How can I parent my nine-year-old with anger issues and autism?

I have a nine-year-old boy with autism and anger problems. I’ve been a single parent majority of his life and I’ve tried so many things, but nothing helps. Any suggestions that would help discipline him?


Tools of choice. Positive behavior support has proven to be the best!

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What Amy said and Set firm boundaries, make sure he knows the rules, be very very consistent.

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I tend to say things “as a matter of factly” and stay calm.

I dont know where on the spectrum he is but definitely find a vocational therapist who specializes in autism. They can help teach him coping mechanisms that are appropriate for daily living and help coach you and his support system

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For example if my son is throwing a tantrum about wanting to play with toys at the table, i just re state " im sorry you don’t like it but we are not having toys at the table, he throws a fit, i will tell him, we are enjoying dinner and you can throw a fit in your own room and come join us when your done, ignoring the tantrum has been most effective in our case. He will then come back and eat once he realizes 1 he won’t get his way and 2 that his tantrum was not effective

My son is 7 with autism and he has anger problems also, if he’s verbal or semi verbal than try and rule out physical first for anger disruption. My son started to hit puberty in oct-nov of last year and it took awhile to even realize he was having this issue but yup verified by doctor so I’ve had to take and put it like I’m glad it’s now at 7 and not 14 because this would have been a lot harder. He has problems with hitting once in a blue moon and an amazing voice for screaming, I swear my son created a new octive lmfao. Check into that also. I have also been a single mother the majority of my children’s lives, more than 70 percent alone. I now prefer it and my children are happier, so your not alone in that regard :slightly_smiling_face: oh and with the puberty part caused him to have severe meltdowns at the start of it because he didn’t know how to word what was going on inside his body and he said he couldn’t control anything

Look up Dr. Green and the book the explosive child. There is a page on here Called The B Team. It’s a different way of parenting that helps alot of people, I am looking into this way with my 12 year old with severe disruptive mood disorder and adhd/odd, it’s so trying as for them and us to figure out what works.

U have to talk in a calm manner no loud talk because sometimes that triggers them be consistent because haveing no structure can also set him off be gentle and firm but also say what u mean good luck

Behavioral therapy has helped mine find ways to channel the anger. She is ASD but also ODD (opposition defiant disorder). Positive reinforcement always helped her.

I grew up with ADHD and my father’s side is hyperactive and I expect that. There was an excess. Of course, some get both of those diagnoses.

Is he verbal or non verbal?