go immediately.
Have some damn pride! Since you don’t know your worth yet you need to distance yourself from any relationships at this time and get some counseling to build you self esteem.
If you have daughters would you want them to be this pathetic! Be the women and mother you want them to be and see. No love is worth the sacrifice of self. That is obsession and unhealthy on all levels.
Also you ever heard of playing hard to get. Men don’t want simpering cry babies they want bad bitches. I personally would have kicked him to the curb. I would be sad but you can’t make someone love you and you shouldn’t have to. Wake up and do better for yourself and your kids.