I’ve been with my fiancé for 2 years. I have 2 kids (14 and 4) from previous relationships and he has an 11 year old daughter. I love her like my own and have since day 1. I’m currently 9 months pregnant with our child and just recently his daughter has started stealing things. First time was my makeup and she gave it back, 2nd time was my favorite chocolates (which I found hidden in her nightstand) when asked she said she had no clue where they were. Now she stole my 4 y/o daughters toothbrush, cut off all the bristles and hid it in her nightstand! When her dad confronted her about it she swore up and down that she didn’t do it then blamed it on me and my daughter! The worst part is my fiancé believes her!! My 4 year old doesn’t have access to scissors, nor would she think to clean up the mess then hide it in her sisters room. I don’t know how to go about this anymore than I have. I’m hurt that she’s doing this stuff then blaming me and mine. How do I make my fiancé realize that his daughter is pulling the wool over his eyes??
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I make my fiance see that my daughter is lying?
Set up cameras 
Get that nanny cam mama 
Catch her in the act & she will learn her lesson REAL quick and so will dad! Seems like she might be having a hard time adjusting with a new baby on the way and is testing you. Prayers!
Get cameras and place them in your home, videos don’t lie
Have a sit down with her and ask her what’s going on and how can you help so that she doesn’t feel the need to 1 do these things & 2 lie about them.
She needs to be able to earn things she likes maybe that will help her not steal sit down and talk to her about her desions
I would talk to him and her, time for a family meeting. Ask her if she woukd want you to lie to her, tell her something then turn around and not do it, or lie. Try to get ger to understand that lying hurts her mire in the end bc then wont be able to trust her pr believe her. I would talk to ur man to and met him know that her lying isnt ok and he shouldn’t be condoning it buy saying she isn’t. Hmmm not sure other than that, good luck. Ya, I agree with cameras, talk to her about why she feels the need to lie, etc
I have dealt with this my entire relationship. It will eventually come out. Until then steal her shit Lmao Jkjk but just give them grace. And give it to God. Our daughter is 13. And now has gotten caught in the act of lying to her father. He knows now. They will learn. Being crazy about it gets us know where.
After she stole my make up I went and took all hers and acted like I didn’t know what she was talking about. Like she did me.
Then said how’s it feel? When someone takes ur stuff without asking? Not good huh?
Idk no simple answer. But good luck. 
Cameras. Dad needs to wake up. This could also be some mental health issues that need to be addressed.
What everyone else is saying…cameras…and also is there a reason why she is lying so much and doing stuff like that?
Sit and talk with her see why she feels like she has to take stuff in stead of asking for what she wants or put cameras up to catch her in the act.
Honestly don’t know wht else to suggest buttt the dad may take.it the wrong way if u set up cams to try and catch his daughter lying
Sounds like jealousy issues
What’s the underlying cause of this… when did this start happening? Was is after y’all told her you were pregnant etc.
She is feeling insecure. Possibly afraid she is going to be replaced. Show her love and compassion. Stay out of it otherwise. Let her father reassure her. Be her friend.
Nanny cams and it’s prolly bc the new baby is about to be there
She is jealous and feeling replaced by the baby.
I battled these situations with cameras!!! Ain’t gunna lie about me . Lmaooooo
Set a trap for her an hidden cameras put something of values out for display an tell him as well so he can see seeing is believing he is in deep denile
Get some cameras installed then she won’t be able to lie because u will have proof
Get cameras. They are life changers. You don’t even have to plug them in just tell your kids " I have the cameras up I’ll know if your lieing"
Nanny cams throughout the house.
Sometimes it is what it is… they always want to believe “their” kids bc that they don’t want their kid to think they aren’t loved anymore, it’s a test… I’ve got 4 step and 4 bio… It’s hard sometimes 
Could she be getting jealous of the new baby that’s coming and she’s trying to get attention? But I agree with the others, install small cameras without the 11 year old know and catch her on camera in the act, if she knows the camera’s are there she might not do anything
Honestly surprised I don’t see any comments like mine… but when I was a kid, I did dumb stuff like this too. However, I wouldn’t ever hide any type of evidence in any of my stuff. I would hide it in my sisters stuff or brothers stuff. It could be quite possible that your daughter (14) is the one behind everything, BUT there’s no way to tell except hidden cameras as everyone else is saying. Could be the 11 year old. 4 year old could be involved in some way as well. All I’m saying is, if I did something and knew I would possibly be in trouble, I would attempt to place the blame on someone else.
Put hidden cameras up for you have actual proof
Sit down and have a talk with her, you and her dad. If this is something that’s stared happening recently, I bet there is some correlation to the new baby that’s on the way. She is probably feeling left out/out of place with the new changes. Have some one on one time with her doing something fun and talk to her. Don’t make it an attack. Ask if she is feeling nervous/anxious about a new sibling. This definitely sounds like a cry for attention and she is will to get it weather if it’s good or bad.
I am mother of 6 grandmother of 21 great gran to36. i think she is acting out as she must feel insecure with all the competition in the houshold and new baby coming
Been thru something similar it starts small n gets worse… Put ur foot down. Once you start calling out her lies and checking her stuff she’ll stop. Let her know that once this behavior becomes apart of her personality there isn’t any going back. She’ll eventually gain the reputation of a liar n no one will believe her n once she starts stealing from other people n places she’ll end up in jail. 11 years old is not little, she understands exactly what she’s doing. Get cameras.
Honestly I’d just go to family therapy with your fiancé and all the kids. It’s a newer relationship and now there’s going to be a new baby. It’s a lot to deal with, especially at 14 and under.
Charger cam …looks like a phone charger
Sounds like jealousy. Give her time. Try taking her shopping or doing something she likes. Just talk to her.
She’s literally 11, im pretty sure I used my moms make up at that age without her knowing who cares 
, I could never consider my Daughter using my make up as “stealing” wtf and it’s chocolate buy more.
What in the world?!
Right off the bat…here’s 2 simple fixes
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Ask if she wants to go shopping with you so she can pick out her own makeup!
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If she likes those chocolates keep her nightstand stocked with them.
With that being said….definitely cameras and I only say that because the 4yo could have hid them in her sisters room and sorry (not sorry) to burst your bubble but a 4yo could definitely cut bristles off a tooth brush so till you have proof you shouldn’t blame it on 1 specific child!!!
If my one 1yo and 3yo can hide shit in random places than so can yours. Also….when my oldest was 3 he got ahold of scissors and gave himself a hair cut and made a bunch of holes in one of his shirts THEN hid the shirt and the scissors. He showed me where the shirt was (behind the dresser) but never told me where the scisssors were. Still haven’t found them to this day and it has been years.
Anyways. I think most of what’s going on could be solved with some one on one time honestly.
Problem is you love her like she’s your own but your putting them on opposite sides of the field… she’s probably dealing with things internally. Kids show that in ways like this. Try to talk to her maybe? She IS only 11
My stepmom entered the picture when I was 5. I never liked her, always thought she had it out for me because I was always grounded and she always told my dad on me. I had chores and was grounded a lot. I also saw my birth mother 2 days a week and every other weekend and she was always talking in my ear about my step mom and there were no rules at her house. I did what I wanted when I wanted too and I always got what I wanted over there.
Fast forward to being 18 and newly pregnant, my step mom was the first one I called and was in the room when I had both of my children. she is my best friend to this day and I’m 25.
Your step daughter is retaliating and may be jealous with the new baby coming. I went through this as well, I have 3 younger siblings from my dad and step mom. Try to have a day with just you and her and maybe spoil her a little and let her know that she is loved and cared for. This is normal and it will pass.
Put hidden cameras. They are inexpensive on Amazon. Nip this before it gets worse. Ur pregnant mama you don’t need unnecessary stress right now. Good luck!
Set up a camera/cameras in the house and catch her
Its probably the 14 year old setting her up. 
. She wouldn’t hide something in the nightstand multiple times where she knows you look there.
Cameras… catch her in the act… hard to lie your way outta that!!
He knows she’s doing it. It’s just easier to blame your daughter than discipline his own. It’s going to be like this forever. He will never accept that HIS daughter does wrong.
Cameras seems like that obvious answer but it’s not that easy. You have to watch/scroll through video to find the few minutes or seconds of her doing something. It’s not as easy as it seems.
I’m not saying it’s a bad idea. I have cameras all over my house inside & outside. They have helped solve mysteries, conflicts &, even some crimes. But you need to know when something happens or have clues to watch for. Nobody has time to watch hours of video to find her stealing on video.
He probably knows but ia doing what a father does, defend!1 his kid. She’s trying to get attention because she probably feels she’s losing ground due to a new baby coming into the family. If you truly love her like she’s yours, reassure her place in the family. Let her feel your love.
you say you have a 14 year old and a 11 year old step daughter… have you ever thought maybe YOUR daughter dont like your step daughter and is doing shit to get her in trouble?
i mean idk it could be your step daughter doing it, but you also have to look at All angels before you just automatically jump on your step child.
I don’t approve of you saying she steals ,she is using without asking .families share .allow her to use it and put back.or get her some of her own ,do you have chocolate and they don’t share .
Pick your battles. Chocolate isn’t a huge deal to me, and she gave the makeup back. The toothbrush is weird but who didn’t do weird stuff at that age?
I would try to do things with her, maybe she’s feeling like the new baby is going to take up all of yours and the dads time. I wouldn’t punish for stolen chocolates. Heck I’ve stolen my bfs chocolate lol
Something is going on with his daughter - maybe try to talk to her and find out what the root of the problem is . She’s acting out for a reason
I would first look at your wording “I love her like my own” yet you kept saying things like “me and mine” and “his daughter”
I dunno, cause I feel like your just over reacting? She took your make up, but she still gave it back. Its chocolate, it’s replaceable, just buy more. It’s a toothbrush, sure it’s a pain in the ass, but you can buy a kids toothbrush for like $3.
He probably just dosent think it’s as big of deal as your making it out to be?
Regardless of anything who are the adults? He really has no business siding with a child over you if you’re getting married. I think you need to have a talk with him alone before you talk to her. I definitely wouldn’t set up cameras for an 11 year before talking to him about the difference between an 11 yr old and his finacè.
Trying spending time with her alone and reassuring her that, she will be just as loved when the new baby comes. Try to make her understand that there is enough love for them all. And y’all bond will not change because of the new baby. Do stuff with just her more. Remember she is the one that doesn’t have her bilogical mother in the house. Try to understand why she is acting out. She is just feeling like she is being pushed aside. Reassure her by showing her that will never happen.
You don’t
You let him figure it out for himself
She must have really hated that toothbrush, so specific.
Why is his daughter lying? Could be your 14 year old. Why are they your chocolates? Families share things like that. Mmm feel sorry for this fella and his daughter.
U need to sit alone with her and just talk to her well show her you care and you love her as ur own well make her know that no matter what she will always be her dad’s first born and your daughter and also the chocolate and makeup and even the toothbrush is a material thing well those things can be replaced but never can be love well I undt completely why she is doing all this unknowingly is to get her father’s attention back to her well she is busy trying to do that in a wrong way well just sit the child down and just talk to am sure you know what is to be her age and do stuff just to get ur parents attention well Same with her🙏
Get a hidden camera. Don’t tell him about it nor her. Once she’s caught in the act show proof.
I don’t think it’s so much what she stole I think it’s more to the fact she’s lying about it and her fiancée is believing her and causing issues. Unfortunately if he’s not willing to put that aside and be a unit with you then there’s nothing that’ll help and he’ll always believe her over you.
Have you tried having more one on one time with miss and have you explained why she needs to not be lying? I know talking doesn’t always help but maybe she’s just feeling like she’s being left out and maybe this is her way of grabbing any attention she can get.
I only say this because my own child has been through this when her little sister was born even when I was pregnant.
Cheap inside cameras. They make super super tiny ones that you can hide in your bathroom or theirs and the living room/kitchen. I wouldn’t tell her there are cameras. I’d put them up and see what happens!
Camera
Don’t say anything. Don’t tell anyone. Just hide em. Lots of truths will be learned …… be ready for anything
Agree above, cameras!
Kids lie. Thats what they do. Its probably a big change for her. Just talk to her. Ask her about her feelings with the new Baby.
He is choosing to believe his child and that child needs a therapist to work with her and the problems she creates for attention.
Good luck, my guy’s daughter is 29 and still lies after 14 years he has realized that she has been lying all along. I had brought it up many times before he caught on . The last time was Christmas and took it too far. I wish you luck, I haven’t spoke to her in 9 months and quite frankly won’t until she gets help. It is mental health issues, but I can’t take anymore I tried everything possible.
Spend some one on one time with her and make her feel like she has space and time with you. Maybe she will open up to you and let you in on some feelings of her own she’s hiding. Cameras are fine but really doesn’t solve the “why”. Communication with her is probably best, it’s respectful and may lead to the begging of a good friendship between you two. Good luck mama!
Sadly until he sees it first hand
He will always give her the benefit of doubt
Same as you would with your kids
She may feel as if her dad is replacing her with a new baby
Cameras, just like everyone else has said, it sucks, but that’s obviously the only way he will believe you which is sad af!!!
I agree with Madassin Malice Hadter definitely get a camera but don’t tell them that you did that then when she’s caught in the act show your fiance the proof
She is her dad’s only blood daughter… for now. So far she has had to share him with you and your children. She may be feeling very insecure especially since the new baby will be biologically his too.
Or maybe she is just reaching that terrible middle school age, pre teen hormones ect. What ever it is she needs help now not later.
Cameras
This is really childish games of hers! Maybe you need to stop telling her dad all this and talk to her yourself! It’s like you are making problems worse! If you love her like you say just take a day out for you and her only! Maybe she’s needing some love from you!!
Get some cameras set up in the house and show him she is lying.
I agree with cameras. I have multiple in my house. They’re extra “eyes”
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You saying “she’s blaming me and mine” over and over while referencing you and your biological daughter…
But also saying I love her like my own…
that’s pretty much an indication that you don’t consider her “me and mine”
Buy her her own. Maybe she’d like some too. My daughters getting older, when I get myself something (food, snacks, makeup, nails done etc) I always see if she wants some too… she shouldn’t have to steal your things, start to offer things, I bet the stealing will stop.
Do what you’d do if it was your own daughter.
Aww its a teenager stage. My teen girls do that too and they’re my own. Maybe try getting her her own things when you get your to create a better honest bond. That’s how I got my girls to stop taking my stuff and it stops the tension and lying. I would treat them when I treated myself. If I bought make up I’d buy body cremes or hair washes or light makeup to make her comfortable with asking for things. I’d also buy them their own snacks too. She would think twice to blaming you when you tried binding and drawing a positive line to her and hers and you and yours.
He knows he just wants to try and run game on you too!!! He won’t stop this and will turn on you
My kids went through this. She’s probably upset another baby is coming because she feels left out or something. I’d get her some counseling. You have 2 kids and bringing a 3rd to her one. Two years isn’t that long of a time to adjust. Just be patient and offer to be the ear for her. If things keep going as they are she may end up just resenting you.
She’s reacting to the new baby probably… But he won’t believe it until he sees it.
I’d definitely put up a couple cameras and hide them to where she can’t see them. And as for her stealing your makeup, maybe see if she wants to go on a girls day (just you & her) to get her own makeup and then try seeing if she’ll talk to you bout what’s bugging her and why she’s lying about stuff. Maybe she feels left out cuz you and your husband are having a baby and she’s upset cuz she knows she won’t the the only sibling anymore.
She is wanting attention. Try having dad take her out for one on one time on set days at least twice a month and thevsame for yourself with her. Give each child a turn of one on one time. Equally time. Kids need that time.
She wants attention ma!!! She’s jealous you about to have a baby, just talk to her, he should go out with her and let her know how much he love her and that nothing is going to change because of the baby!!!
New baby coming and she starts taking your stuff. Maybe she’s upset. Why don’t you take her makeup shopping and maybe to go get some bathroom necessities and let her pick out her own stuff. Instead of running to dad have a heart to heart with her about what’s going on and what she needs with all the changes.
…are you positive it’s not your 14yr old? Otherwise, spycams, lol
I also vote a camera. It sucks to come to that, but he can’t help her when he’s unknowingly enabling her.
Another though: is she being influenced by friends into misbehaving?
Also, what do you do for discipline? Most people will go out of their way to avoid pain of any kind: mental, physical, emotional. Maybe tell her she won’t be punished if she tells the truth but you &/or dad will need to talk with her about whatever it is she did. All kids should have to abide by the same rules.
Does she spend time w her mom? Maybe she’s jealous of kids who spend all their time with you. I agree, spend more one-on-one time with her, even if it’s only 10 minutes at a time. Maybe have a special activity you only do with her.
Maybe have family meetings every week to bring things up & solve problems. Everyone gets a say. You might be surprised by what good solutions even the 4 year old can come up with.
Cameras don’t lie. Once you have it on camera demand an apology from the both of them and let both father and step daughter know that it’s not to happen anymore without consequences. Her father can do the discipline but he needs to at least apologise for even thinking you’re lying about this petty crap.
Set up cameras everywhere except bathrooms and kids bedrooms.
Set up a flipping camera
Chances are he knows what she’s doing and just brushing it off . Chances of you to get your husband to realize what’s happening is zit to nada it’s an issue that will always happen. I’d like to say therapy helps but most likely chances are they’ll forget or brush it off. Sadly your child doesn’t deserve that nor do you deserve to have your feelings unvalidated. Let me tell you a secret…… probably sounds annoying buttttt …. There’s a reason they left your future baby daddy
Set up hidden cameras
I have them around my house. Everywhere but private areas. I have 3 boys so I dunno and not me take the blame for lots of atuff
You and hi. Need to have a serious talk with no kids around and. Lay down ground rules what is good for 1 is good for the other and if one parent is displeased with the way the other parent dose something then he/ she needs to wait until said child is not no where with in hearing distance to calm discuss it. And when one parent says the other parent backs them up they can discussion later if they don’t agree
Cameras in your kids rooms. Not hers as she legally is not your child but, I’m your kids room. Show him the evidence once you have it.
First of all maybe, MAYBE, there’s something bothering her and she feels pushed aside and not important. Kids don’t just act out… but make up? She wants to wear it get her some kids makeup) chocolates! It’s candy, kids sneak candy.
The toothbrush thing… shows there’s something else deeper going on…
And as far as the you and yours, make her feel like she’s yours too. Step moms have complications with realized they aren’t being fair…
Y’all saying camera are really trying to put a child on blast instead of figure out the real issue
Don’t consistently let her control over you. Step up as a mother and talk to her about ground rules. Second take her as your own. Why are you saying his daughter instead of yours and his. Make sure to communicate with your man and treat her like you’re own daughter. One day you’ll get old and you’ll need her, like she need you now. It’s okay to be frustrated. Makes rules, but more importantly show love, care and hospitality to her. Your man will never leave you and she’ll actually care more. Make sure to raise both of your kids fairly. Treats them equally. The thing she’s doing now is based on jealousy and hate. That’s how children are. If not enough attention from both parents. That kind of mentality just make it harder for kids these days to grow up without love care and especially parents to show them the way. Don’t ruin your relationship because you think of her as your enemy. Adopt her and show her you’re there to help. Be a mother that show compassion and hospitality.
I dealt with this for 4 years the stealing and lying even though his father caught him in lies he would take up for him and say nothing to him…the comment he would say to me was “if i didn’t hear my son say it then its not true”
The 14yr.old should be looked at a little closer. Whether male or female (it doesn’t say) the 11yr.old confessed about the make up? But not the chocolates or tooth brush?
This is direct anger being acted out towards 1) Mom, 2)11 yr., 3) 4 yr. Old. The 14 yr old may be the one needing counseling? They have lost Mom’s attention 1st) to the 4 yr.old bio sibling, 2nd) to the non bio 11yr, and now 3rd) to a new baby on the way. And if the 14 yr old helps with ANY care in the house hold, THEY are/ may be overwhelmed with All the responsibility of younger siblings?
Also, with a “new baby” otw, and 2 other Kids Dad’s of " other relationships, could the 11yr old be in the way of “Moms new perfect relationship” of having a Father stay in the household w raising a child? Could Mom be scrutinizing the 11 yr.old, and testing Dad’s loyalty to Mom? …and 11 yr old is not in " the Me n Mines" house plan?
Best to get cameras…
…What kind of toothbrush? A regular tooth brush?