My two year old lost his great-grandma first of this year. He was one then and starting talking. We saw her 3/4 times a month since he was a week old. Now he doesn’t talk or say the words he did before. There’s a lot of pointing and grunting, no words. He has a picture of them together and won’t let anyone touch it, takes it to bed sometimes or naps or puts their picture on the floor and plays their picture. Lately has been sleeping with the blanket grandma had in the nursing home. I talked to his Dr when he turned two and was told he needs a grieving period. I did take him to see her headstone and take her flowers, he took their picture and was showing her the flowers and the toy he brought. Is there more I need to do to help him. Breaks my heart seeing him hurting so much.
The best way to help him is your way.
My son was about 4 when my Grammy passed away and my daughter was 8 months. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do was explain to my son why Grammy wasn’t there anymore when we had Sunday dinners. I made sure We still talked about her a lot, I told him that she was our angel in heaven now. I keep lots of pictures of her in the house and we visit her headstone as well. On her angel day every year we release (biodegradable) balloons ( on amazon) and there faces light up when we do this. My son was old enough to realize I was grieving and would hug me whenever he saw me cry. He would say “ you miss Didi?” So he understood. I glad that we continue to talk about her. My daughter who doesn’t remember her knows her from her pictures. It does take time for little ones to get used to the fact that they are not there, but I reassure them that even though we cant see them anymore, they are always in our heart. Hope this helps and I’m sorry for your loss
My sons grandpa passed almost 2 years ago. He is having a really hard time with this. We had to get him a therapist to talk to. He would say things like I wish I could die so I could see grandpa again. He is 8. It is very hard when someone they are close to passes. Just keep doing what you are doing. It takes time it sounds like you are doing everything right momma hang in there.
My girls lost their Grandpa when they were only 3 and 4. My son was yet to be born, but he knows who Grandpa is. They were allowed to say goodbye that was the biggest thing. We sat them down and explained death and we have a beautiful painting of my dad fishing, we told them that’s where he is fishing in heaven. We also had them go through grief counseling. They speak of my dad freely and often We just added a memorial stone in our garden for him as well. hopefully that helps… Sorry for your loss
My son lost his father when he was almost 3 years old. We have always kept him in holidays, celebrate his birthday, talk about him whenever he wants, sometimes he cries and says how much he wishes he still hax his daddy. He will be 9 this year. He went through some phases for sure. Not long after it happened he had a lot of fits, screaming, crying, throwing toys…now he’s the sweetest boy I’ve ever met. I think time does heal some of the pain then some of it never heals. I had a blanket made for him that is covered in pictures of him and his dad and he has slept with it every single night.
When my Dad passed my Niece and Nephews took comfort in sending a balloon to the sky to say bye to their Grandad…We now refer to the stars as Grandad star…It seemed to help them…They were a similar age to your son when he passed…That was nearly 5yrs ago…We still say Grandad star and when they see a bright star they say its Grandad… xx
I sadly can be no help. I am so very sorry for your loss. But please, if you don’t already, have a copy/take a good photo of the picture. And laminate the one he has now. If it isn’t already done. I’d hate for him to lose it. Or get it ruined. best of luck! I hope he feels better soon poor bud.
Made my gut clench and my eyes water, my girls see their great grandma/grandpa 2-3times a week they are 2&3yrs old and have done so since birth. Hold that baby boy I can’t even imagine. Let him know grandma is happy and watching him play all the time maybe keep the blanket around as much as possible let him know grandma loves to see him happy, I may play into things a bit much but he is 2 if you believe in heaven explain that grandmas their and God needed her
You need to start talking to her and get him talking to her. If his bond was strong with her you have to believe she’s still around.
I was like that when my grandpa passed when I was about 5, I was his favorite. I stopped talking to people even in school & just cry out of nowhere. I remember my parents just trying to talk to me about many fun things, got me toys, took me outside to play. I can’t remember how long I was in that state but it will pass & I guess it is normal for kids to go through that kind of grieving. Just talk to him, be his comfort & be around him all the time.
Sorry for your loss. Sounds like you and he are doing all the right things to help him get over his loss. We all grieve in our own ways and for different lengths of time. Explain to him best that you can for his age that death is a natural part of the circle of life and that we believe we will all see our loved ones again some day.
I’ve been explaining death to my oldest daughter since she was 2. Ever since our dog ate our fish lol
I tell her the truth. I tell her what I believe. Everyone and everything has a time when it dies and their soul goes to heaven, but their body stays. Its the circle of life, but circles never end and we will see them again.
Maybe make a pillow with one of her shirts? A custom blanket with her picture? That’s so sad he feels that much at such a young age. What an amazing child
We explained that my dad went to God’s house. My oldest is 6 and she will send messages to him through God. We just let them feel their emotions and let them know it is ok to feel that way. Sorry for the loss
Slumberkins has an adorable little sprite stuffed animal with a book about grief and loss that I think would help!
bless his little heart
That is lovely Jayne xxxxx
I am so sorry for you loss my son lost both of his sisters before he was 3 and we just lost his grandma my husband and I have always told him the truth on all of his questions he knows that they live with the angels and god
My Grandpa died when I was two. I have strong memories of how I felt still. Most ask me how I can even remember. Just give him love and time. Talk about her and have happy memories.
It is very hard. Yes. No one really gets over it. Just has to learn to live with it. I use to take my 2 older kids to a grieving group. Once a year they had a potluck. You can do many things with him. They took pictures and put it on coffee cups. Got balloons and wrote messages and let them off once a year. Took an old t-shirt or what they would wear and make it into a pillow. You can make him a memory box. I used to make a little cake every year when my mom’s birthday came around. And talked about her for a few.
Hope some ideas help.
Sorry for your loss
Prayers for you and that sweet baby.
Talk to him a lot about grandma, let him tell you how he is feeling give him time, time doesn’t heal the loss but it will get easier to live with especially at his age. God needed a very special angel and he took her to his house. say these things to him someday you will go to Gods house not today but some day…Let him help you bake granmas cookie recipe, plant some favorite flowers, the more you involve him with things like this the more he will open up…
How are you doing thru all this. Kids are smart and I sure he misses her but sometimes they feel your pain. Allow him to feel the pain but remind him that she a good hands and now she’s watching him. Poor sweet boy. Blessing of heal.
There is no timeline on grief and every person handles grief in his or her own way. My mom just recently passed from cancer and I miss her every day… She and Dad were married for 45 years… Second marriage for both of them. Dad’s taking it hard as well…
My son did the same thing, my doctor said he needs to grieve start talking about the person.I did and my son cried and cried! Problem solved after that. Hope you have closure.
Hes just trying to figure it out and grieve, he can’t put into word what he’s feeling. He may also be sensing your pain. Idk your beliefs but if you believe in heaven, go play at the park and talk about her being in heaven while pointing at the sky. Let him know she’s still watching him. When you talk about her be positive and happy. We did that with my daughter when her great grandpa passed, she’d also go say goodnight to him and the moon. If it doesn’t get better in a few months maybe take him to a children’s therapist… the ones that play while they talk. Might help…
A foster child i once knew saw her mother killed. The foster parent drew a picture of what happened at talked to her about what was in the picture an that opened her up to grieve she was 2 an half. Maybe if u draw a picture of grandma in heaven an show him look grandma was with us now she is with Jesus an we will miss her but she is watching an we will one day see her again mayne it would help him to
Same situation. To help my child cope, we talk about Papa a lot. And we also talk to God a lot…about papa. Mine dreams about him…so we talk about how its just Gods way of letting Papa visit us. Heaven is real and we will see eachother again.
There are some really good children’s books on grieving that are a toddlers level. If he remains withdrawn and nonverbal, consider having him see a therapist that specializes in play therapy. It will allow him to use play to express his feelings and learn heathy coping skills.
Sounds like your doing a wonderful job. Give him time. He will come around. Sounds like a very smart child.
It’s all a matter of time. My niece was 2 when her primary care taker my mom died. My nephew was 1.
He didn’t speak at all for 6 months after. Not even grunts, he barely even cried. My niece also stopped talking but would still cry and grunt.
It took time and patience and lots of love. Just cuddle him close and remind him daily he’s loved. Make sure he knows she can watch over him and he has an angel always now
Spend extra time talking to him even if he doesn’t talk back comfort during grieving at any age is important just to know someone is there and loves them and that it’ll be ok makes a difference when he feels better he’ll start talking
If she was a babysitter or took care of him at times, he may be grieving her as his inner core caregiver group. Reassure him, let him grieve. 2 ye olds often have difficulty with speech, even when they do talk. Encourage him into “using his words”, talk to him a lot, let him have his picture and her blanket, these are keeping them connected. Perhaps try some baby sign language for now. He sounds like he’s still trying to communicate even if it isn’t through speech. If it continues and you get really worried, take him to his doctor. Perhaps a counselor would be needed at that point.
It sounds like he is finding his own way. By sharing his playtime and talking to her picture (even if you don’t understand what he is saying, he does). You are doing a fine job. Just play with him, color with him, offer answers to his questions when he asks. Follow his lead. Don’t give more information than he is asking for. As his grieving goes on and he starts to figure things out he will ask for more information. God Bless his little heart and I am sorry for your loss.
Ya know my 9 year old lost her grandpa when she just turned 6 years old and he was her best friend thats a fact! When the day of his funeral came she went outside to look for something her dad asked" piper who u lookin for?" She said peepaw thats the name she picked for him. Jason heart just about sank when he told her that he is with her in her heart. I got a t-shirt from her grandma that he wore all the time and i put the shirt on the pillow so piper knows and sees the shirt. To this day she is doin alot better but she does ask and she knows where he is. There is no time frame for grief its on their time. Over time it does get better so just let him do his own process he will in time know his grandma is in a better place and he can go see her grave.
When my son was 4 my dad died. A counselor told me to let him pick out a stuffed animal that he thought his papa would get him. He is now 19 and still has the stuffed dog he picked out.
Poor baby. Lots of hugs and tell him that he can talk to her anytime and she hears him.
Kids do grieve,talk with him about what he feels,give him a picture of her to carry
My son took my dad’s blanket and his pajamas and slept with them every night. Eventually he accepted that Grandpa was in heaven! It was the sweetest thing!!!
Also to let them know that they will see them in Heaven someday…and that the loved one wants them to be happy.
Loved his Gramma:heart:
I’d really recommend looking into speech therapy
What I did with my son after my dad passed away when my son was 3 was let him look up at the sky at night and say goodnight to him. It worked my son is 10 now and he still misses papa. But frame the picture so it dont get messed up and let ur son play over by it and let him talk to it when ever he wants
To help with grieving I make free memorial art for anyone who has lost a loved one . I believe it helps with the grieving process in someway. <3
Everyone grieves differently…since hes 2 and barely talking…sit wirh him everyday and talk about her to him…explain to him in simple terms that she was sick and needed to.go to jesus to get better…show pictures…talk talk talk…remind him of the good.memories and that he can still talk to her…she will hear him…hes got a guardian angel now…children see death as a bad thing( it is to loved ones) maybe he thinks of hes not good…it will be some.sort of punishment…i went through this with my son…he was 3 when my dad died…he lived with us…we.talked constantly.
Never made it an " omen" to speak of.him…you have to be honest with him( kindly)
Hes 2…but he knows someones not there that he loved…explain that shes free from pain…she will watch over him and she will always be in his heart
We lost my little brother when my kids were 2 & 4. I told them the truth about everything, they each have a special picture of him… I took them to councilling after. We still talk about him and there’s photos of him throughout our home. Kids don’t know how to process loss, they just act out. The best thing I did was take them to talk to someone! It’s been 10 long years but they still tell me their memories of him and ask about him often. We set fireworks off for his bday (he loved fireworks!) we have a cake, sing happy bday. There’s always an empty seat at family dinners for him
I know your child is just so little but My oldest lost her grandma on her dads side from Covid and these two are best friends. I went to making/sending a picture blanket to my daughter saying it was from grandma cause she wasn’t able to say goodbye. It in my opinion has helped with grieving and she’s always with her now.
So my daughter lost her best friend “paw-paw” unexpectedly (heart attack) when she was 3.5 years old. It was ROUGH on all of us (still is) but especially her. He passed away at 41 this past October, so it’s still pretty fresh for all of us. Anyway, my daughter will cry when she thinks about him or if he gets brought up, but she believes he is watching over her and that one day we will see him again in heaven. We have a picture of them together in a frame in her room and sometimes I will hear her talking to him.
My advice is to just let him grieve as he needs to for as long as he needs to. Reassure him that she is ok now and that she watches over him and if he ever wants to talk to her, he can, she will hear him. Death is hard. All we can do as parents to help our babies cope is to assure them that they are loved and that we are here for them.
Take him out when stars come out. Tell him to pick the brightest star and tell him it’s his great grandma. Tell him she’s watching over him and is in his heart always. Any time he misses her tell him to look for her star. Also tell him feel his heart beat. Shes right there in his heart and he can feel her there.
When we lost my husband 3 years ago it broke my granddaughters heart. They were extremely close. Although they quiet don’t understand about heaven and death yet. We made her a papa book filled with all pictures of him and her. So she can look at it always and she remembers things about him as we remind her. It helped her so much and now she alittle more understanding that her papa is in heaven now and she will see him again someday… Hope this helps… Prayers to you and your son…
Take the picture and scan it into your computer so you can always print off a new one. My daughter lost her baby brother when she was almost 2, we put on lipstick kissed a balloon and sent the kisses to her brother in heaven on the balloon.
Make him a scrap book aka memory book. Put any photos you have of them together or of her by herself . Let him help and try and make it fun considering the circumstances. He probably doesn’t know what grief is yet but he just knows she’s gone and hasn’t been back. Let him decorate the memory book. My son lost his grandma (my mom) 4 yrs ago. He had just turned 7. They were best friends and we lived with her. She would keep him when I worked and seriously they had the biggest bond ever. He was always sitting next to her in her big chair. She had a lot of health problems and he made her days better. He had the worst time ever after she died. 4 yrs later he is just now able to really talk about her without shutting down. We did a picture book and he will have all his memories to go back on. Good luck