Just found out a couple of days ago my boyfriend and kids father has been talking to and maybe more with someone else behind my back. How can I get the strength and courage to leave? Help, please.
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Simple, ask yourself is this the example you wanna show to your kids? If the answer is no, get your things and leave.
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Strength and courage? No, all you need is money and to want to leave. Everything else will follow.
Just grab your kids and go. They deserve to see their mom being treated nicely.
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You just have to simply pack your shit, be done and don’t go back.
Respect matters. Loyalty matters too. If you are able to leave immediately, do it. Sometimes it’s not that simple, but continue to put yourself first, take it one day at a time while you plan your exit.
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You are worth more than to be treated that way. You deserve happiness and respect and you are showing your children how to treat their loved ones and how to allow people to treat them when you put up with that kind of stuff. It will be hard but staying will be harder. And will just prolong the inevitable. I wish you all the strength in the world.
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He doesn’t see your worth. It’s it worth staying?
Is it that you don’t have the courage or are you too dependant on him for survival? Coursge is easily found it you look to yourself for happiness and become emotionally aware and strong. If you’re dependant then you need to sell counseling or therapy and get the guidance you need to move on.
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Nobody wants to act like adults and figure out what went wrong for him to do that? Two sides to every story and the first answer shouldn’t be to pack and leave. Thats his kid too 
.
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You don’t need courage and strength. You need to know your worth. Then you’ll know what you need to do and will get it done. Best of luck
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Kick him out say ur done! Don’t give second chances he will do it again!
Why do you think that there are so many women with children are living just mom and the kids. Very few men can look after themselves because mothers have coddled their sons and need a woman to look after them
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Just leave… Idk what you can do tbh but he clearly doesn’t care soo why should you. I know that’s easier said than done but I definitely would want to stay where I want or didn’t feel welcome.
Strength and courage aren’t immediate. If what you really want is to leave, then leave. The strength and courage will happen afterwards. Gotta take a leap of faith first. Hugs.
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Honestly this kind of situation can have different outcomes, you can either talk with him about it, if you talk to him about it he could nip that in the bud. And it may never happen again. Or you talk to him about it and if he continues to do what he pleases and disregards you, then I would make a decision to leave. My SO cheated in the past, I gave him the opportunity to make it right with me and cut all ties with that person, and he chose to cut all ties with that person. We were together for almost 3 years, then cheated in that 3rd year, gave him another chance, and now we’ve been together for almost six years and married for almost 3 years, with no issues since.
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Realize you deserve better and leave. You obviously already know you need to leave, so do it. Strong or not, walk away and don’t let someone make you feel the way this guy is making you feel. You’re worth more than that.
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Wait till you get the tax return. Wait till YOU are good and ready. Dont let his bad choices become the reason you make a dramatic thoughtless exit. Plan things carefully take your time and get a job lined up and a place to stay. You can do this. You deserve to be loved in entirety! Your kids deserve to be loved completely.
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Your strength and courage are your kids.
Umm get up and leave…
Make sure your right before you make this decision. It could backfire. Custody battles are different now. Unless you’ve already thought of leaving him previous to this. Hugs it isn’t easy. Good luck
Don’t leave. Pack his stuff in a bag and leave it outside. Change the locks too. Cheaper than moving.
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Get mad and get a plan!! Don’t look back
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It’s not as easy as just leaving, but it is, if that makes sense. You get your ducks in a row, come up with a plan. It won’t all be perfect or go according to plan. You’ll do your best, you’ll survive the storm, and you’ll come out on the other side raising your babies with a mother who’s strong and will find true happiness. Life is short, don’t waste it. You’re important too.
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Make a plain girl dont do something fast sometimes you cut off your nose. Start by putting back some money. Find a place to live. Do NOT live together just bc you have kids. You need to start thinking would you want a man to do that to your child!
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I spent 11 years more than I should have with a man who did the same thing…trust me it is hard to leave, but do it now before he breaks you more.
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You just have to come up with a smart plan look at your options of where to go and leave remind yourself you deserve better and just go don’t have a big fight about it and seek counseling if you are having issues being strong even if it’s just online counseling or just reaching out to people on your side not to bash him or talk trash but to focus on you and your new plan
Don’t stay just because y’all have kids together. Don’t let your children grow up in a broken home. If he treats your kids good just leave but still co parent. When they time is ready you’ll find a great maa for you and your children. Anyone who is telling you too stay just because the kids is wrong. Like I said a broken home is worse than just being a single parent. Just trying too be mean just being honest. I hope everything works out for you and I wish you the best. Good luck.
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You would not be here asking this question if you already didn’t know the answer. Every single day you sit and wonder… what should I do??..is 1 more day added to the amount of time it will take you to get over it. You already know the answer. Sending you strength 
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It’s not easy leaving but have a plan in place. Find a place to stay. Find all the resources you may need. Not sure your financial situation but government assistance, any transportation, or living arrangements. Always have a back up in place also. It won’t be easy. Pack your things and your children’s things and tell him you’re leaving and this is why. You will discuss visitation with the kids and coparent with him. Set your boundaries and be firm. I’m sorry you’re going through this.
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Find your best self,and refuse to be mistreated!
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Leave now before your self esteem is destroyed and you think you have no choice but to stay. You know you deserve someone who is all about you and someone who doesn’t make you wonder why. Just think of your kids if they told you hey my boyfriend/girlfriend was talking to other people behind my back and who knows what else happened. What would you want them to do? Just always remember you need to be happy and if he really loved you he wouldn’t be wanting to talk to other people. I wish you the best of luck💕
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I’m pregnant and my babys father and I atent together its gonna be a bit of a struggle but I’m. Better off I was scared too but I’m honestly glad hes gone if he couldn’t treat me right
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First, ask yourself if you’re willing to really forgive him without blaming yourself or feels like you’re not good enough and won’t bring up the issue in the future.
If yes, talk to him but don’t ask why he did it. He might lie or try to justify and makes you feel worse.
Ask him if he wants to be with that other woman OR wants to fix the relationship? If he says he needs time, tell him to get out from the house first until he knows what he wants. Don’t contact him during that time. You have to be strong. This is also the time for you to grieve without him around and think about pros and cons and your plan.
In this situation, you’re the important person. A lot of women use kids as excuse to stay and ignore things while actually they’re the one who is scared of losing the guy. If you’re not happy and always suspicious afterwards, it’ll affect the kids.
If he wants to leave, don’t beg him, don’t guilt him, don’t yell at him, don’t blackmail him. Tell him he can leave and you will arrange for a discussion time with someone as mediator present. Choose someone he respects. Stay calm in front of him.
Make decisions using your mind, not your heart. I know it’s hard but you can do it. Many of us have done it too and we’re happier now. Don’t be scared.
Just leave. There is no easy way. U HAVE to do it for YOU or it will eat u alive and make u miserable. No sugar coating it. This is where u have to dig deep and hold fast to ur self respect. U r a queen, a goddess and u deserve someone u respects u AND ur children. It will hurt, it will get hard, u will cry…but hun it will get better!
I left my (now ex) husband…2 different deployments, taking care of his mom, 3 brothers and gma, staying 100% faithful, he still cheated. We did marriage counseling and he would text her at counseling.
Reach out to family and friends. They are ur #1 allies and us here too. Good luck hun
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You realise that you and your children desirve better. Talk to your family they maybe able to help. It will be hard at first but eventually you will look back and realise it’s the best thing you did. Good luck, your strong, get yourself sorted and then find a loyal man who will love your babies and you and treat you like a queen.
People don’t shoot me.
Lots of people stay in a relationship with a partner who has cheated. It depends on can you forgive and forget the indiscretion. It’s your personal choice. Marriages can be saved.
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I’ve been there first you need to grow a back bone and relize you got this and you have never needed him you are stronger then you will ever know… show your kids what a happy family actually is and honey it starts with a happy mom
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Find out before you freak out. If it’s true, and that’s a deal breaker for you, then there’s only one way to leave and that’s one foot in front of the other. The rest really will sort itself. Good luck.
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U answered yr own question . U have the courage. Now plan yr exit so u come out financially safe .
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You just leave. Period.
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Make a plan. Then do it. Each day will get better. You got this.
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I wouldn’t talk to him. That gives him the opportunity to manipulate you and the situation. Get out and don’t look back.
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Think about your child
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If you aren’t happy, your kids won’t be happy. You deserve more. Don’t ever forget that.
First of all talk to him and see what he have to say be strong don’t take no bs and then make your decision x
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Just prepare yourself make sure your bank account is fixed and find another place to move to and when he is gone just move it all at once
You cant be a good mom if you’re not a happy mom.
Your worth is more… hang in get your own place. BOY BY
If you don’t leave you’re basically giving him a free ticket to do it again. Now you’re a victim. Don’t become a volunteer.
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Find a place to go before you say anything and get there with your children before you do. Don’t let anyone except one or two people really know where you are. People have good intentions but aren’t always smart with the information they lend others. Always stay safe 
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Just leave! Leave emotions behind and do what is best for you and your kids. Take it from someone that has lived this life! Get out, NOW!
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Can you go home to your parents place for a while, till you can find your feet hon…I stayed with a cheater, for 16 years, he won’t change…Good luck hon…
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Think about what’s best for you and your kids. Its not going to be staying with him. You don’t want that kind of example for them.
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First you have to give yourself permission to accept that you are more important than to be disrespected like that. Second, you have to accept that your children deserve to have a mother who is at her best and that will only happen by ridding yourself of the toxicity. Then look at your children and realize what advice you’d give them if they were done that way… you’ll find the courage. You can do it, many of us have done it, myself included… you got this girl
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Just do it!! You & your children do not deserve any of your lives wasted on someone who does not appreciate & respect you…teach your children well
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It is heartbreaking, but that’s just the beginning into depression if you stay with him. Get the balls and move on .
Leaving him is not the solution, talk to him maybe he’ll change, and remember he’s the father of your kid and your kids deserve both fatherly and motherly care, talk to him and put him in your prayer and I believe he’ll change, I want you to believe that no one is perfect. God bless you
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What would you want your kids to do if they were in the same situation, be a role model and don’t take anything less then what you deserve
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First I would make him leave why take the kids out of their home that they know much easier for him to move out than you’d move out with all the kids. Unless you can’t afford the place you’re at now
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Kids? They should be your motivation! They need to see their parents happy… Not necessarily together
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Now that you know the truth…just quietly plan your exit strategy. Leave. I’ve done this twice over once with my daughters father and again when I went through a divorce with my second child. You will feel so much better, I promise you. And remember it’s not a problem with you. This is a problem within himself.
Boy bye. Tell him you know everything and that he needs to leave. Tell him there is no need for explanation, doesn’t need to be difficult. Just tell him he needs to get out.
Just do it. And don’t look back
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When you get tired of it you will leave and not 1 minute sooner regardless of what Anyone says to you
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Put your kids first. That’s all it should take
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#selfrespect. Get it.
Just leave. Love yourself more than anyone on this earth does & LEAVE!
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No legal battle? Just some fake i love yous? Chile I would run up out there. Aint no way i would even have time to ask!!
Start seeing a therapist
Support from a family member.
Walk away, don’t need to the ex knowing your personal .
I mean if you can’t find the courage to leave a man who’s been cheating on you I’m not sure words from a bunch of strangers is going to help 
he’s already completely disrespected you and clearly doesn’t love you. What more do you want people to say?
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I say you should talk to him about it first. It sounds like you don’t actually know he’s being unfaithful… it would be unfair to end things on assumptions. Find out first.
He could also only be talking (which is still bad but, way more fixable), realize he’s messing up, and fix things with you. Which won’t happen if you don’t give him the chance.
Communication is essential in a relationship.
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Put your walls up and make a plan. You are not going to find the strength to do it…strength comes After. Send him out, change the locks, seek therapy. Focus on what you and your kids need. “Just talking” is a nice way to excuse bad behaviour. If he wants to fix things, he can do that in therapy with you while he lives elsewhere. I refuse to allow another grown up to continue the benefits of a shared household while they are unsure of who I am to them. Which is exactly what goes on when a man is seeking entertainment from other women.
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Get a plan then leave!
Communication is key.
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Know your worth. Show your kids how to walk away from disrespect. You are not second prize to anyone, ever. You are platinum.
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Don’t just up and leave. Talk to him if you want to salvage the relationship. Try counseling.
Get advice from a women’s center and get statements from banks and any other assets immediately for child support purposes. Plan how you will be able to support yourself and the kids. This may take time, training and lots of effort. Figure out a safe house if he goes berserk: someplace he wouldn’t think to look for you away from your area. Chances are you won’t need it, but better safe than sorry.
Talk to a lawyer about support and custody laws in your state (and save for lawyer fees; the consult should be free), and a social worker about state services available. Plan your work and work your plan behind the scenes.
Being a single parent of multiple kids is very hard. Be sure you have a good support system in place. You’re scared because you’re facing lots of hard work, but you will find you are up to the task. You are young enough to have much of your life ahead of you.
Don’t ever be dependent on a man again so you can always get out of a bad situation.
Good resource: the www.thewomenscenter.org
Depends on who’s house it is. If it’s yours pack his shit put it outside while he’s gone and change the locks. If it’s his house pack your shit and kids shit and just leave. I moved in with my parents. BUT if you ever thing you’ll go back to him DO NOT involve family
It doesn’t usually take courage,but self respect. Since there are kids involved I’d do it gracefully because they are watching.
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Think of all the things you want from he that he is refusing to do for you. You deserve respect not bullshit.
Have you confronted your boyfriend about his infidelity? Found out reasons why this has happened? I also strongly suggest you talk with a therapist, not take advice from people online who know nothing about you, your SO and situation. People will never understand unless they have walked in your shoes.
Your kids deserve to grow up watching their mama be loved to the fullest extent.
That man doesn’t love you if he’s willing to hurt you like that.
At first it will hurt, but if you choose to stay you’ll never forgive him, you’ll always have trust issues & you’ll never ever look at him the same again.
You deserve more than that. 
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Had this happen to me,was engaged,bought her a home to start a family,shit happens…i kept the house she moved out no kids but she kinda abandoned her dog on me,her loss tho 
If someone don’t add value to your live.it is better to be on you own.
Take a long hard look in the mirror if the person looking back at you is not who you should be.
Think of were you would like to be in 10 years .
Make the hard choice walk away. Cry if you have to sad days will come but in 2 years if you work hard on making good choices for your self and your child .
You will be happy.
First u cross all your T’s and dot all your I’s. Get yourself a place to stay first. During this process do not forgive him and do not give into him. Remember happiness is out there and you can too have it. I know it’s hard I have been in your shoes and it SUCKS. You’re not as weak as he has made you think. You can do better then him and without him. Remember he has hurt you and you don’t deserve that and he’s going to keep doing the same. You got this.
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Just. Get. Your. Shit & Leave. You. Don’t. Need. There. Bullshit. If. I. Can. Raise. 4. Boys. By. Myself. & Work. 1. Job. Without. Government. Handouts. Anybody. Can. You. Just. Have. To. Have. The. Guts.
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I am sitting in the same position, I am 6 months pregnant, and this is happening to me now
Come up with a plan and just go. You dont want him to have the satisfaction of walking out on you. If he is cheating at some point you wont have a choice and will be screwed and have a super short time to figure it out.
Respect yourself enough to leave him!! He does this because he thinks you will never leave him!! Do you want to keep hurting and feeling lower than dirt every day? Thats not healthy for you at all!! Crying and crying isn’t gonna change what is happening. You gotta fight with all your strength and pull yourself out!! Remember lots of women are suffering through these things too but half of them choose to get out. If not, you’ll be so miserable!! You choose if he’s worth all that misery and pain!!
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Is he actually cheating and not just friends first of all
Ask yourself how much you truly LOVE yourself and what you and your kids deserve.
You should found the strength in your own answer, on your own proudness as woman.
Don’t let him make you a victim, be your own hero, be your kids hero!!
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First off, protect yourself. Get an attorney. Then have him evicted from your home.
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Just do it, I know how it is to be uncertain about what happens when you do but trust me to stay would be worse. You’d be unhappy and miserable and your kids would grow thinking it’s normal. I’m sure you don’t want that for your kids.
If you dont want to put up with bull shit like this you just grab your kids and leave.
Takes more brains then courage
Don’t let him teach your children how to treat you, and women in their future.
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