I recently suffered a miscarriage and it’s been so unbelievable hard on me I’ve been blaming myself like crazy over it my fiancé has been very supportive emotionally but it seems like he doesn’t want or is scared to touch me its making me feel even worse about myself like he blames me too or thinks I’m damaged. Has anyone experienced this? I just want him to hold me while I fall apart or snuggle with me at night because I need to feel that closeness to him.
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Men generally want to fix things. He can’t fix this so he probably doesnt know WHAT to do now. Tell him exactly what you said here. Then he’ll know.
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What Karen said. During my first miscarriage my husband did the same thing until I told him exactly what I needed from him.
It’s not your fault…dont blame yourself… I’ve lost 4 babies…and those babies are with Jesus… You will see your baby again … Sorry for your loss
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Ive lost 4…its never easy. Im so sorry this happened to you and your family. He is also dealing with the loss, but also trying to be strong for you. Tell him what you need from him. Ask him to hold you…tell him you need him. I doubt he blames you for anything. Its not ur fault you lost the baby. Its so sad, but it happens. Remind yourself that that baby wasnt ment to be…maybe something bad would happened to you or the child may have been super ill. Whats ment to be will be. Whats not ment to be will go away and give some kind of lesson (im not sure what it is…but for me it brought us closer and we got our dog after the last loss)
Had a miscarriage after a night out partying… didn’t even know I was pregnant at the time. Had been trying to get pregnant for ten yrs. The guilt is undescribable. Found out after a biopsy that it was a hormone deficiency that had been causing me to repeatedly miscarry. Still did a number on me emotionally. Men are problem solvers. When you tell them something’s wrong, they want to fix it. When it comes to women’s issues, they are list because they don’t know what to do or how to fix it. Talk to him, and tell him your concerns. Communication is the ultimate key in any relationship. If you tell him what you need, he will feel better and so will you. Remember, it may not have been his body that miscarried a child, but he just lost a baby, too. Ask him what he’s feeling, and what you can do to comfort him. Anytime it involves babies for men, it “just got real”.
DON’T forget that men grieve loss differently than women. Talk to him about it.
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My partner was at a loss when I had a miscarriage last September almost treading on egg shells for the fear of saying the wrong thing. Although he was there for me 100%
He’s just giving you time
Talk to him. Its ok. I was pregnant last year, and in December the baby died. They gave me meds to induce the miscarriage to finish. It failed. Then they waited 2 weeks and finally surgically removed our baby, right before christmas.
My partner is amazing, that said, what we go through is different, physically and emotionally.
Tell him that you want his hugs and cuddles. Tell him you need a safe place to grieve. Ask him if he is ok with providing that for you.
Also… I started going to therapy. My family was ready to and needed to move on, but because of the difference in experience I am unable to.
May I gently suggest therapy? Or a support group? Even one on Facebook! There are many.
I wish you healing and peace.
After 2 months I am still unable to look at others babies, or hear their cries and not fall apart.
So be ok with your need to grieve and his need to process … looking and feeling differently.
Its noones fault a miscarriage or a loss of a baby , think of it as the baby came down just to feel what its like to be in the womb , it never really wanted to be born just to feel the experience , time heals all x
I’m so very sorry for your lost. Your partner is grieving as well. Maybe he thinks you need time and space. Gently explain to him what you need (cuddles, hugs, closeness). Ask him if there is anything he needs from you. Communication is very important especially during a time like you are going through. Good luck dear!
Yes one baby died n other survived tube removed 3 months along twins yes - my husband was scared unsure emotional about many things ;”/
Talk to him, please please talk to him. He probably thinks u don’t want to be close. He won’t know how to help, he won’t know what you need. He will also be trying to get his head round it too. Talk talk talk, I can’t stress enough how important it is for you both to keep communication open. So sorry for your loss, my miscarriages were the hardest days of my life. Go easy on yourself. It is in no way your fault! much love and hugs 
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I’ve had many miscarriages. Not a single one of them was my fault tho i felt it and sometimes still do. It ia not your fault. I’m so sorry for your loss. My advice is to tell him exactly what you need. Communication is key. Miscarriage is hard on both parties. Prayers to you and I hope things look up soon.
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I’ve had 2 miscarriages. It’s easy to forget sometimes that they had a loss too- mostly because they rarely talk about their feelings. Also, because we’re so focused on our grief and the physical side of the loss that we don’t always think to ask them.
Ask him directly how he’s feeling about the loss. If he seems hesitant, tell him that you need to know how he feels because right now it feels like you’re alone in your grief. Tell him that you need a hug and you need to talk and you need him to share his feelings with you so that you both can work through it. Something like that.
I read that if you tried again and replaced the pregnancy with another before you completely dealt with the loss, it could affect your ability to bond with the new baby. It took me a year to really feel like I was ready. We suffered a second miscarriage and we decided to move on. Our other 2 were 8 and 7 by then… When they were 13 and 12, we were inspired to give it another chance and we now have a 14 month old.
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Tell him. Tell him exactly what you said here and also keep in one, he is likely grieving as well and may just be trying to give you the space he thanks you need.
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Talk to him about it. He probably doesn’t know what to do or what you want him to do. He also may be having a hard time working through it.
My ex husband did the same thing, I had to grieve by myself after 3 miscarriages with him no matter how many times I talked to him and told him I needed him. I bottled everything up until I exploded and ended in a divorce.
He’s probably going through some things himself after the loss. They don’t react the same way we do to things like this
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I had a miscarriage 2 yrars ago and none talks about miscarriages much and mums and dads that have been through it shouldnt stay quiet about it. My partner he didnt want anyone up or do anything i remmber him lying on the bed and being silent, and it crushed me. Give him time he’ll cone through and men grieve differently to women x
Communication is key, talk to him.
Look, you are not damaged. And a miscarriage happens MORE often than you think. This is one of the many things you have zero control over. Yes, both of you grieve…it is needed. But stop blaming or thinking you are to blame. It will take time for your hormones to be balanced again and you guys CAN try again when ready. Both of you have to talk this out if you haven’t already. Be there for each other and not just yourself. He is suffering to and could be thinking that there is something wrong with his sperm. You don’t know cause guys don’t really communicate their thoughts like woman do. For now, yes talk and get of the house for a movie date with dinner. Life isn’t over.
Don’t blame yourself it won’t help I know I gave birth to a still born it was hell so let it go when u r done with the greiving process u will make it through it’s been 45 years for me u won’t forget but u will go on with life
So sorry for your loss
Men don’t know how to respond to miscarriage ,I’ve had 3. . Its,hard for them to deal with the loss when they haven’t fully grasp the pregnancy without feeling the kicks and watch g you grow. All if the things that bond dad to baby. So they are at loss.having been told they have a child inside you and getting excited about that but not connected as you are, because you actually are going thru the changes hormonally arena all. So after the loss he’s sad but do sent know how to express it. He’s grieving too in his heart ,can’t express it outwardly.
He feels you are as fragile physically as you are emotionally. Tell him you just need him to hold you, as the man you loves you. Tell him how much you love him.
Try to understand that he lost that baby too.
Losing a child, whether in utero or not, is devastating for BOTH parents. It puts an emotional toll on both of you and it takes time to work through that. You are both 2 different people and the way and time it takes you to heal is different.
Try to understand that hes probably hurting too. And although he’s supporting you, are you supporting him? Because he needs it just as much as you do.
It is nothing you did that cause the misscarriage it will takes while to come to terms with do not be so hard on yourself
I have never been in your situation, but communicate with him. Communication is very important. I am sorry for your loss 