I am saddened by the lack of empathy and compassion for you. I encourage you to get some counseling and medication to help you deal with the loss. My husband and I weren’t given any comfort from our families. I yearn for the day my child greets me in Heaven. Having our two year old and a son almost two years after my miscarriage saved my life and our marriage. I was literally diagnosed with cancer and my postpartum check-up located the cancer. Take the time you need for yourself and make sure your husband receives self care too. Consider a pre-school program for your child to bond with teachers and friends while Mommy and Daddy have healing/therapy time.
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It’s not your toddlers fault for your loss nor your husband I get you need to grieve but you are still a mom. I believe you need a get away but other people shouldn’t be punished for this.
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No advice, but I’m so so sorry for your loss. 
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So sorry for your loss…Everyone grieves differently i suffered a miscarriage in late August I’ve also got 3 boy’s 14,3 and soon to be 2 and if it wasn’t for them I’d feel exctally the same but they got me through it they were my strength… i will add that i also had 2 miscarriages previous to my middle boy it’s a horrible experience to go through… have you tried talking to your doctor maybe they could offer you some support along the lines of therapy ? Have you and your husband sat and spoke to each other about your loss ? Also remember that he’s grieving to he has also lost a child xx
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Please get help.
Please let the child you have now stay with family members until you are well. Please do not take it out on you baby or your husband . I know what depression is and what it can do for you first hand … I also have suffered many miscarriages… but never could I be upset with my child or husband for that tragedy . That is when they need you most, when you need them most. But if you know your not in a good place right now and if your child irritates you please let someone care for that child so the child doesn’t suffer because it’s not their fault. I understand the Christmas thing but at the same time I still think there should have been one thing for that child to open for Christmas however With the pain and the pandemic it is more understanding… & you can always make it up to them later on. Take care of yourself mama it’s easier said then done but you can do this. Be strong for you for your family & get help.
May God Bless your family
I’m confused. I get the loss but it was Xmas Eve so wouldn’t gifts for 3 yr be bought before it happened.
Ask your family to watch child for the weekend. You deserve alone time.
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I’m confused…lost a pregnancy on Christmas eve but didn’t buy your child anything for Christmas? So you weren’t planning on doing anything for your 3 yr old that irritates you ?
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I had a miscarriage at almost 6 months I blamed everyone and hated everything my husband was great but even he couldn’t bring me our of it I had to learn to deal myself then I had severe post partem depression after our two year old it was never once toward our two year old but I was horrible to .y husband and 14 year old my 14 year old is actually the one that figured it out I always thought if it was post partem depression I would want to hurt myself or the baby but turns out it can be lil things like wanting to rip your husband’s head off because he breathed wrong or left the toilet seat up again it sounds to me like serve depression and I would suggest a treapist asap
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You aren’t just a mother you are a person. A person that has suffered a loss and has every right to grieve in your own way. Needing to be alone and have some quiet to processes what has happened isn’t abnormal. Sometimes we need the world to stop just for a moment so we can catch our breaths. A husband no matter how supportive can never fully understand what its like to lose a child in the way that you did. Children of all ages can drive a parent into frustration no matter the age or circumstance. Support groups can be beneficial if you can’t find a therapist. If you feel like you might harm yourself seek medical help. Its okay to need help and to ask for it. You are not a machine, you are human. You are allowed to have feelings. You are not alone in how you feel. Talk to your family and see if they can help. I hope you are able to find peace.
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Your loss is still fresh in your mind and heart. I would look at places and find the perfect one for yourself. Sit with your husband and show him this is what you need to process and go through your grieving. Make sure he is aware that when you are away, he has support or worse comes to worse, you can come home if there is an emergency. He might feel like you are running away but just be open and honest with your feelings with him.
If you feel like that is what you need at the moment, try to involve a quiet and respectful friend / relative who will accompany you and be there for you in case you need but also will leave you alone the rest of time for some “me time”
We all need that, especially after a trauma and sometimes talk is the last thing needed.
Sometimes we only need peace and quiet and you have all the right to ask for it 
You are doing amazing mama, take one day at a time and be kind to yourself: you are going to be ok 
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Who leaves buying Christmas presents till Christmas Eve? It’s something that’s planned ahead and things are bought early enough to be prepared?! Sounds like your forgetting the child that’s already here, unless you can predict the future you had no way to know you was going to suffer the loss of loosing a child I’d be spending my time rekindling with my family and mourning as a family and a trip to the DRs
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Depending how far along you were your hormones are trying to readjust, one of the symptoms of post partum depression is irritation and anger, please share your feelings with your doctor and discuss even temporary medication.
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You miscarried I’m Christmas Eve? And you didn’t already have gifts for your innocent 3 year old child? Hmm… so because you lost a pregnancy you’re child who is actually here with you suffers? Maybe you should rethink trying to have more children until you understand that’s not being a mother.y daughter was stillborn and my ex left me at the hospital to kidnap our other son when he knew was “detained” never once would I put myself before my children. That’s being a mother!
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If ur husband dosent want u to go n help u with the toddler …ask family or a friend to keep him for a day or two. Do whatever u have to do to try n heal and to process what u need. Take time for ur self …its completely normal to feel irritated by both …when we are not okay …we are not good wifes or good mommys…seriously do it for u …belive me if u dont ur mental health will worsen…
I live with severe depresion and anxiety and its very ugly once its to late to get help.
She is not saying she doesnt love her other child people. When your grieving everybody irritates you. Give her a break. All she needs is a little break away. Its not like she is leaving her child and husband . GEEZ
It’s not uour sons fault should of still made it special for him
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You need some self care hun; you need to tell your husband how you are feeliyn andyhat you will check in with bim but you ksut need time to process it
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You should seek for help. If the members of your family does irritate you.
Sorry for your loss but saying your child irritates you is heart breaking.
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You need to talk to your doctor about post lost depression. It happens a lot. You need help
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Ask your loved ones to help you find someone to help you.
It can be exhausting trying to find a good therapist.
Be honest with your family and friends and keep asking for help as long as you need it.
I hope your partner steps up for your child’s sake until you can get well again.
Sorry for your loss.
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I gave birth to my son at 22 weeks and lost him back in March, yes it was very sad, and depressing and I still have my days often, but that does not stop me from being a good mother to the rest of my children. Take your time to grieve but you’re other children deserve a mom who cares too, sometimes as a mother you need to put shit to the side and push forward for them. I suggest you get yourself some professional help before you loose more then just a pregnancy, before you loose your family.
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I can see getting a baby sitter for a weekend while you and your husband go off. But shutting your husband out is not fair to your husband, if he’s supportive. Your husband should be your biggest support system, if he’s not, you have bigger problems and should probably seek professional help as well as losing the husband. If he’s a great husband, grieve together, lots of communication and love!!!
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I completely understand where you are coming from 
Look for grief therapy .
I understand loss, trauma, depression and such. You really do need professional help if you cant hold it together to be around your child and husband.
I honestly think that more than a couple days by yourself is not a good idea. I experienced a tragic loss of triplets and for a whole year I was really depressed and almost ended my marriage partly because I went through it alone instead of leaning on my husband. I held in all my grief and did a lot of stupid things for a whole year. So if you go off alone I suggest when you go back home you talk to your husband about your grief and ask him how he is feeling because its his loss too.
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Take your weekend and come back. YOU need this time and your husband is just as much of a parent and needs to pick up the slack so you can mentally and emotionally recover as much as possible. If that means you take a weekend, then take it. Your relationship with your 3yr old will not be damaged over a whole weekend of you self caring during a devastating time in your life.
Cry and take your space, and come back a stronger mama for it. I believe in you 100%.
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Hug your child. 3 yr olds grieve to
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I myself have lost a child she was six months and understand that pain very well but you need to remember the child you lost is gone forever and that you child you have needs you just as much as before ! The love you feel for your lost child you should feel for your living child child you should thank the lord you have a healthy baby still with you ! Losing my baby made the mother I am today in a way it was a blessing I wouldn’t he half the mother I am If it wasn’t for her showing me how lucky and fortunate i am to have three healthy happy baby’s 
you need to get your hormones in balance It took years for me mentally but the PPD drop in hormones took another 6 months to get back in track
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Please seek professional help.
I completely understand how you feel - I went through this a few months ago and still don’t feel 100% myself but I now have the determination to change things for the better 
stay strong and you will get through this! Have you sat down with your husband and had a proper chat with him explain exactly why you want to go away for a couple of days? When it happened to me we didn’t talk for a bit and then something upset me. After that we had a long chat once our 3y/o went to bed and by the end of the chat I think he just understood a bit more about how I was feeling. It’s always good to speak to a doctor if you feel like your emotions are out of your control but nobody should feel forced into this because we are all different 
if you want to chat please do send me a message - always happy to help where I can also please don’t beat yourself up later on about your son and Christmas. It’s been a difficult time and nobody understands how bad it really was apart from you - and as you said the support from family gave him all of his favourite toys xxxx
Iv lost 2 of my children your 3 year old also lost a sibling and it isnt their fault dont put your anger on them its not fair they need mommy to they can absob bad vibes in the air and your hurt dont put this hurt and anger on your baby
Please find a counselor to help you deal with this horrible loss.
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I understand ur upset… but i can guarentee you he is as well… you both suffered a loss and you both need to grieve this loss together…
As for ur 3 year old… they dont understand why your sad …they just want to be with their mommy …
And i may sound harsh here with this one but if you only suffered the loss on xmas eve how was it you didnt already have a gift bought before hand for the 3 year old…
Either way i would suggest maybe finding someone to talk to …maybe you guys join a support group for parents who suffered the loss of a child… or find a grieving counselor they are truly amazing … i had one after my dad died…
I wish you luck and hope things work out for you…
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Did some of you ladies take the “uncut” part of the title to be “lack of empathy”? Yes she still has her child but losing one hurts no matter what age or time. To tell her to pull up her bootstraps as if she can just say abra cadabra and its all magically better. PPD is real. Grief is real. Doesn’t mean she doesn’t love her living child any less, she just needs time to rest and recoup. I’m sure some of you with living children and never lost any have had mommy burnout unless your perfect…
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sending love and hugs xx
Your son is here and he’s alive, get help! Your son deserves a mom who’s healthy and wants to be around. I’m sorry you lost your baby, but you can’t neglect the child that is still here! Also your husband lost a baby too, don’t shut him out!
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I am so very sorry for your loss. I wish your husband was more supportive. I personally don’t think being alone would help, but you could ask your husband or a family member to watch your 3yr old for a day, so you can be home resting. I also encourage you to seek professional help. You might not like the 1st person you go to, but don’t give up. You WILL find someone who can help you heal.
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Having a miscarriage myself I completely understand the emotional rollercoaster. You do have to realize that your husband also had a loss. Though he may not express his emotions as you, he’s hurting too. Your son needs you as well. In these times everything is uncertain. What I did was take moments to myself, in the shower, another room. Wake up early to pray and spend that time with God. Talked to friends and found that many ppl experience a loss with pregnancies. I didn’t feel so alone. Time healed, and my daughter who was at the time 2 still needed me and I let that push me and pull me out from under my dark cloud. One day one step at a time.
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Get some help. What you’re feeling is real, someone who can help you yourself & and your family too who are also hurting. Remember your son is also hurting. Good luck.
I feel it husband has a loss too sometimes they get forgotten I’ve had 4 miscarriages it’s horrible to go through it try the weekend together take time to heal trust me as time goes bye ur husband will feel rejected and this will cause you more problems find ur peace and healing together
I’m sorry for your loss. Ask family and friends to help so you can recuperate. People here dont seem to realise it only happened a week ago! You are allowed some time to grieve. I dont think going away alone is a good idea though. You need support. Maybe join a support group for people going through the same and speak to a counsellor. There are online counselling options. Sending love xx
Well take it to the Lord and let God heal you but you need to grieve and that is what your husband need to realize because it’s you that is feeling the lose of the baby. Now I don’t have kids but it’s hard to lose that one that you love and this is the time to get with God and tell Him how your feeling
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This might be the perfect time to get into family counseling. Even if with a preacher or something. Your family suffered a loss. While the loss is different for you as the one who was carrying the child, it is their loss too. The 3 year old won’t understand thankfully. So maybe just counseling for you and your husband. Losing a child is by far one of the most brutal things to ever face. It happening during the holidays is beyond heart breaking. This is going to take time. Lots of time. During the time it will be easier to just push people away. This is when you need each other most. You’re not going to get over this. Ever. But you will get through it until it eventually gets easier to handle. I’m so sorry for your loss as its one I do understand. Take the time for you. Take the time for your family. You all need to allow yourselves to heal and grieve. 
.
I lost a baby a few months ago it was really tough. I needed time and space I took a 2 day fishing/hiking trip to the mnts it helped alot I felt refreshed
It’s very sad but you have a living child to carry on for.
She needs time to grieve this sad loss. She also needs some help. The loss in addition to change in hormones after both can cause severe depression. I hope she finds support from her husband, family and friends. But also, seek help from her doctor and counseling. This is a serious ordeal. Telling someone to simply be grateful, is like telling an amputee to walk it off. She is (as no doubt her husband is also) dealing with grief. Numerous women suffer miscarriage and that loss is felt deeply. Please, do not be ashamed. You are not alone. It is more than irritation, and alone time you seek. You are in need of understanding and help.
Be Grateful for what you Do Have, not what you’ve lost. You’re 3 year old doesn’t understand and depends on you, don’t disappoint him or her and make them pay for something no one could have controlled. Be Thankful for what God has blessed you with. It’s a Huge responsibility, don’t blow it…
The fact your 3 yr old is irritating you and your husband I would seek counselling to help you through. Your child shouldn’t make you feel that way which tells me your both struggling with the loss.
Being alone is some thing you don’t need…there must be groups where others feel like you do…loosing a life growing inside you is traumatic…and you can feel your the only one…maybe even thinking it’s your fault.which it’s not…support from others will help you heal
It did not just affect you. It also affected your husband. I do not understand not getting a gift for your child. Your child matters to.
I really dont get taking out the loss on them but you do need to realize theirs people who want children and will never have them. You’re lucky to have your 3 yr old. Just take some time alone in your room once a day or something .
Find a local counselor. Much better than going away.
Love him… And morn…
Lou Wilson totally agree with you.