It’s been seven years that my two children’s biological father hasn’t had anything to do with them; they are 6 and 7 years old. The biological father’s family has been involved in their lives but never him, never child support or anything from his end. I’m getting married and would like to do a stepparent adoption; this is the only Dad that they actually have known since they were 2 and 3. My main question is if anyone has gone through something similar and if it was hard to terminate parental rights for adoption. I’ve had lawyers tell me to contact the biological father to ask if he will willingly give up rights but not so sure how that would go. Please keep anonymous, We’ve never had paternity and he’s not on the bc. I also tried contacting when they were younger, and he would never keep contact or make any appearances, I made an attempt a few times and gave up on it, so my children’s feeling wouldn’t be hurt anymore
Since he isn’t on the bc he doesn’t have any Rights
As far as im aware he has no rights if hes not on bc he would have to prove hes the father via dna test and then he would have to fight via courts to have any kind of rights if he wanted them x
You would have to petition the court, say how it would be in the kids best interests, and their biofather would have to appear in court and willingly give up his rights. You ca. Tey and fight how he hasnt been in their lives however if he shows up and says he wants to be the court will.not grant.in your favor
Do what your lawyer said. It’s easier if they do it willingly. If he says no they can file under abandonment laws if it’s been a year of no visits no child support and no contact. Then it’ll be done automatically
If it were me, I would ask the father if he wanted to give up parental rights or pay 7 years of back child support plus ongoing support for another 12 years. Send the request via a lawyer so he knows t
I wouldn’t think he had any rights either.
I would think it would be easier for them to terminate without his help actually. One year with no support or no contact is enough for the court to terminate his rights. You will need his address though. They will have to serve him papers and give him his right to show up in court and disagree if he wants to. He doesn’t have to show, they just have to serve him with the papers. If he agrees to it, they will make him take classes and meet certain requirements to make sure he understands what he’s doing. It’s not just as simple as him singing a piece of paper but it’s also not impossible
File for child support and then he will probably suggest giving up his rights. Most courts will not terminate parental rights without a substantiated abuse case.
The birth certificate is just a piece of paper. You could put anyone on it. He needs to willingly terminate his rights. That’d be the easiest. In my state, you’d have to prove that he is the father and terminate rights from there.
Step Parent Adoption process varies from state to state…in California it is a lengthy process, but doable. Most states require a valid marriage license for a minimum of 2 years before the step parent adoption process can start. Hire an attorney, they are worth every penny and know the process thoroughly
Each state is different. In Ohio, even if the father is on the birth certificate, unless married, he has no rights until established paternity test from court. But not all states are the same. In reality only a lawyer will be able to give you the advice you need. You’ll have to go to court. Courts will probably give you zero problems since he’s not on the birth certificate, no child support, no paternity, and he abandoned his children.
The parent must terminate their own rights
They have to sign something terminating his rights.
File for abandonment
Umm listen to what ur lawyer already told you what to do 
If they have never established paternity and have proof the father knowingly knew about them and has known your address and number to be able to get ahold of his children then if I were you I would just get a lawyer and prove he’s had the chance but didn’t take it.
Idk if it’s the same everywhere but my cousin had parental rights stripped from her first baby’s dad after a solid year had passed with no contact or attempt to contact. He had also moved states away so I’m not sure if that played a part. Her now husband had formally adopted her daughter once the parental right of the father were legally stripped.
If he not on the bc just have the dad who raised them sign with no test!
file abandonment charges
Your best bet is to consult an attorney in your state. They’ll know the regulations for the state that you live in. They vary differently from state to state.
Since he’s not on the birth certificate and never established paternity, there’s nothing to terminate. Go to the court house and have your significant other sign an acknowledgment of paternity. This will allow you to put him on the birth certificate and he’ll be their legal father.
If he isn’t on the bc there are no rights to get rid of. Just petition the court for adoption
Your options vary greatly state to state. Some states are very simple, some states it’s quite a process. You need a family law attorney if you aren’t willing to just ask him.
Not sure what state your in but in MN dads have to sign a recognition of parentage.
I dont know anything that would help on this subject! But i just wanted to tell you Good luck!! 
I would think that your lawyers advise is your best bet. I would listen to a lawyer over asking for advice on the internet. Laws vary state to state & I know that everyone has only the best intentions, but they may not know the law in your state. Best of luck to you & your family moving forward 
He’s not on the birth certificate so he doesn’t have a say in anything you do that pertains to the children. They’re your kids and that’s it. Do as you please. He doesn’t need to give permission on anything whatsoever.
After five years of nothing money or contact you can go for abandonment. Just file the paperwork.
Yeah If he isn’t on the birth certificate you don’t need anything from him. Just proceed with the adoption. He legally had no rights unless he goes to court and has them order you to do a paternity test. You’re golden.
There’s no rights to terminate. I’ve been through this with my two youngest.
I do believe you can file abandonment and since he never actually signed the papers really they aren’t his kids and you should be able to just proceed with the adoption especially if your current man has been the father figure for years already but I’d definitely cover all avenues and make sure it all %100 legit because laws vary in different places
It varys. Unless you can prove no contact for more then 6 months to a year. No contact means not even seeing the children when they are with his family. You have to be able to prove they abandoned their children. Not an easy fight unless you have the proof! Proof is everything to the judges. And yes I know from experience
I would get a lawyer, have him draft the paperwork and send it to him with a court date. If he doesn’t answer or doesn’t show up.at court…hes done. At the same time have the lawyer draft the paperwork for your husband, u have to be married to him, to adopt the children. U can get them new bc with their new name.
I heard for your partner to adopt them the biological parent has to go 1 year without seeing them or contacting and 1 year without child support so it shouldn’t be to difficult.
If hes not on the birth certificate then why go after him? Technically there’s no father. So have your soon to be husband adopt them.
If you have to. Put something in the paper for the bio dad. And if he doesn’t respond in a certain amount of days thats him giving up his rights. At least in Massachusetts thats how it works
I did this. It wasn’t too difficult. Set up a consultation with a lawyer. They will tell you all about the laws for your state.
Our lawyer had to file papers of intent to adopt, the father had to be notified, with papers that were served to him. He had a certain amount of time to object. He did not. He had the option to show up to court. He did not. His rights were terminated and my husband adopted.
It may be slightly different for you since paternity was never established. But it is extremely easy to just set up an appointment with a family court lawyer in your area and they will give you all of the details. Each state differs and esch situation differs.
I just completed my sons stepparent adoption in January. His biological mother hadn’t seen him since he was a year old and he is now almost 7. Lawyer advised me to contact her to ask about signing away her rights so I did and luckily she signed them over. We started the adoption in November of last year and we completed it in January. With paternity not being established I would assume DNA tests would have to be done before they would even send him termination papers. Good luck!
Each state is different. I’m in Alaska. My son’s dad was absent for 2 years. He refused to terminate rights or pay child support. Went to court. Here the court wants 50/50 unless proven unfit. So because my ex responded to the custody filing, and showed interest in being a parent legally, he was given 50% custody. Took 2 more years of him not following the schedule for me to modify for full custody. I had established paternity on the birth certificate. That may be your saving grace
If he isn’t on the birth certificate… then just go to where you get birth certificate and tell them you would like to add the father to it . .put step dad’s name
Go to the clerk of court at the probate office, they can tell you what you need to do. The idea that he wouldn’t be responsible for any future child support made my ex sign over his rights to my 2 kids so my then husband could adopt them. It’s not that hard. Make sure you check to see if there are grandparents rights in your state, they may fight u
My husband did it 35 years ago. The real father never even came to the court hearing. Judge says to my husband “I give you a lot of credit wanting to take 2 children as your own. They are yours.”
Easy peeasey
We are in Florida. We actually got new birth certificates with my husband listed as father!
I also hope I don’t cut the biological family who has been there out of ur lives. U can never have too much love and family who care.
Laws vary from state to state. A lawyer can send him a letter asking for termination. Since he hasnt paid any child support, that can be used as a bargaining tool. Pray all goes well.
It’s very hard to do. Even if they are absent!
Get a lawyer and go to the court house
In nc you have to be married for a certain amount of time even if you can get the dad to sign or prove abandonment…i was warned that trying to take this route could end up with the courts trying to mediate with the “father” and end up with custody or visitation he may not have otherwise sought…
Even though he hasn’t seen the child doesn’t mean child abandonment. You will have to check with your state’s laws. My husband adopted my first son after his biological father signed over his rights. Even though my ex hadn’t seen my son in over 6 years, because my ex was still alive he had rights. We paid for a private investigator to track him down and sign the papers. He eventually did but it did cost us. No amount of money will replace the fact that my husband can legally call our son his son. He always did but according to the law he technically wasn’t his father, now he is. Most important is to check with your state family laws and see what is allowed and what you need to do. I thought at first, like you are, that if the biological went been around, he is null and void. But the law doesn’t see it that way. Good luck and remember no matter what you are put through, you are doing this for your kids.
I’d look into your state laws as far as how long a parent can go without contact before they basically give their rights up. I’d imagine it would be fairly easy. My dad (step dad) raised me from the time I was two and when I was three he legally adopted me with no issues and was able to be my parent vs my biological father. Although my father did not show up to court or try to fight this so it could vary.
W mine, back in the 80’a I had to put an “ad” in the paper to find him if he didn’t respond I was good, he wasnt on the BBC nor did he pay CS, so I was able to get papers done for my parents to have legal custody if anything happened to me! Good luck hope everything wks out for u and ur family
You need to first establish his right. Find him and test him. Get him on birth certificate. Then you need to ask him to terminate. Even if he agrees, he still has to show up at a court date. So you can get him on birth certificate and then u can put an add in the paper to seek him and the rights. If it goes unnoticed you can file to terminate him saying you do not know where he is or anything. If you can not get him on birth certificate. Then you have to actively prove you tried to find him and nothing has served him. Good luck
My husband adopted my son. His bio dad agreed to sign his rights though so it was pretty easy. He never had anything to do with him but I still made him pay child support. He called me complaining he couldn’t afford it one day, I told him he could sign and let my husband adopt him and he agreed. He was adopted right before his 2nd birthday. We had already been discussing it though and if he wasn’t going to agree we were going to try to strip his rights. After so much time has passed without contact, you can have his rights pulled as long as someone is willing to take the place and adopt. But you have to try for consent first
Do you even need to contact the bio dad if he isn’t on the birth certificate? I would try to get a consultation with a lawyer to find out. Otherwise, I live in Texas and was told you could only terminate rights if they were a danger to the child. The father ended up voluntarily giving them up. I would just ask. I doubt it would bother him if he hasn’t bothered to see them in 7 years.
You can file child abandonment with the court. I would wait until after you are married as it does make it easier.
The lawyer is right easiest if you can get him to just sign off which I imagine he would since he hasn’t had anything to do with them.
If he isn’t on the birth certificates and you were not married, your new husband should be able to adopt them openly.
In my state you can only terminate if someone is willing to adopt them, and it’s abandonment if he hasn’t seen or supported them for Over a year. Get married and ask the court for an adoption is the easiest way!!
It was super easy for me in Payson. But the biological mother was on board and out of the state. Got an attorney and all was settled in two months!
He has no parental rights if hes not named on the birth certificate as far as I’m aware…
My kid’s dad left when my son was three. Showed back up when he was sixteen. Believe it or not got custody of my son
If he’s not on the birth certificate, then I don’t think he has legal rights.
you have to contact the ex, it’s the law, don’t trust an attorney their snakes, know from experience
Last I knew, the bio dad has to sign his rights over. Only if he’s not on the birth certificate
Where I’m at there can’t be any form of contact for 3 years and you have to be married for your spouse to adopt. Contact includes phone calls and child support. Even if they called your phone, regardless if it was about the child or not, it still counts. This is in Michigan. I was told in Florida it’s 2 years.
Biological dad will need to give up rights, good luck.
Different states have different laws…so best thing is to look up the laws specific to your state.
You should check the child abandonment petition for anything nope than 6 months without contac5
If he’s not on birth certificate and you weren’t married when they were born then according to most family court laws there is no father to take rights from. Check with the laws where you live though
A judge should be able to terminate his rights for no child support all those years
Ive been in the same boat. Biological father never signed birth certificate, never had paternity done, never attempted to see him 1x but he still technically had legal rights and can fight that later if you don’t go through the whole termination route. In my state its 1 yr no contact before abandonment can be set but it had already been 3 years. You get a lawyer, have him send youre ex termination papers, if you cant find him they’ll put it in the paper ect, he has 30 days to object or take action. If he doesn’t object or show up, they’ll usually terminate at you’re set court date and in my state you have to have a spouse to adopt the child and take responsibility. My exes rights were terminated and my husband was able to adopt our son within 30 minutes of each other but none of my exes family knew about our son so that might have been why it was smoother for us, I’m not sure.
My advice is “don’t poke the bear”. If you do this he may insert himself out of spite.
Dont hold me to this but I believe if he’s not on the BC the other man can just adopt them just tell them you dont know who the father is
You haven’t legally established paternity. You can’t file abandonment to the best of my knowledge without first establishing paternity.
I’m doing it right now. Depends on the state. My state you will have to be married 2 yrs and then either the bio dad gives up his right willingly or you will have to have the judge take his rights
I read in Canada the child has to consent to be adopted if they are over 6 years old
It varies from state to state so contact a lawyer because you will need one
You cannot do it without their permission. My ex signed the papers but I never kept him from seeing my son.
He’s not listed on the birth certificate you shouldn’t have any problems at all with the adoption.
My sons father will come around every few months (3-4)
It’s an inconvenience
You have to prove that for a year he has attempted no contact which by most laws means he has legally abandoned them. Then when you do get married you have to be married for a year and the absent parent has to sign their rights away to your new spouse to be adopted.
From my understanding the biological parent has to have their rights terminated in order for a child to be adopted. It may vary from state to state but that’s how it is here in Illinois.
Never put yourself in between a parent and a child. The child can end up resenting you.
Not on the BC? Don’t think he has rights then
This all depends on what state you are in. Every state has different laws regarding paternity.
No paternity and no birth certificate? Sounds pretty easy to me.
He has to have no contact for one year. Then his rights can be terminated.
What is the reasoning behind you not wanting your ex to see his child???
Not married and not on the bc he shouldn’t have any rights to them in the first place?
also my 1st daughter’s dad is not involved in her life. Never has been. Hes not on the birth certificate but we did get a DNA test done through a kit and of course he was the father he had doubts I did not because ik who my child’s father is when i was pregnant. The only way to change my daughters name is I have go go through a lawyer and we plan on getting her adopted and also file for adornment against him. I’ve asked him to give up his rights and he will not. So im pretty sure he will do the same to you
if he says no tell him fine you are going for child support and back support bet he signs
I was in a similar situation and my ex husband hadn’t seen our daughter since she was 6 six weeks old because he was physically and verbally abusive. I went 5 years with no child support, his parents never send Birthday cards and never acknowledged her. I ran a notification in the local newspaper to change her last name to my maiden name because all she knew was our last names. But when I checked into termination of his parental rights, my lawyer told me the only was he’d grant the adoption was if I was in a serious relationship and we were getting married then they would grant it. Judge said said it was my daughter’s right to her child support money, etc. She’s 7 now and he’s still hasn’t tried to see her nor have his parents. But however, in the past year, he has started paying child support some months but not every month. It doesn’t hurt to try especially since you have a serious relationship and a man who is willing to step up and take his place. Good luck to you and your family and I hope ya’ll have an awesome outcome!
If you want to keep this information anonymous, you shouldn’t put it on Facebook❗
The first sentence makes me stop reading. Makes absolutely no sense.
You need legal advice l should lmagine.
File abandonment of the children is your first step. Also if he isnt on the birth certificate you should be able to just do the adoption.
He has to sign his rights over
U could of filed for abandonment along time ago
Get a lawyer. Get the right info. Not internet info
If he doesn’t come around to see them for a whole years . you file abandoment
You can talk to most lawyers for free consultation and you may want to do this to make sure you do everything correctly. In Illinois, if you are married at time your kids are born, your husband is presumed legal father and is put on the birth certificate -unless it gets contested and husband fights it and asks/pays for DNA testing. If you are not married, the father has to sign an acknowledgement of paternity waiver (agreeing they are the father) and be added to the birth certificate in order to have any legal rights. If he is not on the birth certificate, then he really has no legal rights (although at any time he could go to court and ask for DNA testing to gain legal rights). Your fiance should be able to openly adopt them since there is no legal father. BUT, I would assume that even once adopted, the legal father could still go to court for DNA test and to try to get rights. If he hasn’t had any contact in this long, even though his family has, chances are he won’t ever pursue anything - unless it would be just to spite you for remarrying, or to just be vindictive. Since he technically currently does not have legal rights, I’m not sure how he could sign them over… this is why your best bet is to talk with a lawyer to find out the laws in your area and the best way to proceed.
How has he had nothing to do with them for 7years and they are 6 and 7 and he has had nothing to do with them since they were 2&3? Am I struggling with basic math?
Every kid NEEDS to know where they come from. Senario: child’s grows up not knowing, other bio family has children of similar age. Children grow up. By chance, cross paths. Meet, fall in love, have a baby, find out they are genetically linked…
You had a child with someone who either doesn’t want to be there or you don’t want him there, either way, this was your mistake. This mistake won’t be undone merely because you found another man and you’re getting married. Where will it all be later down the track if this guy turns out to be same arsehole, different hat? And before anyone tries bashing me for my opinion, yes I have 2 exs to deal with and have never been there for the kids. My kids are now 17, 19, 20 and 22. They all have always known the truth, they have attempted to get to know their dad even though dad never changed. My kids are grateful they have atleast me because they know, mums always had their back and always will
The easiest, most efficient, feasible, financially achievable, and ethical way to go about this is to follow the advice of your lawyer.
Contact him, ask him to willfully sign his right’s over.
You need to married for 1 year in most states to do a step-parent adoption.
I highly doubt the people encouraging you to commit fraud have any legal backgrounds or experience.
He is the father until he’s not, listen to your lawyer.
It’s possible, if you can’t contact him to file an add in the paper through your attorney.
Abandonment is defined differently by each state, yours may or may not recognize it.