I’m looking for advice, or some guidance - I’ll simplify this best I can.
I’m a first time mom, and I am disabled (since I was a child, but getting worse as i get older due to lack of funds to get the medical care that I need and due to them missing my spinal 7x which has caused my already bad spine and pelvis issues to be permanently flared) and I struggle with severe fatigue, muscle/limb weakness, very high pain levels, depression, PTSD, I have trouble lifting, carrying, holding my son…my back and hips lock up making it hard to walk, and keeping up with clothes, baths, dishes, is difficult. I have tried for a home aide and have been denied 3x even though i qualify (Too young? idk…). My sons father does help monetarily for my sons basic necessities without any issue, but he is not, and has not been involved since he was about 4 weeks old.
I didn’t learn basic adulting skills growing up, and I don’t have family. I am 100% on my own and we’re homebound because I can’t do public transportation for multiple reasons. I can’t get out to get us groceries or if we need medicine, to go to a park for fresh air, etc. I am on SSI since 2016 due to disabilities, and I’m never allowed to have more than $2k, and have to show assets, all income, etc. I do not own a vehicle. I have no credit. I don’t end up with much every month left over, but I try my best to save for things we need. Right now, we don’t even have furniture. I’ve been saving for months and something always happens causing me to need to spend money, and I beat myself up instantly (Sickness, we lost our food for the month in a power outage last week, etc.) because it seems like im basically just running in place and never getting anywhere.
My depression is getting the best of me, and I’m lost on where to start to better our lives. I can’t find an at home job that I either 1) qualify for, 2) could medically handle, 3) that is under the amount I am “allowed” to earn without losing everything. I can’t find a way to build my credit because It’s too low to get approved for anything and I’ve never had any major bills or purchases. I can’t figure out how in the world Im ever going to be able to get a vehicle for me and my baby to get just basic life needs, or take him to school eventually.
I feel like I am failing big time, and I know he deserves so much better/more than what I have to offer. I just don’t know how to make it better.
Is there a person you could stay with? Just for a couple months so you could save up some money to be steady? I’ve seen a lot of articles on Pinterest for stay at home moms. I’ve seen things like starting a blog, becoming a virtual assistant, different websites for typing projects. A lot of them seem to be things that you can do when you want so maybe look into that!
We’re in low income housing, thankfully. Nowhere else to go. Just saving what I can where I can but it is…extremely slow. I will check out pinterest this week and see what I can find! So far all I have found are jobs that require a degree i don’t have, or an “office” with a door that remains shut and no background noise and with a baby that is just impossible.