I need help! My little girl is five months, and she only wants to be with me. When she was born, my husband had to leave for three months for work. He was still able to see her one weekend a month. He tries to bond with her, and she good for a little bit, but after an hour or so, she just cries because she wants me. I feel so bad for my husband because he wants to be able to rock her to sleep or even be able to feed her. I messed up on not giving her a bottle. Now she won’t grab one or a pacifier. It’s to the point where she needs my nipple to soothe herself. I love my baby girl, but I do sometimes want some me-time what can I do to help her learn to soothe without my nipple? And get her to bond more with her dad? TIA
6 Likes
You gotta get out of the house more. She’ll warm up to him. It only takes time. I started to work and my first was hooked on to me…
The more time they spend together the sooner they’ll be buddies
1 Like
He has to keep doing what he’s doing
Only time together will help bond. A bath always helps my lo as she loves the water. Daddy and daughter swim classes.
Leave them to it for a bit
Hugs. Maybe start by putting even one ounce into a bottle and work through it yourself until she takes it. If she knows she’ll still get the boob after she may be ok. Hugs. Tummy time is good have her lay on his chest or play bounce on daddy. Something you don’t do that she will be attracted to. Hugs. It’ll be ok
Thats cuz shes comfortable with you…your her security…when hes home let him. Have her all the time and you walk away…yes its hard but if you want her to bond you gotta allow it
Pump some and leave so she has to take bottle. It will be hard but she will bond with dad and learn to trust dad. Make it a short run may to a neighbors . It will be easier if she can’t see or smell you .
1 Like
It’s probably less that after an hour she wants you and more she’s hungry and you’re her food source. Try doing things as a family. Snuggle with your husband and feed the baby
you need to leave the house or let him figure it out and let him figure it out. the crying is always worse on us but crying is ok
Just keep trying little by little. She’ll warm up.
Best option that worked for my friend was going out even if it’s for an HR and a half 2 hrs once a day without her around her kid had no choice but to learn to trust and bond with the father and once that gets easier extent the time that your out or if you can’t go out find a spot in your home and stay there put some head phones on listen to music or watch tv read with noise going so you can’t hear her upset but it does sometimes make it easier on the other parent to not give in to letting the main parent take back over if they aren’t around
You can wear one of his shirts so it has your scent on it when he wears it, and yes to leaving the house when he has her.
Dont feel bad or that you messed up! Baby will come around to dad, same happened with me except dad was always home! Its natural that baby wants u! My baby came alot more dependent when she started crawling around 6 months, before that she was glued to me! And she warmed up to other people in the house soon after. It just takes time, and my one year old refuses a bottle since she was little, i still breastfeed. Thats a challenge u will have to face later down the road but you have done nothing wrong! Snd i feel like my baby was able to make a bond with people when they held her when she cried, not just came to me when she was crying. Have dad comfort her when she cries! Good luck!
1 Like
It takes time. My 2 year old’s dad is a stay at home dad, and she clings to me for some reason still. I know it really hurts his feelings, because he used to rock her to sleep and rub on her arm for hours at a time until she went to sleep, but it could just be a phase. Your child clings to you because she sees you at the constant and knows you’ll always be there versus dad who was only home one weekend out the month
She’s so little, it’ll definitely get better. Just keep introducing the bottle and he’ll be able to feed her. It’ll take time. She definitely will use you for comfort as well as food. He could also try skin to skin. Good luck mama.
My husband used to take the 2am-ish feeding so he could get that experience too. I’d pump before bed and he’d use that milk. Trying a bottle until it works might help. I had to have other people offer it when I wasn’t around at all. I had to have surgery when mine was 3 months and it took a few days of trying but he eventually took it.
Don’t give up. They will find their special groove and it’ll work out. I love that you’re trying so hard to help them bond. Good luck!
My youngest is almost 12. The first 2 years of her life she didn’t want anything to do with her daddy. It was all about mommy. Now! Hahah I’m a blimp on the radar. She is such a daddy’s girl. Give it time and lots of patience.
It’s the opposite for me I’m always the one feeling “left” out…after I gave birth I was sooooo sick I couldn’t even hold my baby his dad had to take care of him rock him to sleep feed him etc etc my boy is now 9 and they have the strongest bond…so maybe there’s something to starting it right away🤷🏻♀️
1 Like
When my son was a baby more times than not he wanted his dad and nothing to do with me. I felt like I was failing because I literally carried him for 10 months and birthed him and I wasn’t his comfort place. He just turned 3 a few days ago and it took about a year honestly for him to want me more than daddy. And I was a stay at home mom for a year and half! As she grows and learns she will grow out of it!!
Sometimes it’s better to let them learn to self soothe, even if that means letting them cry with you there to comfort them without doing what they are used to
1 Like
Have dad take off his shirt… drap a shirt you have worn at least a couple of hours around his neck … after you have fed her let dad burp and rock her to sleep… in about a week she will get used to the feel of his body and touch while haveing the comfort of mamas odor to her… she will adapt fairly quickly and he will learn how firm or gentle she likes burped or how fast to rock!! Dont give up … consistancy is the key…eventually ad the bottle with mothers milk
5 Likes
Skin to skin and try cuddling all together. Til the baby gets used to the father.
Leave a bottle and leave the house. Is dad back home now? Leave them in the same room, and walk away. She’ll learn. She’s also at the age when babies start to learn/understand object permanence, which causes almost all babies to become a bit clingier to their primary caregiver (an hour with anyone else is actually a great start). If it’s any consolation-I raised 3 “Velcro babies” who literally ONLY wanted me for the first two years of their lives, now they all have amazing relationships with their daddy, and I’m about to go through the Velcro stage all over again as I’m due with baby #4 in 8 weeks. This season will pass, and your little lady will develop a relationship with her daddy in time
It gets better. My daughter is 10 months and it’s been about 2days since she just wants her dad.
Good luck my babies are 7 and 2 and still only want me 
If I want “me-time” I have to leave the house.
It’s normal for her to want momma
my son took about a year to not have to be stuck to me like glue
Takes time, don’t force it, my son is 3 in February and only really just started wanting dad more
Have you tryed the closer to nature bottles and dummy they shaped like a nipple maybe give that a go, and its very hard for your husband but she is young enough and once takes bottle she will be fine I say she wants the milk from mommy that’s why she crying for daddy good luck x
Try letting him rock her to sleep with you laying right next to them thats how I got my son comfortable with his dad doing it let him feed her with you standing there encouraging her and telling her good job when she let’s daddy feed her and simply just don’t give her the nipple give her a bottle put your milk in thatcif she’s hungry she will eat she will get the point . You need to be consistent. And be present when your husband does these things don’t give the child a panic attack and walk out of the room like everyone else says, you can’t give in you need to let your husband do these things no matter how much she crys stay present tell her good job when she let’s him take care of her it will be ok . good luck .
Baby’s will adapt over time your daughter will be clingy as your her roll model from day 1 things will progress over time just be patient it will workout
2 Likes
Shes only 5 months just breath and not worry. You didnt make a mistake if you chose to breast feed nothing wrong with that
My youngest was like that too. It had to be me only the first few months. She now ditches me for him most times lol she’ll be three in a few weeks.
You did not “mess up” by not giving her a bottle. Given your circumstances if you bottle fed her she’s only take it from you anyway. Feeding isn’t just about nourishment. It’s about feeling safe. She heard your heartbeat, felt your arms. You are what soothes her. You shouldn’t feel guilty over that. A lot of the time infants prefer mom & toddlers prefer dad. She’s used to you. You have been her constant since well before birth. You take care of her needs. Later she will seek him out for adventure. Give it time. He can change her diaper, sing, talk, read & play with her. Put something of his scent near her. Bonding isn’t something you force. It’s something that happens.
3 Likes
Ahhhhhh… Tina…that’s all feeding is about smfh
1 Like
My kids were like that and their dads were around every day.She came out of you and you are her food source. There is no need for anyone one else in the world but you. Just have him love and comfort her too. Once you have feed her he can take care of anything else. She may cry but as mothers we stay with them while they cry and figure out what’s bothering them and now its his turn. That bond is something thats built … You can try holding her and him cuddling you both and playing with her with you right there so she can get used to him and know he’s a safe place too.
Give it time. My daughter didn’t want anything to do with her father and now she’s two, huge Daddy’s girl. They need alone time without Mom around.
Im having the same problem and my baby girl is 1 year already… Dad also works away and when he gets home she acts all strange and runs away from him ect and then right before he gas to leave again she decides that she want dadda… Me and hubby make a point of it to video call as often as we can so the kids can “see” him…