I had a very similar situation with my 15 year old daughter and her friend. I took her to the police station to report the guy. The police gave a stern lecture.
Phone priviledges were extremely restricted (parental controls)
She got a scare because I showed her exactly how easy it was for that person to find where we live and come do something to her. She was not allowed to walk home for a long time because I told her that man could be following her.
She was not allowed to go anywhere without me because he could be waiting. Etc.
All of the scare tactics seem to work, she was truly scared.
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Ashley Beedle yoooo look
I don’t know much about this situation (yet) but my stance would be honesty. Tell her about the married man in Alabama. Tell her that some people catfish. Tell her it can land her in some really dangerous situations. You may not be able to stop it from happening but you can prepare her for dangerous situations. Tell her not to meet anyone she doesn’t know on her own, but if she does remind her to text her friends or you and tell them where she is before she EVER meets up with anyone she’s only met virtually. Make a code danger word. I think it’s best to educate more than belittle or punish. These situations will happen from young teens upwards so you’re best to inform her so she is aware now.
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My question is why tf does a 13 year old have a phone I didnt until I was 16
Look at the news ,make her look up how many teens are missing every week in the United States.
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DISCLAIMER: this is my opinion as a young mom.
I say no matter what you do you cannot stop her. If she really wants to do it she will find a way. Accept that. HOWEVER, I’m not saying allow it!!! Just monitor from the shadows. Don’t make it super obvious you are going through her stuff. And make sure to KEEP HAVING IMPORTANT CONVERSATIONS ABOUT THE DANGERS. Instead of focusing on keeping it away give here information that will make her DECIDE ON HER OWN to be safe or give it up altogether. Show her shows and articles and things like that. I AM NOT SAYING BE HER FRIEND!!! But let’s be real “you can’t control anyone’s actions except your own” is this not what we teach kids also?
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I hope you reported that to the police!
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Beat her ass up …
Luck it’s not my child…dam kids this days
Have her watch the show on ID called web of lies! That’s what I’m gonna do when my kids are older
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Scare tactics don’t always work. I have a niece who is/was the same way. She was 12 and had the body of an 18 yr old, so online she would tell men she was 17. She went through a lot of trauma due to men at a young age and I’m certain that contributed to her decision making.
The most effective conversations I’ve had with her were enlightening ones, not scaring ones. I forced her to think about factors she didn’t consider, like how she would react if her pictures (which I unfortunately saw since I’m the only tech savvy person in my family) got out in school. I asked her how many people she wanted to know what she looked like naked, or what she does with what boys. Ultimately she realized too many people knew where she lives, what school she went to, and that she was single and looking. I doubt she’s restricted herself as much as I would like her to, but I’m not her legal guardian and have a limited ability to regulate her actions.
Every child is different though. It’s unlikely that anyone knows your daughter better than you, so use that knowledge and your relationship with your daughter to your advantage. What is important to her? What goals is she moving towards? My niece strives for attention from peers. That drove a lot of her actions, from sexting to fighting to running away. I’m hoping it’s still early for your daughter and that you can prevent her from making more unnecessary mistakes.
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I would be as up front and honest as absolutely possible. Give it to her raw and uncut. Watch fornsic files and shit let her hear the gory details of what could result from something like that. Time to be real with her.
They still have flip phones with no internet… barely texting capability.
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There is a tv show where girls think they’re texting someone their age and agrees to meet up after their parents go out or are in bed and they sneak out. The parents are actually in the van and they pretended to kidnap the kid. They wore masks and everything. Maybe have her watch some of those so she can understand what she’s doing could get her kidnapped or hurt.
Show her all the news on sex trafficking and report him to the police
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My momma beat my ass. Snapped my phone. And grounded me. Once I was over being mad, she sat down and we talked about all of it. My insecurities, how people are cruel and to always love myself because no one will ever love me or know me like I do. She took me to the police station and had officers show me videos of what could have happened. I gladly took my grounding and thanked my mom for everything.
Let her watch some documentaries of others talking to people online, not a made up movie, actual documentaries. Also, you can get her a phone that ONLY calls you and like 4 other people YOU program into it. Some phones you can get to send you everything they send as well.
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My boys had tablets several years ago. And I was looking through to check up on what they where doing. I found the app that you can chat with people without giving your phone number out. There was an older guy on there talking about rape. I talked to them, I got mad about it, I got soo scared that I smashed the tablet with a hammer. I’m not proud of it. But it happened. The fear that goes through you as a mother or a father even thinking about your child being hurt by someone else is unimaginable!
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I always insisted on knowing their passwords. I put a ton of parental filters and blocks on mostly all social media and other potentially dangerous apps. I did random checks of their phones and had an app on my phone that shared every phone number they were calling/texting and the duration of said call or text. This app also allowed me to shut the internet off completely and limit their screen time. #verizonsmartfamily
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There are apps that can mirror her phone so you can check in.
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Idk… By the time a child is 13 they should know, they should have already been taught of the dangers of messing with strangers. She probably seeing how far she can push you- & how much she can get by with while you’re working to support her.
If her phone is a means of communicating with the parent when she’s at after school things etc must it be smart? I’m not for scaring kids but if it would work for your kid make it count
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Tell her the truth, dont sugar coat it.
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Show her the episode of criminal minds where Kate’s niece and her friend are abducted by a guy online they thought was a teen lol
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Sounds like she needs a flip phone no internet no data
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Get her a basic bare bones flip phone and put limits on who she can contact on it and then get the police involved since there has been contact with an adult male and make sure she sees who it really is and not just who she thought it was.
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the solution is to get her one of those phones that have no texting, no internet capabilities, and you “program” the numbers she is allowed to call or receive calls from. You also need to spend a lot of time with her - supervising her social media etc until she is mature enough for the “stranger danger” lesson to sink in.
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If my 13 year old did that she wouldn’t have a cell phone. I would put in a land line. Lmao
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Well the girl on TV was talking to a guy on the internet she went to meet him now she’s not been seen the girl from Auburn Al but went to school at Homewood al it’s on the TV now missing 19yrs old
Start letting her watch alot of child abduction sold into sex slavery teach her to be very afraid teach her now alarm her do it
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i showed my kids examples that have happened in real life… i am upfront with my kids (age appropriate) about what can happen… be real with them…
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You can put limits on the phone.
Nope. Lay it out straight for her.
Then buy her a phone that is minimal. Flip phone. No internet…nothing. You can also block numbers other than yours.
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Show them! Show them what sickos do to kids. They are now old enough to know the truth.
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There is an app that monitors this type of texting. Google it my son is 13 and I caught some lil girl sending him stuff!!
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Make her do research on how dangerous the internet can be and then require her to write a report the length of your choosing and then the two of you need to discuss it.
Sometimes kids get it in their heads that adults just wanna ruin their fun and they dont internalize what the possible outcome can be.
Get her a different phone for a start. Old phones still work and are like 20 dollars now. All you can do is call and sort of text.
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No questions take internet out of her control
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I’m from Bama. The bunk is a supposed man talking to a kid for??
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Seen lots of parents do a scare tactic where they hire a young adult who looks like a teen with a car and try to convince the teens and get in a car and “kidnap” them.
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Let her watch "hunted and confronted "
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Show her that as a minor she can still be charged with possion and distribution of child pornography and show her statistics on sex trafficking in your area I know it’s a scare tactic but if it works it work
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I’m having this same concern with my special needs 10 yo. She can’t read well or write, but has found creative ways to voice text through IG with her girlfriends. I’m not desperately worried yet, but she wouldn’t know a sicko from a hole in the wall, and explaining that is like talking to a 7 yo. She’s fine because “she can fight the bad guys”. Sigh. Gonna be a long terrifying trip into teenage hood. The phone has no data or texting, and I try to check up on it to see what she’s doing. Taking it away is an option, but not one without serious behavioral consequences for home and school, as it keeps her focused and motivates good behavior. I like the flip phone idea for your 13 year old, and exposure to the sad reality. I may have to do that with my girl sooner rather than later, though I’m not sure she’ll get it. Or if she does, it may lead to obsessive thoughts and anxiety. Uuugh! Technology is our best friend and worst enemy!
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She needs a good ass whipping. Seriously how stupid are these kids nowadays.
Sand paper those camera lenses! She doesn’t need them. She just needs the phone
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Have her watch what happens when they come for them. Also put a parental block in the phone where she can only contact you or her emergency person .
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The movie “TAKEN” Not the one that is a series.
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Have her watch the show how to catch a predator. It will do the trick
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Get her a phone that doesn’t have the capabilities! You can still buy lil cheap phones that she can make calls from, and they don’t have cameras or any of that.
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My child is 11 she is not allowed to talk with anyone on the internet. We have watched clips as a family of what could happen and why we have rules
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Report the man to authorities first of all (maybe even his wife). Then get her a flip phone that can only text/call you and emergency. Also parental controls on computer, you can have it block things that need a password from you to enter. Make sure you have her passwords. If that’s still not enough, take everything away. Hell, even stage a fake thing with her to show her the dangers.
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Get her a flip phone!!!
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Lol make her watch the craigslisf killer. Lmao. And block internet change Wi-Fi password.
Some kids just don’t understand how dangerous this can be. They are too trusting and naive and don’t understand there are bad people out there. It’s hard to try and keep them safe without making them
scared of everything. Just keep talking to her and keep explaining. Sometimes schools have information seminars on technology and safety, that could help.
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There is a movie and I can’t remember name. It’s in one of those crime shows. It’s about the first child murder due to internet. She was meeting people at malls and having sex in cars. Aunt (mom died) did EVERYTHING right. She confirmed with friends parents they were meeting at mall and took and dropped off. Little did she know she was ditching her friends and having sex. A grown man lured her and killed her. Google maybe “first child murdered from internet” or stuff like that. (It’s not graphic just real) Totally changed my daughter. TOTALLY. She cried and said she was scared. I Don’t feel bad. It was reality in her face.
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Uumm get her a flip phone only for calls and texts. No internet, apps, no pics. Just for emergencies… she is a child no need to be sexting anybody
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Hun, believe me, if the kids want to do something bad enough they’re gonna find a way, kids hack into schools web blockers faster than a basic bitch running to Starbucks for the newest drink. I was one of those kids… this girl is hitting the point where she is feeling that “urge” and curiosity in the matter is starting to grow and she may or may not be a bit of a “rebel”… While I agree the matter of talking to strangers in that matter is a very serious and dangerous situation, instead of coming off “harsh” or with punishment, this is something that needs a serious heart to heart moment between a mother and daughter. Regardless of how time and technology advances, basic biology does not and we’ve all been there in some shape or form.
My son is 9, his dad got him a phone, old and cracked, no number, but WiFi capable. I was opposed… his older step sibling showed him an app called Tik Tok… I didn’t even know about it… then one day his dad texts me, pissed off being rude, says “take his phone- he’s posting inappropriate videos” I say what r u taking about. I go get the phone find the app… I’m not happy at all, they were too bad, some lip sinc cursing, his belly, and fake makeup… but I saw tons of older strangers following him. I deleted them all and he hasn’t gotten the phone back for a month so far. I felt a bit old and lame for not knowing about it but I also thought maybe his dad shouldn’t have let his step kids show him that it at least told me what it was…
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Time to take her out the bubble and show her what people are capable of out here. Plenty of news, books, movies, documentaries that can show her.
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Theirs aps to see everything your kids are on online you csn connect to your phone.
This happened 4yrs ago with my oldest… Dude from Florida that was 22 was talking to her pretending to be a kid.
Get very real with her about it all!! Knowledge is power. Watch real shows with her to show how this is so common, learn things to watch out for online together, teach her to never meet a person online and report suspicious people.
I’ve picked out some pretty eyeopening, gruesome movies to watch for a family movie a few times also. It woke my kid up to some very real stuff… Kids tend to believe these things wont ever happen to them which is why it’s so important to teach the truth dont hide how evil ppl are. Empower your kids with knowledge and how to watch for and handle warning signs of a online predator
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only allow texts and calls from you and close friends/family of yours, disable all wifi and data
As a person who did this sort of stuff when I was teen (due to lack of self confidence resulting from years of sexual abuse), there probably isnt anything. At least for me there wasnt anything that could’ve “scared me straight”. But that doesnt mean do nothing. Restrict her phone only allow calls and texts from family and known friends. Monitor her apps and screen time. Theres also apps that you can set up with a password to only allow them to use certain apps for specific amounts of time. Educate her, use the current situation as an example, the person she was texting was not who she thought it was. Work on building her self esteem, and potentially have her see a therapist who will help her work through whatever feelings shes going through
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do they not have esafety workshops at their schools?
tell her to look up certain things online…like lewis daynes and breck bednar.
explain to her about catfishing.
give her a very basic phone.
or… depending on.where you live (im from the uk)
tell them that them sending photos of themselves because they are children could potentially be illegal and they could be in a World of trouble. Likewise the person they send it to if they open it.
Over here in the UK the definition of a child is a person who is yet to reach their 18th birthday.
So this means that say a teenage girl took a pic in bra and shorts…thats generating child pornography…them sending it would be distributing it and the person they sent it to would then be in posession of indecent images of a minor.
over here it doesnt matter if they are 16 or 17 ie legal age to consent to sex…digital stuff is different.
my nieces are both 16 and i explained to them that if they sent pics of themselves to their partners then they could be arrested and put on a sex offenders register.
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13 and sexting??? Make her phone so she can call 911 and you…
No computer access. Then stay on top of it.
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Show her documentaries on this stuff. It’s the only way, she needs to see how bad it is. Or get her the most basic phone possible. Report it also
You should have started helping her understand the evil in this world 13 years ago momma… See the beauty in life but never try to paint a pretty cover on an evil situation.
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Make her watch the surviving R.kelly documentary!
She’s 13 take her phone until she’s 18
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Ok look, so you wait until shes home and in her room. You talk to her, explain how bad it is, she could die. You end the conversation, then you grab your belt firmly, dont want it slipping! You bend that ass over and beat it raw. When you’re done explain that those welts kn her ass are nothing compared to what will happen if you catch her again.
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Take the fucking phone away 🤷🤷🤷🤷
They have smart phone’s just for kids with parental controls. Get her that
Watch Web of Lies with her! That shit scared me and I’m an adult!
Can you turn the guy in? And have the cops talk to your daughter and friends? Scary stuff!!
I think if you know they’re going to do it behind your back. The best you can do is grill it into them. No personal information and absolutely no meeting.
I am not saying this cool to give them the go ahead to talk to anyone like that BUT as parents we gotta be real with ourselves sometimes. They won’t stop just because we say so, so sometimes it is all we can to prepare them to Handel the situations they put themselves in better.
Weather its drinking, sex, or talking to strangers over the damn internet.
This might be intense but maybe have a male friend that you trust and she doesn’t know set her up and scare her a bit and have him bring her to a location that you are waiting at
You need to report him
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I dreamed about this post last night. I dreamt my daughter was mad cause I punished her and she was messaging my friends on Facebook that always comments on my post and asking them to come live with them. I had to explain to her that just because they comment doesn’t mean I know them. Shook me up.
Get a grip on REALITY. A phone is not a requirement. Go straight home, lock the door and don’t let anyone in. Easy peasy.
There is a show called swipe left/right? For murder. About real life situations of people meeting up with strangers they have met online. You could find one that is more age approiate and watch it with your daughter. People always think it will never happen to them but if it didn’t it wouldn’t happen at all. Better safe than sorry
Why are phones a requirement? Never had them 30 or so yrs ago
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What’s that show featuring Zendaya on Netflix? Was it on Netflix? I just happened to watch it accidentally…
Sit her down and have a good long talk about sex and how it is way too early to be getting involved with at her age getting bad repratation possible transmitted diseases teen pregnancy and the worst the sicko’s out there who could lure her then sell her into human trafficking or worse keep her captive to use for their sick wants there are movies based on true stories and newspaper articles look them up and read and watch them with her
Take away their technology. There should have been rules and consequences discussed before granting them the privilege. Never too late to take away now, then discuss.
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Take the dang phone away!!! Why do people think a phone is a necessity. We didn’t have these confounded things when we were kids and lived thru the dreaded cord era. Uugghh I’m so tired of hearing this crap!!
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House phone, or a simple flip phone that only makes calls to certain pre programmed #s. WiFi shut off and password protected so she can’t turn it on her self. She doesn’t “need” a smart phone or access to the internet. She only needs a way to be get ahold of you while your working.
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Check with your service provider they may have things that can help like she can only text your phone or only call you
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I said that got corrected about needing the phone!
The girl SEXTING A PEDIPHILE . CAll the Police and turn the man in! The girl can always find a phone in an emergency. We didn’t have cells in my day and we got by with it. Our emergency got found out!!!
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Instead of a smart phone, needs a phone that just only phone calls. No wifi!..
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I have a app on my daughter phone to keep track what she download and looks at
Maybe get a app on her phone and definitely address the issues about online
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see if the cops have some kind of program too show her what happens to girls online when its the wrong person or they have a way to scare her not too do it .
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Can you limit how she text people and tell her that some grown people prey on kids
13 and sexting? I would take the phone away
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Call the police on him no more phone
First off if my 13 year old was sexting I’d kill her along with whoever she’s sexting. That phone/computer/device would be in really tiny pieces. Land lines is how my baby girl would be answering my phone call!!
Have her visit a morgue or talk to police about stranger danger also put her in counseling if none of that works please place a chins on her for her safety
You need to worry about the whole picture not just part of it! She’s sexting online at 13years old! If this was one of my daughters she would no longer have a phone or computer with internet and the part about people are evil is very true start watching crime tv with her and she’ll catch your drift real quick
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