AlAnon.
Your husband knows, you said so.
Chronic pain is a bitch. Addiction is a bitch. Not always a good answer to the problem.
Your husband is willfully blind and this enables her. Addiction is a family illness and doesnāt happen in a void. As an only child he feel responsible for her and she is able to use this to her advantage. HE should see an addiction specialist to be able to identify this addictive behavior and then follow through on the recommendations.
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You wonāt. But if doc pulls records from other hospitals they might can help him see it. Unless she ODs.
My MIL was the same way. Lay the law down NOW. Let him know the day he moves her in is the day you will move out- AND MAKE IT CLEAR- THEN DO IT. Do not ever let her live with you. If you have to divorce your husband, then so be it. Let him know NOW make it clear itās not a threat.
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Nothing you can do about her and getting between a mother and her son is a bad idea I think that might come back to bite you in the end.sorry good luck
I agree that he needs therapy. I used to be in a manipulative situation with my older sister who has turned out to be schizophrenia. Therapy worked for me really well. He needs help before his mother. And, you will be the angel to find him a good therapist.
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Find a pamphlet on pain pill addiction in seniors. Leave it somewhere he can see it. Say it was mailed to you. It was!! See if he sees anything familiar.
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Hospitals can see repest behavior and stop giving them once they notice. Also, if she has a prescription from somewhere then the hospital wonāt add to that. At least not where I live. Go along and speak to staff privately. Once she gets to the point of needing care Iām a firm believer that we should take care of our parents.
Tell him the only way she moves in is for you to take over her meds. When takes over her meds he will see it. Sorry itās the only way you can be āsafeā
At the end of the day, those pain killers donāt do much except make u tired. I know that for a fact.
Help your husband. Get into counseling. Do not threaten to leave him if his mother moves in. You can tell him you do not want that but do not sound cruel. What if it were your mother? You can help him and yourself and his mother by being kind and getting professional help for all of you.
IMO!!, your husband already knows, regardless, Sheās his mom. He may not admitt it outright, He just wants her happy/ pain free. In todayās technology all hospitals can run your name, & insurance, & have access to records.
Sticky situation, especially where parents are involved, sometimes you have to take off the kid gloves!!! Some people donāt see whatās right in front of them!!
Iām surprised the medical profession hasnāt caught on. Itās almost impossible to get pain meds even with severe injury due to the oxy crisis. And a big red flag is going from hospital to hospital. May be talk to a local doctor and ask for advise on how to deal with it. 
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My mother in law used to play my husband like that all the time, holidays we were always at a hospital with her and the chest pains, he was a mamas boy and it was difficult but moving to a different state fix our issues, Iāll pray for you because is a difficult situation
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I would assist him as much as possible to get her the supply of the addictive pills she needs, which should stop the monthly hospital admittance & husband taking time off to care for her. Hopefully sheāll stop calling on him so much, plus sheāll be comforted and helāl have more time for you. Happy wife; happy life.
Soooo when she goes to hospital, they give her pain pills???
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Lord help you. She is still 12 years away from retirement. At that age she should have no problem at all living alone And taking care of herself. I am 62 and had to retire due to being diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. That diagnoses was over 2 years ago and I still live alone and take care of and support myself. Do not let her be that selfish and invade your happy home. I have seen this before. If you let her know she will have to go to assisted living I just bet she would get better real quick. Maybe get some material on places in your area and conveniently leave them laying for her to see.
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Itās ok to help those that help themselves. I understand itās his mother, but if she is addicted that is going to cause alot of argumentsā¦ Either she goes in a rehab or I wouldnāt let her move in. You and your husband will be fighting all the time. Just becareful with what you guys do.
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My former MIL was an attention seeker. She had multiple doctors, multiple pharmacies, multiple hospitals. She was admitted several times to detox, screaming at everyone that they were murdering her because they wouldnāt give her the āmedicine she needed to liveā. Take a list of her doctors, hospitalizations and let them all the doctorās know what she is doing. Explain to your husband that his mother is killing herself, not to mention the physical, mental and emotional toll she is taking in him. She needs one doctor to oversee her medical care, with her doctor being the only one who can determine who the specialists she needs to consult. An inpatient rehab will monitor her drug intake and not buy her excuses while monitoring her medical needs. Good luck to all of you.
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Itās sad. Seems she wants attention. I would let the doctors at the hospital know the next time she goes that she is addicted to pAin meds. They will flag her name so when she goes else where they will see the flag and wonāt give them to her.
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As a drug counselor i can tell you that you are correct. Ive seen this countless times. They will go to the hospital for any reason to get it. Sheās going all the time cuz she runs out of pills early. I promise if you donāt solve it, it will become your problem with your husband. Youāre already there. Tell him what u believe to be true. No doctor is going to miss real stroke symptoms. Sheās doctor shopping at different hospitals so it wonāt keep showing on her record. Make a deal with husband. Tell him to do a pill count on her script. Next time she goes get the staff to do an assessment on her. Tell him if she passes it and the pill count, then u will drop it. If husband will be honest with the ER and tell all the places sheās done this for the same thing, the ER will see it and tell him. But he has to be honest about it all.
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When she is at the hospital again see if you can talk to the doctor or nurse privately let them make the call the drugs will be in her blood stream if they run test for it
He knows
There is nothing you can MAKE him see
Thats his Mother he has showed and told you he,s in this for the long haul maybe it,s time YOU see
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Have a talk with the ER doctor explain the situation to him and have him talk to your husband (ask him to not mention your name ) maybe he can get her in rehab hospitals will flag her name on the charts that she has a drug habit and they will give her no pain pills
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If his father does see it maybe if they are on friendly terms he can talk to him praying
Why is it always MIL problems? I know of men doing the same thing. And his
kids are there to help him and comfott him. Beacuse they know he gets lonely.
Get a divorce before she moves inā¦or get one afterā¦but it will be comingā¦none so blind as those that will not see.
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I have a daughter that has did same thing. On top of that her three kids we raised. They love there mom. Has disrespected us for her. Weāve paid her bills many of times so kids wouldnāt be on street. Elec,food ex. State has given her her kids back 3 times after they was in a hospital stable home. I donāt talk to her anymore. Have gotten her in rehab so many times. I can go on and on. Sheās 44. Sheās on her own now. Iāve tried so many times and put my life on back burner. No more. Her daughter is 19 and weāve had a time with her and her mouth. But wonāt put up with that anymore. I told her. Once I say Iām done Iām done.Sheās on her last warning. Sheās not into drugs but very disrespectful.
Unfortunately thereās nothing you can do. She will never admit to her problem until sheās is ready to do so. Your husband will not see it because he sounds like enablerā¦
Sounds like a caring and well meaning man. He probably takes care of you too. Lucky you. Mother is very needy , lonely, and this will only get worse. The Medical Profession Im sure are aware if she is genuine or not. Forewarned is forearmed. You need to make preparation for a more suitable option than taking this woman into your home unless you have a very large home and can employ additional supervision and care. Financial considerations come into any decisions too right now in preparation forsane well thought out mutually agreeable suitable options. Tell your husband, as much as you love him and her you do not intend to accept the inevitable burden of work , restrictions, and responsibility of this lady because you āare sure you could not cope adequately and do not intend to tryā . Those words are honest straightforward and need to be heard and considered. It will take much discussion maybe some outside conflict resolution advice and help. Your mental and physical health, your needs are just as important as his and of hers.
Whatever you do keep her out of her house or your marriage will be strand and maybe even end
Ever think maybe just maybe she light has pain?
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Close the door behind you and donāt ever look back.
If you think itās bad now , you wonāt believe what is going to happen when she moves in !!
Even if your husband wakes up at some point , you are still going to have to endure the process of the years in between ; which will wear you down and perhaps to the point where you are so covered with anger and A.O.E that perchance you may not recover .
You say that your husband doesnāt see it , perhaps he doesnāt want to see it , is more like it !
This tells you that he is wishy-washy , and odds are he will avoid having to Man-
up .
So where does that leave you ,
between an addict and an infant !
Did you get married to go through this ?
āGit while the
Gittinās goodā !!
Donāt make the mistake of looking back !!
You are caught in a vise , protect yourself
GET OUT while you canā¦ and let the jaws slam shut , on what they will ;
or stay and be
CRUSHED !!
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Tell him flat out and have his dad back you to
I broke my ankle and couldnāt get pain pills 
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Talk to her ,try to help her,what if it were your mom husband prob. Dont know what to do,but maybe you can
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Contact her doctors and tell them your worries. They might be able to get her help
I donāt know that you can. He sees her as he wants to!
Sounds to me like you are helping him see alreadyā:grin:
Listen carefull to what she says about her painā¦then find a good doctor to check her from head to toeā¦
Sick MIL, she can only help herself. and, stop those pillsā¦
If she moves in with you all, she will have full control of him, and it may be too late before he sees the ā real ā her. Good luck.
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Yoy can not. He has to learn on his own and obviously is not wanting to do so.
Ask the exhusband to talk to his son.
I surprised the hospitals a.d pharmacies have not caught on to her. They have her insurance records and can see what she been taken.
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The reason she has been to so many hospitals is because they catch her and refuse to treat her. I suggest looking into some alanon meetings. Otherwise just let her be and donāt enable her.
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You Canāt make a grown man do anything
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Donāt let her move in or you will end up the caretaker
Admitting means they have to change and unless theyāre ready to change theyāre not going to admit to itā¦ She may be in denial herself maybe if possible alert her drs or chemist or ask one of them how you can have it all looked at see if there s a pattern and if anything can be done by anyone to stop itā¦
I think you may need to be rather Frank about the situation. Speak to him in an open but understanding manner. His mum obviously needs some help, and itās easy to forget that addiction is an illness and needs proper treatment. Maybe you could help her by speaking to her and offering to go to the doctors to seek help?
Call Adult protection services and log a tip
This is a very fine line to walk through so be gentle . Sit him down amd explain your concerns . Many times when dealing with addicts we inadvertently become enablers to quiet them down and feel bad to think if we deny them any drugs they are used to are we causing them more pain and discomfort ? What if they really are in pain ? What if they are suffering ? What can we do besides giving them drugs or looking the other way ? These are all commonly asked questions .
Addicts are great manipulators and him being the only child carries a very heavy burden . Just explain to him that you are there to also help him and the you two are a team. Itās time to confront momma with an intervention her making him feel guilty is causing deep hurt whether he realizes it or not . Also family therapy is a great thing . We cant help addicts if we dont help and heal ourselves . Therapy gives you the proper tools to deal with this problem because it is a family problem not just the addict . Breaking bad behavior and patterns is hard but not impossible . Deep down he may be craving for someone to call it out for what it is and make the first step. Calmly discuss options with him reassure him and together you may be able to help her .
Maybe sheās not addicted to anything, and is just munchausen disease
Grab the book Codependent No More.
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Next time Iād bring her to a hospital shes been to and tell them
Give him a kick in the ass and tell him to grow up
I find it hard to believe she s getting medication from different hospitals. Everything now is computerized. As soon as they send a script to the pharmacy they see she has been to other hospitals and what they prescribed. Maybe she really is sick. No Dr or pharmacist would take a chance with their licenses. Those days are over with everything documented.
Years ago you could go to different Drs and get prescriptions .Now the insurance company also would get involved.
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Consider a pain management doctor. My niece has chronic pain (itās legit) and has been so much better since seeing one.
Also, consider getting counselingā¦you individually and as a couple.
Youāre walking on thin ice here,if heās a Mommas boy.
Youāll fall thru alone.
Show him youāre supporting him best you can,donāt enable her though.
Iām guessing fake cause first you said he didnāt see his mom had an addiction but then you said he agreed with you and that he knew sheād been abusing pain pills for decades? Please be careful with your made up stories and proofread them
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get high with her. he will see it then.
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Professional help definently
This breaks families up.
Let him know you are worried and care for his mother. Tell him you are there for him and will help him with his mother.
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Bless you. Wish the hospitals and doctored fo a lot of tests.
Talk to her directly about it.
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He may know but wonāt admit it
That is a tough situationā¦good luck
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I would simply say until she gets off the narcotics its a no. I wouldnāt want a pill abusing 50 year old around my children what if she happened to drop a pill & your kid ate it? Nope. Hard pass for me. Idc if itās your mom. 
& on top of that, if sheās taking advantage of her son now, imagine what sheāll try to pull over on you once sheās there 24/7.
Just went through this with my dad. I kinda already knew but wasnāt certain till he lived on the property we bought. Itās not easy but maybe let her move in and heāll start to see it himself.
He could benefit from Nar-Anon (like Al-Anon but for drugs instead of alcohol). Sheās never going to get help if he enables her. This has co-dependent written all over it. He needs to learn that his and her behavior arenāt healthy and he canāt fix her. Moving her in is just going to cause problems between you two, is her living there worth jeopardizing your marriage? He needs to learn boundaries with her and respect for you and your household.
Ur husband is enabling his mom to continue using drugs. Make him use the hard love & she either goes to rehab for treatment or he will no longer be there for her. Cut the cord
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She is your mother too help her.By doing so you will relieve your husband.
He will see it when heās ready. Would he be willing to try alanon?
Definitely pill seeking. Have seen this with people before. Same MO; will alternate hospitals or Urgent Cares to try and get meds. This is exactly why places arenāt given any pain meds out, besides motrin. Your husband is either really blind to it, or heās just avoiding acknowledging it. Unfortunately, you canāt really do anything about it. Your husband is the only one that can put a stop to his own enabling.
Sounds like his problem
Unfortunately if she is an addict you wonāt be able to help unless they themselves want the help. You can try and do an intervention with your hubbyās help, but it is still ultimately up to your mother-in-law to want to change or seek help. I only know this because of my brother being an addict in recovery. He was forced the 1st time to get help, which at that time he still didnāt see he had a problem. After losing everything including his home and job the lightbulb went on that he needed help and that he didnāt want to live that way. Our mom got the call that he needed help and needed to change for the better. He is now 2 years sober and currently works a full time tiling job and loving life again. He still says to this day that he had to be at rock bottom before realizing that he needed help to get his life back on track.
As someone with chronic disabling invisible illnesses. Who is 21. People constantly think im trying to get drugs. When in reality i just want to wake up FOR ONCE and not feel like ive just been in a car accident.
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50
Isnāt some spring chicken 
I was in and out of emergency rooms for for years after my son was born no issue previously my family tried to say the same crap found out I blew my back out when I had my son three herniated disk ! Now Iām looking at spinal fusion with no help 
!! You can see where pain is some times dont be so quick to judge
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When I had my youngest daughter the doctor assumed/accused me of being an addict because Iām skinny. Until my test results came back I was treated like crap and my daughter was taken from me within minutes of her birth. So as someone who has been accused but never has been my advice is unless you have hardcore proof and not the word of her ex leave it alone. My mother is in her 50ās and because of certain conditions that you canāt see she moves like an elderly person. If youāre truly concerned go to her regular doctor with her and advocate for her so they can run tests that the hospital doesnāt do then go from there. But donāt go around saying sheās an addict unless you know for sure especially to the hospitals. Once a hospital hears that the person will always be treated as an addict and may not receive necessary medication because of it
Intervention. Get her help.
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Have you asked the mil? Please do not assume she is on drugs to get high. Many people have undiagnosed conditions and would love to not have to take meds
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I agree with a lot of the others saying it could be something just going undiagnosed.
For example, Iāve been having what I assumed were just chronic headaches and migranes since I was a young preteen. Along with frequent dizziness and other neurological symptoms. My family doctor even told me it was all in my head every time Iād see him.
I finally found the right doctors now that Iām in my mid 20s to figure out I have a condition called Psuedotumor Cerebri. It literally mimicks symptoms of a large brain tumor and could eventually permanently effect my vision.
Another example, my mom was barely 52 and started having horrible pain from her stomach down to her toes. Chronic vomiting, dizziness, and multiple other symptoms. It got to the point she was unable to care for herself for months, and even ended up on IV nutrition.
She had a handful of doctors accuse her of pain pill seeking.
It took 3 hospitals and multiple specialists to figure out she had a small back fracture from a seemingly minor work injury that never healed right and now sheās permanently disabled.
Please please just donāt assume sheās faking. Even if it is āall in her headā she still needs proper medical help.
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if she is being admitting to a hospital very often, for many different things but the one thing that is common is pain meds, they are well aware she has a problem. But because of HIPPA, they canāt tell her family without her permission. But I would try talking to her if you have a good relationship to see just what is going on. And the key work here is talk, no yelling no accusing, & listen & listen well
I feel this so deeply. My mil was a pill addict and she did eventually have to move in with us and it was a nightmare!!! She eventually had to go to hospice then passed away. This post actually makes me want to cry because it was one of the most challenging things we went through as a married couple. You just need to support your husband as much as you can. Be strong because it will not be easy. Seriously if you want to talk more in depth please message me. Iāve been there done that and wish I had a friend to talk to about it 
Monica Marquez this sound like patās mom remember you have to deal with her
Heāll realize when heās ready. I promise he more than likely knows but refuses to accept it. My MIL was addicting to pain pills and dabbled in meth here and there when I first met her. That was 7 years ago, now sheās a full blown meth addict, mixing it with pain pills and Xanax to come down from the high when sheās ready to. My husband had already accepted this when we were first together (we were only 15) but said he spent his entire childhood denying it to himself and the rest of the family but deep down he always knew, he just wouldnāt accept it.
We completely cut her out a couple years ago. We had our kids at her house, because Iām family oriented and she seemed as okay as she could be, and she ended up overdosing and had 3 seizures and died. My husband did CPR and his sisters called 911 while I got all of the kids outside. He told her if it happened again he was done with her and he absolutely would not revive her. His love for his mother has been gone for a really long time. Long before I had even met him. Itās happened twice since then and we havenāt really spoken to her since. The only time we see her is at our nephews birthday parties.
Ignore all these people saying youāre judging her, youāve known her for 8 years and theyāve never met her. I know exactly what this is like and it sucks to watch your husband be manipulated and lied to. But I think you should stay out of it and let him come to terms with what is on his own time as long as she isnāt hurting your family and he isnāt enabling her.
Not trying to be rude, but mind your own business. You cant control what other ppl do or dont do. She has to deal with her own stuff. Iām sure her son knows. Just live your life. Things are much tougher on ppl for drug seeking, you actually dont know what her problems are. Take it from an old veteran of a drug seeking husband who doctors failed to help his pain but threw pills at him. He died from an accidental overdose. The laws are much tougher now. You cant change anyone elseās behavior.
Do NOT LET HER MOVE IN WITH YOU! PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN!
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Remember that woman is his mother and she is yours also now! Look after her her blessing will take u further in life remember the rewards from God when you look after your mother! Remember life is short!! Do the most u can for her ! God will bless you in return!
Do you know for a fact she doesnāt have a legitimate problem that she feels she need the pills for? I have addicts in my family and majority of them have all gotten addicted to pain pills because they were in legitimate pain thatās either undiagnosed or not curable.
Maybe talk to her about why she feels she need them. And if you honestly think sheās addicted. Talk to her and your husband about getting her into a clinic for Suboxone (if thereās one in your area). They should have a dr in the office that prescribes them, and will most likely have her see a councilor before they give her prescription each month.
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I have seen and experienced both sides of this spectrum. Itās honestly hard to tell sometimes but please donāt just write her off as an addict. I have invisible illnesses. So far I have been diagnosed with 4. She could have a serious problem but itās been undiagnosed. Try to talk to her about going to a primary care doctor instead of the ER , honestly the ER is only for Emergencies. She needs to be diagnosed and treated if itās not an addiction.
Your husband knows she has an addiction. He is dealing with it the only way he knows how. It will be tough for him to really help her how she needs.
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You canāt help him āseeā but you CAN say no to her moving in with you. Thatās all you can do. Continue to support your husband whoās been saddled with an unstable mother through no fault of his own.
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Forcing her into withdrawal may cost her life.u need the hp of professionals and she needs to be admitted monitored. Theres a good way and bad.
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You can not help someone who wonāt help them selfs. If she canāt see what she is doing, then she will never see.
Life is to short.
You and your husband should go to counseling. Maybe he will listen to what you have to say about it all. Sorry parent or no parent, no child should feel responsible for there parent choices.
Hun. If your husband can not see how itās damaging your marriage then he is not worth it anymore.
Help him see what? You said that he is aware she has been misusing pain meds for 30 years. You say you have a decent relationship with her, yet you seem to be opposed to offering her help and support. He is an only child? Where, then, should she go when sheās no longer able to function on her own?
I think there is more to this story.
This woman needs help. Believe me when I tell you that stopping pain medications is no walk in the park! She is probably taking them now just to feel normal. The rebound from stopping is incredibly difficult and painful. I think that what you can do to help is maybe join al-anon, or narc-anon. You need coping tools, and maybe then you can help your husband find a better way to help his mom.
Start with the understanding that you are not going to change anything. The only thing you have any control over is your own reactions and emotions. There is tons of help out there for her, but only if she recognizes the problem, and wants to be free of her addiction. She may not even recognize the addiction. She may see it as "dependence ", which is a word that just feels better, as if addiction is a āchoiceā and dependence is a "necessity ".
You said that he agrees with you &
Knows sheās abusing pain pills.
Sounds like his problem is not knowing how to set boundaries.
Next time she wants to go to the hospital you take her. Then you can clue them in on what you think.