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QUESTION:
"My husband is a great man and is very hardworking…he has a demanding job and i get that he probably needs to vent…but i swear when he comes home, work is ALL HE TALKS ABOUT…he doesn’t stop talkign about it and if the topic isnt his job, he will make it about his job and its not that i dont care…i just wanna talk about other things to…how can i tell him i dont only want to talk about work?"
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"I was the same way. My husband and I agreed to a 30 minute time limit on my venting sessions everyday after work. It helped a lot, I was able to vent and then move on to relax."
"Ask for specific times that you don’t talk about it. Like date nights or during dinner or something."
"Tell him what I tell mine leave it there don’t bring it home"
"All my BF does is talk abt cars. I can diagnose cars now lol just listen. It’s all we can do"
"I had an ex like that. We made an agreement. You have 1 hour to talk about work per day!"
"We have the rule that dinner time is the only time to discuss these matters… everyone gets a chance to talk about their day"
"I mean, that’s all he does day in a day out. How is that any different than a sahm talking about her kids all-day? It’s where he spends most of his time. Probably not much else for him to talk about."
"I think it’s natural to come home and talk about work but to change every conversation into a work conversation I could see that being overbearing. He probably doesn’t realize he does that. I would say I know when you get home it’s natural to want to vent about work but let’s try to talk about other topics after that initial vent session. I don’t know if you realize this but you change all of our conversations to go back to talking about work. Can we try to talk about other things? Idk something like that where you’re making him aware of it and then hopefully he will catch himself."
"Give him 30-40min to vent & decompress…Then leave it at the door!! Life is too short to be stressed about work 24/7. Your job will replace you the moment your gone & you only get to experience moments with your family once. He needs to prioritize after his 30-40min"
"Allow him to vent but then if he keeps redirecting the convo to his job just ask him, “what is still bothering you” ask him “what do you need from me” and be honest about how you want to be there for him but not ever conversation needs to be about his job"
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