Long story short, my son is from a previous disaster of a relationship. His father was not involved and passed away shortly after. My husband has been “dad” to my son since he was four and even started to call him dad on his own at about age 5. We had a baby when my son was eight, and he was thrilled. My daughter is three now, and he loves playing with her, and he is the best brother! We recently found out I’m pregnant again. He is not happy. He had ODD and ADHD, amongst other issues. He’s In baseball and hockey (depending on the season) that keeps us quite busy. He will continue to play those for as long as he wants. We don’t know how to help him understand that we will still put aside a day for just him at least once a month. I feel so bad because he is my first baby. He’s tough, but it was just him and I for four years, so I have a special bond with him more for that reason. He was just looking for opinions or advice on how to handle it.
Make sure he is involved in everything. Sounds like he is struggling with jealousy
You will have to show him and brag on what an awesome big brother he is all the time. He will be alright. Make it safe for him to come to you and say hey I am feeling left out.
Included him in everything! (maybe get him a best big brother gift from the baby?) Also taking to him about and validating his feelings is important and always speak positivity about the baby to him “the baby loves and can’t wait to meet you” 
gl mama everything will work out 
Did you ask him why he wouldn’t want another sibling? I agree with the other ones that commented to include him in everything, ask the Drs office maybe if you could bring him in for one of the ultrasounds and I would just keep telling him what a great big brother he is and encouraging him.
For baby showers, I always bring a little gift for the older siblings. Why should the new kid get all the loot?
Include him and if he is a great big brother, remind him of that often. I have twins, who are almost 18 now. They were 5 when their little brother was born. I was concerned also, but I just included them in everything we did. If it was diaper time, one would get the diapers and one would get the wipes. Bottle time, one would get the bottle and one would get the formula. I would let them hold him to feed him and when I would need to do something around the house, they would “babysit” him, which basically just consisted of him in his playpen/swing/bouncer/walker and them in the same room either playing with him or just letting me know he was okay/crying. They were thrilled and amazing big sisters. I did the same thing with them and my son five years later when I had my youngest daughter.
Communicate with him, include him on everything, make sure you do stuff with just him probably more than once a month. My son and I play video games together, go on bike rides a lot together without my 5 year old (my oldest is 12 and then 5). He also gets to enjoy his quiet space in his room unattended. My 12 year old was ecstatic when the 5 year old was born… now not so much… they go through phases
When baby is born give him a special task for him to help you and praise him on being such a great brother and helper. Definitely set a special day or time aside as often as possible to spend with him. My oldest son in 12, he also has odd and adhd, my youngest is 3 and I’m currently expecting again. At least once a week or every other week, I set time aside to play a bored game or whatever activity he wants to do. When my youngest was a baby, we would do table topics or ice breaker games at dinner with my oldest and he really enjoyed it.
Keep true to your words to him & keep spending time with him & involving him with his siblings & new baby, that’s how he will start to understand that he’s not put on a back burner & that he’s still important. Even if he don’t want to participate in certain things make sure he still is invited or told about things in case hes just being stubborn or just being a kid who really isn’t interested right now. Other than that you can’t force him to get excited about the new baby. Just share things with him & give him attention.
He will get there… I mean my oldest is going 12 she has her 10yr and 2yr (sisters) and unborn on my side alone. On her dads it goes her, 10y(mine), 5yr old sister, infant brother and an unborn on her/their dads side. They get use tom i have set days where its just my oldest or just middle and both. I do not expect them to play with toddler i mean shes 2. They do of course. I dont ask them to do diapers or bottles (when she was little) unless they asked. Its my baby not hers/theirs. They were not happy. But happy now. I had gotten a divorce from their dad so it was us three for a while. My oldest and toddler are 10yrs apart. They love it. They asked for myself and dad to stop after our unborns. Lol they said they have enough siblings. Haha. Well my oldest that is. Just keep to your word as you all or you and him will have a special day
Could just be his age! My 10 almost 11 yr old is sooooo moody, mouthy and has huge attitude issues all of the sudden.
Make days with just him now (like a routine) and he’ll be used to it, give him special interaction with baby bump, talking to the baby in my tummy helped my son fall in love with the idea of a sibling have him pick a present to give baby when they come home and maybe have him help pack the hospital bag for the baby
Get him involved for sure. Let him help pick out a name for the baby. Guide him to say whatever name you really want and then give him all of the credit. Call the baby his baby. Make him feel responsible and hopefully it’ll help him. Goodluck momma
Do something special with him, whether it’s a day out doing fun stuff or getting him that one thing he really wants and explain to him that days like that will not end when his new sibling arrives. Like his baby sister, this baby will not change your love and closeness with him. I went thru something similar with mine when I got remarried and gained another child.
Get them a pet to show people
I got a hamster
Put wrapped presents hidden in the house for when peeps bring the baby a present
Always have peeps address the older one first and give them their gift 1st
He’s at a great age to be given more responsibility also. It sucks to have to share and my oldest also has those diagnoses and is 24 now. Does he get any type of counseling? Kids just sometimes have a hard time with expressing feelings and he might feel as though this change is happening and no one consulting him.
Girl… kids adjust my daughter is going to have my 3rd grandkid and yes finally a girl the boys are not so much Happy but they get excited when she moves… don’t over think anything everything changes when it’s for real
My advice counters popular opinion, but I suggest letting him feel however he feels, and support him through it. You can’t make anyone feel something they don’t, but if you acknowledge and accept how he feels, he’ll get there in his own time and appreciate your support.
My youngest daughter was like that till the baby was 3/4 months now she’s obsessed with her and she’s 14 months now
There is a wonderful program called Triple P and one of the things the work with you on is getting siblings ready for a new baby.
Keep your word to him and a lot of it is just his age. Maybe update his room for him so he knows his place is still his.
Make sure you keep having your special days to spend together. Try giving him one on one time even if it’s a few minutes a day. You can let him help pick out items for your nursery and even let him help with a name. Just get him as involved as possible. It’s okay for him to be upset and to express that. I’m sure he will come around once he meets the newest bundle of joy 
As a mom was was in the same spot it will be ok
If you can maybe see if hed like to go to the ultrasounds.
Get him involved with baby clothes and othet things- have him help pick out what he thinks the baby would like! That might help. If it doesnt just sit him down and ask him how hes feeling inside- it couod be him not wanting a change this time and feel closed up
Maybe do a belly casing thing and have him help or make together for the baby. Or buy a baby and see if he will help change the baby diaper. Etc.
What helped my son who’s autistic was letting him pick things for the new baby and giving him just that extra attention throughout my pregnancy and explaining how the new baby was “his” baby now she’s 5 months and they are inseparable
It’s going to be a challenge mama but it can be done. I have 4 children to my ex husband. I divorced 7 years ago and 3 years ago he completely up and walked out of their lives. I can’t begin to explain to you the pain and trauma it caused my children. My oldest son is now 15. He too has ADHD, ODD(as well as DMDD, and PTSD) when my now fiance came into our lives, my son was NOT happy. He did everything he could to send that man packing. My fiance just loved him harder and spent a lot of time bonding with him. With my fiance, came his 5 year old son (my youngest hated that… He wasn’t the baby anymore) We have family game nights/movie nights. We ask for the kids input on big decisions (we’re currently buying a new house) and they’ve even helped plan the wedding. We do weekly dates with each child individually. We make a big deal out of birthdays, and any achievement at school or in sports. It takes a lot of effort, and expect push back because of the change… BUT, whatever you do, please don’t scream at him or act angry with him. He’s learning how to cope and he’s leaning on you to lead the way to those changes
My oldest was an only child for almost 8years and a very similar situation. we had issues when I had my youngest. Make sure you make time for just the 2 of you and include him in baby stuff and make it fun good luck
You can’t make him excited. Talk to him, tell him you know this might be hard sometimes, and that whatever his feelings are he is entitled to them. His OCD might give him a way to be part of it. He could help organize the baby stuff.
Some ADHD children don’t respond well to change my son acts up if something simple in his routine is changed. Sit down talk with him and try to include him as much as possible. X
So I have a 8mo old my oldest is 10. He is and his sister are from a previous situation and they still visit him. My fiance and I had not even been together a full year at the point I found out I was pregnant. So my oldest was adjusting to me being in a relationship and having 2 step kids in our home then also he finds out in having a baby. Whew. He has ADHD and serious Anxiety. He HATES change. I didn’t push it on him. I told him it’s ok to feel how he needs to feel about it and we can talk whenever he needed to our we would answer any questions he needed to ask. He really didn’t come around until I was very very pregnant and even then he was skeptical. But the second I brought his baby brother home he was in love! He is now very loving and protective of his baby brother I let him hold him and play with him and feed him often do they continue to build that bond.
So my advice is. Let him know you’re always open to questions and conversations. That you and his dad will continue to love him and spend time with him. And always involve/include him in the baby process but do not force it on him. Be patient and understanding.
Okay, so I have a 16 year old and a 2 year old. I’ve found just making sure you still take 5 or 10 minutes everyday, like dinner or after the little goes to bed and touch base with them about their day/life, every day helps a lot. You can also plan stuff with just him. Also, make him a part of it. Ask him his opinion on everything from paint colors, baby themes, names, everything! Remind him this baby isn’t pushing him out of the way it’s making more room for love.
It’s just his age. He’s already a good big brother. He will come around. Just make sure he gets enough attention.
I had a similar situation with my oldest and youngest.(aside from the dad thing mine all have the same one.) Anyway He was thrilled when our middle daughter came and they love each over very much but when my youngest came my other son 8 at the time and my middle being 6. He seemed almost disappointed that there wasn’t going to be enough love to go around. I made it a point to make him a big part of my youngest being brought home since he was the oldest he got to come meet her in the hospital. Then when we brought her home daddy brought him to come pick us up. All while my middle was at Nana’s. Once we all got home I had him help out with the baby like bringing me things for dipears and making bottles even helping out with feeding. All in all they now have a very special bond that is a little different then the one he has with our middle daughter. It really helped him being the “oldest”. To this day he is now 11 and I had to reinforce the oldest means different privileges and trust is being built. Lol that’s for a later date. Good luck I do hope this helps your situation.
So, kind of related/unrelated…I put my kids on a schedule for the summer, a visual one. My kids are usually asking a million questions about their day, but with the visible schedule, they don’t ask when dad gets off or goes to work, where we are going, what we are doing…nothing. On Sunday, we go over the schedule and make necessary changes for the week, and we stick to it. The anxiety level around here is a lot lower!!!
Maybe start a visual schedule where your son and daughter get to see their scheduled day to day, and then stick to it. By the time baby comes, there should be less anxiety because they know Sunday is schedule day, and whatever day they choose is their date day, and you having been consistent parents who stick to the schedule will help ease the transition. You got this!!! Congratulations 
on your newest bundle of joy, btw 
He was happy with your family as is. You cannot make him like this change. He got zero input even though it will change his life drastically. His feelings are valid.
I think conscious effort to make time for him daily will mean the world. Even if it’s 15 minutes before bed. And a special day weekly. Once a month isn’t enough one on one time.
Time alone with Mom, time alone with Dad, and time alone with Mom and Dad is so needed!
We devote “Just you day” for their birthday. A meal out and birthday shopping with just mom and dad.
Then cake and ice cream as a family.
And always ready for a mommy and me talk if someone needs a chat or even just a cuddle. They know I’ll drop everything else to take care of a need right away.
Take him to appointments with you. I did that with my 10 year old when i found out i was pregnant a couple years ago. He loved it, especially finding out the sex of baby. At 6 months prego i got pick out a stuff animal and I let him pick it out. I made sure he was a part of this as well and made him feel special. My husband and I had 2 names we liked and we let big brother pick the name. Just make him feel like he’s a part of it too, don’t leave him out. Take him to a couple ultrasound appointments and take him baby shopping and have him pick out some outfits. Maybe that will help be excited.
I would try to find ways to include him now. From little things maybe picking out decor or clothes. Find a cool shirt like “my big bro is a hockey pro” find a good baby bag that you can pack and be ready for his games " I know baby will have to join us so imma set baby up so we can watch you together!" Get him excited like he has his own little buddy supporting him as much as the whole family does.
So… my child is an only. But I was the second and came along when my brother was older. He was always the first man in my life. If this is a little girl, he will be the first man in hers. And if it’s a little boy, he will be the epitome of everything the youngest wants to be. Either way, he’ll be the “cool” older sibling. It will be super difficult when the littlest is a toddler, but just try to remind him that he’s the cool big brother… and everything the littlest wants to be. 
“At least once a month”
Seriously ?
Why don’t you worry about what your lad is saying till after your baby is born. Kids say the strangest things, and it’s amazing how they change their minds when the event comes to pass. How can you expect a young child to be excited & understand about something he hasn’t seen
He’s 6yrs not 20yrs. Don’t keep on about the baby and making a mountain out of a molehill, especially in his presence
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Just give him as much love, attention and affection now as you can. Make plans to ensure you keep it up after baby comes. It does sound so overwhelming to him. All the best mom.
Focus more on your relationship with him than his behavior
He can be put med,s to control his behavior or remove him from your life to much stress is not heath for you and baby
While including him in everything, don’t make everything about the baby. Keep making a big deal of all the other things he does like school and sports. Start taking him out maybe a bit more often even just for an hour where it’s just you and him. Let him talk and be a part of everything not just the baby stuff
Ask him to help pick out a baby name… say he’s part of the decision process
Get him involved in everything. And do have special days with each child.
Apply for regional services. See if he qualifies due to ODD and other issues. Discuss your concerns with his doctor or the diagnosis doctor. If you are concerned about behavior see if he qualifies for any type of therapy.
How old is he? If he accepted his first sibling with open arms it sounds more like a selfish age thing.