Have you seen the movie fireproof? If not rent it and then follow it’s lead of commitment. Put in the extra effort.
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I understand why these kinds of questions are asked but here’s the thing.
Love is not a feeling. Love is a choice. I think that simple statement could save marriages.
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A break for ‘valid reasons’ and ‘eventually’ get back together; has me concerned for you. You can love and care about someone but not want to live with them. Is that his stance? How long was the break? Hold your heart closely, you will be quite busy with 2 children and hopefully fiancé will help… Doesn’t sound like he is moving back in right now though. Be yourself and don’t change unless there areas ‘you’ want to change. You are special as an individual. I hope you have family support. Go with the flow, you are a mother of two so don’t put allot undo demands on yourself to ‘make fiancé love you again’. My best to you and your new bundle of joy!!
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How convenient… so while your pregnant he needed a “Break” NOW that your about to deliver his baby… yall can TRY to work it out slowly but Im not in Love with you… WOW JUST WOW!!! REALLY…!!! That’s a Man child response to " I don’t want to be a ADULT & take care of my Family " I want my Freedom "… Conveniently Now that he has built a FAMILY with you " two children " to care for and raise… This BOY is NOT taking his Parent hood or Relationship Seriously at all… This is NOT a all "FEEL " good thing… This is a COMMITMENT to your children and spouse to be the Best MAN you can be The Best Provider the Best Helper. To Step up and BE THERE even when the only Fireworks that are going off are the one’s coming from your broken air conditioning or Fixing your broken down car in the middle of the summer heat !!! Love is NOT a Feeling… its showing up EVEN when you don’t “FEEL” Like it, its being there No Matter What… You have a lot to think about… and "Trying " to MAKE him fall in LOVE with you is definitely NOT one of them… He Loves you or He doesn’t period !!!
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This is so sad. Also bringing a 2nd child into this.
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Honestly, I had the same situation with my spouse. I realized that while I was listening to him and he was listening to me, we weren’t really HEARING each other. When I heard that, he told me all the reasons he was frustrated. When I genuinely worked on me instead of trying to force his feelings, things got so much better. Now, when thimgs are good, he admits that the feeling was frustration more than anything. The love was still there but it’s hard to see when you are constantly frustrated and don’t feel like you are being heard.
P.S.- I also went out of my way to do things he liked, cook his favorite dinners amd do his laundry even when I was mad and hurt. And seeing that I was loving him through it I think made us even stronger.
It’s hard being the bigger person sometimes. Im the most stubborn person there is, but I knew I didn’t want to lose him even more than my stubbornness. (I was pregnant too). Try reminding him of all the reasons you love him. Some men just need to feel the love to be able to better return the love.
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Time to pack up n leave can bet there is another woman
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yes, there might be another woman or maybe not…it really doesn’t matter now. My daughter many yrs ago met & dated a wonderful guy for a few yrs, he wanted to marry her, but after a while (and there was no one else) she told him she didn’t love him enough to marry him. We all were devastate. But this was her choice & her life. Many yrs later she did find the one to marry & I do have a beautiful 11 yr old granddaughter. I will tell you, to let this man go, he isn’t going to fall back in love with you. I give him credit for telling you this instead of waiting until your wedding day & backing out. Be grateful for the time you had & move on
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Look cute during the day, flirt with him, smile a lot and give off happy vibes (people are attracted to happiness), give him oral, leave him cute notes in random places.
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So he took a break while you were pregnant you said sex is out of the question and now he wants back in the relationship that he loves you but isn’t in love no way would I give him the time of day other then when he is getting the kids on his visitation move on my dear find someone who will fall in love with you over and over again and not take breaks when it’s convenient you need 100% dedication
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When you had this break did you both agree to remain faithful something you need to ask him was the break his free pass to screw around and you can’t make someone fall in love it should come naturally if it’s not there it’s just not there and you shouldn’t have to jump thru hoops to gain his love your on your second baby with him you have given him all of you and if it’s not enough now it won’t ever be again focus on you and the kids move on and only deal with him in relation to him getting the kids you do deserve better
Another question while your worried about how and what to do to make him fall back in love with you what about him he took a break during your pregnancy was he worried about feelings of love for him when you needed his love and support
U dont need him, go love someone who actually loves, dont waste u time on someone who isnt worth it.
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Be yourself and Just be friends first. Get to know each other again. Be there for one another, especially when the baby comes.
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It’s not something you can force. Don’t try too hard. If he is going to fall back in love with you let it happen naturally. If he thinks you’re trying too hard it won’t happen.
He wants you to decide?! Too much work? Says he loves you but not in love. What a crock! Dump him. He’s wanting you to do all the work. I don’t know how you feel but he does not take responsibility for himself much less you.
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Is he wanting a little f**k break or what? Just NO!
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I really hope u know u deserve better. I really hope u love urself enough to know that this is so wrong and he’s actually garbage. A MAN wouldn’t leave his pregnant fiancé/gf/wife…and with his 2nd kid.
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U deserve to be happy and to he desired, loved and cared for. If you dont feel that now , pregnant with his child, 2nd child at that, then u never will.
Hes asking u to decide so he can feel elas guilty about the split. So he can say " she left me , she took the kids etc etc " it’s all a mind game.
HE has the choice to make. Whether he wants to be a faithful, loving and attentive partner, or if he wants to learn to co parent in a healthy way with u while only seeing his kids 2x a month.
You can’t make someone fall in love babe. And you deserve so much more than a loveless relationship
You can’t. You can’t make someone feel what they don’t. The best thing you can do is move on. That’s the only way you will find the person who will love you, no matter what… Think of it this way, you two broke of the relationship for reasons, how long will it before those reason crop back up again? A few months, a year? Is it worth confusing your child with “Daddy’s back. No Daddy’s gone again.”
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My ex husband told me the same 2 days I delivered his second son. I told him not let the door hit him where the sun don’t shine. I prayed to God for strength and 2 years later after I had learned to love myself, God presented me with an angel of a man. He raised my two sons with me and we live happily ever after. Sometimes the best gift is for them to see themselves out the door.
Let him go. True love isn’t hard work and you don’t have to “work” to make it stay. This is where so many make mistakes. Real love isn’t afraid of commitment. It wants that ring on your finger to show the world that “you’re mine”. Without a legally binding contract, he’s still single and can come and go. Kids don’t matter. You, girl, are a convenience. Kinda like his mama (cook, laundry, clean house) but with benefits.
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Generally speaking if he needs to take a break he’s really just working up the courage to break up with you. He’s a coward
Sounds as if you are having your second child and not married. He really don’t want to marry the mother of his children.
Look at your life together. Look at the structure of how you live day to day.
What stress weighs on both of you. Work? Kids? Family?
Structure in the home is important. Routine with children is very important.
If life in the workplace is hard, then make the home a place of peace.
Bedtime schedule for the children, gives adults time to be together.
If a home is chaos, there is no peace, only frustration.
Being pregnant does not mean you can’t be intimate, just find other ways to be close. Oil massage can be relaxing for both of you.
If you are having a hard time with your pregnancy and taking care of your first child, ask a family member or friend to help out.
Maybe play dates for your child with other moms, depending on the age of your first, it may help prepare him/her for the arrival of a sibling.
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Ahhh, the old, “I love you but I’m not in love with you” bullshit. Even with another child on the way, You can’t make anyone love you. Sit down with him, look him in the eyes and ask him if he wants to stay or go. You’ll be able to get your answer right away. Either way, you’re going to have to deal with it. Be strong. The kids need you!!!
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You cannot control the emotions and actions of others—only your own. We cannot “make” other people do the things we want them to do; the desire has to come from inside themselves. What would happen if you had a sit down, face-to-face, conversation about each person’s expectations for your relationship and your children? This sounds like a very difficult situation, and I wish the best for you and your family.
If you have a child, and one on the way, and you needed “a break” for “legitimate” reasons, you are missing something BIG. Engaged how long?? He is already GONE. I have never understood this modern “we are taking a break” approach to serious relationships. When stuff starts to get difficult, if the response is to separate and take a break for a while, you are both learning NOT to work together in the hard times. That will mean failure for the relationship in the long run. If you can be successful without each other in the darkest hours, what do you need each other for?!? Move on, and spend some time ON your OWN. Focus on yourself and your kids… Pray and proceed slowly!
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Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. Matthew 6:33
HE can show you both how to get through this and to LOVE each other again.
We forget that love is a verb…an ACTION…not a feeling.
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Your mind should be on “baby” right now… Allow the relationship to become… But you need to be “mommy mode”… Everything else is secondary in this phase…
It’s not your job to make someone feel “in love” with you. Be yourself, love yourself, work on a better you be a good mom and co-parent and things will work out as they should.
Sounds, honestly, like he’s stressed about the upcoming bundle of joy. Honestly, honey, you don’t need the stress. He needs to get through his shit. You need to get ready for that sweet gift that was given to you. Concentrate on the baby. About that beautiful new beginning. If he’s at all worthy, he’ll wake up.
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if he says he doesn’t love you MOVE ON, trust me , sounds like he is immature and doesn’t want commitment … I wasted my time with someone who told me the same thing, we broke up for 8 months and got back together, it was fine for like a month but his feelings of “not loving me” were back…I wasted 6 years with this man waiting on him to love me .it wasn’t until I found JESUS to have the courage to move on… I let go and it hurt bad but God sent me the perfect man who will loves me at my worst. Your young, focus on your kids seek GOD In every decision you make. Sometimes you have to just stand still and wait…
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I want you to go back and read your question again. And then I want you to ask yourself, why am I not using this energy to love myself? Why am I using all this energy in the hopes that he’ll fall back in love with me? You really need to take all that energy and focus it on yourself and learn to Love yourself. If you do this, a new woman will emerge. A woman that you’ll be so proud of. And you look back on this question and be proud of how far you’ve come. When you become this kind of a woman, nothing can shake your self-worth like this seems to be doing right now. You do not ever want to give someone else this kind of power so start doing what I’m suggesting now. The sooner, the better.
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First of all take care of yourself and love yourself. Don’t rely on him and do you. Make a life for yourself and your babies. Don’t force it and just be dependent on yourself. Don’t look for him unless he wants to see his children then make a schedule. Do things that are convenient for you not him. Don’t make him a priority and make him love you. You can’t make anyone love you. Give him what he ask for and don’t give into him. Don’t take him back either. Focus on you and you alone.
Take care of yourself. Find out what makes you happy not what will make him fall in love with you.
Once you make yourself happy you will find what is important to you not him. Just worry about you and your kids love will find it’s way back to you whether that’s him or someone else
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Been through something similar and babe, it never really works out. Someone who can say they are not in love with you says a lot. Best to love yourself, baby that’s here and baby on the way with all that love you have to give. I found that loving myself first was the best thing for my family and my husband did come back around. But the damage has been done and falling back in to love hasn’t been easy. The ups and downs that come with it are hard and both parties have to work that extra bit to come back together. Good luck loves, but my advice is always mama first then them babies then anyone else who proves not to take time from the first two.
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You can’t “make” anyone do anything. He’s already checked out from the relationship. Your poor kids deserve better than parents who aren’t in love
Communication!!talk to him for an hour plus at a time no phone no tv no one else around. Joke around laugh… make sure he knows he’s appreciated and loved. See if it sparks your relationship. But yea u can’t make him if it doesn’t just happen!! The main thing u have to love yourself first no negative talk about yourself In Front of him especially
You can’t make someone fall in love with you, period. You can find out why he fell in love with you. Date nights are very important, you need alone time with each other. Date night doesn’t have to be expensive but make sure you unplug from everyone except the person watching your children. A lot of time we forget that although our kids are first priority we are still a wife, fiancé or girlfriend and we can’t forget that role. There must be a balance.
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You don’t…if he’s not in love with you it’s time to move on. You can’t make anyone fall in love with you, if it’s meant to be they just will.
I spent 14 years trying to make my husband love me but all it done was caused more pain and hurt. The best thing i done was leave him. Im now married to a man that doesnt need to tell me he loves me daily (even though he says it) because he shows me daily. Focus on you and your children. Xxx
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Staying in love with someone is a choice. One has to chose it every day. It’s hard, but if he chooses to be in love with you he will be. Find other ways to intimate. Be creative.
I know it’s very hard but move on with your pregnancy and your other child. He sounds so not worth your time. Good luck with it all
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Not ideal, considering that y’all have 2 kids… but sounds like it’s time to move on - away from romantic relations with him. Now just try to figure out the best way to civilly co-parent.
He loves you as mother of his children but not in love with you. Just try being friends with him for your kids sake, dont push for a relationship with him,
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He’s gone already, if you have to make him fall in love, something isn’t right
You can’t make someone love ya move on and find yourself some happiness
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I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you can’t make someone love you (again).
He is entitled to his feelings and emotions. Loving someone and being in love someone is very different.
He may love you as a person, but not the person he envisions his forever with. And that’s okay. People grow and people change… but sometimes not together.
All you can do is have an adult conversation and get to the bottom of whatever has been bothering the both of you. And even if that doesn’t work, it will still help the both of you co-parent effectively. Win-win.
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U need to just move on. The piece of advice I can give you. Is just keep it civil for your kids.
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You need to run…run fast!
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Don’t marry him if he doesn’t love you sounds to phony to be true 
my heart breaks for you but doesn’t sound like he is committed to a relationship anymore
He decided to take a break when you’re 36 weeks pregnant and you also have a child already? Not a good sign.
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Don’t settle for less than you deserve
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You cannot make someone love you
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Ditch him. You deserve better!
Valid reasons to split. Then back together despite not being in love? And no sex…plus you’re pregnant? Sounds like hes gay, needs financial help or some other non healthy reason. Your kids deserve a man that wants to be a husband and father without doubt.
Respect. Men need respect. Be corny and tell him what about him you are proud of, not what you love about him. Use the words proud and say the words I respect you. Read the book Love and Respect. See a marriage counselor. Pray over him. This is why marriage before kids is so vital. (Not preaching, I was pregnant before I was married) but reading books like love and respect, the power of the praying wife and a few other sound relationship books saved my marriage. I’ve been there and came though it and I now have 2 happy boys and a strong marriage and we are absolutely in love with each other where we were only surviving before. 5 years married, 12 together now. 
You can come through it. Also, as a side note, sex is IMMENSELY important in any relationship with a man. Find a will. Find a way. Obviously after having baby you have to take a break, but before and a few months after, you should be available to him, as his wife. He does need to understand theres a commitment involved on his part too. To all those idiots suggesting she gieve up and throw away her relationship and break apart a family, sit down and stfu. We FIGHT for whats important and the family is the most important thing in the world. Stop with the strong independent woman garbage. Yall gonna pay her bills, help her at 2am, support her emotionally, give her the physical relationship she needs? No. Didnt think so.
Either he loves you or never did. If he is willing to flip like this, he never loved you to begin with. Marriage is hard, and this is a test. He failed the test. If and when he wants to have sex, tell him no because that is what people do when they love each other.
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You have your baby and get your confidence back girl and move on without him. Allow someone deserving of your love into your life. Best of luck to you.
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You can’t make anyone fall in love with you. That’s all up to him. But honestly if my partner says he is no longer in love with me than I see no reason for the relationship to continue. I fell out of love with my ex and that was the end of it. I was done. 🤷
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The man is selfish. What kind of man leaves a woman who’s pregnant with his 2 baby. In my opinion you and your children deserve better and you will have better. Be happy with the joy children bring into your life and focus on doing you and you will find someone who will love you and your children like no other and he will be the only one you’ll ever need. Sayn a prayer for u and ur babies.
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I would pick up my pieces & move on. Once somebody asks you to marry them you don’t take a break & then get married. If he really isn’t in love with you he probably never will be. But you two can make a commitment to make it work & potentially be miserable for the rest of your lives.
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Try counseling if he’s willing. They will give exercises and homework to do that will reconnect you and help you get on that level again if it’s possible. It definately possible to love someone with everything you are but not be in love them…good luck mama, hang in there…
If he’s no longer in love with you then there’s nothing.worry about you and your babies and move on.Someone will come into your life and love you and those boys.Good luck mama
This happened to me with my daughters dad. Found out it was because he was cheating on me and trying to keep me and my daughter around while keeping the other woman around too. This isn’t healthy for you or your baby. You can do it by yourself. The right man who will love you the right way WILL eventually come along. You have to think about your babies and they need a strong momma. Focus on them and let life work itself out. If he truly wants you back he needs to chase you down and be the man he needed to all along. If not, I promise you someone else will. My husband now is the best man I could have ever dreamed of. My daughters real dad eventually signed over rights and walked away. My husband picked up the pieces and became her father. I promise it is possible, even if it hurts. Good luck!
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No I wouldn’t stay with someone who admits they don’t love me. Especially if I was pregnant with his second child. You just need to focus on sorting out a routine for the kids with him and move on.
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It’s not gonna happen. Best to move on and find someone that will stay in love with you no matter what.
Not possible. They’ll either love you or not. That’s not something you can make happen.
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Sad you’re going throu this at 36 weeks prego, hang in there mama. You can do it with or without him.
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You can’t make anyone fall in love it just happens so your best bet is to just walk away
Hun we have all been there but you can’t Make him love you again think of the kids there more kids are important xxxxx
You don’t … move on and learn to love yourself
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Say bye and move on.
You cant make anyone fall in love with you
I was quoted, about 5 months ago actually ’ I love you, but I am not in love with you’ I didn’t push him, I just stuck around, of course without sex , I stopped doing things around the house, stopped doing laundry, stopped buying things and just got up every morning and reminded him I love him, and then went about my day, it doesnt always work this way but things have changed dramaticaly now. Whenever he has a problem he calls me, when hes upset he calls me, he actually spends, legitment intimacy time with me ( not sex rarely and im 20 with 3 step children ) so maybe once a week or twice if that ( he works in the oilfield ) i think that him missing his kids and getting tired of his job, everything else around him was and still is inconsistent but me. So i guess my advice would be don’t get your hopes up, of course continue to do you, ( appointments, whatever you do normally on the daily) he has to decide on his own… but consistency was the key for us… i really pray it does work out for you, because being with anyone you’ve had kids with is gonna be hard to leave, let alone someone you’re still in love with who is unsure about his feelings. I told my boyfriend ’ figure it out for yourself cause I cant do it for you ’ 
Stay strong all that matters right now is those two kids, he will either stay or go… point blank.