How can I make sure our blended family gets along?

I recently got custody of my sisters kids (they were in a bad situatuin) but I am adopting them…they are 5 and 7…i have 9 year old twins and want to make sure that the boys all get along and its a smooth transition…what can i do to make sure my blended family love eachother?

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I make sure our blended family gets along?

Support and therapy for the children coming from a bad place. Possibly for whole family. Patience. Grace. Providing each child there own space to be physically and emotionally. Meeting each child where they are at.

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What a lovely woman you are adopting your nephews.with a heart :heart: like yours I believe everything will just fall into place and your have no worries with your little family.may God forever bless you and your family.:pray:

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Be open and honest with the kids about why they’re there and they should understand. All siblings will fight and butt heads. Cousins too especially if they’re close. They’ll get through it just be there for them all equally.
Don’t treat anyone any different than anyone else and it should be okay. Therapy could probably be a great tool

That’s awesome :clap: I would start talking to you kids about the permanent change ask if they have any questions. Treat them all the same always and you’ll see that they will soon blend together. When children are shown love they love more easily

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Treat them all equally

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Be Patient and treat them all equal

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Family therapy. Patience bc this is a huge change for everyone. Remember to treat whatever trauma/s led to you getting your nephews.

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Do not force relationships. Let them happen naturally and with therapy. If relationships do not work then teach tolerance and acceptance.

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I know my situation isn’t necessarily the same, but this is how we handled our adoption process.

We adopted siblings from foster care. We got custody of them a year apart from each other. Our daughter is 4 years older than our son, and she was 5 1/2 when he came to live with us. We included her in EVERYTHING. She helped set up his room, put his crib together, etc. We explained that he was coming to live with us forever and that she was his big sister. There have been times when they’ve been jealous of each other, and they’ve definitely had their moments where they fight more than they get along, but in the end, everything fell into place. I’m sure everything will work out for all of you.

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Teach all the kids to love each other and compassion and patience and grace. Explain to your kiddos that for a time especially as the cousins settle in there will be situations where things may be hard. But just as your kiddos love each other, they can be great big cousins or “siblings.” Try and do fun things as a family, like game night and lil park trips or whatever you all enjoy. The adjustment won’t be overnight but it will be a good experience for all the kids to have each other to love!

Model the behavior you want them to have. Tell your boys that their cousins need extra love & you need them to help you give it.

Set family activities that are good for all. Make chore charts that include all kids doing things. Have them set the table & even cook together. Set up a school type atmosphere where homework help is provided to all at the same time each evening.

Treat them as equals as much as you can, but also let them do age appropriate things alone.

Implement a no hitting/ bullying law in the home & enforce it by time out together on the couch or kitchen table for the ones breaking that law. Sit with them during the time out & calmly discuss better ways to solve hurt feelings & altercations.

Give each child a space that is their own where they can go to decompress if needed, or just have privacy from the others.

Bless your heart for stepping up. You are the best :sparkling_heart:

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Equal treatment all the way around. But also explain to your kids about adjustment periods for the other ones and them to

Support on both sides. And know your doing a great thing.

You said you recently added to your family. This is going to be an adjustment for everyone. I would consider therapy for all the children. Good luck

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You’ll do great!! God thought your family needed those 2 little ones as much as they needed you!! Treat them all as equals and always remember that there will be days things will be harder, not because you brought a 5 and 7 year old into your family but because you went from 2 to 4 kids, those days will be normal. Your goal is to make them a home team :heart: with love, time, patience, stability and routine your home will be the typical for a family of 6.

Show love, kids tend to folllow grown ups as examples. Be the best example you can, speak kindness and wisdom to them, lots of love and always stick by them through thick and thin. It will all work out.

Communication and love :heart: remind your children these coming into home have been thru enough trauma