My daughter is seven years old. Her biological father “didn’t want her growing up in a split home” when she was born. Fast forward to age 2; he messaged via Facebook to say he was sorry. That lasted about three days, and he went on with his life. At age 4, we crossed paths again, and they met. At that point, he was around for about seven months, hit the road, came back for 2, left again, and so on. I cut off all ties because it was damaging. She has recently expressed her thoughts and concerns about him forgetting her. It’s been three years since she has seen or spoke to him. Any ideas on how to help her cope without saying what I want to say?
21 Likes
sometimes daddy’s arent ment to be daddy’s… I don’t even know what to say.
5 Likes
I don’t have any tips and I’m very sorry but I am going through that with my seven-year-old child as well and no matter what he always asks to see his father. I would love to be able to pick up the phone and call him or to drop him off to see his dad but unfortunately his father just doesn’t want that he does not want to be a dad. He comes around as often as your ex that’s absolutely damaging. It breaks my heart but he treats my kid like an Expendable piece of garbage and I wish I had an answer for you as well as for my son. My heart aches for you as well as your baby girl happy New Year from one Mama to another:heartpulse:
1 Like
After the third time is the charm I would go ghost. He can’t show up if he doesn’t know where you are.
3 Likes
Celebrate life with her…no looking back life is abt giving cherish it b 4 she gets grown and mature
4 Likes
Yeah that’s hard. I wouldn’t lie to her but obviously say it in a way it will make sense to her. “He wasn’t ready to be a dad” 
6 Likes
Some times people make decisions that we don’t understand. Sometimes it’s hard but you will always be there for her . Tell her that .
4 Likes
Get her into counseling.
1 Like
I wouldn’t allow the revolving door, it causes more harm then good. And honestly I’d tell her you don’t know and maybe right now he can’t be the dad she needs him to be and he’s working on himself, that’s what I told my step son when his mother walked away completely and he tried to see her… he’s only 7 and she was involved granted it was only 2 days a week if that and she dwindled out slowly but even when she was involved he would ask why she didn’t love him broke my heart but I suggest to make it very frank and don’t be negative and mean eventually they will see it for themselves …
6 Likes
I had to do the same several times with my now almost 18 year old. I loved her more than he ever could. He made another child. I left it up to her to make her decision about him and that was for the best. She knows how she feels about him and what she wants from him. It’s rough to watch because they are our kids, but these fathers can’t grow up.
2 Likes
Man. You let her know that YOU love her more than enough and you cant control what anyone else says or does. Sometimes other people hurt us by what they DO or DON’T do, but that youre always there for her to talk to, cry to, whatever.
2 Likes
My dad was like this…my whole life. It didnt really matter what my mom said. I thought he did no wrong…but in time, as I got older I understood why mom would send him away. It took a long time but I had to learn it for myself and she will too.
Just let her know it wasnt her fault and that she is valuable. His loss. Whatever it takes.
14 Likes
I’d recommend counseling. I’d be honest with her, but in a pleasant way, if that makes sense? Let her know that some people have trouble showing others love, like she’s experienced from you and other family members, etc., and he might be one of them. That it’s important she know it has nothing to do with her and you hope maybe one day he’ll get himself all fixed up so he too can see how special it feels to spend time with her. But, for now you guys will think good things about him and wish for him to find happiness. She will thank you for not saying the things you want.
5 Likes
My oldest had this issue with hers in and out her whole life. I never stopped it bc I thought surely it wasn’t right to keep him from her. At 17 she chose to end it on her terms and not allow him back in after disappearing again…until 3 years ago when she had my grandson. Against my begging she gave him a shot at being a grandfather. He couldn’t care less after about 1.5 months or so. Now that he’s older he can’t even keep the charade going very long anymore. Thank god she told him that was his one and only chance to be a part of her sons life until he is old enough to make that choice himself.
I honestly think that no matter what you do she will always have issues with it bc in and out is more damaging than just out imo
My daughter’s dad is around fourtantely but there was a time he was in prison and on drugs. I told her daddy was sick and he needed to get better
My father was never in my life. He tried, but couldn’t be the father my brother and I deserved. Has it been hard? Yes, but someone once told me “He was meant to create you and that’s it. He was never meant to be in your life.” And that helped me move on. I made sure to find a “real” man for my future kids and now I am happily married with a one year old son and a daughter on the way. My best advice is to tell her the truth. It will hurt and believe me it hurt me as well. But you DO NOT need to lie to her! That’s the last thing this little girl needs right now. Just be with her and give her all of the attention you can. If push comes to shove, maybe counseling? We couldn’t afford it, but just talking to my mom about it when I was younger really helped. Just listen to her. Good luck mama!
5 Likes
I told my son the truth when he learned that my ex partner wasn’t actually his bio as he was raised to think… He was 8 when we split up and I told him that the man he knew as dad wasn’t his real dad… he asked about his bio dad and I told him that when I fell pregnant he decided he didn’t want to be a dad and chose to walk away… He is now almost 11 and is completely fine… I made it black and white so he could see that I wasn’t upset about it and he didn’t need to be either… I explained about the people that ARE in his life, and that is so much better… I’m marrying my now partner in October and we have a baby on the way, which will make 3 kids for me and 1 for my partner, my youngest calls my partner dad aswell as seeing his bio dad… He’s lucky to have 2 dads that love him… My son can see that families come in all shapes and sizes and is fine with how it’s been explained
1 Like
That void will never be filled even if she gets a stepdad. There is not much you can do except for be real with her. Tell her the truth, be sincere about it. In the long run she might find him again as an adult. All you can do is be there for her and explain everything plainly to her!
I grew up in the opposite situation where my mom was in and out for 3+ years at a time would come for a weekend and be gone for another few years I didn’t see her from age 11-18. Up until I was 21 with babies of my own it went that way, now she comes once a year and we leave it at that.
But my dad will always be the one getting a phone call on Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. 
My dad made it be known he would always be whatever I needed from him. A mom, dad, friend, someone to cry to, etc.
Just be there for her. Some people weren’t made to be parents. It’s hard at a young age but when she’s older she’ll appreciate you stepping in to both sides of parenting and supporting and loving her through everything.
7 Likes
Therapy. She needs a place and a person to talk to that doesn’t have any feelings about this situation. No dog in the fight, so to speak.
I went through pretty much the same thing with my 17 year old daughter he bounced in-and-out her whole entire life and had the most lame excuses as a matter of fact last week he came to Texas from Georgia to see family and didn’t see her but he told her that his grandpa was dying so we had a spent all his time with him the thing that breaks my heart though if she blames herself or believes his lame excuses they’re not reasons their excuses If I could go back and change things I wouldn’t have let him bounce in-and-out of her life it hurt her worse than him being out of her life or in it
2 Likes
I never ever burned the bridge. I left the doors wide open. And told my baby girl, I’m sorry, he just makes bad choices. Then she learned to let him go. You cant pussy foot around. Blocking him from her no matter how damaging causes you to be the bad guy. Or will when shes older. Let that gate stay swinging. Then when shes ready she will let him go. And its so much better for her to understand that she is the greatest. And its his loss.
4 Likes
I have a now 14 yr old who went through this counseling is very much recommended
I raised 2 daughters with out their biological father’s around. I never bad mouthed the dads and they are amazing girls. It’s rough but not impossible 
Nope unless you want to damage her further…let it lay as it is…if he comes back talk with him to let him know its hurting her…stay in or go totally…
1 Like
Yes counselors will help …ASAP
2 Likes
Therapy not Facebook
3 Likes
I went through this. It affects me now. I would advise telling her how much YOU love her. It’s not that he’s forgotten her but he ISN’T able to be the father she deserves. Do not bash him or over share but be honest. Many people do t have Father’s it’s not THEIR fault and that is what she needs to know. Her being young seeing a school counselor wouldn’t hurt if you can’t afford it therapy wouldn’t hurt. sometimes kids need to hear it from someone other than Mom but the best thing you can do is just stressed that it’s not her fault you love her and she’s your world
7 Likes
My son is 7 and has asked questions about his dad the last year, he hasn’t seen him since he was 5 months old so has no memories, I just tell him that some parents are not good at being parents and decide to not be in their child’s lives, but I assure him I’m not going anywhere and he has a lot of people who love him … he accepts this
Cassie King guess for future reference
1 Like
Going through pretty much the same thing. She’s 8 and I just answer her question as age appropriate that I can and never speak bad about him. Its something I never experienced so I’m just being as supportive and honest as I can be
my two children do not know there biological sperm donor that’s all he is in tell them I am their mum and dad they say no mum i say yes babies as sometimes families have one mum or one dad or even two mums or two dad’s or even their nanny and puppy’s are looking after their grandchildren they are 6 an 7
You made a mistake cutting ties. THAT is damaging.
5 Likes
My grand daughter’s who I have custody of mother and father do this to her and she is 10 and I say nothing to her about it they come the come you see them you don’t and she accepts it as that’s her parents …don’t put what you think or your issues about it in her head and she won’t have a problem we are taught to take each person as they are so do the same for her with her dad
2 Likes
My dad could’ve cared less about us so I understand where your daughter is coming from and my heart goes out to her. I would just let her know that you’re there if she needs to talk or if she wants to speak to someone else then that’s an option too.
1 Like
You can think ‘cutting ties’ will help, but it does more damage than good.
When he sees her,he sees her. When he doesn’t, it will hurt. It will also be solely on him. You will be there for her to work through it.
It’s no way perfect, but its better ( a lot better) than not knowing her dad. For any kid. Not knowing a parent ( or parents) is hell for a kid
1 Like
Just be honest with her and get her help.
Explain that not everyone knows how to be a good parent, its not that her daddy doesnt love her and maybe he wants to be a good day to her but he just doesnt know how to be, let her know she can asl questions whenever she wants and you will answer them honestly.
Maybe seek some councelling for her too, so she can learn to properly deal with her feelings x
1 Like
I was the child in this scenario.
I wish my mum had cut all contact. But I also understand why she continued to allow him back in my life. If she hadn’t, I’d resent her for it.
Honestly, it took a LONG time to understand that it wasn’t ME with the issues. When I had my 1st born I realised how unnatural it is to walk away from your own child. All you can do is reassure her that shes amazing and loved and it’s not her fault. Maybe telling her age appropriately that hes not a daddy, he’s a father. And when she’s a big girl you can help her find him if thats what she’s wants but for now, he can’t be a daddy but it’s ok because you know how to be a mummy and a daddy and she has (uncles grandpas step dad etc) if she wants a male role model?
2 Likes
My daughter is 7. Similar situation. Counseling helps a lot and letting her know it’s ok to talk about it and it’s ok to feel emotions and we just need to deal with them as they arise. I cant stress counseling enough though.
1 Like
Dont tell him anything about her at all. Dont tell her anything about him. Simply speak with her about how she is well loved beyond measure. Love her and try to find a responsible man in your family to spend time with her.
Keep him away from her is the only way. Just explain people make stupid decisions in their lives and unfortunately make ithers suffer from it. My girls dad hasnt seen them in 6 years. The questions slowly start becoming less and less. When she’s a bit older she’ll realize for herself
3 Likes
There are always consequences for every choice that we make in life; you can either forgive him or not; but you child needs to know and understand later why her father left.
Nicely tell her some people aren’t easy to be around,and some people don’t want to be around others.But that’s on the other person.Not her.
That he cares about her but not ready to be a daddy yet. IF he comes around again tell him in or out of her life PERIOD! Or if you know where he he is write him and tell him. It is to hard on her. Please tell her she did not do anything wrong!!
My son and daughter haven’t seen there dad since we split which was about 10 years ago he was in there lives for the first 5 & 3 years and then just gone no contact Birthday or Xmas cards , nothing I just let them know that they can talk about him if they want they don’t have to keep things to themselves and just try and answer any questions they might have and just make sure that all she needs is u and your there for her my kids are now nearly 16 and 13 and they don’t even bother about him anymore
Let it be on HIM. Don’t give her a reason to despise you or blame you. Personally, I agree that it would be better to not have the in and out every few years. But it wouldn’t be better for her to feel like she was hurt from both parents. Be honest with her. Nobody ever knows what to say in this situation until it happens. Maybe give her the option to reach out to him to see if he will contact her back.
I have a father like this.
He will not change. I’m almost 40, mine is the exact same.
It’s a fine line. Talking negatively about him is a no no. BUT, he really is a POS and it is entirely him, not her.
Always love her. Always remind her she is loveable. I would suggest a counselor for the long term. That was never done for me, and as stages of life happen, his absence will be felt.
They your best not to miss anything. Recruit friends and family who will go to her events and cheer for her so she doesn’t feel his absence as hard.
ALWAYS REMIND HER SHE IS LOVEABLE. I’m going to emphasize this because I has that voice in my head for decades…“if my father doesn’t love me, no one will.”
1 Like
My son is 10 in just over a wk, and his father never wanted anything to do with him. He’s daddy of the year to his other kids. Best advice I can give you is never bad mouth him to her, be honest and if she asks you a question, answer it the best you can without going into too much info (if that makes sense)
For years when my son asked me were his dad was id tell him he had another family and that mammy and daddy decided id raise him and that when he was older and ready he can meet his dad. He never really asked questions. Every so often I’d tell him funny stories about growing up with his dad and when we use to be out. He’s nearly 10 and unfortunately he’s decided he doesn’t want to know his dad (I’m sure that might change) but at this moment he says he hates his dad (I always tell him he doesn’t know his dad to hate him)
Naturally I’d love to tell him the truth but my son will see that himself eventually. We have a fantastic relationship and I do think that’s down to being just the two of us.
Keep your head up and continue being the best mammy you can be x
1 Like
I think the best way is to work with a counselor. It will be healthy for you and your daughter to see someone together and they may even help getting you the right words when questions about dad come up. Otherwise if you just keep it hush hush, she may become resentful in the future for you not telling her anything about her father.
Great reply to that post, very mature very honest, sure to be a great help to the original poster.
Brandi has good advice. This type of behavior really hurts a kid. They think they are not good enuf. For whatever reason a kid has to go thru it, it has nothing to do with him or her but until they get older, it’s hard and a big loss. Be her rock, don’t make excuses, he is who he is, nobody,s fault. Show her how strong you are.
2 Likes
You need to cut that tie for her sake. When she gets older if she wants she can be involved with him but for now you just talk to her with the truth. That her father is in a place now that is nos stable and that he will always be her dad but she needs to learn how to live without him. She will eventually learn and will stop asking about him
Tell her he wiil see her when he wants to. Dont take the blame for a fartt u cant make him see her so just say dad will see u when. He wants sorry been there
Just reassure her that she did nothing wrong and that no matter what she is loved. Best thing you can do for now.
1 Like
my Dad wasnt around… i grew up and honestly im closer now with him than my mom… get her in counseling and i can understand why youre stopping it… but you should at least allow the occasional letter/phone call (on speaker so you can monitor) or you may end up being seen as the bad guy even when she finds out why… dont want to sound mean or anything just speaking from experience…
Don’t make a big deal about it. Move on and answer questions as she asks with age appropriate answers and don’t bad mouth him. Kids are smart and figure things out on their own.
Just tell her the truth that he doesn’t want to be there for her. She did nothing wrong. He just doesn’t want to be there. He had other plans with his life which he realized after she was born
Tell her that man was really just a friend and unfortunately she didn’t get to meet her daddy However daddy won’t be around ever because he went on a very long trip and can’t come back because he went to heaven…
1 Like
Try to see if talking to a professional about it will help. My son sees a therapist because of the effect his dad has on him and it honestly helps him. I never get in the middle and just support my son as his mother but never talk bad about his dad or take away the time they could be together because I know it’s not often.
1 Like
When a child grows a connection with their other parents no matter how long it may take and that parent leaves suddenly; it can be traumatic. Lots of children tend to grow attachment issues and depression caused from that exact experience which in fact NO child should actually go through. This crap happens so often it’s ridiculous. If that father is going to show up and leave he needs to make up his damn mind weather he’s going to truly stay or he’s going to stay gone because doing that to a child is so damn damaging (from experience) your daughter will always want to see him and wish he was actually there for her. Try taking her to counselling sessions if you think it’ll help her especially in the long run. She’ll learn that not all parents will truly be there which is saddening but for all sakes I hope she’ll be just fine.
My daughter is 14. Her dad did this. But it’s been about 5yrs or more since he spoke to her. I always told her the truth. Good or bad. Its heartbreaking when u cant take the pain away for them. I have a boyfriend she calls dad. Hes been there since she was 10. But I know it’s not the same. Now she literally hates her bio dad. She said if he doesnt love her then she dont have to love him. Shes my everything. We talk about it. I answer the questions I can honestly. Just reasure her that no matter what she always has you and dad is a nonfactor. She dont need him. It just takes time and love and the older she gets the more she will understand and form her own opinion of him. Good luck mama
1 Like
Sometimes part of being a mom is letting them see it for what it really is and making the decision for themselves. If she wants to meet him and spend time with him then let her. Its her life to live not yours. My children have had to learn the realities of their other parents as well. Its their choice whether they want to continue to have the part time Donors in their life. As long as there are no drugs, abuse or neglect then maybe she needs to decide for herself
1 Like
I would say " I’m sure he hasn’t forgotten you, because he loves you so much! He just can’t be a positive thing in your life right now and he only wants positive ( or whatever word) things in your life. He’s not well but loves you very much!"
2 Likes
My son has never known his bio dad. I have told him the story and he knows that bio decided not to be in his life. I always told him if/when he wanted to find him that I would help him. He has never shown any interest. My husband adopted him.
I know the story is a little different but the difficulty is the same. I would be as honest as you can. Don’t shy away from it. Let her know that you are sorry and that you can’t control what he does. You can also tell her that one day when she is older she will have the chance to talk to him herself if she wants to. You could tell her that there are a lot of people who don’t take very good care of their children and that it is very sad. You can also tell her that right now you think it’s best if he doesn’t come and go(or some better 7 year old version). You don’t want her to be hurt further. And ultimately you are her Mom. You may not always make the right choices but the choices you make you are making for her.
It’s an impossible situation. One that has a thousand land mines in it. Either choice could affect her in ways you have no way of knowing.
It could be that she sees her friends that have dads and that’s what has her thinking about it. It’s hard for kids to see what they don’t have. I still think honesty is the very best thing you can do for her. Cry with her if you have to. It hurts Mommas just as much as it hurts the kids.
2 Likes
Unfortunately you won’t change his pattern, i have three older children whos biological fathers have never wanted anything to do with them, it’s very hurtful degrading and downright painful for you to watch, you snuggle her right in and explain that’s his choice, and that your choice is to be right at her side every day and that you too don’t understand his actions… it’ll tear you up over the years but be strong momma she will draw strength from you
No matter what do not say anything negative about him to her let her make her own opinions on him. I recommend a therapist, that could help her alot. Do whats best for your baby girl
Yes take her to a talk to someone ! For I am a product of this exact thing and even as an adult now I know the true about my sperm donor ( his in my sister’s life not mine we have the same mom and same dad and my parents are still married they had me young) I still wonder why he can love my baby sister and not love me , but I know in the long run I’m better off he does nothing but hurt my sister
I told my daughter that her birth mother did what she thought was best and knew we could take better care of her. It’s hard, this entire time no calls, no reach outs and it’s been 7 years.
Have her start counseling, my daughter sees a counselor weekly and that’s because she does have her bio dad in her life but still has daddy issues
Just remind her of all the people that are in her life and that love her very much and that God removes people that are not good for you. She will adjust it just takes time and dont speak negative just the truth.
1 Like
My ex and I got divorced when our daughter was 10. He cheated on me and did some bad things and had a total personality change. A lady told me to help her grow up healthy don’t say anything negative about her dad to her beciase she would blame herself and she needed to grow up and be mentally healthy. It was hard to not be just honest and say what o wanted to say. The friend recommended therapy and we did that. It really helped but we learned to look at as her dad has a problem and we feel sorry for him and hope he is able to get his life back on track. She is 24 now and they still do not have a real good relationship, he’s still very in dependable but she has come to terms with it. Will keep you in my prayers.
Definitely look into counseling and really don’t say anything negative. Sadly, she will eventually realize and learn who/how he is. But always tell her how important and loved she is by you and others. Be the bigger, better, happy mom and be there for her. Good luck and God Bless.
dont bad mouth but also tell the truth. sugar coating wont make things better or easier. but i think telling the truth is more helpful
1 Like
Same outcome with my girls. They will see for themselves without you saying a word! Just keep doing the good you are…it’s his loss not hers.
Regardless of how you feel about him. Good father. Bad father. In and out father, he is still her father. I was in a similiar situation myself. He was in and out. I never once denied him, but he was the deadbeat, not me. He hardly ever came around. My daughter knew it was his doing and not mine. It was placed on him, not me. And while I had some choice words for what I thought of him. Trust me, there were a lot. I never voiced them, she figured it out on her own. I know it is hard for him popping in and out of her life. That’s on him, not u. Ur daughter obviously thinks about him. You know what is best in ur situation. Just dont have regrets with the decisions u make.
First I would constanly shower her with love,second I would tell her she was a blessing,AS a mother I would restrict the the ties between them and then later when she older let her decide,
Well as a child who grew up hearing that my biological mom was bad and did things against the law, was a drinker who let kids go in the bars and get drunk. And never made a effort to be a good parent. So for my own good she was not in my life. Well as a adult I learned that I had not only been cheated out of knowing half of my family and the women I met was nothing that I grew up believing she was. While I has a good childhood was loved and well taken care of offered the best of a education. I am to this day a half a century later while am no longer angry am still saded by the the things that I was told now some may or may not be true. I love her and I know she loves me and we are very close. Yet my father it’s been almost 30 years since I have heard or seen him not even sure how to get ahold of him
What a switch. So do everyone involved and favet and do not say any negative about any of it to your child it really only hurts the child and your look like the bad one and we grow up we know who’s there for us and who makes mistakes and who be
Take her to a counselor
1 Like
Shanna Bryan-Shaw
Figure you have wisdom on this:heart:
Please take her to a therapist
1 Like
I went through that but whenever my dad was in town my mom gave me the choice of seeing him or not, eventually i learned that it wasnt the best and we both knew she should have just cut him off when i was younger, its hard as a kid but when she grows up gets a little older you can explain why he isnt in her life and if she wants to see him explain what he did before the way he was, sometimes we just have to learn that our fathers never change. I was living with my husband i was 19 got in touch with my dad and his new wife he said the same thing he always said to me. Made the same promises and then later on changed his number lost all contact with me the way he did before. Growing up it never sank in. I had even spent a few days with him at his house. That didn’t change anything. It wasnt the way i thought it would be. He didn’t change. I had to lesrn the hard way, because i didnt learn from the past.
Time to start counseling. My granddaughter was 1 when I got sole custody due to their substance abuse. My son came to visit her at age 11 and she’s 16 now and deals with feelings of abandonment. He told her he put his substance abuse before her and everyone and that he’d be there for her. Dropped out of the picture again. Broken promises and disappointment. It’s hard to see them go through this, very sad. All I can do is love her and guide her.
My daughter now 16 went through the same with her doner…she last saw him a month before her 3rd birthday…as she’s got older she’s asked me questions and I answer as honestly as I can…I e held back on a fair bit as she doesn’t need to know everything (the way he treated me) but I’ve always told her I’ve never stopped him seeing her it was his choice…you haven’t done anything wrong he just wasn’t man enough to be a dad.x
Honesty is the best route to go…I went through this is as a child and I was appreciative that my mom was honest with me so I didnt have a sense of false hope
So it’s not something you explain for him or to make her feel better … it’s a reality that he is not ready to be a father right now and for now you don’t know where he is. When you hear from him you will let her know. Do not assume guilt that is his over not being in her life. He owns his choices and you are her Mom and there everyday and hopefully one day he will find her and explain why he made the choices he did but for now you can only be her Mom and love her and raise her and show her how to be a responsible person. Do not feel guilt or anger about someone else’s choices because you can only control yourself and your choices. Speak in a neutral/positive way about him to her and always tell her you can’t answer why he is not around that’s something he needs to do.
1 Like
This sounds like my life😅 I went through this and learned the hard way.
She is 7 so it’s hard to say what to do but I was given the choice to talk to him or not. I ended up being the only one trying to keep in touch. But maybe you should let her call him? Just so he knows she wants to talk or see him and so you can say you tried. Or if not when she’s older give her the option to pick if she wants to know him or not. It could benefit her or it could disappoint her. Use your best judgment, only you know him and what he’ll do. But regardless now or when she’s older, you should ask her what she wants to do. Giving her the choice and supporting her decision helps so much more and you also won’t be accused for keeping him from her in case that comes up. Good luck!
1 Like
I met my biological father when I was 3 and he didn’t want me to be part of his life either. He was emotionally and mentally damaging to me when I had to see him (court order.) I also questioned why he didn’t want me in his life but I had a supportive family who always reassured me how much I was loved. As I got older and tried to connect with him, it was the same outcome of him. I realized I was wasting my time and he would be the one missing out (if he even cared). I would tell her she has family who loves her and wants to be in her life. I wouldn’t keep letting him choose when he wants to see her. Always build her up and give her all your love. In time she won’t question his absence as much…
2 Likes
Find a child psychologist that will guide you both through this.
I was 9 when I stopped seeing my dad. All you can do is be a support for her, and express to her that it’s his loss not hers. Don’t talk crap around her about him as this is a form of emotional abuse. Your doing a good job mama. Keep it up 
Unfortunately I went thought this growing up and my ex husband is doing the same to our child.
Be honest with her. My daughter is 7 and we have a similar story. I have been honest with her from day one. My daughter has not spoken to that jerk in a year. He cut all ties with her. She doesn’t seem to care.
Well the most important thing is you need to make sure that she knows it’s not her fault there’s nothing wrong with her there’s something wrong with him he’s broken
1 Like