Okay, so here is my dilemma. I’m stuck in a rut in my life right now and have been for some time, and it seems no matter what I do, I can’t seem to get out of it. I’m as depressed as can be because I’m dealing with a terrible broken heart that stemmed from multiple different factors, and I just need some positivity in my life. I don’t know what to do anymore.
Sorry I have no advice, but just wanted to say you are not alone.
It is horrible to have to go through, especially alone.
If you would like someone to chat with who understands, feel free to PM me.
Girl I feel you on so many levels best thing to do is go to therapy talk to your friends or anyone!! We all go thru those stages where no matter what it just seems life doesn’t give you a break! I have been dealing with depression for a good 10 years but thru medication and talking to someone it has eased it alot. I still have my down days where I literally do not get out of bed and let my house go uncleaned. But my depression is so much more manageable then it was in the past. I wish the best for you and never ever give up:heart:
One word, Psychiatrist.
Best thing I’ve ever done was get on meds.
Sometimes wanting it isn’t enough and medications are needed. It doesn’t make you “less than” or “incapable” of getting better, you just may need a little extra.
Talk to your doc, get mental health help (talk + meds). I take a maintenance dose of an antidepressant to keep me from falling into the abyss, but perhaps your blue period is situational vs. chemical, so you’d only need them for a while. It takes time for meds to work, and you may have to try a few to find the best one for you, so don’t get discouraged.
Take up a new hobby just for fun: bird watching, container gardening, coin collecting, geocaching, skydiving, poetry writing, whatever.
Volunteer your time & talents to help those less fortunate than you, either people or animals.
Keep a gratitude journal of all the things you have to be grateful for: health even if it’s not perfect, adequate food, clothing, shelter, family and/or friends who love you, a job and paycheck no matter how crappy they are, the ability to see, hear, feel, taste, smell, walk, talk, etc. Add to your list daily & review it often.
Practice reframing your troubles and looking for the positive.
Get involved in your religious institution of choice. Pick Unitarian Universalism if you have no faith tradition or are atheist or humanist.
Set small goals and achieve them. Celebrate every little win.
Take care of your body with pampering, exercise you enjoy, healthy, organic food, and time spent in nature, or just outdoors.
If you’re going to worry, set aside a specific time to do so and only do it during that time.
Join a club or take a class doing something fun to meet nice new people: art class, bowling league, book club, political campaign, water aerobics, community college class (if you live in Northern Virginia, Jill Biden could be your teacher!).
Do something to disrupt your life as it is so you can begin to change yourself and your circumstances.
Good luck!
From my own experience… honestly just slow down and Take it one THING, one DAY, one STEP at a time. Don’t try and force any kind of feelings to “get over it”. Ask family and friends for help to take the kids for a few hours so you can sleep and cry and be alone. It’s ok to need your own space! Life is really hard, even for us moms. Just know you’re not in this alone. I struggle everyday with depression and anxiety, and just knowing other moms are dealing with it along with me… really truly helps! I hope you feel better soon mama!
See a counselor. Many communities have low cost or sliding scale fees. Your depression can be caused by brain chemistry and if so medication may help.
I was in a very dark place. It’s very hard to get out but you can do this. Please seek out counseling and medication if you haven’t already. Don’t let them put you on anything heavy or sedative. Make changes in your life. The hardest changes are often the most rewarding (maybe not immediately but eventually) find hobbies. I used to go to Groupon and see what deals they had and try things I never would have before. Volunteer your time. Helping others is by far the best thing to do with your time. I used to volunteer at a soup kitchen and pet shelter but the elderly homes and hospitals with NICU babies are always looking for people too. It’s hard to motivate to do these things but if you want to get better you have to force yourself. Praying for you
Vit D3 and iron have done wonders for me. Check your vit levels first, it might not be depression.
People tend to look for happiness in other people. You have to find a therapeutic outlet. A hobby
Medication and therapy. You can’t just “move past” depression.
hugs it’s hard to pull yourself out of it, i know. but you can i know you can. and it doesn’t have to be some big life altering thing to snap you out… baby steps. little things. and what’s right for me might not be right for you - but i have faith that you’ll find your thing
the best advice i can give you is to do something new. something you’ve never done before. never had a green tea latte? try it! never climbed a tree? take your sad mopey self to a place with trees and try to climb it. even if you scrape your hands and look like a fool and can’t get up to a branch… try it never been to the huge thrift store in the next town over? go walk through and look at the freaky dolls and furniture and vintage clothes… touch stuff (and use hand sanitizer!). never read a comic book? pick out one with a female hero!
it may feel silly. you might sip your latte and say “nah, this isn’t it i still feel mopey”. and that’s fine! but do something different. do something new. and kick depression in the booty.
Therapy…find a therapist specific to your needs and let it out! Self love… find things you enjoy and participate in them. Take time to heal and relearn yourself. Let go of your crutches and toxic people, environments etc… engage in rethinking. Give yourself grace and commit to changing.
Also, explore holistic and whole body changes… diet, habits, health conditions can worsen your mental state big time! Detox and heal the whole body. Depression and mental stress can wreck havoc on our bodies.
Try chakra balancing, this has helped me a ton!
One thing I found to help me apart from medication is jigsaw puzzles. It helps to calm and settle me and gives me some me time. And sometimes my little one will come up and sit on my lap and I’ll teach him how to do it find him 1 or 2 pieces and show him where to put them.
If we have a broken bone, most of us immediately go to the doctor. However, if we are broken emotionally or mentally, it’s less common to seek medical help. This stigma regarding mental health needs to end. Please seek treatment as soon as possible. If you are against medication, let the physician know and stand firm. You’re not alone. So many of us are hurting and don’t know how to heal. Therapy, meditation and self-care… that’s my recommendation.
There is no shame in seeking professional help. Counseling and/or medication can get you on the right path and both can be temporary or long term solutions. If you go with medicine, try to be aware of how you’re feeling and relay that to the doctor so you can find what medicine and dose works best for you. I hope you feel better quickly!
Try find a way to help someone else’s who will really appreciate it and be great full like a single mom or just anyone when you see how much you can help someone else it really brightens your day to know if you didn’t help that person they could or would still be struggling find something out of your comfortable zone like going to the gym
Ok . So I’ve recently got tuned in to “I’ve got a message for you.”. … it’s so inspiring…. . Takes your mind off you and puts it back On you with great Possibilities… I dig it.
I went through a terrible divorce at 5 months pregnant. My spouse left me for another woman he’d been having an affair with for quite some time. I lost 14 pounds I. A week- pregnant. Therapy and counseling and meds is what got me through it. Don’t let anyone tell you not to do meds. It was the best thing I ever did for my mental health. You don’t have to stay on them forever, and you can start at an extremely low dosage until you find what works for you! Hugs!
Take up a new hobby…distract yourself as best you can. For me, it was rollerskating
Depression is internal. Outside circumstances are effecting your internal state. Your mind, or thought pattern is pacing in circles. Going around and around, and each mental pass digs that circle a little deeper until it is like a pit. Maybe you feel stuck in this metaphorical pit. Like there’s no hope, no way out. But at the same time you know this is not true or you wouldn’t be asking how to get out of it.
It is hard, because it is internal. Only you know it, and only you can fix it. So this is the part where you work on breaking that thought pattern. Replacing negative words with positive ones. Finding a purpose that is not dependent on anyone but yourself. A reason to get up and look at life as worth living. Because it is. There is so much out there for you, it’s only the current mentality holding you down. Dont block the emotion but let it pass through you. Sadness, Anger, pain, FEEL them and Let Them PASS. You may have to do this several times but it will pass. You must IDENTIFY what thoughts are in your train of thought, this circle, this pit of despair. Stop feeding those thoughts. Change the narrative. Change the words to break that cycle of thinking that has only got you to where you are. I know it’s hard to break your old thought patterns. It’s hard. But living this way is even harder.
Besides that, start taking care of yourself, see yourself the way you are and envision the way you would rather be and start being THAT person.
Self care is important. Take a shower. “Splurge” and buy a new lotion or makeup to try. Take a walk out in the fresh air. Be around people, have conversations- you may be able to vent or at least get your mind off what you’re depressed about and onto something else for a while Count off atleast 5 positive things in your life you’re thankful for without any negative thoughts in between(ex. Can be as simple as a roof over your head, your children, your family and/ or friends, a vehicle that runs, truths that were shown to you that did not eat up more of your life, your health, something good that happened to you that day, etc…), music, art, dance… Think of the things you have been passionate about in your life- Those things are part of you.
Use STOP THINK. Any time you have a negative thought tell yourself to stop thinking about it. Instead focus on the positive.
Seek a counselor. Many places are income based, just takes a short search. Depression is something more than just “being able to turn it off.” Your brain has a chemical imbalance that needs assistance and thats something outside experiences will never truly help, only temporarily fix the issue. Good luck on your journey.
Start really small…look in the mirror and say one nice thing about yourself, everyday. Take that up to two, then three and so on but only once you believe the first thing you told yourself. Do one small thing everyday. Water plants, get dressed, brush your hair, whatever it is that you choose then spend the rest of the day chilling. Increase these activities slowly. Eventually taking small steps everyday you will be able to do the bigger ones and get yourself out of this rut. Write things down. Its always been my saving grace.
Walking, learn to run, reading.
There is no shame in asking for help, go see your doctor and ask for help. Then you take it day by day and get up and do it
See your doctor. I take something for mine and it does help.
Talk it out, find self help books, work out, find fun activities and sports to play, make endorphins naturally through these activities. You need to do everything in your power to come out stronger. You need to be the one who says I want to let go of the pain to find a new beginning. And if I fall, I will stand up stronger than the last time. But you need to do that for yourself
I embrace a lot of it… it sucks but it’s who I am it seems and I’m just trying to live the only way I know how;being the sad traumatized girl in this breakfast club of life…
Join a church or a group. Write a grateful list weekly. Start a walking ritual. Meet up with friends weekly. Get up and shower and get dressed every day. Set small goals daily and cross them off as you achieve them.
Therapy and medication. It really can help over time, and the process is definitely one of trial and error. We can’t always pull ourselves out of the rut without help. If your brain isn’t naturally producing the serotonin it needs, store bought is fine and there’s no shame in taking the steps to getting yourself the appropriate help. Sure going outside can help, so can joining a book club, journaling, exercising more, being around friends, making yourself nice meals etcetc. but those things aren’t ‘cure alls’ and don’t always work for everyone to the same extent or continuously. It’s okay if your progress isn’t always linear.
Therapy Saved my life. I was at a dead end and thought my life was over. I didn’t wanna carry on or wake up everyday. I dreaded everything. Until I got referrer to a therapist and got put on meds. It helped me from crying everytime I’d leave the house or make dinner. It stopped me from soaking in my emotions everyday. I still am on mild meds but nothing as heavy as they were. Now I have a counselor too. Find one! They are worth it but it took me 3 years to find a good one.
Definitely what she said ^^^^ also putting something things in your life that would surprise you that bring you happiness. Volunteering at shelters… running your feet thru the grass while looking at clouds. Doing things you haven’t done since childhood. And for me it’s my new hobby of chickens and ducks they are so therapeutic for me and my daughter. Best of luck hunny also having a venting buddy is always great too
Take it a day at a time if that seems to hard , take it a hour at a time try to plan out time to be depressed a d then sat at this time I need to get up and do x y and z. Start off little with how much you need to do each day then add more in a d give yourself less time to be depressed.
Turn to God and positive thinking been there this year over multiple losses and prayer and the love of family and friends are helping me through
Change your habits go for a walk/jog, make sure you eat so you actually have the energy to get up and do things, rearrange some furniture sometimes all it takes is a fresh look to help get out of a funk. But seriously get some help if you are really struggling there is so much help available now different types of therapy and medications.
I dislike prescription meds and talking to people that I don’t have a personal connection to…
I medicate myself with thc and music and try to self heal by meditation and reading self help books about mental health issues that I feel concern myself and my upbringing.
Sometimes I talk to my close friends but I do not feel ever really understood.
Depression is my life long pal. I’ve just learned to deal with… but some days it does have a toll it takes and I have bad days.
Wishing the best for you on your journey
Sometimes the things we normally do to get out of a rut don’t work. Then you get more depressed and defeated. Make an appt with your doctor and take some meds. Saved my life.
I was on antidepressants for years but came off them months ago due to pregnancy. While they helped at first, I feel like trying to come off them and the emotional roller coaster that caused was beyond hard. So becareful if you go down that road. It does help some people though. I see a therapist twice a month. I ‘spoil’ myself a bit more. When I normally would say no I need to save money for this and that, I go get my nails done anyway. The little things really help boost my mood. I tend to isolate myself when I get in those ruts. Yet over the years I have learned I make myself worse by doing that. So really physically and mentally pushing myself to socially interact helps too. It can feel like the hardest thing to do some days. Simply taking a shower can feel so draining but Do. It. Anyway! Cry while you do it. Let that hot water wash it all away. Dress up and take yourself out somewhere! Buy an awesome candle! Just remember the little things go so far to boost your mood!
Talk to a counselor, they give you tools that you can use. Each person is different so the counselor is needed to evaluate your needs and give you the tools that work for you. It can and will get better. Hang in there.
Im am currently going through the same things its so hard somedays to just hold on one more minute hour or day when u feel like theres no hope remember this to shall pass ! I dont know your situation but im going tbrough a break up and i find it helpful to watch youtube videos on how to get over uour ex and alot of it is positive motivation that we forget about ourselves better days are coming ! Your not alonen❤
Positive podcasts, audibles about happy things or growth mindset, get outdoor daily, mediate/pray, post positive messages around your home, on the mirror, in your car, therapy, medicine…the list is long. Start with 1 good thing and do it today, than don’t stop doing it and add to it as you can. You got this
Little things, start with a favorite things day and do at least 3 of your favorite things, a meal, movie, coffee or visit a local place you love. Definitely fresh air, going outside, counting things you’re grateful for, volunteering to help others, anything that gives you a sense of accomplishment.
Honestly for me, when I get like this I find something or someone else to take care of. I’m garbage at self care. To me self care is helping because it makes me feel good. This time around I bought a bunch of plants and it makes me happy to see them grow and blossom. I’ve also pulled weeds out of my grandmas flower bed, volunteered at work for different things
Laugh, Sing, Dance, Cry, Scream, shout, Hollor, Draw, Paint, eat, swim,
Being depressed Is a great thing"! Why you ask? Let me tell you
Because you can still feel, because you are still alive, Because you have an opportunity most won’t ever get back,
Shake it off, Move around, Drink some tea, grab a bite to eat.
You shouldn’t let this cloud become you
I understand a broken heart, I have had 5 miscarriages and got to hold my 2 son at 5 months old, They ripped from my flesh.
I understand.
There is other things to live for.
I have life, You have life, Live it abundantly
Breathe. This too shall pass. The heart takes time to heal, but you will be ok. I deal with depression and anxiety every day. Sounds like maybe seeing someone to talk would be helpful. If you uncomfortable with that or can’t for whatever reason, feel free to msg me.
I can’t work my way out of it, I get frustrated and it turns to anger.
I’ve been on Zoloft for 2 years so far and it’s done wonders for me. I’m on a low dose, and it really seems to help
Honestly, the best advice I have to offer is that you may want to consider therapy. Talking to someone (who has the right skill set /know how)to help you may just be the start of turning things around for you.
I have been there and I suggest a therapist. I knoe it sounds so heavy but its so wonderful to have another person to talk to about it all and help you sort it out. Really changes your perspective and attitude. I would also recommend speaking to your dr about anti-depressants. Its a journey that takes some time but its not always our faults we are sad, sometimes its our brain/body not making the right chemicals to allow us to feel better. Good luck and i hope you find something to pull you through this and out!
Depression is not something to mess with. If it goes untreated for too long and the triggers of whatever caused the depression in first place are not resolved now. Those can lead to a more serious mental condition later in life. I speak from experience in this. I had untreated depression in High School, now I’m about to be 47 I’m bipolar and schizophrenic with major depressive disorder. Please for yourself and your children seek therapy at the very least. An outside source to talk to can be extremely therapeutic. The rollercoaster of meds isn’t always fun! Prayers that you find the answers you seek.
The right medication has helped me so much. I’ve been on antidepressants for about 3 years but I started a new one a few weeks ago and I’ve felt better than I have in a long while
Finding the right fit in a therapist can change everything.
Best of luck to you.
Use this time to be by yourself and dont blame yourself for the decisions that someone else chose to do everyday pray to god and ask him to take the hurting pain out your heart
Maybe see a dr and get soMe anti depression meds I’m on them and they help tremendously
Therapy helped me more than I could ever say. Followed by medication. Don’t try to run from the sadness and heartache. Feel it and keep telling yourself this will pass. And it will. Go talk it out with a wonderful therapist. I promise it helps. Always remember you are not alone.
Do you have young children in your life? Go hang with them… Pick up a hobby… I started painting… I’m not trying to minimize your issues, genuinely offering what helped me… Good luck finding your way out of the darkness
Counseling, walking/exercise, medication, adequate sleep, self care/love and acceptance. Be gentle with yourself. One day at a time
Also strengthen your relationship with God and ask for help and guidance
Leave for 48hrs…someone around you can make this happen for you…dont ignore it, it only gets worse/deeper.
Growing up I was depressed because my dad was on and off in the hospital with brain cancer (eventually in 07 he lost his fight) so I went through some bad phases as a kid. I also had bad influences in my life Once I removed them and moved I was a new person. New job new (ish) town.
I just got over severe postpartum depression. I had people in my life who were using me as their live in slave threatening to kick my family out if I didn’t do everything for them and finally we moved out and got my family away from them (who are actually family) and it helped I’ve been so so happy since.
There’s a lot of things you can do but if you ever need to talk I’d be glad to give you my number. I’ve dealt with so much and I didn’t have my trust worthy people to cry to which was not easy when all’s I wanted to do was cry my heart out to somebody.
Talk to your doctor, medication can help. But if you’re like me and don’t like medication, get plenty of vitimin D, eat healthy, exercise, find a hobby…take a cooking or sewing class or join a book club… Whatever you enjoy, and find like minded friends. Happiness is an inside job.
Depression can either come from hereditary factor or outside source or from within one self as protruding thoughts or a combination of all of them.
if Depression is know to be in the family, seeing a psychologist will help, psychologists are better as they do talking therapies , one such therapy that has been scientifically proven to help is Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, this form of therapy does not change who you are but it addresses intrusive and or troubling thoughts you may have about yourself or a situation you may find troubling.
along with this therapy, you also may be asked to mental wellness exercises this to learn calm and to confront in a safe space normally with the psychologist the thoughts that maybe troubling to you, over time as you confront those thoughts your mind will be less noisy.
it is the mind that causes the problem, that being said the mind can also be affected by a traumatic event or multiple traumatic events where by the mind will either be over protective or self destructive.
traumatic events will burn into the memory long term memory, so your could be triggered by something that is not a threat but may resemble a threat that did you harm, being over protective means you may have trust issues, be suspicious of other peoples intent or be partially paranoid.
in the same sense the mind can also take on a destructive roll if you have been treated poorly there by you your own mind will treat you poorly, being depressed you will get upset easier or have a feeling of emptiness and next to no motivation.
some problems can be corrected without the use of a psychologist or even a psychiatrist.
whatever the problem is or if there are multiple things causing overwhelming stress priortise them to least important to most important and place them in either are they a small problem or a big problem, always start with the small problems first and work your way up to the bigger ones, if you attempt to start with the bigger ones, chance are you will have a mental burn out.
I use this a phrase a lot, “does this work for me does this make me happy” its more of a question than a phrase, but this will fully engage my logic.
your logic part of your brain is the problem solver it can not be corrupted like the mind can, in regards to problems can you change it to suit you or if you can you back away from it there is a solution to every problem some take longer to find and implement.
use your logic to be gentle with yourself, as its your mind causing the problems, as you progress through the problems, you mind will be less noisy or destructive towards you, you will feel better.
if your at a point where you have a desire to hurt someone or yourself then its advisable to see a psychologist would be first step than seeing a psychiatrist from observations are quick to go “here is some drugs now piss off” which then create more problems that it solves.
The psychologist would be the best judge as to if you need to see a psychiatrist.
The ONLY way to find true peace in your life is through Yahusha our savior. Sin lies to us. The world lies to us. If you have not come to Him what do you have to lose??
From my experience I just smoke
Im not that bitch to sit here in a live laugh love t shirt and ask you if youve tried going outside today… I’ll be on meds for the rest of my life with what I’ve got going on so I know that for me its not just going away and no progress i make will some how change my life and will just turn itself around. Its a chemical imbalance. In times of low lows I have to remind myself to keep up healthy habits that make me feel happy. For example, I love the feeling of being surrounded by greenery and nature. So even in my low lows ill force myself to drive to a nature spot or something that has water features and ill just sit there, I dont care if im wrapped up in a blanket on a hot day sitting there in silence because that is what works for me. I just know that mixing up my low low habits makes me not get even lower. Its all one step at a time and everyday the steps reset themselves. Its so hard to force yourself to do anything when you get like that because you just don’t give a damn about yourself but really really try to keep those few positive things in your head that make you light up and keep going even if those inspiring things allow you to get out of bed that day and move to the couch. I personally can not live without a dog in my life. My quality of life is absolute shit without a dog. I currently have my boy Glock, before I had him i would not get out of bed except to use the bathroom and I would even push that till I’m about to piss myself, I would not eat for days, I would cry until I tire myself out and go back to sleep and start the process all over. My boy Glock is the only reason I get out of bed some days, because its not about me anymore. It makes me feel good to have this lovely bond with him, to be his protector, to make sure he is loved and happy. He is my responsibility and no matter how I feel I know I am not alone and this dog is counting on me. I do suggest to anyone clinically depressed to look into getting a rescue dog. I can look back at my low lows without him and how many times I’ve just laid there okay with not waking up the next day. I look at my low lows now and my boy sits there and loves on me when I start crying, he literally gives me a hug sometimes, his empathic presence allowing me to work through the emotions pouring out of me give me the space and time I need to get out the negativity. And then there he is in those moments, reminding me, “mom i have to go potty” “mom its food time” “mom its time to play” he keeps me going. He distracts me from falling into myself. If people are too much for you like they are for me when my emotions are high, you still don’t have to go through this alone
It’s a process and it’s gonna take some time. Try not to be so hard on yourself. I myself was were you are and it took some time and doing but I dug myself out eventually. Eventually you will get tired of being stuck in that rut and break free. Hang in there
Music & get out in nature for a day. Those are my go-to antidepressants!
I have been depressed for 10 years and on meds…recently I decided to stop thinking of everything bad, and every morning when I wake up depressed or anxious I just lay in bed and think of all the ways I am blessed one, by one…by the time I am finished I feel like I can get up and get going even though it is very hard…I think depression is one of the hardest sickness to fight, you are alone in your mind and sometimes do not even know where the mental anguish comes from…counseling helps, having someone to talk you through it helps, friend or neighbor…God put his arms around you and guide you through your struggle…
Pray. Talking to someone helps a lot too.
I have bipolar with ptsd, and my depressive episodes are awful! Before therapy and medication, I would stay in bed all day. Unmotivated, feeling crappy, body was tired…it sucked!
The most important thing is exercise of some kind. My kids like Pokémon Go (app on phone where you walk around town and catch Pokémon) so I schedule a PokéWalk with them everyday. The exercise releases Serotonin (happy chemicals in the brain) and would get me going for the rest of the day.
You have to force yourself to get up. Scheduling stuff and forcing yourself to get up and do it gets you moving (more serotonin) but once you get going, then because your mind is occupied, you aren’t so focused on the depressing stuff.
As far as meds go, I took full spectrum CBD oil for a long time and it really helped not only mentally, but with sleep and aches and pains!
You can’t just do nothing, though, it won’t just go away. Also, your home and bed feel like a safe space, but for ppl with depression it isn’t.
Go to lunch, take a walk, read a book, do a puzzle, go to the gym…just do not plan a day to stay home all day, it’s a trick from your brain, lol!
A broken heart will heal if you let it, but hyper focusing on what broke it doesn’t fix your broken heart, it leaves you stuck in that awful moment in time on repeat. Talk that out with a therapist. There are tons of free therapy resources to talk that broken heart out the window!
Medication makes a difference. And maybe trying a new hobby. Something that distracts you for a bit.
Agree with God, therapy & medication. You may not need medication forever but it will help you keep moving forward
Definitely go talk to your doctor! Don’t be afraid to be honest with them. It can be hard to open up and you may even feel ashamed but it’s the only way to get help. Good luck!
Ask God to help you change and stop thinking about the past and move on also go see your doctor so that he can give you something for your depression I have been there talk to some who understand how you are feeling right now you my need to see a sike doctor
I know what helps me a lot is doing things that make me feel better… even if I have nothing to do I take a shower and put some make up on, maybe fix my hair or fix it in a cuter bun a and get dressed. Maybe paint my nails after the kids are in bed lol just try and do something simple that u enjoy it makes me feel better:wink: