How can I help my husband after his accident?

Hey ladies, I’m just curious about how to help my husband. He was in a car accident, he was ejected from our Escalade, out of the sunroof , flew 140 ft and landed on his head. He’s a true miracle, no doubt about that. He can do everything, just has to get his weight back up. But he does have communication issues and memory issues. He has aphasia, damage to the left temporal lobe and partial damage to frontal lobe. This morning he thought I cheated on him bc he forgot we had sex lol. He replaces words in his sentences with words that don’t exist. Just wondering if there’s anyway I can help him while I’m waiting for our insurance to go through? Just look for advice here, life definitely knows how to take a turn. Thank you all

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I help my husband after his accident?

My hubby had strokes dr told him 2 read all the time so as not to lose any more well not as fast…maybe that wud help

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Maybe let him keep a journal of his day to day habits so that if he forgets anything he can just read back take Plenty of photos and reassurance it will be a tough road.

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My boyfriend lost his memory after an accident last christmas, he was literally like ten second tom in 50 first dates. It took close to a year for him to recover to the point he is now. He didn’t have insurance so recovery was all on us once he was out of the hospital. I had to give him a letter to keep with him reminding him what happened and why he was confused, with his personal information and my contact information. I had him keep a small notebook in his pocket to keep track of what he has done and what he needs to do, but he would still forget to use it. Figure out who it is he’s turning to for clarity when he gets confused (even if it isn’t you) to keep track of the most important stuff. I had a page of notes in my phone titled “i am Kyle’s memory” to keep track of everything I knew he should have been keeping track of in his head and couldn’t. Other than that, the biggest thing you can do is just be patient. He’s probably already frustrated enough when he forgets words or believes something happened differently and you don’t want to add to that, just give him space and time to remember on his own. And he may not remember some things but giving him the time to try to think about can help expand his memory’s capacity. Find a repetitive routine for him whether it’s around the house or involving work. I found my boyfriend a stocking job so it was very routine, he just had to be pointed in the right direction first thing that day.

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A journal is a great idea that way he can look what he did that day will help alot

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Get him to write things down and just show him how much you love him . Good luck for the future

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I’m sorry y’all are going through that. I would join some TBI groups on fb. I’m sure there are a lot of family’s dealing with situations similar to your own. Those groups can be very helpful and supportive.

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Well the greatest thing is you’re honoring your vows! Kudos for that! In all honesty I would think sitting down and teaching him would be best. That’s all therapy is going to do. Work those parts of his brain. I’m sure reassuring him about your fidelity he’ll be ok. The mind is a crazy place sometimes. Good luck💞

Has he been to counselor/therapist?? They can help with cogn therapy. I have brain disabilities, ptsd, front lobe miningiomia. I start my treatment next week so i not sure what it is yet. I was saying/ thinking strange things too. Living through car accident can cause ptsd. Before i could afford my therapist i used an app called dare. There are options/audio for alot of probs from panic/addiction/coping skills for you too. Join support groups on f-book. Is a free way to learn, some of the patients have done this for yrs. I took benadryl before i got on my psych meds. when i felt wound up it helps some. Also i limit sugar in my diet. Sugar flares most med issues

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Honestly, have a lot of patience. Have him do things like reading and word puzzles when he feels up to it to help his vocabulary and so he doesn’t lose more words. See if he can write a journal or notes to help remind himself of things. And honestly, cherish him. Sometimes after things like that people will go thru a depression state and it can be pretty hard on them. Remind him just how lucky you are that he survived and how much you love him. Is he wheel chair bound at all?

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Do the things he likes to do before he had the accident. Ex. My father use to be in construction, so after his stroke, he lost his ability to speak or even remember my mom, myself and his grandson. He was not walking anymore either. But slowly after 2 years, his brain healed slowly and speaking came back. During that time, he started building things like bridges for the pond, a patio for the backyard, storage room, etc. We let him do whatever he wanted as long as he was happy. Fast forward 12 years later, he is talking more, can form his own thoughts, walking, riding bike, still building lol. He did have to learn his alphabet again so reading and writing was not his thing. So we didn’t push it. The physical activity and building on those long term memories helped him best to heal.

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Be patience with him & constantly talk about good memories that you all had along with pictures and have him journal his thoughts

I think a daily journal would be really helpful also get photos out often and go over some of your memories do this regualry also music is a great healer also therapy would be really good for him and they would give you techniques to use at home to help you both along the way professional help is def needed here thay way you can learn how to help him also and hell also be getting helped at the same time

How long ago was this incident? I had/have aphasia from my car accident and it took a while to start to get better. 14 years after I still struggle if I’m tired, emotional etc x

We have a brain injury association where I live and they offer a great deal of free supports. Check if there’s one in your area.

Mine was in a bad wreck flipped the car 7 times, hang out the window. Months in the hospital. Staples all the way around his head, took 6 hours to do itches in his arm. So much. He flat lined.
Back brace and neck brace. Months of physical therapy.

Time, support helps to most. Protein shakes are also really good

140ft…was he on red bull with wings???
As a male that got run over 18months ago i just need my wife to be there for me when i aint doing so well. Its been really hard on the family, stressful and difficult…and a very step learning curve on all involved.

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Join some TBI groups and find a local support group as well. He will need it and so will you. You are going to have to surround yourself with peers going thru the same things and share coping mechanisms.

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A journal. Writen or video (like the movie 50 first dates, Adam Sandler recorded a video and on the night stand every morning there was a note to watch the video. He put on there who he was, some memories and what’s going on) you could add in what this week and today’s plans are & what you recently have done etc

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Go to dollar tree.
There is a section with arts and crafts, near there is a section of teachers class room stuff.

Grab some of the flash cards and get his brain to work. They will most likely do that at physical therapy and such after insurance checks into the accident

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My dad had an aneurysm and he got memory loss also. He wore shirts with a small pocket and he had a small notebook he wrote it. Everyone that was going to be around him knew about the notebook and would remind me “look at your notebook, write in your notebook” he did it for a while and now doesn’t need it. The doctor also suggested playing games/word games or doing crosswords Ect because it was good for the brain.

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Play mind puzzle games with him, do things he used to enjoy prior to the accident. Most importantly be patient with him. Even though it’s hard and frustrating for you it’s 1000% worse on him. Mine was in a motorcycle accident almost 2 years ago, he was hit doing 70 mph on the interstate causing him to flip the bike and he wasn’t wearing a helmet. He still struggles some days with memory issues, some days he’s fine others he can’t remember anything . Just remember to thank the lord he survived and y’all will get through this as well, just another bump in the road of life

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Try researching traumatic brain injury? I believe there’s probably some groups/pages on Facebook dedicated to it.
That’s likely the best place to start, they’ll have more detailed info for you.

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Qwik brain podcast - the fella on there had a traumatic brain injury and now his memory is insane just by making same lifestyle changes

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Patience, maybe look into some memory therapy. See what programs the doctors can recommend.

Just keep being there

If you need ANY financial help I would recommend a go fund me. For him as far as his conditions I would say be really supportive and understanding. Also simple reminders and if possible keeping his daily routine fairly similar for now so he doesn’t get super missed up and confused. I would keep reaching out to whomever you need to for im his insurance to get situated so you can get him further trauma care he made need. For nutrients a daily vitamin, Boost (the drink) has a lot of nutrients, healthy hearty meals, and instead of big meals do more frequent meals. Please remember to take care of yourself to and make sure you are getting support you Need as well while going through this tough time. You sound like a wonderful, caring wife. Best wishes.

:arrow_right:Vibrating mattress!:arrow_left: My daughter went through this when she was a bit older. I thought I was having a mental breakdown from lack of sleep. I went on Amazon one day and found a toddler vibrating mattress. Worked like a charm!! This was years ago, so I don’t know if they still sell them but, there has to be something similar.

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When my dad had dementia we would “read” old photo albums. Looking at pictures of happy times brought a smile to his face, especially when he recognized himself: “That’s me!” He’d say with a big smile. The older the memories the better. See if his buddies will come over with pix, videos and mementos of times spent together.

Bulletin boards, white boards, chalk boards, posters all around. Even if he can’t read, read them to him repeatedly, read them to him often enough so he learns what they say. A fairly rigid routine is probably good for him too to help him feel like there’s some order and control in his life.

Also, learn things by singing (like the Alphabet song), even if he can’t sing along. We tend to remember things better when sung. Maybe kids shows on PBS would work.

Watch the movie “Memento” to see what it might feel like being him.

Maybe labeling stuff around the house with sticky notes and saying what it is while pointing at it might help him Re-learn words.

Bless you both . This is a hard row to hoe for both of you. Sending prayers for full recovery.

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Both of you every night write a journal about the day and all the important things that happen and any future doctor appointments or anything important or fun. You both sign it. If he doesn’t feel good then you do it. It helps to take pictures too. My grandfather did this with my grandma when she got sun downers.

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I’m an SLP and a certified brain injury specialist who works with patients such as your dad. Feel free to message me and we can connect :heart:

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Clean eating
Superfoods
Juicing
Detox!

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Aphasia is not easy to deal with and can greatly impact understanding and speech. With that being said it is hard to communicate with someone with aphasia in many cases as they can forget what words mean, what objects are, how to use words, how to read words…All you can really do is love him as much as you can and try to remember that a brain injury is very hard for both sides to deal with. Try to see what therapies your insurance may cover for him or helpful resources (based on degree of his injury) and just kinda take what he says with a grain of salt as they don’t always understand what they are saying.

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Brain games are good help

There are a lot of therapeutic things for TBI (traumatic brain injury). They have bio-feedback, light lasers, oxygen chambers etc. Go to a TBI specialist (or even go to a FB support group for TBI) Most of the folks will talk about their therapy and what helped. Reg MD will not be very helpful. You need a Specialist.

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You have to build up trust because he will depend on you to tell him the truth. It can help to have a book to write things in, or a phone/tablet. Even the shortest shopping list will need to be written down. You will also need to keep saying things for them to stick and get used to the accusations that you didn’t ask him to do things :joy: Also make sure you are certain you have done things or asked things. E.g. Did you get the meat out for dinner? Did you ask me to? Yes, last night. Are you sure, I don’t remember that? Yes, I definitely did. It can improve with time. On the wrong word thing…his brain might not register anything but the correct word. The best solution is to put what he’s said in your reply with the correct word instead. He might get a bit agitated/cross if you don’t get what the right word should be. I find saying “you’re talking rubbish again” effective but it will depend on your husband. Often long term memory works fine so information just needs to be repeated enough to stick. I’ve seen someone get a degree, masters and doctorate with these issues so don’t give up x

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Sending Prayers :heart: :pray:

I would also look into herbs that can help with healing the brain. Definitely CBD and Also turmeric is an anti inflammatory that could help with any inflammation he has in his brain from the injury.

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Patience. Lots of patience. Get him into occupational, physical and speech therapy ASAP.

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So sorry glad he survived… life is a crazy ride… hang in there and just be patient with him.

Patience is the key for now until ur insurance goes thru like Shanna Roberts-Ortiz said definitely look into cbd cause it does help best of luck to you both

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Have him keep a journal of things he does from day to day.

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I think journaling may help him to remember things he forgets. Looking at old photos and reminiscing may help jog his memories and excerise those parts of his brain. Puzzle games are great for brain excerise as well.

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Find your local brain injury services. Occupational services. For yourself look into support groups for caregivers.

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You’re amazing. Just be patient with him. Lots of reading.

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Pray with him give him encouragement and reassurance every day

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First Research the brain and functions of the frontal and temporal lobe. Make flash cards with words and practice with him…be patient above all things and love him as he is. Sometimes the brain can “rewire” itself to a certain extent. Prayers for his continued recovery.

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Journaling may help. Lost of patience an routines may help with his memory

I would keep reassuring him that you haven’t cheated on him and you would never do that to him

I have frontal lobe damage from a car accident, some days are rough… I prefer written or text important info cuz I might not remember if its verbal… I do word search games or matching games, I still slip up & screw up my words at times… I hope you find away to help him :heart:

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Get him into therapy. Call his doctor and get on order for speech therapy for cognitive and memory issues. The therapist cannot see him without a doctors order…

There is a woman on Instagram who’s hubby suffered a traumatic brain injury and she’s always posting the ways in which she helps him. She does yoga too but I’ll have to look for her name again and I’ll let you know.

You could try those cards with words on them xx

Get him connected with a speech pathologist.

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It takes alot of patience. Over time these things will lessen. My brother had a major head injury and they said he’d never walk or talk again. He’s now back to working and can talk alot better. He still has seizures from time to time.

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Maybe like 50 first dates the movie, you can help his memory by making videos and sharing them with him. I have never been in this situation so I wouldn’t know, but I think it’s a cute idea for him to maybe feel better too. <3

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My husband had brain surgery a few years ago and he has trouble with memory. A journal is definitely something to think about.

Make sure to help yourself too! You both went through something traumatic

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Frankincense oil helped with my brain trauma.

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I have no advice, but you are a great wife. He’s lucky to have you! :slight_smile:

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My dad was also in an accident and has damage to his frontal lobe. He used to accuse my mom of cheating after the accident and didn’t believe her and then continued to do that with every girlfriend he ever had. Got out of hand sometimes. This was 24 years ago. He is still the same way. He has bad memory issues and seems to only remember things in the past before the accident. He has no problems with that. But it’s new memories he can’t remember. He can’t remember if he called me and he’ll call me right back. He looses things and accuses others of stealing the lost items. He also believes whatever he makes up in his head to be true and nothing you say or do can and will change that. I don’t think he is ever going to be able to change if he’s starting with that behavior. It’s just similar to my dads case. But all you can do is have hope! And Don’t feel like you have to stay with someone because of the accident and you feel bad. He may start to progressively treat you worse. You can’t help someone like that. Pleas take no offense to this comment. This is just what has happened in my family with brain damage doesn’t mean it will be your case.

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Poor guy. Maybe therapy, love and lots of patience. Good luck to you both :white_heart:

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Wear a camera. A video journal.

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Brain games, number games, word games, calendars so HE can write things down. A Journal.

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Brain injury support networks can be really helpful. If you are unsure if there is one in your state, check out NDBIN. They may be able to refer you to services in your own area.

Word games, matching games, hidden object games and also lists of what needs to get done etc. Most of all patience is what he needs

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I went through this with my ex husband .the cognitive part was the hardest .rehabilitation helped but it didn’t change much.its very unfortunate that he suffered a head injury like this. I am praying for you that God gives you strength to get through this together.

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Help him by maybe teaching him how to put a seatbelt on for starters.

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So sry for all u guys are going through.

Lots of meditation can help as well . For mental health :heavy_heart_exclamation: all the best x

Well - when my gram started to have memory issues my mom would use sticky notes around the house to reminder of what things were. Maybe something like that could be done in your own way?

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Cathy Horton wow! That was rude af! Did you wake up this morning and decide to be a heartless jerk or are you like this every day? You must be miserable and lonely cause surely noone wants to be around someone who would be so inconsiderate!
I think some people get online and see it as a challenge to who can make the most disrespectful and ignorant comments. :fu::clown_face:

My husband brother had part of his brain removed, and has short term memory loss and he seems to remember stuff better if he writes the answer down everytime he asks something it takes him about a year to remember stuff. Also ive noticed when i talk to him if i say something the exact same way word for word about 5 or 6 times he sometimes starts to remember what i said. He just forgets i say it so he will basically tell me what i told him as his own thought, idk if that makes sense. :thinking: but i would definitely have your husband write down everything he does or needs to do then he just needs to remember his book.
Also sounds dumb but if hes forgetting words lable everything in the house, and maybe use flash cards. Thats kinda what the hospital wanted us to do with my grandpa who has had multiple strokes and has a hard time coming up with the right words. I would also gentle correct the word hes using incorrectly if you can figure out what hes trying to say. I dont mean this as anything negative but if you treat him that same way as a child who is learning things or has trouble learning it will help you keep calm and keep your inner peace. I treat my brother-in-law like i treat my son who has autism and it help me stay calm when hes asks me the same thing or says the same thing for the 5th time in 10mins. Good luck and dont be afraid to ask the hospital for help or ideas.

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Have you tried taking him to a speech therapist yet? If not, I would highly suggest it. I’m sorry you’re going through this :broken_heart::cry:

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Sticky note the shit out of things with little reminders of things that he loves, or has trouble remembering, even notes that just say, “I love you”. Get him a journal or notebook that he can jot down fleeting thoughts in and then go back and read the next day. Reach out to local memory rehabilitation centers and find out what free resources they have to offer, etc.

Start filming things in order to help his memory

Talk with his doctors/therapists on ways you can help his memory at home. Seek brain injury resources (there’s lots of support out there!)

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Help him start a daily journal

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Look into brain health, what is helpful, what is not. Healthy fats etc. Dr Daniel Amen is a brain health specialist… maybe look him up, see what you can learn…

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I wonder if there is a support group in your area for Traumatic and Aquired Brain Injuries? They are very serious and have a lot of variances between people. It may help you both to understand it and cope with it.

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I had a TBI in 2000. I couldn’t function. If I couldn’t remember how to save put a plate in the microwave I would ask someone to put the round disc thing with stuff on it in the little box with numbers that goes whrrrrrrr and makes the stuff hot. Find a neuropsychologist and make an appointment. They gave me the tools to get my life back. Also, Occupational Therapy. It’s a game changer. Video games. for hand eye coordination. And hidden object games to help memory. It took about 19 months, but I recovered to about 95% from before the accident.

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You have a tuff job he’s lucky he has you go luck I took care of my mom

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You need advice from medical professionals. Not Facebook.

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Speech therapy is a must. He needs daily brain excersise to increase knowledge. Like reading or math or doing something productive that is needed with supervision. Brain functions die if they are not used correctly. I have went through this with my son. It takes years to come back to somewhere close to where he was. Probably never completely. But close. Brain also controls bowel and bladder function. Join a TBI group. He needs to be surrounded by positive people that are having same problems. A good neurologist is also a must and primary care physician. Neurologist can prescribe meds for his anxiety which most TBI people have. They get frustrated that they can’t do things like talking and remembering like before. Good luck

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I have MS and multiple TBI, for the most part I’m “normal” but my memory,understanding of words, forming words, etc…is all messed up. The biggest help to me has been notes, alarms, all the time and everywhere. My family and bf has helped by slowing down how they speak, we laugh off the funny words my brain now chooses to use or hear. Get used to repeating yourself and staying calm while doing it. I have trouble regulating my emotions too so medication/workbooks/therapy is super helpful. Daily brain exercises, I personally LOVE word searches, so that or crosswords would be amazing. Be patient with him and remind him to be gentle and patient with himself too​:purple_heart::purple_heart:

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Have him checked for a syringomyelia. This is done with an X-ray or MRI on the spine. U mentioned aphasia and memory complications. If u need more info feel free to DM me. I can walk u through it. I’m sorry as I know u want to help and sometimes there is nothing u can do. Take care.

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Sorry hope he will recover God Bless you both

I don’t have any advice unfortunately. My brother was ejected from a car and ended up in a coma and was dead a couple days later… I would pray. Give thanks. And ask for help and guidance to help him the best you can. He will probably never be the complete same again. Just be so grateful that he is still around for you to love.

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Be patient, look into brain injuries, talk with specialists, love him …

Patience. Patience. Patience. That’s absolutely number one. Do things that exercise the brain. It’s a muscle it can get stronger!

I am sorry that you are in this position and it truly is a Miracle that your husband survived such an horrific accident … can he get rehab to help him with his speech ? And memory loss ? I don’t have any advice just read a few articles on rehab for people with Acquired Brain Injury or people who have strokes . My best friend has an abi but she can’t do rehab for medical reasons it wouldn’t help in her case . Wishing you and your husband the very best of luck and prayers for help with your situation :gem:

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Work with him on words, just keep talking to him and having him talk back to you

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As a nurse for 60 years I can safely tell you that your listening, patience, understanding, and basic TLC will provide him with a significant percentage of what he needs to recover. The rest will come from the therapists. Wishing you well.

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My son suffered a brain injury when he was 5 he is now 22. It can at times be frustrating and difficult to deal with. I find with my son we have to have a routine, we also write everything down and I find the more I repeat something it eventually sticks in his brain. Alot of tlc for him but also yourself is a must also see if there are any tbi groups on fb or in your area that you can join. Feel free to message me anytime x

Wow - it could take months for him to recover from all his injuries. He may never have all of them come back. Patience is all you can pray for at this point.

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Does he have a speech pathologist that is seeing him?

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I would suggest you ask to join some of the brain injury recovery groups that are on Facebook. They are all survivors of various types of brain injury and may have practical suggestions.

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My dad had aphasia and short-term deficits after a stroke 6 years ago. He has almost fully recovered with a lot of therapy and effort on his part. There were days when he’d be so frustrated about his lack of communication skills and inability to concentrate that he’d cry and lash out. He was an avid reader before the stroke, so the aphasia was particularly difficult for him to accept.

Reach out to brain injury/trauma associations and groups because they can offer advice about how to help your husband and also give you and your family moral support. Your husband’s speech therapist will give him exercises to do at home, besides face to face exercises during sessions. These are very important because repetition is key to recovery. In the meantime, check the internet for speech and memory exercises.

Recovery will sometimes be painful and disheartening, but he will get better with perseverance. Just be aware that he may never be 100% the same as before the accident and may undergo a few personality changes. But that’s ok because he’s alive and on the mend. This will be a team effort that will involve all your family and friends.

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Patients understanding and prayer