With my first kiddo, I worked and I really wanted to be a stay at home mom. Since then I’ve divorced, but now that I’m starting to date again, I want to make sure I can be a stay at home mom for my future kids. How did you bring this up when you were dating? I feel judged when I state this to potential partners when they ask about my future career plans, but that’s how I’d like to mother moving forward. Any advice, tips, would be appreciated.
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I don’t think there is a way you can say that without the man not wanting to continue a relationship. It’s one thing to come to that decision years down the road, but knowing you don’t want to work, is not something many will accept from the start.
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Do not bring that up lol. But what you can do is learn as much as you can about them , what is their career? Do they make enough to support a family? What is their background values? Those little things can help you to understand what type of person you’ll be dealing with. And aside from all of that, you need to make sure they even want kids to begin with
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with your kids? you want him to just up and hey yeah I’ll pay your mortgage and food bills etc lol
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You should feel judged! You’re asking them to support you.
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You better be bringing A LOT to the table for these high expectations! I mean you better be a 10/10, not be a pound over weight, be able to cook better then Rachel Ray, organize like Martha Stewart, read minds AND give amazing head. 
Jk jk, but really that’s what any man is going to say if you guys have just met. I could understand if you were high school sweethearts and have history, then he wouldn’t mind giving you his world, but NO man you meet is going to be interested in a woman, EVEN if she’s a 20/10 without bringing something to the table. Most men will agree that financial independence is a HUGE consideration when choosing a life partner…
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Just tell them straight out. That’s the type of stuff, any life goals that hinge on a partner really, that you get out in the open.
Otherwise, you might hit a dealbreaker down the road after you’ve already fallen in love with a person.
Def gotta start, as a whole, being upfront and open about things we desire and will/won’t budge on in the very beginning.
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“I’m really interested in perusing XYZ career. I think it will pair nicely within being able to stay home with potential kiddos when they are young.”
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Wait and see what happens with the relationship.
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I would think you are looking for love and trust and something to make you happy. I’m not sure how you would “bring that up”…Do you plan to help? When I knew that is what I wanted, I had saved money to not only pay 1k a month for the cobra insurance, but for my car payment as well, and a couple of other small bills. I mean, there are just so many factors here.
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I also wanted to be ‘just a mom’ but reality is you need 2 incomes to support a family. I started watching children who were close to my children’s age.
You contribute and your kids get to socialize. Win win!!!
Also I’m hoping you’re in a committed relationship before you start telling him you don’t want to work!
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Probably you should discuss if they want kids first, before getting into gender roles. Maybe then discuss if his mother worked. A lot of men that would be okay with you staying home, don’t think they need to do anything around the house. And there has to be a lot of trust and a supportive relationship for it to work.
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My man accepted it. The right man will accept a lifestyle that makes you happy. We been married 11 years with 3 kids. I did work for about a year when we had 1 kid bc financially we needed the help. Now that we have 3 plus a dog it just makes sense to not spend half of one income on a sitter. I will probably work part time during day when all 3 are in school but driving them around to extra curricular activities and sports is damn near a job
You don’t cause you don’t talk about it until you’re married or in a very long term committed relationship. That’s definitely not a first date discussion.
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If that’s your choice it’s okay just like everyone else has a choice ! And if that’s what you want to do Keep open About it to your dates . because eventually you will find your match . And you did not lie about it . So further down the road they don’t say you lied .
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I don’t think that’s a first date topic. If you like him on first date and find out his values then You’ll have an idea of if he would agree to that.
OR make sure you mention it before you even meet if going an online route. There are ways to do it! 
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Good for you for knowing want you really want!
I wouldn’t offer up the info out of nowhere. But I would bring it up before getting too serious. In my experience this topic of where we want to be in our lives in 2, 5, 10 years comes up fairly quickly. Usually the topic of “do you want a family or bio kids” comes up then too. I’d mention it then. I would say exactly what you said here. “I worked with my first child and I want to be a SAHM for my next child and this is a priority for me.”
If they don’t like it then good riddance!
Don’t hold back on speaking out about what you want just because they might not like hearing it.
Why waste a second of your time with someone who doesn’t want the same things.
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I don’t think it needs to be said right away. I would mention my non negotiables which were both of us sharing our beliefs in God, ONE DAY IN THE FUTURE getting married and having atleast 1 baby. All the details of those things can be discussed and worked out along the way. I became tired of wasting my time and would bring up those 3 non negotiable either before meeting or the 1st or 2nd date. Even after mentioning those things guys still wanted to go out with me and the ones who didn’t were generally grateful I didn’t waste their time or money on dates either lol. I’m now married to a man who loves Jesus and he got me pregnant on our honeymoon (on purpose) and I ended up becoming a SAHM like a week before we found out I was pregnant lol. I really don’t think most men mind having a stay at home wife so long as it’s financially feesable. We talked about it probably like 6ish months in that I’d like to stay at home with the baby when we had one. He works really hard to make that happen for out family 
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Don’t bring it up at all unless you become serious with that person.
Not first date material but perhaps if you throw it in there that you’re willing to help save money to put away a little nest egg to fund these SAHM years it would make that idea more appealing.
Just join sugar daddy. Com already sheesh
Just tell them hey I’m tired of working and I need you to take care of me and my child because I don’t plan to work another day once we’re married and have children. Yeah get that out of the way real quick.
How long have you been dating this guy? Don’t bring up kids too soon. Make sure he’s a man you want to have kids with first. Not everything needs to disclosed right away.
If you date someone and it seems to be getting serious then tell them. Make sure you are on the same page about kids and other things you consider deal breakers.
Please tell me this is a joke 
You honestly expect to tell some random dude your only ambition in life is to have a partner that supports you and YOUR child 
You can’t just count on someone to pay you and your child’s way in life. My opinion it’s gunna be a pretty bad red flag for every guy you date if you start off with “oh by the way I don’t wanna work. Like ever. So I need you to financially provide for me and my child” that’s not right
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Why should some other man who is not the father of your children support you enough so where you can stay-at-home?
I wouldnt mention it on a date. Talk about how your goal is to be a sahm. Like I wfm so I work and im a sahm. Im trying to do my photography full time so I caashamed. sahm.
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He will think you just want a man to support you an your kid he will run away don’t blame him
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That’s not realistic expectation when you’re not even actually in a relationship with someone. Wanting to be a SAHM and actually being able to do so are two different things… you have no idea what life will be like that far down the road. You could find a wealthy man and have babies in a few years and he could lose his job and you’d end up having to work. Don’t place so much pressure on a relationship that hasn’t even begun yet.
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I get that you want to be a SAHM but you should also have a career in mind. This day in age is really tough to get by comfortably with only one income. A lot of men can’t do it tbh. Or it would cause him to get a second job. If you ask me it isn’t fair. We should all be pulling our own weight, but to each their own. This definitely isn’t a “first date” topic but when kids get brought up you should state you would like to stay at home for X amount of time after baby is born.
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It honestly makes you sound like you’re looking for someone to support you and whoever agrees wins….
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I wouldn’t mention anything that expresses your interest in marriage, family or especially being a SAHM until the relationship had sufficiently developed into one where that is an appropriate topic. People change their minds about all three topics as a relationship develops and evolves. You bring it up too soon and you appear to be lazy & entitled, whereas if you bring it up when you’ve discussed marriage and family planning, he may say that he would want his wife to be a SAHM. Personally, I think that being dependent on someone else for your 5 minutes of freedom or $50 to buy groceries & tampons would be horrendous. As a military spouse that did in-home daycare, I stayed home and still had my own income. The week my youngest started kindergarten, I started nursing school…
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You don’t mention it because it’s a given anyhow.
Every person alive would prefer to not work and be a kept person. Your male dates want the same thing as you.
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I mean, go ahead and mention it if you want them running for the hills lol
This is not a first date topic and you don’t bring it up until you’re engaged or pregnant again.
I’m sorry but you sound delusional lol I don’t know a single boyfriend that would support a woman and children that aren’t his lol 
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Why would you “expect” someone else to take care of you. Wanting to be a sahm & actually being able to do it are 2 completely different things. As a single mother now how do you support you & your child? Hopefully working…if you get in a relationship & you have another child & you guys can afford for your to stay home & it’s what you both want then that’s great. I would not solely depend on a man to take care either. Have a career or job in mind as a back up anything can happen in a relationship. I would LOVE to be a sahm but I have 2 children (older now) but I always work 2 jobs to make ends meet. That’s what you are supposed to do when you have children. You do what it takes to take care if them. Mine is to work if yours is the “get a man & have him take care of you” then good luck. I’m sure you will find some guy to do that but be very careful what you wish for. Your in real life not a movie
I wouldn’t just come out and ask. I’d at least wait until you’re planning a family with somebody.
My SO and I didn’t talk about it until 6 years in and second baby on the way. SAHM wasn’t really planned though.
I didn’t bring it up to my husband until we started talking about kids and that was after at least two years of dating. However, we were 17 when we started dating. I told him I wanted to be home when we had kids. He agreed.
I think that’s a conversation that should be had when things start to get serious and you start talking about kids. That kind of conversation early on can scare someone away.
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I completely understand why you want to find this out but unfortunately it’s something you need to wait to ask.I know once I got divorced I really didn’t want to waste my time on the wrong person again! It is a really important conversation to have, to make sure you’re both on the same page on how you want to raise future children but it isn’t something you bring up until you’re further into a relationship. It should be brought up whenever the conversation about having kids gets brought up.
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I don’t think any hard working and financially motivated person would feel comfortable with that being said on a first date.
That’s like saying “hey I need you to take care of me and my kids” which is a LOT to hear on a first date.
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I didn’t have this exact situation… but when I started dating after my first child one of the first big conversations was how I want more kids. It scared many off and I was okay with that because I know that was a must for me for the future. It may scare many off but if this is a must for you , then maybe it’s worth saying it 
if you won’t be happy not doing that and if the person your dating is particular about what they want it could make things worse just waiting and seeing what happens
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“How do I tell people I want someone to provide for me and my children while I stay home being a parent to kids I don’t even have yet?” sounds pretty cringey to me.
It took me 10 years to become a SAHM for a couple years. Sounds like you are gonna have to work for it!
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Well you could ask about if they want children in the future and what their feelings are on the mother of their child working too. I feel like that way they could either say they don’t have an issue with her working and/or that they would be fine with or prefer that she’s home with them. I think you can definitely ask things in a way where you get your answer without directly asking
This is a pretty unrealistic expectation, as your kids are yours and your financial responsibility, to expect another man to take that on for your heart is something you’re going to have to put in your dating bio lol bc that’s gonna weed a lot of men out initially…Don’t waste their time or yours
You better date someone that makes six figures, because now days it takes both parents working just to make end meet! One has to work at night and one during the day so someone is with the kids without paying ridiculously high daycare.
Let’s be real.
Can’t really raise kids on 1 income.
Having independence for yourself and child is the best thing you can do.
How old is your current child? I think this could be a hard pill to swallow for someone-to get married and be fully responsible for you, your child, himself and a baby. Yes, when you marry someone with a child that is an extra responsibility that you take on, but to take it on without the mother’s financial assistance is a lot to ask for.
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If you are dating men that are afraid of the word marriage when you are looking for a husband then dont be afraid to scare off the wrong ones by saying" im looking for a husband not a hookup." For all you ladies afraid of scaring a player away.idk why… Play stupid games get stupid prizes. I was straight forward and he said " ok. Im looking for a wife, lets see if we work. " 9 years later he is snoring next to me. Hes very sweet and handy etc. 
I would say what your goals are. What you plan to do with your spare time. Running a side job or taking online classes.
I have stayed home the last few years. I regret not going to school. So I am currently enrolled to do a couple classes this spring semester.
I am currently lost in the world of being a mom with no outlet of being my self.
Knowing my kids will all be in school full time come fall of 2024.
I need to have my independence back and being home shouldn’t be taken for granted.
All I am saying is work on things you enjoy or that could better yourself/family.
Why couldn’t you work until you have more kids? What is the situation with your first kid, how old and does the dad have split custody?
“Do you plan to help” !!! Some of y’all obviously have no understanding of what a SAHM does if you’re asking that question.
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I stay home with my kids and work a full time job remotely. Just saying. You can do both 
you have options even if you wanted to stay at home with your child you have now.
My now husband actually brought it up, I think he got the feeling I wanted that lifestyle too.
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I highly recommend you DO NOT bring this up. If I was a perspective partner I would hightail it out of their quicker than you could say hi.
Don’t think you should bring it up at all right now. You just started dating again. You can’t assume that every guy you date is going to marry you. Be a good mother and let the rest come when the time is right.
You want to send them screaming into the night… yeah open with that😝. Life is about being a team player… you want to just opt out?
If my son told me his girlfriend asked this I would tell him to run
If you hace the money do it and also discuss that you might change your mind as well
Not dating a conversation
I’m more of a traditional woman and want to raise my children at home if I can.
It’s not a problem at all, as long as your wealthy parents contribute to pay the bills so I don’t have to work 3 jobs.
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I think if you’re married and he agrees with it it’s fine, or at least living together and he’s the main bill payer. I worked until my daughter was 2 and then I finally got the opportunity to stay home.
At the end of the day I wouldn’t bring it up it’s up to you at this point to support the family you have. From their it’s up to you and your partner on the family you create if any.
Not to mention you never know what turns and things life may give you. I was told I could step back we had it all planned out and my husband lost his job twice in 2022 and will still be laid off going into 2023. I also got laid off in 20222.
I have the skills and everything to make way more then him so here we are me looking for a better sales job instead of working at a place I love for less pay so we can make it.
Fall In love with the right person and let life guide you down the right path from their.
I don’t mention it unless things get serious
You want a sugga daddy 
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Learn a trade that you can work from home.
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You say that you plan to work until you give birth to a child. And that you plan to stay home and raise the babies until they’re in school. It saves on daycare costs and gives your child the attention they deserve the first 4 years of their lives.
Don’t expect anyone to support you and all your kids. Work from home as some form of income but don’t just expect to be taken care of financially just bc you popped out a kid
Better grow up and be a adult and get a real job. Aint nobody gonna wanna support your lazyness smh!