That’s not ocd that sounds more like paranoid schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. There are other things going on than ocd. I would say that this is one instance where an ultimatum is justified. Either he needs to get help or you need to leave. This sounds like it has been a toxic environment for you for a lot longer than 2 years.
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He needs help, tell him you’re leaving unless he gets it. He’s either a paranoid manic, or he is cheating and acting out in that regard.
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He has intrusive thought ocd clearly. (I have it as well) but this is so so so much more than just ocd. Sounds like paranoia or schizophrenia and a bit of narcissistic behavior.
He needs to get help and you need to enforce it because if you don’t, you wont have a happy life. Either get him help or leave. Thats the reality.
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How can you allow your kids to stay in this environment? If you won’t get out for yourself do it for them before you all wind up dead.
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He needs help and u need to be careful he doesn’t just snap one day and hurt you. That’s not OCD that’s something much more.
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It doesnt sound like schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder, but it seams to be massive feelings of inadequacy mutating beyond insecurity and into paranoia, but there may be some hidden psychosis at play, either way this is WAY out of your wheelhouse, he needs major repairative therapy
Mam, it sounds like your husband has developed schizophrenia. I went through this with my husband who recently passed away. I delt with everything you just described. But it lead to alot more. He got so bad with the delusions to the point he was convinced i was not me. That i was either a clone or another person wearing as he would put it ( Joanns skin) it got so bad that it is was driving me insane.
The best thing I was able to do was love him from afar. I jad to separate from him for a while to get my strength and sanity back. I wish I could offer you advice but I’m sorry I cant. Cause each person has to figure out the best way to handle this for them selves. My heart and prayers are with you. I truly do know how this is making you feel. I felt every heartbreaking pain of this. God and heavy praying is what got me through it.
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Is it OCD or is he being controlling and abusive and using OCD as a cover. Honestly I think you should separate at this point until he’s willing to get mental help. This is damaging to you, your kids, his family, etc. if he doesn’t get help I’d honestly go for supervised visits esp since he’s turning his attention to the 15mo old already. Im sorry this is happening in your family! I also have mental health issues and I know that it can affect my own family when it’s not well controlled.
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No ma’am, it quite literally IS that easy.even easier with kids involved.
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That’s not OCD to make up paranoid delusions about reality, that’s definitely paranoid schizophrenia… they need help or it will only get worse.
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Either he gets help or you leave. You need to put your child and your mentality first. If he’s blaming stuff on his ocd , then he knows he’s having episodes (not during them but after) so he knows he needs the help. Him being sick doesn’t mean you have to live miserably. If my fiancé ever accused our child of not being his, id he gone that night. Especially after 10 years, that’s too disrespectful for me.
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Sounds like he is controlling. You aren’t allowed to have relationships because he doesn’t is not ok. I would think he’s cheating because of his accusations. Leave. Give him the ultimatum. You can’t help someone who doesn’t want the help.
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Ma’am leave he’s not going to be able to understand. You said, he has disabilities, well as far as I can read into this it sounds like he has a mental illness. It’s not OCD sounds like nothing YOU’RE describing. Visit your family doctor. He’s aware of the things he’s doing sounds like, where are the assumptions coming from? Have a family meeting about committing him.
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Oh I would simply tell him, you get help or we are done. It is that easy. He’s being abusive towards you and he knows you will overlook it because of his disability. Don’t overlook it anymore!!! People who have disabilities can get help to control thing’s. He’s using it as an excuse to abuse you emotionally and mentally and you’re crazy if you keep allowing him to it.
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Is he cheating on you? Anytime I have been accused of cheating was when I was being cheated on. It’s a diversion tactic.
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Can’t you have him committed so he can properly get diagnosed .You need to pack up you & those kids go stay with your mom for a damn sanity break how exhausting to deal with that shit everyday don’t live your life like this
Well then time to start thinking about you and the children. If he refuses help then know you can’t help him. Choose the best for you and the kids, because the children have no choice….
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That doesn’t sound like ocd!
It sounds narcissistic!
Emotional abuse for sure!
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He has way more mental issues than ocd. And these delusions can turn dangerous to any of you. He’s already mentally/emotionally destroyed your relationship and your life. And how do you think that’s affecting the kids? You absolutely need to give him the choice of get proper help or it’s over. I would rather live in a tent than deal with that madness.
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He’s either just being abusive or schizo. Either way, you need to leave.
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So hard but please be careful. Better safe than sorry especially when you have 3 children to take care of. Hope he gets help soon x
You need to leave now. Dont walk run away as fast as you can. What he is doing has nothing to do with ocd he is using that for a excuse to treat you like crap. He needs help but if he did get help for his issue I dont think it would help him. He is controling and he is being abuse. Take your kids and run away and move in with ur mom.
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That’s not OCD
That’s parNoid schizophrenia
My ex was EXACTLY the same - down to the t
He got so bad he would hide outside in the bushes to try and find my “secret lover” and even accused me of sleeping with my own dad 
He got so much worse and eventually turned abusive.
Please give him an ultimatum- get help or you’re leaving.
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You’re a better woman than me. I would’ve left a long time ago.
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Just because he has mental health issues does not give him a right to abuse you. This is emotional abuse. Give him two options of getting help to better himself for his family, or leave. I know you said it’s not that simple - but your relationship with him has robbed you of so much. A job, friends, now involving the kids. At some point those kids may be on the receiving end of the abuse if he wants to treat them like they’re babies from affairs.
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Those are literally your choices. Force him to get help or leave. He could be using the OCD as an excuse to be an abusive d**khead or it could be something else. Whatever it is, it sounds like it is getting worse. Talk to your doctor. There are ways of getting him placed as an impatient, especially if he he deemed to be a danger to himself and others. Either way, I wouldn’t put up with that crap, take the kids and leave. Tell him you’ll consider returning if he gets help and sticks with it. Best of luck.
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That’s not OCD. That’s possibly schizophrenia. You need to talk to his Dr about it. It could become physically abusive to you and children. Talk to his mom as well. It can come slowly with our your knowledge.
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Mental health is definitely a mixed bag, but is no excuse for bad behaviour. I would be telling him to gt help or I would leave. I have been where you are, it ended badly and my family has not been the same since.
Sounds to me like he needs some therapy. There is more to it than his OCD to cause those episodes. I know people with BiPolar and some with schizophrenia that act similar.
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I think he is trying to push you away. Maybe he doesn’t know it but he is. Have you tried telling him that angle? Because if he doesn’t get help that is what will happen and he will be alone.
Take care of yourself too 
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He is emotionally abusing you and projecting his insecurities on to you. His insecurities are NOT your problem. That’s HIS shit to deal with. Leave now with your kids before it escalates to physical abuse
Don’t walk RUN . Take your children and get out.
Honey, that isn’t OCD - these episodes of his is caused by something a lot more serious. If he does not get the help he very much needs, he’s just going to get a lot worse; whether you want to see it or not, you and your child is in danger. You need to give him an ultimatum - now. Do NOT wait. Either he gets help or you take the baby and leave.
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Please get out if that situation. It’s not going to get any better. Figure out where you want to go. Quietly start making inquires about jobs, living quarters , child care and whatever else you will need to get moved. Relocate. Not that easy with him? If he finds you have him arrested, file restraining orders , whatever you have to do to be free if him. I think he is using some of his limitations to the fullest to make you absolutely miserable. Just get out if it now, while you still have some sort of life left. You have children who will feel the strain of this terrible living condition. They and you, deserve better!!
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You really have no other choice either he gets help or you go! If his traumatic childhood affected him so badly dont you suspect this will affect your children?
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You cant help those that wont help themselves.
Leave ,run away quick
He needs an ultimatum to either get help or lose his family. It’s not easy babe but you have 3 precious babies to think of and things will only get worse and impact on them in harmful ways for the rest of their lives. You have to stand in your own authority and enforce your boundaries. It is the only way forward. 
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Why is it not an option to leave? His happiness and mental health isn’t more important than yours . You shouldn’t be living this way and raising kids in that environment if he’s not willing to seek help and medication for his disorder. It’s not your job to fix him or be miserable and stay while he refuses to try and fix himself. This isn’t a marital problem it’s a him problem, all his. Make him take responsibility as the first step and stop allowing him to make excuses and telling him that you’ll put up with this any longer.
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This is not a form of OCD this is a man controlling all of your moves.
Be prepared for mixed signals such as I will die without you or off myself if you leave but also that you will never find another person who will love you & your children when they is far from the truth!
This man is a tick time bomb & it’s in your family’s best interest to leave before things get worse or he gets physical if he hasn’t been that way already.
This is not about you being a bad wife/mother.
This is about him telling you that you are & controlling your emotions.
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This is not OCD this sounds almost like paranoid schizophrenia my husband was the same way it will get worse he needs to be committed I almost had to do that with my husband because he was staying to get violent thank the universe that he realized he needed help before it got real bad
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Girl, this is NOT ocd, this is a controlling asshole of a man that is making your life complete and utterly miserable! You def need to give him an ultimatum, either he gets help or you’re taking your children and leaving! And stick to your guns! He is a narcissist and I promise you when you go to leave, it will further prove it. You’re going to hear a lot of, if you leave I will kill myself, you’ll never have anything without me bc the only reason you have anything now is because of me, you’ll never find anyone else that’ll want you or love you the way I do, if he hasn’t already said those things. If you don’t stand up for yourself and your children now, it will only escalate from here! You need to decide whether it is worth working out now, and if not, run far away. If so, sit him down and straight up tell him that you’re gone if he doesn’t get help.
That’s more than Obsessive Compulsive Disorder! (OCD)
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Leave, not only are you putting you self at risk but your kids also. Sounds mental and also a Narcissist. But I have to ask why did you have a new baby by him??? Run , leave, why are you putting your children though this mess. Go get your kids and your self in counseling.
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That’s not all Sadie he sounds like he’s got schizophrenia he needs help however you can’t help somebody who doesn’t want help you need to give him an ultimatum to either get help or you want a divorce
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He needs help … Be careful , he could get violent.
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Only cheaters make up accusations of cheating he sounds like a narcissist and that sounds like the closest thing you’ll ever get to a confession from him I bet he has a second phone
He’s either schizophrenic, bi polar or using meth. It’s sad you can’t see how toxic this environment is for you but ESPECIALLY your children. It is YOUR job to protect them. You cannot fix someone and he’s not willing to change. Get out before CPS gets involved and your children resent you for not protecting them!
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Wow been there done that, it will only get worse plzzz leave……
Leave him it ain’t gonna get better in fact he will turn violent soon. I’ve been through this before.
This is not OCD lol this is much much more and using it to control you. Leaving is an option and it is best for you and your children. You have proof? Then use it all in court and get full custody. Move on and be happy. Your mental health matters too
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He is damaging your children if you are aware of it or not, this behavior is unacceptable and you owe him nothing at this point when he thinks he has done no wrong, please leave if not for your own sake, do it for your children’s mental health. These delusions can become damaging even when they arent always directed at the children
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Lots of people who are abused mentally (like you are being) will find reasons to stay. You cannot help him, not even with your love. What you’re describing sounds like paranoid schizophrenia. He’s deprived you of your life and it can get better with the right help (and he can only get it if he wants it and you’ve already said he refuses). You’ve lived your life pleasing, shaping, molding yourself because you love him. Now you have children. And his mental disorder is going to ruin your child’s life if he doesn’t get help or if you don’t leave. As a mom your instincts should be to protect your child and because he’s refusing help, the next step would be to leave. You can still love him from afar. Raising your children in an environment where it’s toxic is molding your children and they grow up thinking that’s love. And they’ll grow up and this is what they’re going to think is love. Yes, you love him but it’s unhealthy no matter how you turn the tables and try to find reasons. Not only is he mentally disabled but he’s also a narcissistic person. Love yourself and your children more and leave if he doesn’t get help today. Your family will understand. Don’t find anymore reasons to stay because your child’s life is going to be affected in a bad way. Leave for your child if you can’t do it for you. It’ll be ok.
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Either stay and put up with it or leave. He knows exactly how to manipulate you. Proof is in your last statement.
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Definitely more than OCD. I mean tbh, it sounds like schizophrenia or hes just making shit up because he’s guilty himself. I know its easier said than done, but in most cases, ultimatums don’t work so you need to decide if you wanna put yourself and your children through that or leave!
This is not ocd
I use to live next door skitzofrenic (don’t know how to spell it )
She had similar battles too you could hear it
But this also sounds like munchhousins & or full on domestic violence blaming mental health 
You sound resentful
This becomes toxic 2 way street
Cut the co dependence out
Stop verbal emotional violence out
Your kids will grow to accept it
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Narcissism not OCD. Everything you’re describing sounds like a narcissist not someone with OCD. Id draw a line in the sand and make him chose >>get help or u remove yourself and your children from his environment until he does get help or make him leave the household until he does
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He’s abusing you and you can’t fix him.
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This is paranoid schizophrenia and yes it IS THAT EASY to make him get help or leave. You already know the answer you just have to do it
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I would be a little bit afraid because he doesn’t sound too good you need to protect yourself and your children he needs to talk to someone
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No offense but has he been checked for schizophrenia? That sounds like something beyond OCD.
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Definitely sounds more like bipolar disorder…(I have a twin sister that unfortunately suffers with this) but could be mixed with OCD as well. Alot of people lack understanding of what happens during manic episodes but a lot of what you described sounds a lot like multiple episodes.
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Come on this guy is paranoid his mental illness is over the top you do not have a good diagnoses he can be ocd with bipolar with scitsophrenia You don’t have his whole diagnoses he needs a doctor that an give meds get the best if he can’t work because of this there is ssd
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This sounds more like schizophrenia or meth.
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I’ve been with my husband for 45 years who’s bipolar. Even on medication he is not gotten better. And now is an adult foster care because I can’t stay awake 24 hours to care for him. There’s a book out there it’s called this brilliant madness you should read it. I wish you the best for you and your children.
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This sounds like bipolar disorder or paranoid schizophrenia, or both. This is no longer safe for you or your children, period. It is YOUR responsibility to protect your children, which is removing them and yourself from the situation, especially if he refuses help.
Sounds like psychosis, which means his reality is not reality. He is delusional, and to him what he is thinking and saying is in fact real TO HIM. My sons father has schizophrenia and is like this…he cannot help it, and doesnt realize his thinking is totally effed. He needs help, or there is not much you can do…
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This man needs professional help you need to remove yourself from him until he seeks help he might hurt you or you babies. Please be safe and get help this is abuse! 
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Sounds more serious than OCD. I’m surprised you have managed to stay this long! I couldn’t do it, it would drive me crazy.
If he doesn’t get help…. I would leave.
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Honey…he is abusive and may harm you and/or your children.
He needs professional help and you need to be a responsible parent and put your childrens’ safety first.
Get out!
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Run. You can’t save anyone. You can only control yourself. Save your children and leave.
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I had to put up with this right down the to being woken at 3am when I was getting up for work at 3.45am. He would also hit me while I was asleep and kick me. He fell in a preschool teachers vj and took off. Had been there some time it’s now 8years ago best thing that happened
I am married to this exact same man. We have been together for 25 years it DOES NOT get better only worse. We are empty nesters now and it’s still happening I too have had to leave all friends bc apparently they are all cheaters. Even had to quit my Zumba group because it wasn’t worth the constant comments and innuendo every time I came home. just had a fight tonight because he had an issue with our grown son and apparently I don’t show him enough support in their fight. ( I do ) he creates issue about every single thing in life it’s exhausting he too had same childhood you explain I am a good mom a good loyal wife and my husband is very good to me except this stupid mental crap that he creates in his own head.
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Sweetheart this is NOT OCD; this is bipolar/manic depressive/schizophrenia. I have OCD and I need things to be in a certain order. This requires treatment with therapy and medication. Possible hospitalization
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The games he plays are deadly as time goes by.
People will show you who they really are …
Believe them the first time.
302 him. See if he gets helps at the facility. That’ll tell you if hes ready to better himself. If hes not your best bet is a PFA due to abuse. They will remove him from the home. When you receive a court date you recommend mandatory drug screening and mental treatment upon supervised visits. Believe me this does not get better.
Look up Borderline Personality Disorder BPD and hang in there.
He needs to be eating, sleeping, not stressing, constantly reassure him or everything gets worse.
I have OCD, it doesn’t make you go around accusing people of things.
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That does not sound like OCD there is something else going on and to me it sounds like paranoid schizophrenia… girl this needs to be heard by a Dr. Good luck to you
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Thats not OCD. Definitely something mental but not OCD
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Not OCD just something worse…I’m ocd and I don’t act like that
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You can have him out into a mental hospital against his will I suggest contacting am attorney about how to do that. You are not safe with someone that is that mental, neither are your kids. Get him help before he snaps.
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Maybe try medical marijuana
Thats bi-polar. He needs help
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Everyone’s diagnosing him- I don’t know what’s happening in his mind but definitely get him psychiatric help before anything else
My ex husband got help when I finally left. It was his wake up call. 16 yrs and 6 children. He got therapy and began the medication journey but by he time he was in a better mental place my emotions and just all of me was so drained I couldn’t go back . He has quite extreme ocd which brought on depression. You cannot help someone who doesn’t want to be helped as much as you wish you could.
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I watch a lot of criminal minds. This sounds like every other psycho in the episodes
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Is there a chance that along with the OCD that he could be bipolar and/or have some sort of delusional disorder that could be undiagnosed? I am asking as someone with five different mental health diagnosis’ with most if not all of them being diagnosed within the last five years due to being largely high functioning. (ASD/ADHD/GAD/PTSD/Dysthymia ie persistent depression disorder, which my dad also had). A lot of neurodiversities have co-morbidities with other neurodiversities and often times, one will be diagnosed, blamed as the absolute problem because it is the one that at the time of diagnosis was the most noticeable issue, but there can be at times one or more underlying and even more problematic other neurodiversity that is being left untreated and undiagnosed which, if it was diagnosed and was treated, would not be as big of an issue in the long run. I would honestly give him the ultimatum of either getting a full mental health assessment for as many different things as possible (btw, both of my sons have been assessed and have been diagnosed with ASD and ADHD as well and I strongly suspect that they both also struggle with PTSD- among other things, their father and two of their three grandfather’s died in a just over one year period of time starting when one was four and a half and the other had just turned two with their father dying in between the two grandfathers and there have been other things- and I know my younger one especially has anxiety issues and my older one also has a speech delay) AND he has to agree to go to counselling AND submit to whatever treatment plans are recommended OR he loses you AND the kids due to mental instability. And I am saying this AS an ND individual myself. NO ONE deserves to be abused like that and no, it is NOT acceptable for the abuse to happen just because someone has a known or unknown disorder (no, I am not saying it should be perfect all the time: with neurodiversities period, that is an impossible order. But 80 or more percent of the time is not usually that unreasonable to ask for and honestly, even seventy percent would be one thing, though that is at the very low end of the acceptable threshold) AND refuses to even consider diagnosis and treatment. And honey, he IS emotionally abusing you and quite frankly, verbally abusing you and I am speaking both as someone who has been physically, mentally and emotionally abused and as someone who has fallen into the trap of learned behavior mixed with mental health person who ended up repeating what they were taught and is currently working at trying to unlearn all of that, which is hard as it is for an NT and is even harder for an ND individual. So I am not talking out my butt here when I say to give him an ultimatum and to stick with it. You AND your kids deserve better. Give yourself and your kids better. Honestly, knowing I cannot give someone else better right now is why I have been single for almost five years since my late husband died. You deserve better and so do your kids. And if when all is said and done he refuses to even try to give you all better, then you have a responsibility to your kids at minimum and honestly even to yourself to ensure that your kids get better than they have right now and that you have right now.
He has more than OCD. I was married for 31 years to a man similar to this. I finally left but should have many years before. Just a bit of advice, the accuser is usually the abuser.
I finally had to leave as my ex-husband would not continue to get the therapy that he was told to get. The medication’s just did not work and I could not take it anymore. You’ve got some tough decisions to make but if he will not get help there’s no reason that you and your kids should suffer. Good luck!!
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Go to your local probate court & explain everything to them. You can get a court ordered psych evaluation. If he isn’t willing to get help, then you need to get help getting out of the relationship! He may have OCD, but what you’re describing isn’t OCD… and can turn bad quickly!
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I think you need to sit him down and talk to him. Tell him you are not cheating and if he is going to continue making accusations like that then you can’t stay with him anymore because it’s not fair to you. Nor is it fair to your kids for that matter of a fact because they see what he is doing to you, and it’s also not fair to your daughter that her own dad is denying her.
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I have OCD, bipolar, anxiety, depression and massive of ptsd for since I was 15 years old and now I am almost 42. I got a lot of counseling, psychiatric counseling, and have been on medications for so many years. I have max out all of those medications. So last thing was medical marijuana. It helps a lot. I have issues of worry abt my husband leave me for other women or cheat on me. I have accused him those times. It is my mental illness and I still get those help to keep my marriages stable and my life. Because my kids and my husband are way too important to me. It isn’t just OCD. It is more than just ocd. He need get major help if he don’t. The marriage will not be stable and kids will always have the fear to live for because of him. Think twice abt the kids mental and their future can damage their life due of what he did to you for years. Kids rely on you mama. You’re their protector, keeping them safe, and need you to help them to get out.
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Honey u are making excuses for his behavior. And saying it’s not that easy to leave. Oh but it is!! He has mentally drained u and made u think u can’t. U need to run. U love ur sweet babies? And urself? then go now before it’s to late. U already know what u need to do. Ur just afraid to make the move. You are stronger than u think u are. Leave now and save u and your babies from anymore abuse and harm please. He blames it on the OCD because u have allowed him to do that. Stop enabling him and run.
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My ex was just like this, he definitely has something more wrong. My ex had alot mentally an i delt with it till he got to be physically abusive and after 5 years, i waited till he went to work and i loaded up all i could in my vehicle as my familys and left. Honestly if he wont get help then he doesnt care to get help for his family.
I’m sorry but this is not OCD. This is extremely controlling behavior and how abuse starts. They suck you in, and then they start taking things one by one from you, taking “freedoms”. Running off your friends, your family, making you feel “stuck” and like you have no one to talk to. This is psychotic behavior and he clearly needs help, and so do you because you nor your kids deserve this. As much as it feels like it, you’re not stuck and there is always a way out of your willing to take it.
As a DSP in a mental health setting(I am not a doctor) this seems more like schizophrenia/mood disorder with psychosis(possibly manic bi-polar)
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I’m this way although no where as bad as ir husband i have never been diagnosed with ocd though bi polar paranoid sxyfratic r how ever u spell it is what I have and was told thats why I think that way I take meds to help me with it
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Almost sounds like paranoid schizophrenia.
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Sounds like my “suspected” Schizophrenic bipolar ex husband per the rehab center! start planning now, some how document instances have adult 3 rd party witnesses i know it sounds hard but I wish I would have done all of it Bc he tried to get everyone thinking I was crazy abs cheating with this father and a lot of heart ache and mental manipulation and abuse my youngest has trama from it don’t let this be you ! Please
It needs to be that straight forward. Either he gets help or you’re leaving. You cannot put yourself and your kids through this for the rest of your lives. It’s not fair to anybody. No it won’t be easy but you have to protect yourself and your kids.
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