How can I make my fiance see that my daughter is lying?

I suggest therapy. My daughter is 10 and visits her dad every other weekend since she was 1. She’s been in therapy for about 2 months and it has done wonders. She’s acting out because she’s not coping with her feelings appropriately

Cameras and don’t tell anyone and when she get to lying play the footage back…

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So you begin with my daughter is lying and then further down you said his daughter? Ever wondered why she might be acting up?

She’s probably doing it for attention. She was the only child before you all came along and now you’re having another child. Ever thought about taking her out for some 1 on 1 time. Pamper session? Just something for you and her.

My son is the same when and if he sees his dad. All he wants is some 1 on 1 time yet now needs to share his dad with another child, another woman and there’s a baby on the way.

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Cameras for sure don’t tell her either so y’all can catch her in the act

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Cameras I kno how u feel

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She’s acting out cause of a new baby coming and doesn’t want to share her dad. See a child councilor before it gets way out of hand as someone could end up getting hurt badly

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She is doing this for a reason. The chocolate candy I dont see a big deal bc you obviously like the candy too. Buy enough for all or none. The toothbrush seems like she feels the little one and new baby will get all the attention. Kids seek out attention mostly bad bc no one rewards for good behaviors. They act like you should just do it so bad behavior gets attention on them.

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Why are you so convinced it is the 11 year old doing it? Who’s to say your 14 year old isn’t doing these things and setting up the 11 year old? I mean you’re so quick to blame his daughter but immediately dismissed the thought of your own children doing anything and actually have the audacity to get mad at him for doing the same? Oof.

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She’s probably doing it for the attention. She might be alittle jealous of the new baby coming. You and your fiance should sit her down and talk to her and see what’s really going on.

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Been there only with a bratty 16 year old stealing money from my wallet and stealing clothes from me giving to her friends, yes I dressed in nice jeans on sale and cute tops and this was out own kid, ugh…

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She is obviously upset about the baby and feels threatened you need to talk with her about the baby and how much she is loved and wanted and how you need her to help and be a big sister

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Install cameras in each room you can get some good ones on Amazon for a good price and gather your evidence bc eventually she’ll forget about the cameras and slip up. Just be patient and then I’d have a convo with said fiancé and let him know it’s expected for him to believe his daughter but you are there and he should trust your words too. Come up with a solution and work it out bc if this keep occurring just imagine what it will always be like as she gets older and what if something more severe happens.

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Kids do this to test you , even your own kids do it , sit all the kids down and have a talk. Hugs are the best too :blush:

This child needs some one on one conversation. Children act out when they can not communicate how they are feeling. Come down to her level and talk to her. Don’t accuse of point fingers. Let her vent her feeling safely. You and your husband need to make her feel safe in this conversation. Hug her remind her she is loved and validate that you know a lot has changes but it doesn’t change how much you both love her.

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Tell him you want to get all the kids in therapy. If they all go it won’t feel like you’re singling anyone out and the kids get help working through whatever they’re upset about

First off sounds about right and age appropriate for the make up but also a warning sign for more trouble ahead I would have dad and mom if still around and you have the talk get her play make up for home puberty talk only not birds and bees and start getting school involved this is just the beginning good luck sounds like normal kids being kids

Record her I agree 100%

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I’m sorry but you can’t see she may be feeling a little lonely perhaps even a sense of left out especially a child her age im not saying you leave her out but with the new baby come she could feel sort of like “not enough room for her left” some times children at that age are reaching out for attention so just spend a little extra time with her just you and her show her a little extra love might make her feel better just my thoughts

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Y’all have to work this out quick and I would do it BEFORE you get married or have that baby. She is doing it for the attention more than likely. She sees her dad being dad to your children as well as the new baby that is on the way. She probably feels pushed under the rug. I would try to get her and your fiancé to have some bonding daddy-daughter time, so she feels important. Or maybe you take her out to eat or something. Other than that maybe get some cameras. Your fiancé can’t deny she is doing anything if he has the proof right in front of him. But to me that sets a bad premise for the marriage and dealing with the kiddos.

Sounds like she’s worried about the baby that’s about to come. Do everything you can to make sure she knows that this baby isn’t going to take any love from her. Keep her (and your other kids) included in as much as you can!

Install cameras and catch her in the act

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She’s jealous. I went through something similar with my ex-husband and his son. He had one son, I had two daughters and one son and we were pregnant with our daughter. His son would do things like this, then lie, even when caught red handed. He was jealous. It was one thing for his dad to be with someone who had kids, but when his dad was having another kid, it all started.

I would suggest making sure that she’s included. You may think you’re doing a good job of showing everyone the same amount of attention, but you probably don’t realize that you’re actually not. Especially being 9 months pregnant. Subconsciously, your focus is on the coming baby. All 3 of the older kids should be included in things. Even if you think it’s something that wouldn’t matter. Ask them to help get the nursery/house ready for the baby. Ask their opinions on things, let them help organize the baby’s room. Stuff like that. When the baby comes, have them involved, even if it’s “can you babysit while I make a cup of coffee” which involves nothing but sitting with the baby for 10 minutes while he/she is sleeping in their swing. Have them bring you diapers and wipes, let them pick out what baby wears. Teach them to make bottles. If your fiancé has no other children, she was an only child for 9 years. At 9 she instantly gained two siblings and now she’s getting a third.

Some of these are petty behaviour children do this for attention, and yes they probably feeling there be pushed out once baby comes, sit herdown all together and say nothing will change when baby comes they will all be loved equally and let her help you more with the baby when they come so she can see she is a valuable member to this family to

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Yeah nip that behavior fast or it can lead to other problems down the road

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She may be insecure with the new baby coming, and feeling outnumbered because she is her father’s only child with her mother. The other children are all by you. She may feel that once the baby comes, she will be squeezed out because she isn’t “really” yours. She’s ‘different”. I would try to set up family counseling and make sure it’s centered on making sure everyone is part in of the same team, no matter whose is whose. That all of you are one family whether parentage is technically different or not. It might not hurt for you to spend some older girls’ time with her. Give her make up tips, such as, only wear enough at this stage to be make them wonder if you have it on… let’s cook this or fix that. That sort of thing. Take her out to eat alone once in awhile. While you are still pregnant. Let her know you’ll need to do these things and leave the other kids with your husband occasionally to keep from going nuts, always being with two little ones with no older conversations. That would probably ease her fears that she’s going to slide away into the woodwork, never to be noticed again.

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You need to talk to her, have a one on one conversation with her. Find out why she isn’t wanting to communicate how she’s feeling. Let her talk about her feelings safely, without being punished for speaking her feelings. Make her feel safe when talking to her. Express that you’re talking to her about her feelings, and she won’t be in trouble, because they’re her feelings. There’s alot that has/is changing. She just has alot of built up feelings & doesn’t feel safe letting them out.

As for your fiance. If he doesn’t see what she’s doing. I’d leave. :woman_shrugging:t2: But that’s me.

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Girl you got to really consider if this is all worth it. If she is already doing this ask yourself what’s going to happen when she gets older. In my own experience it won’t end well for you.

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It’s a cry for help from the 14yr

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she is probably doing it because of your statements like “me and mine.” she probably feels like you don’t love her. I know my step mom never loved me and she said shit like that.

She is jealous that you are pregnant. Give her more attention and make her realize she won’t be neglected. She jeeds reaffirmation. Go shopping together get her some make up. Win her heart so she will support you all the way

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She’s probably feeling pushed aside with your two kids and now a baby. Have her talk with someone as well as the two of you talking to her. The key is to talk to her not at her.

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Hidden cameras. Then she can’t deny it.

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Cameras. Words won’t get through to him.

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Record that little sneaky girl. So sorry you are going through this whilst pregnant. That’s wrong.

She’s likely afraid of all the changes. Resenting you for them . Speak with your husband and try helping her . Think and act the same if was your child. Best of luck

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RING camera… in the daughters room… WITHOUT her  knowledge…
pointed at her nightstand drawer because apparently that’s where she likes to keep things.
 does she live with u guys full time??? Or does this behavior happen on her visitation??
Either way she sounds like she needs a counselor, she sounds like she’s dealing with some jealousy issues and she’s not sure how to handle it or how to communicate it… she needs to learn communication skills. To be honest she is 11 and most of us adults don’t even know how to communicate right. 


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Take pictures when u find the shit in her room and maybe get some cameras but you can’t put one her her room or the bathrooms. Tell him he’s in for a rude awaking of he’s gonna believe her.

Not sure what state you are in but if cameras doesn’t help. Then I’d call the cops and ask if there’s anything they can do. Step sis did the same at that age or round that age and the cops were called. They told the person she was stealing from that they could press charges for theft. Step sis didn’t steal anymore.

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Set up nanny cams when she is not around. Your fiance’ can’t dispute video

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This is a cry for attention, it doesn’t make it right but yes, set some time away with her. Getting treats or doing something girly. I agree cameras in public areas of the house arent a bad idea

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Nanny cam is perfect show him what she is doing

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Is her mom involved…if not mabey she is seeking your attention an yes its thr wrong way but attention is attention to kids…mabey take a day every once in awhile for just the two of you even if it’s just doing nails or a movie date just let her know your there for her

She is showing alot of resentment. Jealous no doubt. Have a Daughter day with her. She is entering into a dificult time in her life any way. Just set and talk to her.

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I think you need to approach it with less accusation and more concern for what’s going on with his daughter mentally that this behavior is happening. Both to her and your husband. Sit her down together and ask her what’s going on and if she needs to talk. Reconfirm you care about what is bothering her. But he needs to be on the same page. Could be jealousy that your new baby might take away from her relationship with her dad.

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Looking for attention since new baby is coming

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The cameras are your best bet to get him to realize his daughter has a problem.

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Clearly there is something going on with her, so I agree you and your husband need to address that with her. But before that can happen your husband needs to believe you and the fact that he doesn’t is a problem.
I feel like she might be trying to drive you two apart by creating this conflict and it’s working.

Cameras cameras cameras…. Don’t tell either one of them you put them up, just let the cameras do the talking :+1:t2::smirk:

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Shes jealous. You brought two kids into her family, having a third and you stole her daddy. Put cameras up in hallways and living spaces link them to your phone and don’t tell anyone. Might have to tell your husband bc he might be rather upset about it if not… but…

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I think her behaviour is due to insecurity ,if that makes sense …you are pregnant with a baby from your fiance ,her father , she may feel that somehow this will change your feelings towards her as well as her father’s feelings towards her …you should both let her know that this is not the case …set her mind at ease …:heart:

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:stop_sign::stop_sign::stop_sign::stop_sign::stop_sign::stop_sign::stop_sign::stop_sign::stop_sign::stop_sign::stop_sign::stop_sign::stop_sign::stop_sign::stop_sign:Let’s look at it at a different perspective. She’s 9 getting intouch with her girly side and wants to play with makeup and most girls have a sweet tooth for candy (chocolate) why not ask her if she’d like some play make up?? Or take her out for some if your favorite chocolate :chocolate_bar: of course she’s interested to have what her stepmother has or likes if she looks up to you. Also get her some art brushes so she can be creative with those!!! Come on she’s a curious child. She is lying as she’s probably getting into trouble more than she would like to for things she’s curious about. Now you started off as saying your stepdaughter is also your daughter but at the end of your point you mentioned “me and mines” regarding you and your biological child. Talk to your stepdaughter and get to know her so she can come to you for things she wants to try. She’s a growing curious child.

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I’d do it back to the little shit. Cook stuff she doesn’t like n be ooh sorry…

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She’s seeking attention

Tell him like it is!!!

Family counseling. Blending families is never easy and she’s at a VERY difficult age.

Put cámaras thru the house

why are you even getting married so early? and having a baby…
you barely know him!!
:roll_eyes::roll_eyes::roll_eyes:

I feel at certain times and situations parents tend to look past the truth because they feel guilty about life and they become more lenient with their child. My mother felt guilty because she divorced my father got remarried and adopted 2 young children. (I was an only child my mothers only child) so she felt i was mad and i got away with more things then i should have and to be honest i was never mad or upset with her. My father was abusive to her and i was glad she finally had divorced him, but my mother had a new good husband and now 2 young children to look after it left alot of time for me to basically do what i wanted to do. She did her best but as an adult i look back and wished she wouldnt have felt so guilty to the point where i got away with way to many things…kids need boundaries love and discipline. Even if i was mad for the reasons she thought i was it doesnt matter she was my mother and she should have put her foot down or maybe in my butt😏 the man your with is allowing his daughter to believe no matter what he will protect her even if she is wrong. He is showing her she does not have to respect you and that you have no say so when it comes to her. He is showing her she can do no wrong and she will always be believed even over YOU. Why would he feel the woman he is having a baby with would lie about is daughter? Because her father has now showed her he believes her over you it will create problems in your relationship and kids have a way of doing such in blended families. One comment was to spend sometime with her and i agree but its her father she needs to spend time with and he needs to make her understand that she will not come between his relationship and that you both are a unit and will stand by one another once he has made her understand that then i feel you and her maybe spend some quality time doing things but also doing things with all the kids to show them although one may need one on one time doing something special that no child is treated different. Show her you dont favor yours over her and the same with your kids and the man your with. Your children need to see that he doesnt favor or give special treatment to his daughter more then your children. I see many comments about cameras i think its a bad bad very bad idea. Besides you shouldnt have to go that route your man should just believe what you say and if he doesnt then how is that going to work if he believes a child over you. Seems he doenst trust you or think very highly of you either

Buy cameras to put inside your house. I’ve caught my kids lying about who pushed who first lmao there’s some inexpensive ones on amazon

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His daughter is a little manipulator and as long as the dad believes her, he is enabling her behaviour. Be careful with her