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"My daughters behavior is starting to interfere in our daily lives. She is 4 years old and her behavior is becoming overbearing. She will backtalk, hit, scream, and just not listen at all. We have took toys, whooped her, done timeouts, tried to sit her down and talk through her emotions with her. Nothing helps, she goes right back to what she was doing as soon as she is disciplined. For example yesterday we had guest over and she ran over and hit them, I took her out of the room and whooped her. She started crying and told me she was sorry. Not even 3 minutes later she ran back in here and started pulling my hair and went and smacked dad in the face. And this is a all day cycle with her. She has never been exposed to hitting or violence so I’m not sure why the hitting is a issue. From the age of 18 months she would bang her head against doors, headboard, etc. being frustrated, then started pulling her own hair. Her doctor said it was just how she dealt with her frustration, so I think maybe the hitting could also be the same? She will not listen to a word we say, for example we take her outside and she makes a run straight for the road. When we remind her everyday before we go out the dangers of running towards the road and why we don’t do it. I’m frustrated at this point and really just need some guidance on what we can do different being that no other punishments faze her."
TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"Shes never been exposed to violence?? You’re hitting her!"
"Bring it up to her doctor. my daughter was so extreme at a young age and turned out she had adhd. Now I know this may not be your case which is why I suggest explaining these behaviors to a trained professional because there definitely could be something more going on."
"You're teaching her it’s ok to hit outa frustration. You can’t do that to her and think she won’t do it…"
"She’s 4 she’s still in the I can’t sit still or stop phase. At 6 become concerned."
"Behavior therapy or maybe autism. But instead of listening to us I would continue seeking until you get an answer. I work with behavior and autistic kids and this is a trait. I wish you and your family the best."
"I mean…use some logic. You’re trying to teach your child not to hit…but you’re hitting your child because they hit someone else?"
"In my area they offer in home early intervention and work with behavioral therapy! My youngest has going through similar mood swings and not being able to properly communicate and she’s on the spectrum. I’d ask your doctor for a consult to see a behavioral therapist and ask about in home early intervention."
"Take her to a behavioral specialist she might be on the spectrum or have an issue you haven’t caught."
"She has been Exposed to violence you hit her"
"Have you had her tested for autism? I have two boys on the spectrum and this immediately made me think of them from what you described. It may be worth looking into"
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